The next few days consist of us being apart only when we go to bed at night. I convince Annie to skip school, and she does, after much persuasion, when I admit to her that I have to go to the Capitol to mentor in a few days.

Finally the day arrives. And, I am not allowed to drown in my sorrows or fears, because today is also Annie's birthday, and the last day that I will see her for close to a month. I wake up early, and go to her house. We sit on the beach and wait for the sunrise.

"Finnick, why did you choose me?" She questions," when you could have had anyone?"

I sit, silent for a moment, before responding.

"Because you loved me, truly loved me, when no one else did."

She nods slowly, thinking about my answer.

"And," I continue," You were worth waiting for."

She gives me a small smile, and leans her head on my shoulder. We sit there for a moment, and I wonder why she does not respond. Then I realize.

She has fallen asleep.

I savor this moment, the peace before the storm. I know, somehow, that after today, nothing will be the same. I didn't know, however, how right I was.

I return to my world of thought, allowing myself a brief moment of despair, of pain, before the sun begins to rise over the horizon, giving me hope.

Hope that tomorrow, however painful, will pass. Hope that there will be many more morning like this one, to come.

I gently shake Annie awake, and we sit in silence, hand in hand, watching the sun rise over the water.

When the sun is fully up, I turn to her, and smile.

"I have something for you. Something for you to remember me by, when I am not here."

Her eyes shimmer, brimming with both tears and happiness. A strange mixture.

"I will never forget you, Finnick, never."

I roll my eyes, and then wink playfully, "I am sure that there are plenty of boys around here for you to fall for while I am gone."

She frowns at me, and says,"Don't joke like that, Finnick. After everything that has happened...I don't find it funny."

I nod. "Sorry."

Then I reach into my pockets and pull out two items. The first is a sugar cube, because that has become a symbol to me. A symbol of hope, in the midst of impossibility. A symbol of how fear can be overcome, and freedom can be obtained, even in the midst of a prison.

She smiles, and accepts the cube, placing it in her pocket.

The second item I give her is a locket. Gold, but air brushed to match her eyes, and delicately hand crafted. It is in the shape of a heart, with a pearl embedded on the front. She opens it, and inside, I have placed a picture of myself, along with a small note, in my own handwriting.

You set me me free, when no one else could. Happy sixteenth birthday. I love you. Finnick.

She smiles as I fasten the clasp against the back of her neck.

"Thank you, Finnick."

Then I kiss her, and after I whisper softly:

"I will wait impatiently to get back here for more moments like these. And, of course, more kisses."

She giggles, and for a moment, she is just a girl. I prefer her like that, really. But the moment passes far to fast for my liking. It is time to get ready for the reaping.

"You have given me the best birthday ever, Finnick," she whispers, getting ready to go.

I hold her in my arms, not willing to give her up, just yet. She wraps her own around me, and we sit like that, for another hour, soaking up these last few moments.

When I wake up, I find myself lying on the beach, my back to a tree, in the afternoon sunshine. For a moment I am confused, wondering what I am doing here. Then I remember, the reaping.

Leaping to my feet, I glance at the sun, and judge it to be about 2:00.

Thank goodness.

It would not be a good thing to be late for my first reaping as a mentor.

I wonder, though, why Annie left me here. Why she didn't wake me up.

Then I realize.

She didn't want to say goodbye. It would have been too painful, especially after such a magical morning. The thought of being away from her, for even a moment, tears at my heart as well.

I wonder if I will be able to face the long nights in the Capitol again, dragging myself out of nightmares only to find that there is no relief in waking. Once again, I feel more like the weak boy, at the mercy of my father, the Capitol, and the President, rather than the strong victor everyone believes me to be.

I close my eyes and lean against the tree again, taking deep breaths to keep my head above the water that once again threatens to drown me.

I focus my thoughts on Annie, focus on pushing everything else aside. I begin to shake, and tears stream down my face, but I just focus harder. Focus on anything but what is coming. Anything but what this next month will bring.

But I can't shut out the past. Annie may have cut my bonds, but it takes a long time for a prisoner to get used to freedom. Especially when they have only been unchained, and are still locked inside the prison walls.

Really, I have spent my entire life locked in an arena, trying to think my way out.

And no one escapes the arena except the victor. And the victor can only be one person. Which I am. Which I am not.

