That night, I ignore the address given to me by Snow. This night might be my last with Annie, and I can not bear to lose it.
No matter what the consequences.
I take her into my arms, and we sit there, on the couch, like this, for the longest time. Neither of us willing to give up the other. Neither of us willing to let go. Finally, I whisper that she should try to get some sleep, but I know that it is useless. It is then that I remember something.
The roof.
I take her hand and lead her to the door I found when I myself was a tribute. At first I thought it was just a closet, but curiosity got the better of me, and I opened it to find a staircase. Of course, I followed it.
It led to the top of the training Centre. A roof surrounded by a force field. I learned about the force field the hard way. I wanted to sit on the ledge of the roof, look out over the Capitol. I wasn't planning on jumping. Or at least, I tell myself that. But I know that I wouldn't have. Suicide is as bad as murder, really. Murder of yourself.
So I reached up to hoist myself on the ledge, and instead found myself enveloped in electric current. It was one of the most painful things I have ever experienced, which is saying a lot when it comes to my childhood. But it took me away from the pain for a moment, for the thoughts of the day to come. The rooftop is like a sanctuary, in a way.
As we climb out onto it, hand in hand, she gives a small gasp. It is beautiful up here. Gardens, benches, wind chimes. Like a small sanctuary.
I lead her to a bench, and we sit, once again enveloped in each others arms. I stroke her hair and whisper soothing words to her, and let her cry. I don't cry. I surprise myself really, by the strength that I show her when she needs it most.
She falls asleep in my arms. I don't sleep. I just cradle her for hours, until the gray light of dawn begins to touch the horizon, and I know it is time to go. I wake her up, gently, and lead her back downstairs. An avox waits for her, and leads her back up to the roof. She could have jut stayed there, really. I forgot the hovercraft takes them from the roof.
Tears prick my eyes when she is taken from me. I give her hand a squeeze.
"Stay alive." I whisper," I need you."
Her eyes are free from tears, having cried herself out the night before.
"I will." she promises. And she grabs my left hand with her own and raises her right.
Then she is gone.
And I am left alone.
-/\-
I sit there for a few minutes. I don't cry. I can't. Instead, I force myself up. I am her mentor. It is my job to keep her alive. And I can't do that without sponsors.
I am about to leave the room when I feel a touch on my shoulder. Mags.
"We're in this together, right?" she whispers.
I feel a sudden release of weight from my shoulders.
"Together." I respond. And we head out side by side.
We have barely reached the lower level when I see him. The President. I had forgotten that I had disobeyed him last night. Hopefully he has not found out the reason. I see now the stupidity of my actions, how silly it was for me to put Annie in an even more dangerous situation than she was already in. He comes towards me, and gestures to a small side room. Mags gives my hand a squeeze, and then leaves. She knows what to do. She can work on sponsors without me there.
The President sits down on a chair, and gestures to another in front of him. It feels odd to be this close, with nothing, not a table or a desk, separating the two of us. His face is filled with anger.
"You did not show up at your required destination last evening." His words are barely a whisper, but have the strength of a snake ready to strike.
"I'm sorry." My head lowers automatically.
"What were you thinking, Finnick?"
I don't respond.
He lashes out then, backhanded me across the face. For an older man, he has strength in him. But it is not so much the force as it is the meaning that makes me wince.
"You are a fool, Odair."
"I know," is all I can think to say. I am, after all.
"Why did you do it?"
So he doesn't know. Or he is playing with me. I play it safe.
"I needed a night. To think. To come up with a strategy," I respond.
"That is what Mags is here for. Do you think you are here to mentor tributes, Finnick? Of course not. You are here for the citizens of the Capitol. You are worthless to me as anything else. And do you know what happens when someone becomes worthless to me?"
I nod slowly. My breathing had become labored.
"We had a deal. You have broken that deal. That forces me to respond. Punishment for disobedience," Snow states calmly," Look at me."
I slowly raise my eyes to meet his. His hand reaches out and gently caresses my face. A touch so different from his last. And more painful.
"But we can not afford to ruin the body of Finnick Odair, now can we? It takes to long to heal. We need someone else. Something that will hurt him more, don't we."
