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Day 15: Nightmares

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Canon Universe

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It was a long ride back to Ba Sing Se.

There was a strange quiet amongst the six friends, and no one felt like breaking it. Aang was on Appa's head, steering the group over the sea and away from the Fire Islands, hoping to rest in the mountains along the shore of the Earth Kingdom for the evening once he caught sight of them. But that didn't mean he didn't notice the heavy atmosphere pressing down behind him.

Zuko was injured—badly. Katara was sitting in between his legs, concentrating hard on Zuko's abdomen with the glow of her healing water working to mend the damage Azula caused. Her brow was creased in a worried sort of concentration, and he could see the film in her eyes that meant she was close to tears. But Zuko's hand had moved to her knee and squeezed in order to offer some sort of comfort for the tortured Waterbender. Katara had looked up, and the two shared a potent eye contact that Aang felt guilty spying on.

Sokka and Suki were silently dozing off against the back of the saddle, Sokka's arm wrapped tightly around Suki's middle, probably afraid that if he kept his eyes off of her for too long or kept her too far away, she'd disappear, and this time he'd never see her again. He had filled Aang in on the dramatic fight that occurred when trying to stall the airships. They came closer to dying than they would have liked, and Aang unfortunately knew all to well what that felt like.

Toph was sitting separate from everyone else, clutching onto Appa's saddle tighter than she usually would, and was simply staring sightlessly out on the vast ocean before her. Aang couldn't pick up any kind of emotion or energy off of her, which worried him the most. A stoic Toph was a strange sight to see. He honestly preferred a bored or irate young Earthbender than what he was seeing.

Then again, who could blame her? Apparently, Sokka was hanging onto her for dear life while she dangled precariously from the edge of an airship. Aang would probably be quiet too.

Camp was set up with little inane conversation, everyone silently doling out their duties and quickly curling up near the fire in order to try and get some sleep despite the excitement of the day. Aang himself was snuggled on top of Appa and couldn't really wrap his head around the fact that all of the traveling and hiding and training and praying finally paid off in one climactic moment. Ozai was merely a harmless man, a prisoner in his own country. Azula was just a shattered, lonely girl. The surrealism of it all kept him up for hours.

Aang was stumbling in and out of consciousness when he heard a distant rumble coming from the mountain pass several feet above their camp. Aang instinctively grabbed his staff and readied himself for an attack, afraid that they had been followed and were being thrust into battle all over again. But nothing was coming towards the group, and after that single rumble, everything was left quiet. Aang glanced over at the group sleeping by the fading embers still flowing in the fire pit and immediately noticed that Toph was missing.

Aang glanced back up at the mountain pass and jumped onto the ground. He couldn't feel any movement from within the mountain, but that was probably due more to the fact that his seismic sensing—though paramount in saving his life today—wasn't nearly as sensitive as Toph's. Plus, the rumbling he had heard sounded quite far away, so there would be no way for him to tell what Toph was up to and whether she needed help.

Not that she needed the help, she would insist. But after hearing about her troubles from today and seeing her look so bothered on the way here, Aang couldn't in good conscience leave her to her devices. She'd probably punch him for it later, but he'd handle that when it came.

Aang airbended up to the mountain pass and sure enough found a cave in the side of the mountain that looked too smooth and straightforward to be naturally made. It was Toph's Earthbending—compact and terribly precise, unlike his own which was often more "widespread and unkempt" in the words of his Sifu. Lighting the way only with a bit of fire he bended in his palm, Aang carefully walked through the path made within the mountain.

The monk walked for close to fifteen minutes before he started to hear the rumbling reverberate all around him again. Toph throwing rocks around to vent out anger wasn't unheard of, but it didn't look like Toph was seething earlier. If anything, she looked like she wanted to build a rock tent and just hide away from the world for a while. Or, in this case, burrow into the depths of a mountain without anyone seeing her. Still, all this noise was starting to become a little worrisome.

Just as he thought this, Aang came to a break in the mountain pass and saw that there were five other tunnels in front of him that he could take. The Airbender groaned and fell down on the ground.

"Darn it," his quiet voice echoed through the caves. So much for trying to find her. Who knew how deep these tunnels ran? She could be anywhere, and probably didn't want to be found.

