Danni felt the warmth of his body, the uncomfortable pinch of his knife holster digging into her thigh and his heart beating under her cheek. She opened her eyes and saw Daryl sleeping soundly. It wasn't a dream. She pulled his arm tighter around her shoulders. She was back with him. She sighed contentedly. She was tired but when she heard a small cry from one of her babies she suddenly felt a surge of adrenalin and love. She slipped from Daryl's embrace and carefully moved over him. Kiera was squirming and frowning in discomfort. Danni reached down for the warm bundle and felt an excited flutter in her chest. I am a mom. I'm really a mom.
Kiera was wet. OK, my first diaper change. How hard could it be? Daryl had changed them earlier.
She kneeled on the floor with Kiera on a blanket, between her thighs. Daryl had put together a cardboard box full of all the changing supplies. He had really been amazing. She took the package of baby wipes. She removed the wet diaper and cleaned her with a baby wipe. She opened a disposable diaper and casually slipped it under Kiera's tiny butt. Then she fastened the sides closed with the velcro.
Danni leaned back and admired her handiwork.
"It's backwards." Daryl observed from behind her. He'd woken when she stirred and watched her attempt to diaper their daughter.
"Lemme show you." He got down on his knees beside her. "You didn't use the powder neither." He commented after he removed the diaper.
"Aren't you just the expert?"
"Well, jeez you don't want her gettin' a rash."
"Okay, you got ahead of me. I'll catch up."
"Watch," he commanded as he wiped Kiera down with a baby wipe. She wiggled and made contented noises as he powdered her then slipped the diaper under her and folded up the sides securing them with the velcro strips. "Like that." He said proudly and picked her up. "Feel better now don't ya?"
Danni was speechless and bit down on her lip hard to stop the laughter. "Well, what are you waiting for. Ryder's next." She said smugly. "You got yourself the job."
"Uh uh, your turn. Let's see if you can get it."
"Fine. It's on."
After Danni had changed Ryder, the kids were hungry.
"So every four hours is 'bout when they eat and I change them." He said as she sat up in the bunk feeding the twins using a pillow to position them properly against her chest. She wasn't having any trouble getting them to feed.
"They don't cry much. Is that okay? I thought babies cried a lot." Daryl commented.
"I don't know. I hope so. I'll ask Lori."
She kissed each tiny head. "I remember once when I was a kid I found two orphan kittens. They were so young their eyes weren't even open. I bottle fed them for a month. It's kinda like that; every few hours I'd feed them and get them to go to the bathroom until they could do it all on their own. They were so helpless. Like these guys huh?" She stood and put them back on their little beds, their tummies full and eyes heavy, ready for sleep.
"They got us," Daryl replied.
Danni nodded and became thoughtful as she sat back down on the bed beside him.
"You know, one of us always has to be here right? No matter what. If anything ever happens...I don't want them to be without at least one parent. I can't have that." She sat beside him.
"Nothing's gonna happen." He moved to hug her, but she pulled back.
"How can you say that? We don't know from one day to the next."
He shook his head. "Nothing is gonna happen to us and they're gonna be fine."
"I just think we need a plan. You know so that if anything did happen and we were ever separated we'd know where to go; we'd know what to do."
"Dammit, Danni nothings gonna happen. It almost sounds like you want something to happen, the way you talk sometimes."
"Of course I don't. It's just we can't know for sure."
"I know for sure. And your dreams show us being okay, the kids growing up fine."
"Dreams aren't a guarantee."
"But you said-"
"You still have to make plans. Dreams show what happens, but they don't show how you get there. That's up to us. We still have to plan. Things happen that we don't have control over."
He was getting visibly upset. She added softly "No matter how hard you try you can't control everything Daryl."
"Think I can't take care of us? Is that it?"
This again? "No I am convinced you can, I have no doubt. I'm just saying it doesn't hurt to have a backup plan, to be safe that's all."
"Don't wanna talk about this. No need. We'll be okay. All of us."
"Fine." She snapped.
"Good."
She stood and headed out of the cell.
"Where you going?"
"I Have to pee. I can still walk to the bathroom by myself right?" Her tone was more annoyed than she meant. "I'll be fine, nothing's gonna happen to me right?" She immediately regretted snapping at him as she left the cell.
It wasn't yet dawn when Beth came to help Daryl with the 4 am feeding. "Where's Danni?" Beth's voice was a breathy whisper of concern when she entered the cell to find Daryl looking upset and the bunk empty. She couldn't help but think the worst. "Is she dead?"
