After we got in the pickup, Lemmy set his GPS to Bowser's Castle. He then started talking to me. He said that he knew about the accident that killed my parents.
FLASHBACK:
My parents are driving down a highway when a red car came out of nowhere and smashes my parents car to bits.
END FLASHBACK
Lemmy said that the driver of the red car was Mario. I believed him, because the car was red, and there was already enough weird things going on that were true. Lemmy then said that he didn't want to involve me in this, but when he saw me sleeping in the bed of his truck, he decided to take pity on me and take me to Dark Land as well as tell me the real story about the accident. He wanted me to help him and his family defeat Mario once and for all. I said yes to his request because I never really liked Mario. And not to many other people on the internet did. Most Super Mario Bros fanfics are just about the Koopalings.
Back in the day, I even was posting a lot on Lemmy's Land, this old fan fiction archive. Its defunct now, but back then it was the hub for all the Mario fics on the Net. I sat there explaining all this to Lemmy, who said that he ran it. I asked why he stopped posting, and he said because he was the king now. I was glad that he wasn't dead, which everyone else was believing.
We then came upon a bridge to the mainland, Lemmy said. He then stated that it lead to Pipe Land, after which the highway goes through a tunnel to Dark Land. We stopped at a diner near the entrance to Pipe Land. Pipesweag Roadhouse, the sign outside read. We ordered Koopa-Colas and fries, and then we continued on our way.
A short time later, my phone rang. It was my principal, John Dinar'i. He said someone came to the summer program that looked like me but was a total jackass. He then asked me if I knew anything about it. I said no, and then he said goodbye and hung up. I told that to Lemmy, and he was just as mystified as I was.