"I'm serious, don't worry." She pacified him. "Besides life with you is just one long honeymoon anyway." She gushed sarcastically.
"And don't forget it." Daryl countered in a smart ass tone. "You're freezing." He noticed Danni was shivering, and her lips had a slight blue tinge. He took off his leather jacket and draped it over her shoulders pulling it tightly around her and steered her back across the yard to the prison door. Her trembling wasn't just from the cold night air she was chilled to her core.
"You don't remember anything you were saying?" He asked as they walked.
"No. I really don't." She answered between chattering teeth. "What was it?"
"I don't know... you were somebody else." After an indecisive silence, he added, "You were telling me I was someone else too."
"What made you change your mind about going back to the house?"
"That whole damn thing did. What's going on?"
"I don't know. I think she was here just now though."
A chill raced up his spine. "Maybe you oughta read some cards."
She nodded. It had been a while.
Still cold, she kept his jacket on even when they were back inside. He put a blanket over her legs.
"What I said to you, before, I'm sorry." He mumbled.
She nodded. "Its okay."
"I didn't mean-"
"I know."
"I'm not going-"
"You're here now."
"Can we-""
"Forget it? Yes."
"It's done?"
"It's done." She repeated.
"A month, huh?" He didn't count days or pay attention to time passing, the way she did.
"But it's more like six months in Walker time." She added.
She felt everything had moved too fast. However, with the current state of the world, the old standard measure of time no longer applied. They were living in Walker time. She modeled her concept on dog years. If one human year equals seven dog years, then one month in Walker time is six. Everything speeds up when you are outrunning death.
Six months. Considering he'd never had a relationship with anyone before, Daryl thought it sounded pretty good.
"That's good huh?"
"Its great." She assured him. Not for lack of trying though. "Hand me my cards, will you?"
He did and watched her do her usual breathing, concentrating, shuffling and picking.
Seven of Cups. He had handed her the reference book before she asked. She opened the page and began reading aloud. "The Seven of Cups indicates that the images in your mind must be dealt with not only in your dreams but the world of reality. Be careful of wishful thinking or illusions in the choices you now face. If you are always caught up in your own dreams, fantasies, and fears, you will never be able to move forward and make those dreams a reality or overcome those fears. With the Seven of Cups, there is a risk of delusion. You need to separate what is real from what is a fallacy. Protect yourself against unclear or wishful thinking and habitual daydreaming. Avoid escapism and self-deception. This card shows the danger of choices and plans that have little or no basis in reality. When you try to carry out those ideas in the real world, you are leaving yourself open to inevitable disappointment." She looked up at him. "To be honest, I don't know what we're getting into or why we have to do this."
"That card makes it sound like whatever it is, is trying to mess with you. To make you forget about your own life. You gotta stay in this world, like I tell you. Danni, your other dreams were different. They brought us here, showed us about the troublemakers. Whatever this lady stuff is, it don't seem the same to me. It ain't helping us. I just want to get you there and get this over and done. Get back to normal."
"Thanks for doing my reading." She shook her head and smiled. You're getting good at this." She teased.
"Go to sleep." He said noticing dark circles under her eyes, and her face looking drawn, her features markedly sharper in the candlelight. He knew he'd worried her today. His shame waged an internal war with his relief that she stayed. She hadn't been pissed at him for leaving or yelling at her. She tried to comfort him. The way he'd acted, the things he'd said hadn't changed her feelings about him. No matter how long they'd been together, it still felt new every time. Not bad but not quite right yet. He was still getting used to it.
He knew Danni never backed down from anything. Wasn't that what made him notice her in the first place; what made him start to love her? That thing with Ed, goddamn he'd never forget it. Son of a bitch was twice her size; hell if he hadn't thrown his knife he was almost sure she could have handled it on her own. But he did, and that throw of the knife changed his life. He realized that she never backed down from him. She didn't let him get away with a damn thing. She called him on his shit, made him do all that stuff with people he hated. How did she do it? And why? She loves me. Let her, just let her you idiot.
Danni curled on her side, still nestled in his jacket, comforted by the feel and his smell. She had no dreams or strange feelings. She slept soundly for the first time since this whole 'lady' business started. When Daryl joined her, he faced her as always and watched her breathe.
... ... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
"So two days? Maybe three?" Rick asked Daryl as he studied the route they'd mapped out.
"Yeah, I got an idea of where to go. Give us four days in case, don't want y'all panicking if we run later than that."
"You'll be okay out there that long?" Rick asked.
Daryl moved his head back, raised an eyebrow and stared.
"Yeah, of course, you will." He went on. "T-Dog found you something to drive that'll let you haul stuff back. He matched keys up from the warden's office and guards' lockers to a bunch of cars still in the prison employee lot." Rick explained pointing to an older model Ford Explorer. T-Dog had siphoned gas from some other cars to fill its tank as well as a gas can to bring if they got low on fuel.