So he does know. He must.
"Who do we have that Finnick Odair loves? Hmmm?" His voice sickens me.
Then he stands up," I know the truth, Finnick. But a threat is as good as an action. Don't fail me."
Then he is gone.
And I know what he meant. She will enter the arena in a few hours. Then, all they must do is place her in a situation where her death is unavoidable. No one will no. No one will care.
No one except me.
I know now that I have no choice. I love Annie. It is a dangerous love, and I was a fool in how I played it out. But I love her, and Snow knows it. He has also promised, in his own way, not to hurt her if I do what I am told from now on. But he threatened to kill her if I fail.
I know that I can not fail.
I leave the room and find Mags standing there. So she didn't go to begin conversations with sponsors after all. Somehow I am thankful. I need to be there. To beg, plead if need be. To keep Annie alive.
Mags asks no questions. But I tell her anyway.
"I didn't go last night. He knows the truth."
Mags quick intake of breath confirms my suspicions. She glares at me," What were you thinking, Finnick?"
"I wasn't," I respond," But I don't need a lecture right now, Mags. A personal death threat to Annie from Snow is enough to take in."
She doesn't drop her gaze, or apologize,"You want to keep her alive, but then you go and do something stupid like that. She will never be safe, now, Finnick. And you just made it ten thousand times harder to get her out of there alive."
"I said I don't need a lecture Mags."
"I know what you said. But there are times when..."
"Shut UP, Mags." I know she is right. I know I was wrong. And I know responding to her like that is awful. But I can't help it.
Her eyes reflect hurt, but she doesn't say anything else, and we walk in silence. I feel awful already, and now guilt for hurting her is placed on top of my shoulders as well. How many people will I injure with my lack of sense?
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." My voice is barely above a whisper when I speak the words, but I know she heard me. And if I speak anymore, or any louder, I am certain I will start to cry. And I can't do that now. A mentor in tears is a mentor who is weak, who has given up hope. A Finnick Odair in tears is even worse. No one will sponsor her if I can't control my emotions.
And sponsors are just about her only hope now.
-/\-
Mags and I spend the rest of the morning speaking with sponsors, and are able to seal a deal with a few. They seem very interested in helping her, even if she only got a seven in training. By the time we pile into our assigned room to watch the beginning of the Games, I am feeling hopeful.
And hope, where there was once none, is a wonderful thing.
We sit down near the front of the theatre as they play back final interviews and look back at the last few days. I am happy to see that Annie gets more than her fair share of screen time. Trying to get the mermaid back to the sea has become almost a theme for the Games. Then, suddenly, we are in the arena. Not in it, of course, but watching it. I survey the scene quickly.
24 metal plates for the tributes to stand on. The rest of the arena seems divided into a few sections. They do this sometimes, rather than having just one playing field. There is a small wooded forest, and then beside that a meadow. Then there is a large lake, with some kind of rock in the middle. Next to that there is a plain with cactus and tumbleweeds, and beside that a frozen wasteland. In the back ground is one large peak. A mountain, perhaps, or a volcano. There may be other sectors that the camera is not showing, or that I can't see. But what the audience is shown will keep them enthralled.
This is going to be a Games to remember.
After a few minutes of showing off the arena, the tops of the metal plates open, and for a moment nothing happens. Then the heads, torsos, legs, and feet of the tributes appear, as they are lifted up from an underground fortress below. The sixty second countdown begins.
I search for Annie, and find her on a plate in the middle of the boy from nine and the girl from two. She is facing the lake and the mountain, with the desert and ice behind her. They want the mermaid facing the water.
Her face is hard to read, which is not the best, but better than fear. No sponsor wants to see fear, especially not in this first moment. I countdown softly with the clock. 10 seconds, 9, 8, 7...
I see her tense herself and move into position. I realize I have not even surveyed the Cornucopia yet, and do a quick once over.
There is nothing in between the horn and the tributes. All the goods are piled in a small circle around it. They want to draw them in, rather than have them grab something and take off.