I am Finnick Odair. I am a boy. I am a man. I am a victor. I am not free.

I will never be free.

I force myself to my feet, with all these thoughts threatening to not only drown me, but to choke me, to strangle me. All my life, I have put on a mask. Only now do I truly understand, for the first time, what Annie said when she spoke of how I needed to take off the mask.

But I have gotten used to it. It has become my savior. I hide behind it, and it makes me strong. Without it, I am only a boy with a trident.

That isn't so very much, after all.

Then I remember something. Something that has not come to my mind for years. Something my mother once told me, before she died.

She was a victor too. I suppose she must have struggled in the same way I am, now. Because the wisdom in her words was meant for me.

It was when I was five. I had entered school for the first time, and felt isolated, being a victor's child. No one talked to me. I came home in tears, and fell into my mothers arms. She held me for a moment and then said:

"Finnick, son, I know this may not seem like it helps, now. But you will understand one day. A very wise woman once told me that: 'you've got to go through it to get to the end of it.' Enjoy the moments that you can, because they may be few. But don't let the hardships, the hurts, and the pain in life tear you down. Because, Finnick, there is good in this world, and it is worth fighting for. But how can you fight for the world if you are to broken to take a stand. Never fear the consequences of doing what is right."

It was a lot to say to a five year old on their first day of school. I had no idea what she meant, but somehow the words comforted me, and I have always remembered them, and kept them in the back of my mind. But they were not meant for a five year old, crying over a lack of friends. They were meant for a victor, to challenge him to take a stand. To be more than just a piece in their games.

I am not ready to stand up against the Capitol. I have, as my mother warned, become far to broken. But it occurs to me that sometimes those who are weak are the most capable to fight against the strong. Perhaps someday, someone else will take a stand, and I will be able to fight alongside them. I may not be a leader, but I would be a dedicated follower.

I walk to my house, considering all these things, and dress in an outfit provided by the Capitol themselves for the occasion. A pair of loose fitting white pants. A sea green top, with a red sash, open almost to my waist. And a necklace complete with a shark tooth. Even though I have lived by the ocean all my life, I am unable to tell whether it is real or not real.

I check the clock, the time reading 2:45. The reaping begins at 3:00 sharp. I need to hurry.

Locking my door, I hurry down the cobblestone road through the Victor's Village that leads to the square, and the steps of the Justice Building, where the ceremony will be held. Reaf, District Four's announcer, is already present, as is the mayor. I don't see Mags. Oh, wait, there she is, climbing the steps with some assistance from the railing.

I hurry up beside her, and help her the rest of the way. She winks at me, and I smile. If anyone can cheer me up, it is Mags. She mentored me in my Games. I wouldn't have won without her advice.

At exactly three the mayor begins with a speech. It is the same every year. And then a video. The same every year. Then Reaf stands up and begins his speech, about what a privilege it is to be here. This, also, is the same every year.

I begin to zone out.

Finally, Reaf's speech comes to a close, and he walks over to the boys bowl. Most districts begin with the girls. In fact, the most hilarious looking Capitol woman, Effie Trinket, I believe her name is, states every year in a high-pitched, Capitol accent, "Ladies First." I have to suppress a laugh, thinking of the way she says every year,"Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor." Mags gives me a stern look, and I straighten up, faking complete control. Pretending to be the strong victor everyone wants to see.

I don't recognize the name called for the boys. A fifteen year old, Nolan Bard. My mind wanders again, as Reaf asks for volunteers, and, surprisingly, none accept. My mind focuses on Annie again, and how much I wish that she was coming with me, that I didn't need to be...

"Annie Cresta."

I freeze at the sound of the name, thinking that I must have spoken my thoughts out loud. I look around, but no one's eyes are on me. Instead every eye is on a girl standing a few rows back. Dressed in a green outfit, with her hair flying in the wind. Sea green eyes piercing into mine.

I don't understand for a moment. I can't place the voice, and Annie's name.

Then it hits me.

Annie separates herself from her friends. From all of the girls. From the entire group of children gathered together.

Her name was called. She was reaped.

She climbs the stairs. Reaf asks for volunteers. I hold my breath, silently pleading, begging, anyone to take her place.

No one does.

She shakes hands with Nolan, and then the two of them disappear inside the Justice Building.

I realize what has happened. My wish has been, however wrongly, granted. Annie is coming to the Capitol with me.