"Are you sure you don't want T to go along, or Glenn?"
Daryl nodded. "You'll need them here."
After some silence Daryl asked. "Hey have any more of them dreams?"
Rick was surprised. "Yeah actually. But in the one last night I got most of the men out, the sides of the trench were more stable. I managed better. The damnedest thing though. Never was much for dream interpretation, but all this, keeping us going, is getting to me a little I guess."
As Danni put the few days worth of provisions, Carol had packed for them into the back of the SUV Sophia approached. She whispered. "The lady says thank you."
Danni crouched down to face her. "She knows?"
"Yes and so do I but I won't tell anybody, don't worry. She says she's in you now."
Danni felt cold again. "Well, take good care of Fionn for me okay?"
As far as the rest of the group knew, Daryl was taking her on a run to find a Wal-Mart or box store to get baby supplies and other necessities Rick had listed for him. It was true, they just omitted the part about the detour back to the abandoned plantation house.
Daryl surprised her when took the keys from her hand ready to do the driving. Back with the band it had always been a rock paper scissors, flip a coin, short straw situation.
"We can split the driving." She offered.
He shrugged. "I got it."
As he started the engine, she settled in the passenger seat and propped her boots on the dash.
"I'm great at road trips. Touring was one long road trip. Months of living on bad coffee, diet coke, potato chips and power bars. Gas station food. Oh and then cleaning up in truck stop bathrooms, nasty. We'd get lost half the time and barely make sound check."
"This is only gonna be a day or two, you know that right?" He asked.
"We should have music and snacks." She added wistfully.
"Its gonna be a long day." He complained shaking his head. "Are you gonna drive me crazy the whole way?"
"You have no idea." She reached over and mussed his hair. "Poor thing..." She said with a tone of exaggerated pity.
"Watch it." He moved back pretending to be annoyed.
Miles and trees passed as they sped along the asphalt. Danni opened the window to let in the brisk air hit her face, she smelled rain coming. Every so often they'd see Walkers limping up the sides of the road shuffling single file or in group formation. Every so often, they detoured around abandoned cars in the middle of their route. Reminders that they weren't in the old world.
Danni found some old CDs under her seat. "My karaoke song! Shit this is awesome." She opened the Pink greatest hits. "Whenever we were at a club with karaoke this was mine. I owned it." She put the cd in and advanced it to "Fuckin' Perfect."
"You gonna torture me now?" He asked sarcastically, liking when she got excited and acted like she was a little kid.
"No, I'm good, really. I can hit every note. People would request me."
She sang with the CD
'Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good.'
It didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look I'm still around...'
"I should have been a pop princess and made a million bucks, instead of sticking to rock and well, not making a million dollars that's for sure. But seriously I do love that song. Apparently she wrote it when she was pregnant with her daughter. She wrote it for her baby."
Daryl just listened, half paying attention, realizing she made him happy. She really did and he was finally admitting it to himself. After some more driving, they shifted into shared comfortable silence. Finally, Daryl hesitated but said, "Andrea came on to me the other day. I think she did anyway." He wanted to get it out.
"What? You let her? Dammit Daryl, after Truly I thought you'd have learned your lesson!"
"I'm... I'm just being honest here, I-" he became flustered and stared at the road.
"You promised me! What, were you thinking with your dick again!"
"Jesus. I didn't do ..."
He glanced over to find Danni was full on smiling and when he caught her she started laughing.
At first he wanted to be pissed but her smile got to him and he knew she was giving him shit like she was supposed to. It had been a while.
"Maggie told me she's been doing it with everybody. Even Rick. That's low. Well with you too, really. low."
"So you don't care?"
"You know, for some reason I don't. She's always had it out for me, but I can't see you with her. She's not that kind of threat to me."
... ... .. .. .. . .. .. .. .. .. .
They arrived at the old house in the mid afternoon. Clouds were beginning to overtake the sun and rain would move in soon.
Nothing had changed outside of the place since they'd left it weeks before. She took in the overgrown front yard and giant magnolia tree. The low porch had columns with peeling paint framing the dark green screen door almost off its hinges. The fields stretched out for miles beyond the waist-high wooden rail fence reinforced with chicken wire. She felt an affection for the place like she had the first time they were here. She and Daryl walked the perimeter of the yard, scanning for Walkers in the back and nearby field. Nothing. A couple of kids bikes caught his eye laying on their side at the edge of the dirt driveway that led to the barn behind the house. He stood over them and stared down at the rusted handlebars and chipped paint on the frames. He gently kicked one front tire with the toe of his boot. He'd never had a bike growing up. He was the only kid in the neighborhood without one.