"What? No. She woke up, she's fine." He sounded bewildered as he spoke the words aloud.
"Thank God! I'm glad. You must be relieved. But you look upset..."
He nodded and ran his hands through his hair. "She just sometimes she acts like she doesn' t think I can take care of her. Of them." He looked at the babies.
"What?"
"Yeah sometimes…the way she talks just-"
"She should appreciate you more. I'd never think that. The group wouldn't be here without you. We'd be weak without you. You're the bravest man I think I ever met." Beth approached and hugged him tight around his middle. Before he had a moment to react with surprise. She looked up, stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.
"Hey, am I interrupting something?" Danni asked keeping her tone light but feeling a wary twinge in her stomach. Daryl was letting Beth full out hold him. She hadn't missed the kiss either.
"Danni, hi, you're okay…" Beth cleared her throat and pulled back from Daryl. "I'm so happy. I'm here to help Daryl feed the babies. And change them too, she looked back up at him and smiled. He's getting really good at it." She giggled a little.
"Taught me everything I know." He said.
"Sweet.' Danni's smile was strained. "Thanks but I got it from here Beth."
"But it's time for them to eat, this is the schedule Daryl and I made for them."
"I fed them already. They're fine."
"But-" she looked up at Daryl.
"I'm their mother and I said they are fine."
"Sure yes… I didn't mean. I'll go."
"Beth thanks for everything you did. Really. They wouldn't be here if it weren't for your help I know that. But I got it now okay?"
The girl nodded. "You're welcome," but she looked at Daryl, not Danni when she said it.
"Did you have to be so rude? Jesus Danni."
"What?"
"The way you just treated Beth…she helped out a lot. You got no right."
"I appreciate it. I know she did a lot and you spent a lot of time with her. I can see that, but I'm their mother." Then she added "Watch out I think she a has a little crush on you. Or a big one." She muttered the last part under her breath.
"Your fucking kidding me right?" He asked.
"She's young, she's impressionable. "
"Unbelievable."
"Daryl, don't."
He shook his head.
….….…. …..…..
Dawn turned to morning light and the rest of the prison awoke and stirred back to life. People began their tentative walk by Herschel's cell, stealing a glance to see if Daryl was okay feeling sympathetic and anxious for him. This morning, however, they were greeted with a surprise.
"Well what 'dya know? Queenie decided to come on back and join us after all." Merle said in his usual cheeky tone.
"Hi, Merle." She gave him a smile.
"Oh well, I don't need to be seein' that." He referred to her breasts where the twins were enjoying breakfast.
"Uh after everything you did um, no need for modesty Merle."
"I'll be the judge of that." He said turning away.
"Hey, Merle about what you did I-"
"Glad to see ya up and around. " He interrupted her. "Chow time. I'm so hungry my backbone is snappin' at my belt buckle." He said and headed to the breakfast table.
Danni looked at Daryl confused.
"Just Merle being Merle."
"I just want to thank him. I mean, I am so grateful."
"He knows." was all Daryl said.
"I just heard," Rick said entering with purpose. He sat on the bed beside her and took her free hand in his own. "I-"
"Its ok. I'm fine. It's over Rick. Really, I'm good."
"Well hey, mom look at those two beauties. Congratulations." He stood up and turned to Daryl. "To both of you. You got some beautiful kids there."
Daryl nodded and a small smile escaped him as he let Rick shake his hand.
"Thanks." Danni was beaming when she said. "Meet Kiera Scout Dixon and Ryder Merle Dixon."
Daryl did a double take. 'Mer…" he choked a little.
"Well, he did give us a little help." She laughed.
Daryl shrugged. "Whatever. You're gonna tell him though."
"Get ready for some sleepless nights," Rick said slapping him on the back.
... ... ... ... ... ... .. .. ..
The rest of the morning saw the group members fawning over the babies and expressing relief that Danni was well. The presence of the twins brought a lightness to the cell block. The mood was celebratory. Herschel had been right about new life and what change it could bring, Throughout breakfast Daryl and Danni were the proud parents, but the tension was still heavy between them. Danni was ravenous. She sat at the table eating oatmeal and canned peaches with the others. She chatted and accepted compliments from T-Dog, Glenn, and even Andrea as well as tips from Lori and Carol and stories from Rick and Herschel about babies Carl, Maggie, and Beth. All of whom were mortified. Sophia kept moving back and forth between Daryl and Danni, who each held a baby trying to give them equal attention. She was mesmerized by them. She was chattering away about how cute they were.