Annie is to be a tribute in the Hunger Games.

I want to stop this. To put an end to this. To volunteer myself to take her place. But I can't, I can't, I can't.

Not only am I helpless, but I am at fault.

This is my fault.

My fault.

Mine.

I don't cry, I just stare at the cameras. Any reaction from me will only hurt her now. Instead, I forget what is going on. I remove myself from the situation, and instead recall our last night together. Yesterday. In the cave.

We met when the sun went down. Annie seemed somehow nervous. When I asked her what was wrong, she shrugged me off. I persisted, and she finally told me that she was worried about the reaping. I laughed, told her not to worry. That she had no chance of being picked. There were over ten thousand female names in that bowl, and Annie was only written on five of them.

She nodded, but she still seemed worried.

I wrapped my arms around her, and she sat in my lap, leaning against me.

Safe.

Or so I thought.

We spent a few hours like that, talking, kissing, and just being in each other's arms in the privacy of the cave, overlooking the river. Nothing else happened, of course, we were as innocent as children in our love for one another. We just wanted to be together, that was all that mattered.

I loved her. She loved me. There was nothing fake, or unreal about our love.

I...

"Finnick?"

I shake my head, freeing myself from the memory, and see Mags looking down at me. "Are you alright, Finnick?"

I consider saying no, but I look down and see that everyone has already dispersed. I must have been lost in thought for far longer than I realized.

"No." I say. I can be honest with Mags. Only with Mags can I share my heart.

Mags nods, "Annie, right?"

I nod. Trust Mags to figure that one out.

"No one else can know, Finnick. If the President found out this early on..."

"I know, Mags. I know."

She gives me a gentle smile. "They will be leaving soon, Finnick. Annie will need you to be strong for her."

I know this. It is what I worry about. How can I be strong for Annie when I have no strength in me for myself?

"You are stronger than you yourself know, Finnick. And that strength is about to be tested. I'm here for you, remember that."

"Thank you, Mags. Come on, we had better get to the train station."

Mags nods, and I walk with her towards the train. Towards, perhaps, the death of the only true love I have ever had.

And I am powerless to stop it.

This is why, as I sit on the bus in the Capitol, four years later, I try to focus on the happy points of life. The good days, rather than the bad. Yet it is also why I find it so difficult to watch this particular Hunger Games, because it remind me too much of the situation I myself was in, only a few years back.

It is still dark when I dismount the bus and enter the building. The elevator ride seems to take forever, compared to the quickness of last evening. I enter the viewing room just as the dawn breaks the horizon, and a table is raised into the arena. I sit beside Lyme, because Annie is not in the room. Of course, she tries to stay away from the Games as much as she can. She is probably still sleeping.

Lyme, on the other hand, is fully alert. She still has two tributes in them, and with the new rule, she is desperate to get them both out alive. I feel someone sit down beside me, and find Haymitch, yet another victor. Also with two tributes still in the Games. I am sitting in between the fiercest competitors, at this moment. I try not to think about it, and instead fix my eyes on the screen, where a redheaded girl has just darted out of the Cornucopia to snatch up a backpack marked with a large 5. Then, out of the bushes, runs Katniss, the girl tribute from 12. I hear Haymitch growl with anxiety, as the girl from 2 joins her. Katniss attempts a shot, but it is weak, and Clove, the district 2 girl, soon has her on her back, knife raised. I brace myself for the imminent cannon shot, when I hear Lyme muttering,"don't be an idiot Clove, she is not your enemy, don't make it any worse than it needs to be." And suddenly Clove is not longer on top of Katniss, but rather being smashed into the Cornucopia by Thresh, the boy from eleven. She calls out for her partner, Cato, but is dead before he realizes what has happened. Thresh gives Katniss a once over and then says, "Just this once, Twelve, I let you go. For Rue."

Lyme is cursing under her breath, as a cannon shot signals Clove's death. Katniss takes off into the trees, placing the odds entirely in District Twelve's favor. Something that has not happened for 24 years. Not since Haymitch himself won the Games.

I must admit, this turn of events is more than I could have hoped for. I do not like the Games, and I do not believe that President Snow will let them both live, but at least they will experience a few last days of peace.

I decide to find Annie. Maybe we can spend the day together, somewhere quiet.

Alone.