Aang rested his chin in his hand, wondering if he should just turn back or try one of the tunnels when he heard the rumbling again, this time behind him and this time louder than it had ever been. Aang turned to inspect the noise, but this time managed to see the wall to his right crumble and reveal a rather large Badgermole, sniffing around the ground and suddenly turning to the Airbender.

He knew that Badgermoles were native to Earth Kingdom mountains like this one, but he had only ever seen them when Sokka and the nomads had come out of the Kolau Mountains with them as guides. This one, however, seemed sensitive to Aang's scent and immediately turned its head towards the boy.

"Uh oh," he muttered just as the Badgermole began advancing on him. Aang tried to crawl away into one of the caves while also trying to keep his flame from going out, but his back hit a wall instead and allowed for the Badgermole to corner him. The hulking animal was sniffing the ground and then brought its nose close to Aang's, as if trying to gauge whether or not it was a threat. Aang could feel a nervous sweat start to form on the back of his neck and was desperately trying to remember whether or not Badgermoles liked the taste of Airbenders.

Suddenly, Aang heard a melody being whistled from behind him. It was coming from the cave to his left and he sighed a breath of relief when he saw that the Badgermole was far more interested in the melody echoing through the caves than it was in Aang anymore.

The whistling was coming from Toph, who had just emerged from the cave and immediately reached out for the Badgermole. She smoothed her hands over its snout and spoke to it gently, "Calm down, buddy. It's okay. He's a friend." Aang watched in awe as Toph kept her hands on the Badgermole and kept whistling that same melody to the animal until it bowed its head and licked Toph across the cheek. She smiled and reached up higher to affectionately scratch the side of its head.

The Badgermole lumbered to the opposite wall and curled up on the ground, as if waiting for Toph to do something or go somewhere before it continued on. Aang was beyond impressed.

"How did you get it to warm up to you so fast?" Aang asked.

Toph shrugged, still smiling fondly at the animal. "Their hearing is sensitive because they're blind, so music calms them down. Plus, this guy must have recognized that my bending was a lot like his."

Aang nodded. "That's right. You learned from Badgermoles."

Toph did nothing but shrug and walk over to sit against the Badgermole still curled up against the wall. It looked like it was trying to fall asleep, but Aang didn't dare come over to disturb it.

The girl rolled her eyes. "Come on. If you're with me, he won't bug you. Besides, Badgermoles are actually really sweet."

"So, they don't find Airbender meat appetizing?"

"They eat mountain critters, you idiot," Toph deadpanned. "Worms, roots, that kinda stuff."

"Did you feel how it was sniffing me?" Aang complained, walking closer to Toph, but hesitating sitting down against he animal.

"He was sizing you up," Toph chuckled. "It's not like he can look at you and decide if you're dangerous. Besides, I think he was just trying to find me."

Aang begrudgingly accepted that fact. Besides, the animal did look harmless now that it was falling asleep and breathing deeply.

"Wow," Aang commented as he sat down. "He's almost as comfortable as Appa."

Toph snuggled deeper into the fur. "They're awesome when the mountains get cold."

Aang turned his head towards her. "Speaking of which. Why are you up here, anyway? The campfire is a lot warmer."

The girl shrugged and brought her knees up to her chest. "I was bored."

"Liar."

Toph frowned. "You don't know that."

"Doesn't mean I'm not right," Aang pointed out.

"But it does mean you have no proof," Toph pointed out. "I'm a fortress."

Aang looked at his own knees. "Are you?"

Toph looked skeptical. "Do you have a convincing argument ready to tell me otherwise?"

"I might."

There was no reason to suggest that any side effects of what everyone went through today weren't completely warranted or acceptable. But Aang knew that Toph was familiar with ignoring and making the best of handicaps, so he wasn't surprised when she practically laughed in his face. "Stop," she told him firmly, still smiling in a humorous disbelief. "Don't even go there. I'm fine."

Aang held his hand up. "I didn't even say anything!"

"You didn't have to," Toph scowled, tucking her arms into her chest. "You have this really sucky habit of being as subtle as a knee to the groin."

Aang scrunched his nose. "Charming. But you have this really sucky habit of avoiding questions you don't want to answer."