"We going in?" Danni asked interrupting his reverie.
"Yeah."
She followed him as he walked room to room, ensuring the place was as clear as it was the last time they'd been here. It seemed that no one and nothing had been inside since the group spent the night. When they reached the second floor, Danni expected to see the owl in the bedroom like last time, but it was gone.
"Now what?" He called up the stairs to her after he'd brought their backpacks in and let them thump to the floor of the living room.
Danni had no idea. Now that she was here she wasn't getting any sense of direction about where to look or what she was even looking for.
She was still in the bedroom, wandering, looking at the tilted paintings hanging haphazardly on the burgundy painted walls. Mostly landscapes. She began to strip the mattress of its dusty bedding. She knew there were fresh linens in the wooden hope chest at its foot. She'd taken a few with her last time she was here. She made up the antique iron bed with fresh sheets and a blanket. She wasn't passing up the opportunity to sleep in a real bed. She kept straightening the room. She couldn't help herself. She picked up the overturned rocking chair, aligned the bedside tables and gathered up the broken lamp, scattered books, papers and odd items of clothing, putting them in a pile in the corner. There were plenty of candles all over the house. The family had evidently tried to last without electricity for a while. Danni arranged a couple on each nightstand and the dresser against the far wall. She pulled the curtains open and looked outside as the rain began to fall gently at first then it beat against the glass as if it were angry.
"It ain't your house." Daryl's voice came from behind her. He'd watched her from the doorway for the past few minutes without her noticing.
"I know." She turned her head toward him and sounded almost defensive.
.. ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. . . . . . .
She headed to the sitting room where she'd found the pictures and Sophia had first seen the lady. She sat on the settee and waited.
"Look what I found in the kitchen. Daryl said holding up an unopened bottle of Wild Turkey as he turned the corner. "Wonder why we didn't notice last time."
"We were in a hurry then. Hey, don't get too-"
"I know, I'll stay ready. Don't worry 'bout me." He added "Sorry you can't. Never drank with you before."
"You wouldn't want to. I'm a mean drunk and all I wanna do is fight. I have some stories..." I don't miss it one bit. Seems like a million years ago.
Daryl leaned against the door frame watching her. "I wanna hear those."
"Maybe someday. Hey, thanks for doing this." She said.
He shrugged. "I'm gonna check all the doors and windows again, secure 'em, nothing will get in while we're here." Before he left, he added, "Maybe she'll talk to you without me around?" He said it earnestly. She loved him so much.
Danni stood and wandered to a wall of bookshelves. She ran her fingers over the dusty spines. Some old, hardcover classics, Dickens, to Faulkner to Hemingway. History books and some newer modern books too. The Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings series. Quite a variety. She guessed this house had been in the same family since it was built. The last generation seemed to be collectors of antiques and cared about family heirlooms. A title near the older antique hardcovers caught her eye. The Complete Book of Fortune Telling. She pulled it from the shelf and carefully opened the leather-bound book, its pages were yellowed and fragile with age. Printed in 1860. Inside the front cover was a name written in formal script, Lorelei MacGowan.
Lorelei was the name Daryl was saying in his sleep. Instead of feeling afraid, Danni felt she was on the right track somehow. She flipped through the pages and let her finger stop randomly to read a message from a 100+-year-old fortune-telling book.
The page she stopped at said. "Good fortune surrounds you. Have courage and faith for it is time to move boldly into your life's destiny. Take the reigns."
She smiled. It was like a fortune cookie. Then she felt something taped inside the back cover. It was a key. It was not the shape or size of a door key. It looked like the key to a box or a trunk. Where would someone keep a treasure chest? The attic, right?
... ... .. . .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
Fading daylight streamed through the dusty windows gray and dim so as Daryl walked ahead of her he used the light on his crossbow to move through the cluttered, dusty attic. Unused furniture, paintings, and boxes cluttered the space beneath the rafters. They stumbled, climbed over and squeezed by the forgotten items of domesticity. The rain drummed on the roof, and the rustling and scratching of mice in the walls and raccoons and possibly squirrels in the eaves made Daryl want shoot something.
Finally in the northwest corner of the attic his light shone on an old wooden trunk with a key hole on its latch. She held the crossbow while he carried the wooden box down to the sitting room.
When she pushed the lid up, the trunk emitted a musty odor but it was mixed with that gardenia smell. Daryl lay stretched out on the couch half paying attention, while she sat on the floor in front of it, carefully going through the contents. A leather-bound journal, a pile of yellowing hand written letters wrapped in blue ribbon, an antique blue crystal bottle of perfume. Gardenia perfume. She smelled the scent that had followed her through the prison. Underneath was A gray Confederate soldiers uniform, cleaned, but faded blood stains remained. There was a bullet hole in the left breast pocket. Danni fingered it gently feeling something stiff inside the pocket. She removed a tintype; it was the lady, her image tattered, burned and pierced by same bullet sharing the hole with the pocket. "Are you Lorelei?" She whispered.