Danni noticed she and Daryl seemed to naturally gravitate toward holding a specific twin. She always seemed to hold Ryder while Kiera was definitely Daryl's little girl. She knew they both loved the little ones equally with all their hearts and souls. Still Danni wondered if the idea of a daughter somehow scared her. When she'd first been pregnant, she was sure of Ryder, a boy growing in her belly. She felt right with that. Boys were, well, boys. Kiera was a surprise and though she adjusted happily to the idea of her little girl, mothering a daughter had implications for Danni. Most hidden, but some conscious reservations. Girls had a different experience in the world than boys. She knew first-hand things were tougher. She supposed she worried more about the relationship she'd have with a daughter since the one she'd had with her mother was so traumatic. What was that adage "the sins of the mother bloom in the children they bear." She thought of Tara. She had been a mother to her little sister but had failed in the end.
"Hey, we should move everything back upstairs now." She said to Daryl as breakfast ended and most everyone dispersed.
"Alright." He said and headed to pack up the baby supplies.
"Let me help."
"I got it." He said.
"Is he okay?" Maggie asked as she and Danni sat at the table. Maggie had Kiera and was making her laugh, tickling her little tummy. Danni held Ryder tightly. "Yeah, he's just…"
"Daryl?"
Danni nodded.
"Maggie, can I ask you something about Beth?"
"Sure."
"Has she ever had a boyfriend, a relationship?"
"Yeah in high school she went steady with a boy, named Jimmy. Together for all four years, but he moved away after graduation. She never really dated after that. He was her only relationship. Why?"
"She's got a crush on Daryl."
Maggie laughed. "You're kidding?'
"Nope, I know the signs. It's pretty obvious. They spent a lot of time together with the babies while I was...sick. She's got eyes for him now."
"Well, that's cute. Don't you think? Really sweet. C'mon Danni he's pretty good crush material you have to admit." She laughed.
Danni thought for a minute. It was sweet in a way. Beth was just a kid. What was she jealous for. It was ridiculous she and Daryl were solid. She knew that.
"Yeah it is, isn't it? I just don't want her to get hurt that's all."
"Yeah." Maggie said. "Let's watch out for her okay?"
"Sure thing big sister." Danni put Ryder in the car seat carrier on the table. "Maggie would you watch them for a bit?"
"Yes. Its amazing to realize these two are finally here."
Danni smiled "Yeah and they love you already."
... ... ... ... ... .. ... ... ... ... ...
"Oh hey, Rick I m sorry, so clumsy." Danni remarked as she slammed into him on her way to fill the wash basins with water. She dropped the steel tub.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm..." before she could lie and say 'fine' tears began to stream. She shook her head.
"What is it?"
His sympathetic tone opened her flood gates. "Daryl, he's pissed at me. I know it's just how he is and usually I can handle it but sometimes I feel so alone with it you know? He just shuts down and won't talk to me and I ...I should be used to it by now but today I'm so tired. I'm so worn out and I just-"
"Hey," he pulled her close in a hug. "Its okay. I'm sure it's not you. There's a lot going on now. Having kids is a wonderful thing but it tests relationships."
"I know." she sniffled.
"Hey, you've been through a lot, it's okay, let it out." He drawled with concern. His voice was so caring and sympathetic she couldn't help herself as she gripped his shirt and put her face against his chest and cried, just exhausting her tears. Finally, she said, "Thanks, Rick I haven't had a chance to just process, you know just have a good cry. Or a breakdown whatever you wanna call it."
"There you go." he said when she smiled. "I know, we all need that once in a while." He stroked her hair affectionately. "But you and Daryl, you two are solid. It's gonna be okay."
Andrea stood back in the shadows just nodding her head. She wondered if Merle noticed how friendly his brother's wife was with Rick. What he'd have to say about it. And Lori how would she feel….never mind Daryl...
... ... ... .. ... ... ... ... .
Daryl muttered, "I can do this myself."
"I know but you probably wouldn't, and you said you'd do anything I want.": Danni reminded him.
He sighed. "I did, huh?"
"Besides I spent a half hour heating all this water on the damn camp stoves."
There was still tension simmering between them from earlier. But Danni knew avoiding him and isolating herself in her own anger never worked. He did the same thing so Daryl needed her to draw him out to resolve the issues they were having. Rick reminded her of that.
Daryl sat shirtless on a chair in front of two steel wash basins the first filled with warm and soapy water, the second clean for rinsing. They were in the shower room behind the cell block for privacy. She hummed softly as she lathered his hair. He leaned back into her fingers as they massaged his scalp. She dug her nails in just enough to elicit a small groan of appreciation from him.