I want to tell Annie to run, but we already discussed her strategy. She is with the Careers. She is to make for a trident, or whatever weapon is closest to her. The other tributes will probably avoid her, or even better, avoid the Cornucopia altogether, and leave the goods for the Careers.
The gong rings, and she runs toward the horn. Other close in and reach it before her. The boy from eleven, a tall, yet skinny kid, grabs a knife and tosses it at her. She spins away and runs in the other direction. Thorn, the boy from one, sneaks up behind him with a sword and finishes him off. It is difficult to watch. Annie has found her way to the top of the horn now, climbing over the goods, and has gotten her hands on a black trident near the top. Her face contorts when she touches it, as though she is not sure what to do.
But she picks it up and tests it in her hands. That is a good sign, at least.
The blood bath is in full force below her, but she waits at the top, not wanting to get involved. No one wants to climb up to get her and risk their own demise.
The boy from twelve foolishly entered the fight, trying to get his hands on a back pack. He had reached it, and was on his way out, when Thistle's knife took him in the back. She winced, strange for a Career, and turned back to the fight.
You have to do what you have to do. There can only be one winner. But I understand her entirely. It broke my heart, each kill. I almost lost it, one time. That was when I got my trident, and the games were basically over.
The girls from twelve and eleven, both from ten, the girl from nine, and both from eight took off immediately, without attempting the Cornucopia. The two from seven went in together. The boy was killed while reaching for a loaf of bread. The girl made it out with a backpack and a knife. The two from six were killed before they made it to the horn. The boy from five got his hands on a bow, to backpacks, and a sleeping bag, and made it out unharmed. The girl foolishly tried to climb the horn as well, and was killed by Nolan. I remember him then, for the first time. He is holding another trident, a blue one, and has a knife in his other hand. The fighting stops now, and I survey the scene.
The six Careers are all alive. Thorn, Thistle, Drum, Blossom, Nolan, and Annie. The boy from three is lying dead on the ground, having been taken down while the cameras were elsewhere.
Suddenly, from around the Cornucopia, the girl from three lunges at the Careers. It is a stupid move, and the crowd in the theatre gasps. But she is a fighter this one. She has a long knife in her right hand, and an axe in her left. The surprise attack was foolish, but she takes down Drum, the boy from 2, before they have time to reestablish themselves. Blossom, his district partner, stands stunned for a moment, before taking the girl on herself. She gets a knife in the shoulder, and steps back, stunned. I don't even know the girl from three's name, but she is obviously a force to be reckoned with. Blossom pulls the knife from her shoulder, and I see that Nolan has darted around the Horn to take the girl from three from the other side. But Thorn gets there first, sinking a knife into her temple. She crumples to the ground, but her death is not unsung. Anyone who kills a Career will be remembered.
Annie slides down the side of the Horn now, and helps Blossom bind her shoulder. Thorn glares at her, aggravated that she just stood there and didn't help. She gives him an innocent smile, and holds up the trident.
"I was just getting this. After that, I didn't want to get in the way. You had it all under control."
This pacify's him. She's smart, that girl.
I take a moment to appraise them now. Thorn is tough and strong, largely built. He is capable with a knife and sword, and possibly a bow, as he has a sheaf strapped over his shoulder, with one attached. Thistle is small, but accurate with a knife. Blossom I am not sure about. Nolan is capable, but I know he will not turn on Annie without a reason. They are all wearing the same outfit, though the styles vary slightly between the males and females. The boys wear loose fitting black pants, black leather boots, and a black jacket that falls to their waist. The girls are clad in tight black pants, almost like leggings, black leather boots, and jackets that fall to a few inches above their knees. The only differences are in the hair styles. Thistle's black hair is back in a tight bun. Blossom's blond curls fall softly over her shoulders, seemingly unaffected by the recent battle. Annie's is in two braids down the sides of her head.
She looks beautiful.
I catch myself off guard. I should be worrying about keeping her alive, not what she looks like.
Thorn takes charge immediately, and the five Careers begin preparing a camp area. They piles their supplies inside the Cornucopia, and wrap some type of netting along the entrance. Then they enter the woods, and the camera switches to another fight between the tributes from six, and the boy from nine. I don't stay to watch. I have work to do.
The real Game has just begun.