She lay the uniform jacket aside and found the bottom of the trunk covered by a folded Confederate flag and an official looking envelope. Inside was a soldier's regiment roll card.
Dixon, John
REGIMENT NAME:
59th Regiment, Georgia Infantry
SIDE:
Confederate
COMPANY:
C
SOLDIER'S RANK IN:
Private
SOLDIER'S RANK OUT:
Private/killed at Chickamauga, Georgia 1864
ALTERNATE NAME:
John/Dickson
Danni's hands shook. What the fu..?
Folded beneath was an obviously pre-written letter from General Robert E Lee to the family with John Dixon Private in the blank space. It was not really a death notice, but a letter of apology, saying their boy died heroically in the battle of Chickamauga September 20, 1864.
"Daryl." She whispered.
He leaned forward. "What, you okay?"
She held out the papers to him. He sat back on the couch behind where she was on the floor by the trunk. He studied them, then handed them back to her. He didn't look surprised or shocked.
She did, her eyes were wide waiting for him to say something.
"You know how many Dixons been in Georgia?" He finally explained. "The chance there's any relation to me is slim to none."
"But, what are the odds of...isn't this a little...why aren't you reacting to this?"
"Because even if this guy is my great- great whatever, there's nothing I can do about it. It don't matter to me. It's not changing anything right now."
"It's not making you feel weird at all?"
He sighed. "All right fine. I had a dream, two I guess. About the war." " He considered that thing in the woods a dream. "You watched me die in one."
"Did you call me Lorelei?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Because that's her name."
He didn't say anything.
"Why are we here, why did I find all this stuff?" Danni shook her head. "She wanted me to. Lorelei. Sophia told me something the other night. She said the lady is me. So you still don't believe in reincarnation, huh?"
"Are you saying-"
"We are them."
"What if we are?"
She wasn't sure what to say. What did it mean?
He shook his head. "Nothing to say? I'll say it then, it don't change nothing for us." He repeated what had become his mantra.
Danni wasn't sure if she could take anymore but suddenly gardenia filled the room and she felt cold. Something compelled her to read the first letter in the stack out loud.
"Lorelei, If our worst fear occurs and I do not return, know I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. If the dead can come back to this earth as you have made me believe they can, I honor our vow and I will always be near you; in bright days and in the dark nights. If there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, or if the cool air fans you, it shall be my spirit passing by. Lorelei, do not mourn me dead, wait for me, we shall meet again. If I must I will watch you from the spirit land while you bear life's storms with your strength and will, and wait with sad patience till we meet and part no more.
John"
Danni finished the letter with shaking hands. She felt light-headed and let the papers fall to the floor. She glanced at Daryl expectantly. How can he look skeptical?
"Nice story, but all I know is this life, what I gotta do to survive, keep us safe today, tomorrow." He stood up. "What you found, is it gonna set something right?"
"I think so. Don't you care?"
"For your sake, yeah. I want you to be settled with all this. But, we still gotta go on that run, get back to the prison."
"I wish we could stay here." She said a little wistfully.
"We can't. I brought you here so you could fix whatever this is and end it. The we get back to normal. Our normal."
She nodded. "I just can't understand how you can be so unmoved."
"I know you can't. Look Danni, don't spend so much time thinking about other people's lives that you forget to live your own." His voice was thoughtful, softer and more hoarse than usual. She almost didn't hear it when he added, in an even lower tone, "We gotta get ready for our kids." He stood up. "Do what you gotta to. I'll be upstairs." He said with affection, supporting her in his own way. His words made her remember the Seven of Cups.
With the Seven of Cups, there is a risk of illusion. You need to separate what is real from what is an illusion. Protect yourself against unclear or wishful thinking and habitual daydreaming. Avoid escapism.
She hesitantly picked up the journal. The pages were water stained, ink had run from many of the passages but she made out some of Lorelei's words:
He says nothing to me, but I am told he is made happy by my presence.
She turned the page.
Finally kissing for hours underneath the sweet magnolia. I was too forward perhaps but all with good results.
She flipped through, continuing to look for readable sentences and paragraphs. It was all so random.