"Don't worry you won't smell like a girl this is the unscented stuff."
"Don't care. Think I can't handle smelling pretty?"
"I bet you wouldn't care would you? Besides who'd dare say anything to you about it?"
"Thas' right no one's gonna give me shit for smelling like flowers."
"They'd probably say thanks for the change."
He splashed water up at her.
"Hey cut it out. Now lean over."
She used an empty can to rinse the suds and remnants of dirt out of his hair. Filled it and poured over his head repeatedly. Once she toweled his head off, she brushed and straightening the strands with her fingers.
"I'm kidding you know. I love the way you smell. You have one too, you know, a scent like I do."
"Yeah? How bout that." He said humoring her.
"Really, its angelica archangelica."
"Fancy way of saying roadkill or dead squirrel or something?"
"No, you were bless…" She wanted to tell him about his mother and Brigid, but he was so sensitive about her. She needed to find the right time, the right way. Besides she wanted to talk to Merle first.
"Yeah exactly, now let me get to the rest of you."
He sighed again but turned obediently toward her
His face had become so defined his jaw almost chiseled. She brought the washcloth up and gently scrubbed away the streaks of dirt on his cheeks above his scruffy chin.
What's with that beard it's neither shaven nor grown. Make up your mind. Brigid would say. Danni laughed.
"What so funny?" He asked looking right through her.
She shook her head "Nothing." She noticed lately, too, there was more intensity to those eyes that could brood, kill or sparkle with amusement in a matter of moments.
"Lean forward." She instructed. Danni dipped the cloth into the water and splashed some of it up over his back so that she could start scrubbing him. The scars were not mentioned. They didn't need to be, not with Danni, not anymore. She moved the cloth over the demon tattoos.
"You know demons are just fallen angels.'"
"Oh yeah?"
"Mmm hmm. Are you still mad at me?" She asked
As she wiped away the dirt and grime from his biceps and shoulders, she couldn't help but notice again how broad they had become in the last few months. His arms were well muscled and defined and because he was hers she was appropriately impressed and his beauty filled her with a longing ache.
"Wasn't mad."
"Yeah you were."
He grunted to admit he was angry with her.
"I trust you okay. Nothing's gonna happen."
He didn't answer.
"And about Beth, sorry. I did act like a royal bitch. She does have a crush on you though. It's sweet. I don't blame her." Danni added "I have a crush on you."
"Yeah?"
"Turn to me."
She took the soap to his modest chest hair and saw his pecs were as well defined as the muscles of his shoulders.
"I'm sorry." she said as her hands passed over them, kneading slightly with the soap, she found herself focusing on the texture and feel of his skin and the tone of his muscles.
He nodded, "Me too."
She reached in from the side and washed his chest and stomach. She could feel the washboard that were his abs and had to bite her tongue to keep from complimenting him because she knew he'd feel embarrassed. Hell, he hated when she made a big deal out of his appearance. She held her tongue but couldn't control her mouth. She kissed the nape of his neck and then worked her way around to his left ear, running her tongue over his hot skin. "I'm crushing hard on you."
The closeness of their bodies and Danni's hands on him during the bath combined with the heat generated from the kiss was too much for Daryl to handle. The nature of human biology had immediately set in, and he attempted to hide his erect state by shifting the lower half of his body away from her. She stroked the side of his face and ran her other hand through his damp shaggy hair. "Stop being such an ass," She demanded affectionately. " I'm not stupid."
"But-"
"No. No, buts. You know what a compliment this is? I always tell you that." She reached around and put her hand against his hard-on for emphasis. "Don't you dare try to hide the effect I'm having on you because I want to feel it. I like feeling it. Especially now."
Daryl was getting in better and better shape while Danni felt just the opposite.
Her stomach was definitely smaller after the birth but still somewhat swollen. She figured her uterus takes a little time to go back to its normal size. She hadn't gained much extra weight seeing as her diet was pretty sparse during pregnancy. It wasn't like there were Ben and Jerry's pints to eat every night. But she was nowhere near ready to put on her favorite black jeans and tight t-shirts again. It was still leggings and oversized flannels.
It was almost like he knew what she was thinking.
"That's what I mean. Because right now… I just thought that…"
She brushed wisps of hair out of his eyes and offered him a warm smile. "What? You just thought what?"
"I just thought that since you can't... not yet, well it ain't fair. I told you there's plenty of time I don't mind waiting."
