I want to spend the rest of the day here, with Johanna, because somehow when I am with her, life seems so much simpler. Her rebellious spirit and attitude has always been just what I need to cheer me up. But, I haven't seen Annie in almost two days, and I doubt that she is very happy with me. She will be even less so if she finds out I spent the day here instead of with her. So, I tell Johanna I have to go, and she doesn't question it.

Like I said, she pretty much understands me better than anyone.

It takes me a while to track down Annie. She apparently hasn't been seen much by anyone in the past few days. Finally I spot Mags, who informs me that she was chatting with Annie just this morning, and she was planning on taking a walk down by the beach.

It isn't really a beach, of course. It's just a lake, and the Capitol has imported some sand and trees and seashells for the amusement of it's inhabitants. But, nonetheless, for Annie and I, it has always been a special place. A piece of home, really.

I consider walking, but take the bus instead, because it would take me close to an hour to walk there, and Annie may have left by that time. The bus ride takes only about ten minutes, with a few stops to let people on and off. When I get off, I go to pay and realize it is the same bus driver I had a few days before. I was to lost in thought to notice when I got on. He waves away my money, and when I depart the bus I realize that I was right. He has had someone paint a large mural of my face and trident on his bus. No wonder it is far busier than it was a few days ago. Everyone wants to ride on a bus with my face painted on the side.

I find Annie sitting right at the waters edge. The beach is almost empty, which is surprising, due to the heat of the day. The I remember that is only just after 12, and after such an exciting Hunger Games, the majority of the Capitol's residents are probably still sound asleep. Which is fine by me.

Annie either doesn't notice me approach or doesn't acknowledge that she does. She is sitting so that only her toes and the front of her foot are being gently lapped by the water. It is quite calm this morning, with few waves.

I sit down beside her, but she still does not acknowledge my presence.

"Hey." I finally venture, confused as to her lack of talk.

She doesn't reply.

"I'm sorry I haven't seen you much lately." I apologize, hoping to sooth whatever is wrong.

"Haven't seen me much, or haven't even bothered to check on me?" She questions.

There is a bitterness in her tone that is so unlike her usual self that I can not speak myself for a moment. And when I do, my voice is a bit to harsh.

"Well, I'm sorry, okay? But you can't exactly blame me. I haven't been having the time of my life myself."

She looks at me then, for the first time,"Really? Mags seemed to think opposite when I saw her this morning. She said you hung around the lounge yesterday and spent a lot of time with Johanna. Don't tell me you didn't have any time for me."

I swallow. "Annie, you don't underst..."

She cuts me off," Don't tell me I don't understand. I do. I understand that you'd rather spend time with Johanna Mason and Haymitch Abernathy than you would with me. And if that's what you want to do with your time, then fine."

I am angry now,"Don't talk to me like that. You don't know what I go through every day. Every hour, every second of every day."

"I was a victor too, Finnick," she responds.

"But Snow hasn't treated your victory in the same way he has mine,"I counter.

She glares at me,"Well, maybe there's a reason. Maybe he knows that you don't mind it all to much."

This knocks the air out of my lungs, as much as any punch in the chest or fall could do. She realizes she has gone to far, and immediately counters.

"I'm sorry, Finn. I didn't mean that. I was just mad."

"Sure, Annie." I respond. I stand up,"I'll see you later."

I think she calls my name, tells me to come back. But I don't. Instead, I go back to my room in the training centre and sob until I have no more tears left. Because, when the person you love most in the world turns against you, no matter how meaningless their words were, you have nothing.

I hear a knock on my door about an hour later. I know who it is, though, so I don't bother getting up. But she comes in anyway, and I regret my forgetfulness in locking the door.

Annie sits on the foot of my bed, and I notice that there are tears in her own eyes. I am certain that my entire face is red, and I can feel the puffiness around my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Finn. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it. Really I didn't."

I don't look at her. But I realize something then. She has been doing so much better. Her panic attacks have grown less and less, and she has become almost her old self. I realize how quickly this will change when she realizes I am going back into the arena.

"Finnick, please," her voice cuts into my thoughts,"Please don't shut me out." She is begging now, and seems almost ready to cry again herself. "I want to help you, really."

"Well," I answer now," Fine job you did of that."

"I said I was sorry. I am. I didn't mean it, Finnick. I was just mad."

"Sure." I turn and stare directly into her eyes, stunned by how much they look like little gems floating in an ocean of blue. An ocean of tears. "Sometimes an apology doesn't fix everything, Annie."

But I know I am being unfair. I know I was wrong too, that I should have spent time with her. That she had a right to be angry, and that if I withhold forgiveness now I am being no better than her. I know how easy it is to speak a quick word in a moment of anger.

Her voice is almost a whisper now," I am so sorry Finn. Please forgive me. I can't live without you. I can't survive."

A pain hits me in the chest as I realize that she may have to learn to do so in only a years time. And I realize that it is stupid to waste even one moment being angry with her, when it is very possible that I will lose her and she will lose me very soon.

"I forgive you, Annie. I'm so sorry." I whisper,"Come here."

I hold out my arms to her, and she falls into them. We sit like that for a long time, not moving. Her head against my shoulder, my arms wrapper around her.

Then she raises her head, and her eyes are once again dry of tears.

"Do you have an address tonight?" she questions.

I nod slowly, pain welling up in my chest again, my heart beating fast.

She reaches up and gently brushes her hand against my face.

"Always know that I love you, Finnick. I couldn't live without you. You are everything in the world to me. Everything."

"I know." I tell her," And you are the only person in the world that I could ever love, Annie. You hold my heart and I will never let you go."

It's a lie, really, considering the circumstances. But right here, right now, it is the most truthful statement in the world.

"You have to talk to her." Annie tells me.

I have no idea what she is talking about.

"What?" I question.

"Katniss." Annie replies,"You know as well as I do that Snow won't be pleased with what she did. I'm sure she'd appreciate a warning."

I swallow hard, feeling awful now for keeping secrets from Annie. Honestly, I think talking to Katniss right now, or showing her friendship in any way would be the most foolish thing I could do.

"I don't think that would help the situation." I respond softly, not meeting her eyes, because I feel as though she would look into me and read my intentions and thoughts.

"Why not?" She questions, her voice betraying her confusion.

"She has a mentor,"I say,"I'm sure he will help her."

Annie laughs,"Haymitch? Really? That drunk old cook? I feel like he couldn't tell a rebellion from a walk in the meadow."

I shrug my shoulders,"Either way, I wouldn't be helping her by talking to her."

Annie gives me a strange look, but nods, trusting me.

Pain shoots though me again, bringing with it the knowledge that I do not deserve her trust. But I am grateful for it, because I am not ready to face her. Katniss. The girl who signifies so much, and brings with her both hope and despair. And, besides, it is so important that I play it right. That I make her trust me.

No, I am not yet ready to meet the girl on fire.

Annie looks at me now, as though she has thought of another question to ask, another reason why I need to warn Katniss of her impending doom.

But I don't let her.

Instead, I lean forward, and press my lips to her, kissing her deeply.

And I feel a stirring within my heart, that only Annie can bring. And I want, more than anything, to stay here with her. And then to marry her and go back to district four and live in peace.

Together.

But as we break apart, both our words unspoken and silenced, I realize that I will never have that chance. That I will never be able to teach my son how to fish, or take my daughter to the cave where I first met her mother. That I will never meet a child who is my own.

But instead of letting this drown me, or take the hope I have, I lean in for another kiss and pull Annie into my arms.