The men got their war. If I cannot be his wife, then I will be his widow. If he does not return, I will be his for all eternity bound by vows of forever. My nature refuses to allow me to stay here and do nothing while he remains in the throes of fighting. His letters tell me less as time passes. He is consumed and does not want to relay the horror to me. This is a fool's war. My daddy refuses to support it. He says the south is on the wrong side of history. Most of those who fight it do not even think to question. I do, but still, I leave for South Carolina in the morning with the local war aid nurses. Daddy worries and Mama weeps but know me too well to expect they could stop me. I will fight my own way, but fight for him. I will never surrender or back down from my fight or search.
Danni almost missed it. A small carved wooden box sat almost covered by the corner of the flag at the bottom of the trunk. She opened it to find two rings. One a man's heavy gold wedding band and a smaller delicate woman's version. She hesitated but slipped on the smaller ring. It fit perfectly. She felt almost shy and she quickly pulled it off and returned it to the box.
... ... .. ... .. .. ... ... .. .. ... .. .. .. .. .
The way he gently cradled the infant was so natural; like he'd done it a million times before.
Although the baby was swaddled in a blanket, warm against the cell block's constant chill, Daryl insisted on wrapping one of his flannel shirts around her too. "You like that, huh?" he asked with tenderness as the baby sucked contentedly on the bottle he held. Pacing back and forth slowly, he kept looking up at Danni with an expectant, proud smile. "Like that, little troublemaker?" He raised his eyebrows at her and she nodded. He gazed back down. "You like that sweetheart? Yeah, course you do. Daddy's got ya, I got ya."
Every face from Rick to Herschel to Andrea and Glenn had the same look of amused but tender, disbelief. Only Carol wore a knowing smile. Danni held and tried to soothe their fussy son, but stood up ready to trade with Daryl, who could settle both babies down almost effortlessly.
"Yeah, that's my little girl, there you go." He handed her to Danni, who smiled tenderly at him as he took the boy, who'd started to cry loudly. "Your turn, come on little man. I got ya."
Danni rolled over and opened her eyes. She'd fallen asleep on the couch only half way through Lorelei's journal. The dream reflected his earlier words, We gotta get ready for our kids. He was going to be a really great dad. One of the good ones. She felt some kicking. They know it too.
She sleepily reviewed the day in her mind. She'd come here, found these things and she hoped put something in order for Lorelei. If she and Daryl were the reincarnated souls of these two people, she'd brought Lorelei to John.
"Is this enough? Is this what you wanted me to do?" Danni asked aloud. "To know you and bring you two together?"
Only silence answered her, but she realized she was no longer cold.
She moved to the window. The rain streaming down the panes and the blackness of the night beyond prevented Danni from seeing anything but her own reflection. Her vision became hazy. When it cleared the image staring back from the window was the lady; it was Lorelei. She was smiling. Behind her John appeared looking so much like Daryl, she did a double take. He was in his uniform free of bloodstains, he protectively put his hands on Lorelei's shoulders and nodded the way Daryl did. Danni was frozen and didn't dare turn.
"Thank you for giving us back to each other."
She heard the woman's voice loud and clear. Danni opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out. The images faded from the window pane until only she remained staring into her own eyes. Where she had felt such a chill for so long of late, she now felt a comforting warmth surge through her, from head to toe.
Daryl was right, they had a lot more of their own living to do. He could always ground her; he kept her from falling away from herself, from this world.
... ... .. .. ... .. .. .. .. .. ... .
He sat on the bed, cross-legged leaning back against the iron scroll of the frame, watching her enter. She stopped to let her eyes adjust to the dim light. He slowly tilted his chin back giving her a slight grin, one corner of his mouth drawing up.
"Finish all them letters?" He smiled. The light from the candle made his skin glow and his crystal blue eyes twinkled even more than usual.
"Are you drunk?" She asked amused.
"No." He tried to take on his hard, serious expression, but his eyes gave him away.
Every time she looked at him she fell in love again.
"Yes, you are." She sat beside him. "You're smiling too much not to be."
"Not drunk, just drinking." He took another swig from the bottle feeling more relaxed with every shot.
"You aren't gonna come down with whiskey dick on me tonight?" she teased. "You do know when a man is drunk he either can't get it up or can't get it down. And there is no in between."
"Be good for you if I was then, bet I'd last hours."
Danni laughed, surprised. She knew he must be a little drunk to say that. "Oh really? it can go the other way too you know. It is rampant among rock musicians, I can't tell you how many-"
He grabbed her, pushed her under him and gruffly breathed in her face "I love when you talk when you tell me to fuck you, tell me to come, I love it. Every goddamn sound you make."
He was buzzed. She had to admit, she liked his forcefulness; it was different and made her stomach flip in anticipation; she trembled a little.
"Say it now.'
She shook her head teasingly while she smiled against his mouth.