"Well," She replied coyly, flicking her bangs out of her eyes, "If I can still put you this state I'm happy to help you out of it in the meantime." She was eager as hell to worship him with her mouth.
"Danni you don't gotta to do this." He murmured
"I wanna do this."
"But..."
"Nuh uh, I told you before, no buts. Now, you're going to stand up like a good boy while I take care of your not-so-little problem down there, and if you even think about stopping me I'm gonna get angry. You know it's not pretty. So…to keep me in a happy mood you're going to have to let me suck your cock, okay?"
Hearing her say it made him let out a deep sigh and twitch in his pants and he stood up fast.
"You like me to talk dirty?" she asked, flicking her tongue against his lips.
"You know I do." He the said, "Shit… we got kids now."
"Is that why you're so weird about this?"
"Aint being weird."
"You are too. You're acting like I've never done this before."
"But we ain't never ...finished this way." He muttered. After wrapping her arms around his neck again, she leaned in and nuzzled the tender hollow of his throat. "That's what this about?" She realized he was worried about cumming in her mouth. Part of him would always be so sweet, so innocent. She nipped at the soft skin, teased it with little bites and licks, and then showered his neck with tiny kisses all the way up to his ear.
"If you really wanna do this I'll let you know then you can move." He said huskily low in his throat as she weakened every ounce of his resolve.
"Never change huh?"
He just shook his head saying "fuck you mean?" And kissed her hard. She pulled back.
"Good boy," She whispered sexily. "You're already starting to obey me."
"Got any other orders for me?" he joked.
"Actually, yeah. Relax."
When he didn't answer she tore her lips away from his ear and gazed into his eyes. "You're too good to me, let me be good to you."
Kissing him again, She pinched his zipper between her thumb and forefinger and eased it down slowly, making sure that the metallic teeth were given the opportunity to make their unmistakable sound. She released his straining erection and worked his pants and boxers down over his hips while he placing gentle kisses on his chest. Once he was free, she curled her fingers around his engorged length. He groaned audibly into her mouth, sending a pleasant vibration along her tongue and down her throat.
"Like I said I wanna be with you…not have you doing every-"" He couldn't finish.
"Can I help it if you're such a hot dad?"
Not waiting for an answer, she dropped to her knees and her hand slipped along his shaft from base to tip. Daryl's eyes were transfixed on hers, unwavering. She saw Daryl patiently waiting but wanting. He caressed the side of her face, stroking her skin with his soft, clean palm. At this point, most men wouldn't be able to restrain themselves from either grabbing the back of her head or wrapping their hands in her hair, both being methods to force her mouth roughly onto him to relieve some of the tension. But not Daryl. He'd never be that way with her. The tips of his fingers traced her lips, and then his hand slid to the back of her neck where it kneaded and massaged her stiff muscles with pleasurable results. Instinct took over. "I think it's time for you to you know..suck it." He said almost inaudibly, his intense blue eyes now clouded with lust. He was still shedding his issues with self-confidence and taking charge more; she didn't even need to prompt him this time.
"I thought you'd never ask." She said taking him in her mouth.
'You're... you…" He groaned, his breath hitching and stomach muscles tightening.
"Mm hmm," was her only response, and he shuddered as her muffled words sent vibrations tearing through his shaft.
"Awwwfuck," he whispered in a strained voice. She loved the reactions she created in him.
His primitive moans of delight and growls of approval encouraged her to slip into a higher gear, spurring her to kiss, lick and suck on him with abandon. She knew creating such intense pleasure in him didn't come down to technique alone and that was universal for all things sexual to Danni when it came to Daryl. It required a perfect balance of skill, enthusiasm and the connection that existed between both of them; on an emotional plane as well as the physical. Giving another person oral pleasure is a selfless act. The only satisfaction the giver can gain is through the knowledge that their actions appease the receiver's sexual desires. In fact today she expected nothing in return except the satisfaction that she could bring him to this point of ecstasy because he desired her. Although gone unspoken for all this time, the sharing of their bodies had more to do with filling a void in their hearts rather than their bodies. Both Daryl and Danni knew it.
Daryl's hips shuddered, the involuntary gyrations making his shaft slide in and out of her mouth haphazardly. Danni clamped one hand around the base and put the other on his hip holding him steady. She coupled her hard sucking with a quick, deep bobbing action, letting the prickly edges of her teeth and the spongy surface of her tongue graze against him induce optimum pleasure.