"What do you want me do?" Toph snapped, her irritation spooking the Badgermole behind her. It lifted its head to nuzzle her back, but her anger wasn't abating. "Break down in tears, cry on your shoulder, and say how traumatizing my near death experience was? Then, who knows? Maybe I'll pour my heart out and admit all of my hidden fears, insecurities, and other weaknesses that you don't need to hear, and we'll get all cuddly and grow closer as friends." Her pause was deafening and she was panting from the long sentences she rattled off in one breath. "Stop treating me like a five year old."

Her arms were wrapped around her knees now and her head was buried in her arms. Had she been alone, Aang knew this was the moment she would have just put up a rock tent and hid away from all the questions and all the noise around her. This time, it wouldn't have been out of annoyance or anger. He could see her shoulders shaking.

Knowing when it was the wrong time to push, Aang leaned back into the animal's fur, stared up at the ceiling of the caves, and put more juice into his fire. He could understand why Toph might escape here. He was sure that he couldn't really appreciate the twists and turns of the mountain pass the way that Toph could. Similar to the way that flying endlessly through the skies and catching random winds in the mountains calmed him down, navigating the endless paths and passes within the mountains must distract and calm Toph down in return. It was the only reason he could think for Toph wanting to explore in the middle of the night.

Despite how defensive Toph often got about personal issues, Aang wasn't stupid.

Aang stared thoughtfully at the ceiling of the cave and the way the light refracted against the rock. "You know, I still have really bad nightmares about the siege at Ba Sing Se," he tried to mention as offhandedly as he could. He didn't want to make this a pity party. Toph was more likely to tune him out that way.

She didn't stop him, so he continued. "They're different each and every time. Sometimes, Azula shoots me in the back and I come crashing to the ground, except Katara isn't there to catch me. And I'm just lying there…and I can't move, or speak…and everything sounds really far away…"

Aang blinked quickly. "But sometimes, I hit the ground and I get right back up, but I can't do anything. I can't bend, and I can't go into the Avatar State. Instead, I'm just sitting there helpless, watching all of you get captured, get hurt…and worse things." He shifted slightly, still feeling the tender skin of the scar that would always be on his back. "Every time I wake up, I still feel a jolt in the spot where I was hit. It all comes racing back, and it takes me ages to go back to sleep."

Toph's head was still resting in her arms, but her face was at least facing his and facing the ground, her way of showing that she was at least paying some attention. Aang bit his lip and switched his flame from hand to hand out of nervousness. He hadn't admitted to his dreams before.

"I'm not expecting you to feel sorry for me. I know you wouldn't really do that anyway. I'm just saying…it's okay to feel haunted or scared about certain things. Zuko thrashes in his sleep a lot. And sometimes, Katara wakes up screaming for her mom. Sokka wakes up in the middle of the night and stares at the moon for hours before going back to sleep. Everyone has dreams they wish they didn't have."

Nothing about the past year was kind to any of them. But everyone had pulled through better than he would have thought was possible. Aang knew that Toph would be the same. Given some time, Toph would be able to look past today and go on with life in a normal way. Memories never went away, but their burden always lessened and allowed for peace the more time went by.

Toph mumbled into her arms a moment later. Aang leaned closer to her. "Hm?"

She lifted her head. "I slip. Sokka's holding onto me as tight as he can…but Suki comes too late and I slip," she whispers quietly, snuggling further into the fur of the Badgermole to give herself some comfort. "I can't see, and I'm falling for ages, and there's heat, like I'm falling through fire. And then there's this jolt when I finally hit the ground…and then I wake up."

Aang immediately wanted to reach out and wrap his arms around her, but he knew how she felt about being touched. "Are you okay?"

Toph closed her eyes for a moment, sighed deeply, and shook her head sadly. Being careful not to cross a line, Aang scooted a little closer to her and reached out for one of her hands. She didn't shake away from the contact, and actually laced her fingers in between his.

He wasn't sure who moved first, but Toph leaned her head on Aang's shoulder and Aang was resting his head against hers. It was the most comfortable the two of them had been in a long time, and Aang relished in how nice it felt to have Toph pressed against his side and how warm their hands felt laced together.

Pretty soon, Aang felt his eyes close and the fire in his palm finally went out. There was something so calming about their position, that he decided that allowing himself to lull into a gentle sleep for a few minutes wouldn't be so bad.

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A/N: A sad head canon of mine where every member of Team Avatar has a recurring nightmare that keeps them up at night and shakes them deeper than they'd like. Poor darlings :( But at least they have each other!