They lay together on a bed, in a house that in another life, another time could have offered a normalcy they'd never know together. Life now was not so simple, there were no more houses with white picket fences. It was hard to explain the sadness she felt when they were in a situation that echoed the reality of life before Walkers. She missed something they never had. These brief stolen moments of mundane life were hard. Is it worse to have a thing and lose it or never have a thing at all? Danni also knew they'd never have found each other back then, before, when life was ordinary. As the sadness came over her, she noticed his scent and she breathed in deeply, willing herself not to close her eyes. Not to answer him or reach for him. He was too drunk for this. She forced herself to wait, even though the ache and her sadness made her want him more. He was her cure for it. Keep your hands to yourself, girl. Daryl smelled like no other guy she'd ever met, an intoxicating combination of leather, acrid fresh dirt, sweet grass, salty sweat, lately cigarettes and right now whiskey. It was the smell that comforted her the most, helped her sleep, calmed her fears.
"Say it." he growled in her ear interrupting her thoughts and trying to break her down.
"You're wasted, let's wait."
As if to show her he wasn't, he pulled her back up and moved on to his knees, He reached out and wrapped his fingers gently around her wrist so he could feel her pulse racing. He looked down into her eyes.
"Just havin' some fun." He said.
"Okay then." She answered as she pulled his thumb into her mouth and closed her lips around it. His next breath caught in his lungs and he could feel the blood pounding in his ears and elsewhere, liquor or no liquor.
She ran her tongue over his thumb and pulled softly backward as she let it slide out from between her lips feeling the roughly chewed skin of his cuticle. He looked down at her face. God, she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Her eyes were closed and her cheeks were flushed.
He pressed his hands on her knees and she slid hers up to his shoulders. His mouth was warm against hers and as they kissed her lips opened more and his tongue moved slowly, but deliberately; she tasted whiskey and smelled it on his hot breath. He was looser with her but more urgent and he definitely wasn't having difficulty with his erection; she felt it digging into her thigh. She sighed softly as he slid his hands up to her hips then around her back pressing firmly against her spine. She dropped her head back tossing her hair away, exposing her neck. His lips moved down, tenderly kissing a line from her shoulder to just under her ear. He could feel her nails digging into his arms, her breathing quickened and he heard "Daryl," her voice a raspy whisper. They were both on their knees now. She opened her eyes halfway as he drew away to look at her. His hands moved slowly under her shirt, her smooth skin hot to his touch. He pulled it off and unbuttoned his own, wanting her bare flesh against his. She pushed his shirt off and pressed against him while reaching her hands up to the back of his neck, and pulling his lips towards her own. "I'm begging you." She whispered. "Fuck me before I start crying."
"What?"
It was too late, tears started to fall. She shook her head "I read her journal, they only had one night, their wedding night, and he had to leave and then she found him, but he was dead and I-"
He kissed and licked the tears from her cheeks. "If everything you've been saying is true then it looks like they're having a second chance right now. Let's make it good for 'em, huh?"
"You believe me?" she asked into his mouth as it covered hers. He supposed he believed everything she ever said and always would, but he'd keep her grounded.
"Fuck me. Please." Fix me, please. She said as he rushed to remove the rest of her clothing.
Her hands struggled to remain on his sweaty back, likewise for her weakening legs that were scissored around his midriff. He had to arch his back a little. The missionary position was getting a little more difficult for them. This might be one of the last times she could enjoy her favorite most intimate way to fuck. Every time he thrust her heels would dig into his back, and the tell-tale sign that he was about to get her off arrived when her toes curled inward.
All of her senses, with the exception of touch, diminished into the background. Gone was Daryl's labored breathing, his delicious smell of whiskey and leather, the pitter patter of rain, and the monotonous, overly obvious we-are-fucking creak of the bed. Danni focused on little else other than the scorching white heat pulsing between her thighs.
Still pressed cheek-to-cheek, her soft whimpers flowed directly into Daryl's ear, seeming to spur him on. He was so close to finishing her off he began to think about his own release.
"Can't last much longer..." he rasped, although his voice was somewhat distant and barely registered.
"Thought you were gonna go forever." She whispered teasingly.
Convulsions suddenly afflicted her lower body, jarring her hips against Daryl's with his every downward thrust. A low, guttural mewling clawed its way up her throat and fell from her raw from kissing lips, which became stifled when she pressed her mouth to Daryl's neck. She proceeded to nip at his flesh, giving him a couple of well-aimed love bites.
"Yes, it's now..." she was almost crying, losing control and letting her need for release reign. Nothing but the aching pleasure rolling through her groin registered.
With her eyes screwed tightly shut and her husky swears filling the room, Danni's body went into spasms. She jerked and writhed up against Daryl's slippery torso until finally, having spent almost every ounce of energy available in her sex-addled body she managed a final gasp and unceremoniously collapsed to the mattress.