Her lips shifted north and arrived at the base of the stiff object being caressed by her hand. She delivered a rapid-fire series of kisses up the underside until she made it to the tip.
The next few seconds were a blur of action. She let him slip from her lips, then took him entirely into to her mouth. She applied an intense suction as her lips slid back up his length until they were only wrapped around the most sensitive part. She stimulated it not only by milking it between her lips but also lashing the silky skin with her tongue. It didn't take long before he suddenly twitched between her lips.
"Danni, you better move…" He tried to pull out, but she held him in place. The movement of his hips suddenly became erratic faster.
"Danni really I'm…" He groaned hard and he subsequently filled her mouth.
He looked down and saw her swallowing contentedly and realized it wasn't demeaning to her. Her eyes told him nothing he did would ever demean her. She stood wiping her lips with her sleeve and they smiled almost shyly at each other. He buttoned and zipped his pants as she slipped her arms around his waist and snuggled up to him. He was still breathing heavily. "My hero," she whispered affectionately, then kissed his cheek.
"Why?"
"Because of everything that's why." She paused. "That was fun." She added with a smile
"You're something alright. Ain't nobody else like you." He became serious. "I hate fighting with you, feeling alone like that. Look Danni, I knew the first time I held a cross-bow it felt...right. It was like that with you when I first held you. You just felt right. I take care of my bow because it protects and takes care of me. Together we're stronger. It's like that with you. "
"Together we are stronger." She repeated.
He nodded.
"Daryl you are the only man who could compare me to your weapon and make it romantic."
She thanked his flattery with a protracted kiss, savoring the sensation of his slick tongue and low moans as he kissed her back.
... ... ... ... .. .. .
"They wanna see their uncle." Danni said hovering in the doorway to Merle's cell, a baby in each arm. He gestured for her to enter.
She sat beside him. "Thanks, Merle. You know they wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Hell, I probably wouldn't be here."
"What was I 'sposed to do, leave ya like that. Jeez wasn't nothing. Now I got stuff to do here."
She stared at him. He sighed, "Well I guess I got a minute." He looked at the tiny faces. "Good thing they look like you queenie."
"They're heavy c'mon take one." She said, to get him to hold his nephew or niece.
The looked up at him, Keira smiling, Ryder more curious.
"Finally named them. This is Keira, but you can call her Scout. And this is Ryder Merle Dixon."
Merle snorted. Taking Ryder in his arms, Danni saw him look down with a gentle loving pride she'd never seen in this man before. "Daryl know bout that?"
"Duh, he's their daddy."
"Well, then shouldn't the Merle part be first queenie?" He laughed.
She realized she had made Merle very happy by giving Ryder his uncle's name. She felt something for Merle at that moment seeing the way he tenderly looked at his nephew. He was her brother now wasn't he? She had a big brother. Big brothers looked out for you. Sure he had his faults, boy did he, but yeah, he really was family too.
"Come upstairs later, tell them stories, that's the best way to get them to know your voice."
"In a while maybe," He said handing Ryder back to her.
"Merle can I talk to you about your mother sometime? You know...she knew my Nana."
He nodded "I figured as much. Daryl said her name was Brigid?"
"Yeah and...you knew her too didn't you?"
Both Merle and Danni experienced a chill up their spines when she said it.
"Seems that way."
She nodded "Then can we talk, sometime?"
"Sure thing queenie. But I gotta tell ya the whole thing's got me more confused than a turtle on the center stripe."
"You did a good thing Merle. A really good thing."
She left him.
He looked up and watched her walk away. "That was nothing compared to what I'm gonna do for you and Daryl and them kids." He muttered seriously. With deadly purpose.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. ... .. .
Many years earlier….
By this time, Charlotte Dixon no longer wore big sunglasses or used makeup when she went to visit at Brigid's. Trying to hide them was futile. Brigid didn't want excuses for the bruises so Charlotte stopped making them up. Entering Brigid's parlor she just said, "he killed four pints, along with a cupful of shine and his last bottle of store bought." It was her explanation for the split, swollen lip and a black eye. "And Merle's gone again. Out in them woods I don't know where gets off to when he does this." She shook her head. She didn't cry much anymore, but a small tear escaped at the thought of her son. "He tried to stop his daddy as usual and got his own ass whooped. He's gone again. He's only eight years old Brigid."
"Come sit." Brigid took Charlotte to the kitchen and brought out the salve and applied it gently to Charlotte's wounds. At twenty-eight Charlotte could be Brigid's own daughter.
