The Hat

Yo. So it's been almost a year since I published any oneshot here, and almost three years since I've played with the Giovanni-being-Ash's-dad schtick. (Yep, guess who's back. back again.) Well, despite Ash not being the main focus here, I'm glad I get to revisit this topic as a college student with better...idea-making...yo. Also publishing this one on tumblr, and so I'll stop rambling so we can enjoy this. Yes. Maybe.

The office was cold and dark, shrouded and mystery and cool air-conditioning. Not many people enjoyed the thought of stepping into the Boss's domain; after all, when one usually saw the Boss, it was usually for either a really good thing or a really bad thing. And from the rumors that circulated throughout Headquarters, one definitely never wanted to be in the Boss's office for a really bad thing.

Luckily this visit was for a really good thing...or at least that's what the trio believed in their hearts. They were rising stars with Team Rocket, and some of the gamblers placed them as one of the top five trios that would soar up the infamy charts within the next few months or so. The one with the fiery red hair and the fiery temper to match it, the one with the suave voice and charming good looks, and the talking Meowth. Sure, their first couple of years started off as rocky and uncertain, but now they were certain that they had finally made it.

After all, they were in the Boss's actual office.

And so Giovanni regarded them with a cool contemplation in his eyes, cooler than the air-conditioning that filled the office. Probably cold as ice. But in this case his tone was not cold, just businesslike, ready to send them off on whatever awesome mission he gave them. "Ahhh, yes, you three. The upcoming stars of our organization," he started, offering them a humorless smile beyond the files that he glanced. "Jessie...and James. And Meowth, of course. The talking one."

"Sir!" all three of them responded affirmatively.

Giovanni didn't miss a beat as he turned the files' pages, narrowing his eyes. "Today I am entrusting you three with a very important task. You have the generous time of a week to complete it, but I will tell you right now...that if you fuck this up, there will be dire consequences."

The last words rolled across the trio's ears as a clear promise, not a threat. On Meowth's level Giovanni's prized pokemon, a Persian, yawned and wagged his tail once or twice, ears pricking up at the thought of their possible failure. But the trio would not think of failure, sounding out another "Sir!" before their boss continued, shedding his smile, "If you want out now, I'll humor you and give this mission to another group. Save your reputation that you hold as such a prize."

"We refuse to disappoint you, Sir! We will humbly take this mission!" Jessie declared.

"It would hurt not only our reputation but our pride by refusing to serve Team Rocket!" James added.

"Dat's right. We will take whatever you throw at us, Boss!" Meowth finished.

"Good."

The Boss dumped a second batch of files across his desk and gestured to them for the trio to take. Before they had a chance to look at them, he took on a expression of graveness and brief hesitation. "Those files will further explain what you will do, but I will give you the necessary summary of this mission. You will be retrieving an item of vital importance, and it cannot be damaged no matter what happens. One Pokemon League Expo hat, in mint condition."

There was brief silence, and the trio did everything they could from appearing confused by this rather baffling statement, though if the Boss wanted a hat, they wouldn't ask why. Giovanni shook his head, as if he could read their thoughts and understand them quite well. "Don't be fooled by the simplicity of the item. They are quite difficult to obtain. Recently the League held a promotional contest where contestants sent in postcards through the mail in hopes of winning one..." For a moment Giovanni lost his stony expression, looking almost troubled, before hastily returning to his usual self. "My client's son was one of those contestants. Claims he sent about a million postcards, but it looks like the League hasn't returned his efforts. He'll be turning ten in two weeks, and it would be a shame if he didn't receive the hat, so my client has requested that it be obtained at all costs."

Another longer period of silence. Then James slowly raised his hand, wincing at himself as soon as he made the motion. The Boss pointed to him, and he gulped, lowering his gaze to anywhere but ahead. "Not to sound rude, Sir, but wouldn't your client's son with something else, like a rare and powerful pokemon?" he asked. "After all, it's just a hat."

If looks could kill, the charming one would be dead. Suddenly Giovanni rose from his seat, and James felt like he was as small as Meowth. So this was the boss's notorious bad side. "The boy won't shut up about it!" he snapped, banging a fist on his desk. "My client and I have discussed a variety of alternatives had the hat not have showed up at their house, but the boy is absolutely adamant about getting that fucking hat! Therefore, you three will get that hat in my hands within a week, and so help me God if there is even one dent or unraveled piece of fabric from it, I will make sure that your rivals will get the next ten missions that would've been assigned to you!"

Jessie's cheeks brightened, and she grabbed the back of James's collar. "Lose our missions to Cassidy and Botch? Absolutely not!" she huffed, shaking her partner once. "There is no need to worry, Sir. We will not fail you."

"That's what I like to hear. Should you not be able to take the hat without arousing too much suspicion, I am giving you this envelope." The Boss tossed an envelope at Jessie, who caught it. "You will give it to one of the League officials, and they should be able to redirect you to the right places. Use that as a last resort. Understand?"

"Sir!" resounded once more from the three, to which Giovanni replied with a swift, "Dismissed". They wasted no time in exiting his office, serious and grave in their strides but inwardly giggling like schoolchildren in glee at the prospect of completing such an important task and gaining more imaginary points against their arch-nemeses, Botch and Cassidy. Together Jessie and James would be queen and king, and Meowth would eventually climb the pokemon's version of the proverbial totem pole and become top cat. The future looked bright for all of them.

Meanwhile, not long after the trio had left, Giovanni couldn't help but chuckle as he made a call to his "client". The phone rang about three or four times before the other end answered, the voice trying their hardest to sound indifferent. "You usually don't call this early in the day. What did you do now?"

Persian nudged against his free hand. Giovanni stroked the cat's ears and didn't flinch when the pokemon decided to nip at him, his grin consuming up all of the usual annoyed feelings. "It looks like the boy will get the hat after all. I've decided to send a team to fetch it for him."

"What?! Giovanni, you know I can't say this is an abuse of your power because you do what you do, but this- our son-"

"He'll never know, Delia," Giovanni replied smugly. "It'll be one genuine Pokemon League hat, mint condition and wrapped up in all of its official wrapping. I don't think how he obtains it matters that much."

"But he did send in at least one hundred postcards. The Professor and I counted them. Maybe he can get lucky the legal way."

"Fffff. You and I both know that the League makes those contests so damnably impossible. Normally the only kids who get those hats are the ones whose parents work in the League itself. I just want to give the boy a fighting chance."

"But-"

"Trust me, darling, everything will work out just fine. He'll never know, he'll be happy, and in two weeks he'll strut around the Kanto region with his favorite new hat. It's the least I can do for being an absentee father."

"...all right. I'll trust you. Just don't make your team go through too much trouble, Vanni. I know Ash wants the hat badly, but we don't need anyone arrested over it."

"I know. In fact, I have much bigger plans for them. They should prove to be very entertaining to the boy when he begins his training."

"I hope he kicks your ass at the Viridian Gym."

"I love you, too, Delia. You just keep him on his toes, though I'm sure he already does that on his own. Talk to you later."

"Thank you, Vanni. Love you, too."

Giovanni hung up the phone, and though the office continued to be cold and dark, there was a brief warmness within it, the calm before the storm. He was sure that those three would be able to get the hat in time. And then, unbeknownst to them, he would make sure that they would be his son's new playmates for as long as he could stretch his half-assed excuses.

It was a very nice deal for everyone involved.

End