Still trembling slightly from the minor aftershocks of her powerful climax, Danni eased open her eyes and gazed up at Daryl's face. "Hi," she smiled, ruffling his messy hair with one hand while affectionately stroking his cheek with the other.
"Hi yourself," he moaned. His brow was etched in deep concentration and covered in a light sheen of sweat.
Although sated by her mind-numbing orgasm, she was content to allow him continued unlimited access. The empty void within both her heart and soul continued to be obliterated by Daryl giving her physical completion.
She snatched up a handful of his damp locks and pulled his mouth down to hers. At first his lips were notably hard, but after a full minute of wet, soulful kissing, Danni managed to soften them up.
The movement of his hips suddenly became erratic, haphazardly grinding into her with a clumsy urgency that saw his thrusts fall out of rhythm.
She took his face in her hands and encouraged him to tear his trembling lips away from hers. "Baby," she said, offering him a peculiar smile, "I want you to go right ahead and fuck me until you come hard in me, real hard." Knowing her cussing would do some significant damage to the tenuous grip Daryl had on his orgasm. "Please fuck me hard."
An anguished moan preceded the simultaneous tension of every muscle in his body; including the one between his legs. Moments later, after slamming his entire length into her, canceling his ritual of retreating until only the tip remained embedded, Daryl shuddered violently in her arms as she clenched in anticipation.
"That's it, go ahead," she sighed, planting a delicate kiss on his mouth.
Proving to be the epitome of obedience, seconds later he did. He jerked against her steely embrace, emitting a satisfied, "Aw Jesus Christ, fuck... Danni..."
Then, silence descended on them like a swooping bat, and once he'd moved off her he opened his eyes and gazed at her. Her own beautiful, now green eyes started to glisten, eventually spilling tears from the corners which tracked wet pathways down her cheeks.
All he could do was hold her.
They listened to the rain beat against the window. Occasionally they would kiss or touch one another, but mostly they lay there in a contemplative hush looking into the other's eyes. As usual, verbally describing what had taken place would only serve to demean the emotion behind it. Mere words were inadequate. Their truth could only be expressed in a look, touch or kiss. He realized it was the only time she actually stopped talking. The only time she wasn't going on and on about something or other. He would have laughed but then she'd ask him why and he really just wanted her to stay quiet.
The silence was eventually broken by of all things, Daryl, as he said, "I gotta take a piss."
Danni kissed him tenderly. "Hurry up."
"Yeah," he said, slipping from between her thighs and kneeling in front of her.
Her sleek legs trembled as he hesitated a minute to admire the view.
Now realizing how different her pregnant body must look to him, she began lacking self-confidence; having previously been able to shed her insecurities with her intense desire for him.
For the first time, Danni struggled with the temptation to cover up her body. She started to pull the blanket.
"You cold?" he asked with a frown.
"No, I'm just embarrassed, that's all."
"About what?" he asked, apparently perplexed.
A heated blush ignited in her cheeks, and for the first time ever she had to avert her gaze. "My body," she whispered, nervously tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ears.
Daryl padded along the mattress on all fours until he was beside her laying a gentle hand on her belly.
"It's not, I'm not..." she began, knowing her navel ring would need to come out soon, the sparrows were becoming stretched and hidden by her expanding middle. She knew how much he liked those things. And to top it all off it was getting harder to have him on top and that's how they liked it best.
"Stop." He said.
"It's just that I look so-"
"Shut up." He said with affection.
She knew it was his way of telling her she was beautiful no matter what.
... ... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... .. .
They slept late the next morning and spent the day lounging in bed, needing the rest. They pressed against one another their heads sharing the same pillow. Talk often centered on the babies, what they'd be like who they'd take after.
"I think she'll be a daddy's girl."
"Yeah? Merle said I ain't daddy material. Neither is he, we weren't raised right for it."
"Daryl you're gonna be a good father." She turned on her side to face him. "I never wanted kids before. I always said it was because I didn't want the parenting lifestyle, I am not domestic or my career was more important. Stuff like that. The truth is, I was afraid I'd be like my mother. I'd have no idea what to do with a kid, a baby. I'd be just as horrible as my mother. Daryl, I hate my mother." It felt right to say it.
He nodded. "You'll be a good mom. Don't worry. Sounds like that Nana of yours showed you something. Look at you with Sophia and Carl."
"You too." She went on. "Because the troublemakers are yours, I wouldn't want to change anything. Even with the world the way it is, I wouldn't change being pregnant. I wouldn't even want to have the world back the way it was if it meant I wouldn't be with you."
"Yeah?" He asked, knowing he felt that way, but moved that she'd actually said those words to him. They continued to reveal and revisit fears and reassured each other that they'd be the best parents they could.
"We haven't talked about names yet." She mentioned.