"Darlin' why don't you come with us this time. Please. There's always room for a gifted girl such as yourself. And your darlin' little boy too."
Charlotte sat at Brigid's kitchen table drinking iced tea and feeling mothered. She shook her head unable to meet Brigid's gaze. Brigid waved an accordion fold lace paper fan on her face in the August heat of Georgia.
"Every year you say no. I can't force you dearie. But you know my feelings on this. You owe it to yourself, to your boy to leave the stinking rat bastard."
"You know I can't."
"I know no such thing." Brigid was quiet. "We're going soon. Think on it will you?"
Charlotte nodded. How could she explain? Will Dixon had been a good man once. He had treated her like a queen when they were first married. She still loved him. Still had hope that if he stopped the drinking he'd treat her that way again. He didn't always drink. After Merle was born, the mill shut down and he couldn't find work. Being unable to support his family broke him and he turned to alcohol. The first time she ever saw him touch a drop. Some men stand up in a crisis some men fall down. She felt he could pull himself together one of these days. Sometimes she was still mesmerized by his piercing cobalt eyes. Sometimes she thought she saw a spark of the passion, the love he had for her underneath the blazing blue hatred. Despite that, those eyes could make her do anything. How could she explain to Brigid that this man had stolen her heart eight years ago and despite everything he still had it. She remembered the night she met him:
Will Dixon finished his cigarette and was about to leave the only greasy spoon in town when a dark-haired waitress finally stepped out of the kitchen and grabbed a plastic-coated menu from behind the cash register. She was new, he'd never seen her before. He liked that her shoulder length hair was down and not in some fancy bouffant style like all the gals had lately.
Charlotte had moved from a small Kentucky town that was dying. They shut down the mine and folks were leaving, there was no work, no life left. So Charlotte had packed up looking for adventure. She had a cousin in Georgia she'd stay with, then make her way to Florida. Florida was her dream: beautiful beaches, palm trees. So here she was living with her cousin working at the local diner saving to get to Florida. Temporary.
"Sorry, I didn't hear you come in. We're short-staffed tonight. Hope you weren't waiting long."
He had been waiting long and would have given her hell if the spit hadn't dried in his mouth. He could barely speak. That had never happened to him before. He was a bit of a loudmouth in town. Never one to hold back his opinion. But looking at her huge brown eyes, high cheekbones, full lips and long slender legs very visible under the short skirt of the brown polyester waitress dress he couldn't even ask for a cup of coffee. She smiled at his silent stare. It was the most gorgeous smile he'd ever seen. It lit up her whole face. She was pretty, sure, but when she smiled that girl was beautiful. He felt he was looking at a live version of one of them pin-up movie angels. As best as Will could figure that was when he fell in love.
"How bout a cup of coffee? And the special, it's pulled pork tonight." She offered since he couldn't seem to use his mouth. He nodded, surprised that she seemed to know just what he wanted, what he needed. There was that smile again as she wrote down the order.
"Be back with your coffee." She had a sweet but strong voice almost musical with a soft drawl. She wasn't from Georgia. Maybe Tennessee?
He had to do something so he ambled over to the jukebox and put in a quarter. They didn't have the most current selection of songs for 1967. He liked Waylon Jenning outlaw country music but Will always liked Johnny Cash too and they had his latest song "Jackson" the duet with his wife June. He pressed B16 and listened to the record drop. He made his way back to his table by the window as the song started.
"Well now, we got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper Sprout,
We've been talkin' 'bout Jackson, ever since the fire went out.
I'm goin' to Jackson, and that's a fact.
Yeah, we're goin' to Jackson, ain't never comin' back
Well, we got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout'
And we've been talkin' 'bout Jackson, ever since the fire went.."
He could see his Harley parked at the edge of the lot. His pride and joy. He had saved and worked over time at the mill to afford it.
When the waitress came back with his coffee, she mentioned something about his good taste in music. He nodded and finally managed to get two words out. "Thank ya."
"Someone's got a nice ride out there." she glanced past him out the window.
"You like bikes?
"Love them."
"That's there's mine maybe I could take you for a ride sometime." He said feeling more like himself at the mention of his motorcycle. When she smiled and said "maybe," he was sure he fell in love and that she served him the best meal of his life that night.
After he had eaten, he got on his bike to head home. He lived with his brother Harlan in a small clapboard house over the hill. Sometimes he'd spend time after work at the local with his buddies but since he didn't drink alcohol he'd get bored easily. At least his brother was a good poker player. He straddled the bike.