"Figure you already have them picked out."
"What? No, we have to do it together."
"You do though, don't ya?" He asked, smiling knowingly up at the ceiling.
"Well..."
Day melted into the night, and still the rain descended from the heavens like it was attempting to cleanse the world. He caressed the back of her neck with his rough hands.
"Forever," she murmured. "I want you to stay here with me forever." She knew that when morning arrived, they needed to head back. Get the supplies and return to their life.
He drank more from the bottle of whiskey on the bedside table as they lay together talking. It was unlike him, but maybe this was a sort of honeymoon after all. He didn't get sloppy drunk or overly talkative so much as his body lost its tension, he was looser and actually seemed to relax. They made love that night, their bodies sliding together in a perfect fit. The soft amber glow from the bedside candles illuminated everything she needed to see. Daryl loved her with every fiber of his being, he moved in and out of her with such a restrained rhythm that he probably wouldn't climax for hours. It was his idea to challenge himself and that saying of hers to see just how long could last. She didn't argue. She'd repeated to him that if he could still get it up after drinking as much as he had, he was likely not to be able to get it down for a while. She was right.
Two orgasms later and with a third hovering just beyond the horizon, Danni noticed the candles' flames jumping and leaping wildly and smelled gardenia. She knew she'd put things in order.
... ... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. . .. .. .. .. .. .
Calm, clear skies ushered in the morning as rain moved out and the sun took over. Daryl had put their backpacks in the explorer. "That it?" He asked joining her on the front porch, wondering if she was thinking about bringing that whole trunk with her.
"Yeah." They stood taking a minute to look out at the fields behind the wooden rail fence. She had folded the letters and pictures into the old journal and secured them with the bottle of perfume in her backpack earlier.
"Would you do something for me?" For me and for her. This is my life after all."
He waited.
She took his left hand and slid the thick gold band onto his ring finger. It fit perfectly. "Wear this forever." She put the smaller more delicate ring on her own finger also like it was made for her.
He had a lump in his throat. "Where? Are these-"
"Theirs? Yeah, but now ours. Its okay." Her brow was furrowed.
She felt the ring on her finger and hoped she'd done enough. Her life was calling now. She had to put her family first. They were waiting back at the prison.
With the Seven of Cups, there is a risk of illusion. You need to separate what is real from what is an illusion. She had no illusions about her future anymore.
... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
"So my brother and little queenie here huh? Well, well well. Fry me in butter and call me a catfish."
"Glenn tell you?" Danni asked.
"I never thought Daryl'd have the balls to make a move on you darlin'." Merle started laughing loudly. "Never!" He began to get carried away. After a few more guffaws, he composed himself. "I'm proud of him though, don't get me wrong. Now, if it were up to me I'd have gone for that sweet little blonde thing, but my baby brother's always been a little different."
Danni rolled her eyes. He caught it.
"You know I'm the only thing standing between you and some pretty hard ass men on the other side of that door right?"
She nodded. "Thanks."
"I ain't doin' this for you queenie. I'm doing it for Daryl. Let's get that straight right now."
He pushed her back against the wall roughly.
"Watch it, I'm pregnant!" she hissed in his face.
Merle's eyed widened and he stepped back. "You're...?" Under his breath, he said, "Damn Daryl." After a pause, he asked, "Is it his?"
"What the fuck do you think?"
"I don't know you, what kinda gal you are. As I recall, there were other men in that Atlanta group. Officer Rick, that other cop buddy of his, who else? You coulda been running around all over on my brother."
"It's his."
"Enough chit chatting." He almost seemed flustered, but only for a second. "If I'm gonna get you out of here we gotta make this look good. Now I ain t gonna hurt you much. And not..." He looked down at her stomach covered by the oversized sweatshirt. "Don't worry 'bout that."
She understood and nodded. "Okay hit me." She tilted her face up.
"I ain't messin' up those green eyes. Bet my brother likes looking in your pretty eyes." Then he struck a blow on the lower side of her face, his knuckles cutting her lips leaving angry red abrasions on her cheek. He repeated it on the other side.
"Sorry, honey."
She shook her head and got her bearings, the taste of blood filling her mouth. She spat out red saliva. "My turn?"
"Hell yeah, darlin' take your best shot. Be good if you leave some scratches too. "
No problem, Danni thought. No problem at all.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa it's me!"
Danni awoke to find Daryl holding her arm back, preventing her from beating him across the face.
"Huh?"
She was in the passenger seat of the SUV. The engine was off.
"We're here." He said. She still looked out of it. "Remind me never to wake you up again. Dream?"
"One of my old ones."
"No lady shit?"
"No, no lady shit." She smiled weakly, feeling queasy.
Just some Merle shit starting up again.