Her name tag had said Charlotte. He thought it was the most beautiful name he'd ever heard.
Charlotte skipped over to the window to watch him ride out of the parking lot on his Harley. Those eyes; that man had the most incredible eyes, she thought to herself. He was attractive in a biker sort of way. She liked that look, his messy, dirty blond hair falling over his ears and forehead, not a crew cut type guy. And that scruffy bearded face. Not quite grown nor quite shaved just in between. He wore a leather jacket over his work uniform from the mill. She hoped he'd be back tomorrow night. She crossed her fingers like a little girl.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. .
"Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them."
Danni lay on her bed and read over the Oscar Wilde quote wondering if Daryl would ever forgive his mother. For leaving him. That's what hurt him the most.
"Hey," Daryl suddenly appeared upstairs. "Are they-"
"They're sleeping." She smiled and closed her journal.
He knelt down and spread a map out in front of her on the bed. "We're here see." He pointed at what she realized was the location of the prison. "Now you take the main road after the turnout from the entrance to this highway see." He continued to trace the route with a finger. "Hand me your pen will ya? Alright," he traced the route with the pen. "Keep going about 50 miles, to this road, route 16, okay then follow that to this turn-off. Then you're there." He looked up at her. "Keep the map but try to memorize it ."
"Daryl what is-"
"Your ghost house. You said it was kinda like our place right? This is the route. If anything happens, if things go south and we get split up, you take the kids and you go there. And you wait for me. I'll find you."
She nodded.
"I'm taking a chance that it'll still be a safe location, but-"
"It will. They'll keep it safe for us." Lorelei and John.
"They?"
"Yeah they will." She took his hand and touched his wedding ring. "Thank you, Daryl."
"We'll most likely never have to -"
"I know-"
"But better safe than sorry. I want to get a go bag ready with rations, supplies everything they'll need in case you have to get out fast."
She nodded letting him take the credit. It was his plan after all. Just her idea that he ran with. "We'll pick one car that'll be the one you take. I'll make sure whatever one it is it always has gas and oil and it's running okay. It'll be ready."
"And if you have them and I'm not with you same goes okay. We'll meet at our house, i mean the house."
"Just makes sense." He summed up.
"Makes a lot of sense."
Danni realized that her early dreams of the children had taken place in that house. She hadn't seen it until just now. That was the place in her dream. She felt a pang of anxiety.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... . .. ..
Brigid's book of shadows lay open in Danni's arms. The leather-bound book was weighty, its parchment pages contained ultimate wisdom and instruction. It was an honor to be holding it. And now she owned it. She felt so close to her Nana.
It was midnight and she felt like they had the world to themselves. Daryl finished lighting the extra candles. He then gently picked up the babies and approached Danni. The kneeled on the floor facing each other. He noticed her face looked more beautiful than he'd ever seen it. She had an ethereal, otherworldly glow and her eyes sparkled with intent.
"This saining and blessing is for protection against faerie mischief and the changelings and for the protection of the babies from all unseen forces." She read aloud to Daryl.
Danni had followed the instructions for the saining. She filled a pitcher with water and put her wedding ring in it; silver made the water sacred. Water that has been touched with siver is used during the ritual for the blessing.
She put the iron nails that Daryl had bent in the form of a circle in their mail crate cribs to be near the children as they sleep.
Daryl held the babies while Danni passed a white candle under, over and around the them saying:
"We ask the Spirits of Nature for protection.
We ask the Ancestors for protection.
We ask the Shinning Ones for protection."
She put a drop of the silvered water on the each baby's foreheads and said:
"We call for the blessings of the Spirits of Nature on these wee ones.
We call for the blessings of the Ancestors on these wee ones.
We call for the blessings of the Shinning Ones on these wee ones."
"We ask for this to guard them from the Fae.
We ask for this to grant to them the graces.
We ask for this to give to them long life."
Danni then dropped a splash of water on each baby for each line she recited.
"A wavelet for thy form,
A wavelet, for thy voice,
A wavelet for thy sweet speech;
A wavelet for thy luck,
A wavelet for thy good,
A wavelet for thy health;
A wavelet for thy throat,
A wavelet for thy pluck,
A wavelet for thy graciousness;
Nine waves for thy graciousness."
"Our Kiera and Ryder Dixon." she said and then they were silent for a long minute.
"What are they gonna be ...in this world? " Danni finally wondered aloud.
"We had enough time to think and doubt. You know what? They're gonna be whoever they want to be, that's what." Daryl answered
That's exactly right, she thought.