"Dan…The storm is getting really bad. We should really get down to the basement"

Phil stood in the doorway watching Dan with unease as he spoke. This was probably one of the worst storms they'd seen for a long time. Phil had been awake for hours, unable to sleep because of the noise. Yet obviously Dan could easily sleep through it. Phil could tell he was still half asleep as the younger boy sat up and rubbed his eyes. He did feel a little bad for waking Dan up but he'd rather have them both safe than risking them getting hurt.

"Do we really have to go? I'm tired" Dan mumbled, standing up a little tool quickly and stumbling forward thanks to his numb legs. Phil automatically held his hands out to catch Dan in case he did fall. Dan jut blushed slightly and straightened himself up.

"Yeah we do. I don't want anything to happen to us"

Dan made another little grumble of complaint before following Phil into the hallway and reaching for the light switch. There was a click as his finger pressed against the switch but nothing happened. He made a face, trying again but with no result. "Looks like the powers out then" Dan said with a small sigh. He watched Phil's lips twitch into a small smile of amusement as he gave Phil his best pout. For the first time in awhile Phil actually laughed.

"Come on then. Lets get some candles and head down"

Dan nodded, making sure to stay close behind Phil as they made their way down the stairs into the dark kitchen to look for some matches. Dan was going to suggest taking their phones and laptops down there but then realised if this storm really was as bad as they were saying then they would be down there a lot longer than his remaining battery life would last. So he just kept quiet and watched Phil struggling to strike a match and light a single candle.

Eventually they made their way down to the basement with a candle holder each and a radio. It was Phil's idea so they could listen to the weather updates. The storm seemed pretty bad but maybe it would clear up soon.

Phil sighed softly as he sat down, leaning his head back against the wall as he closed his eyes. He was tired. Not just physically but mentally. He opened his eyes to see Dan with his legs drawn up to his chest and hugging his knees. He always looked so uncomfortable around Phil and really Phil hated that. Of course he understood but he hoped after everything they'd talked about that maybe Dan would start being a little less- well difficult. He was pleasant enough to be around but there were many things he was still doing which Phil just didn't understand. He got the fact Dan was just a kid and that he really wasn't ready for a committed relationship, but the boy would shake violently if you even touched his hand. He'd get this look of complete fear in his eyes that really made Phil wonder what had happened in his past to make him like this with contact.

"I'm sure it's not as bad as they're saying it is. I mean weathermen always exaggerate these things" Dan said softly over the quiet crackle of the radio. There was a song playing gently from the device that almost sounded like a lullaby. The soft melodies that merged together, trickled from the speakers and into both their ears. It was calm like this. Although Dan felt awkward as usual, there was something kind of nice about this.

"You're probably right, but id rather be safe than sorry" Phil paused, shifting slightly so he was leaning back on his hands a little more. He looked to Dan then, moving his right arm towards him almost unconsciously "I know it's the middle of the night but…It's nice being down here with you"

"Id rather be sleeping in the middle of the night but-" Dan started in some sort of an attempt to make a joke.

"Dan, I like spending time with you, in case you've failed to notice. But, I just feel like we've both been too busy for each other lately. We're like passing ships in the night. Both of us just sort of going undetected by the other and I'm not sure I want or like that"

"Yeah…I guess we've both been busy"

"I know this has been hard on you. I understand this isn't exactly what you wanted. I mean, this relationship isn't exactly normal. And I do know you're really trying" he sighed, leaning back against the wall trying to figure out what to say next. He didn't even know what he was trying to say now. He just started talking and letting his thoughts out. And now he didn't know whether to say what he was really thinking or leave Dan in the dark. "This marriage didn't exactly start the way I wanted it too, but…I want to make this work. You're my husband and I know I've said this all before, but I really don't think of that too lightly. We might not be in love yet…but I know it's going to happen one day"

Dan just sat there with tears prickling his eyes and he really didn't know why. He bowed his head, looking at the floor as a million thoughts buzzed through his head. And yet out of all those thoughts he managed to say the one thing he didn't want to. "…You must really miss your husband…"

Phil's head snapped up to Dan to see the younger boy sitting there looking absolutely miserable. But what Dan had just said, Phil couldn't have heard that right. Dan had never brought up him before, so why now? Phil just sort of assumed Dan didn't know or didn't care. "…What?"

"You two seemed really happy. My dad said you guys were like the perfect couple…"

"Yeah, we were happy" He smiled "But, that doesn't mean we were really happy"

Dan looked up to meet Phil's gaze for the first time. He felt a small pink blush cover his cheeks as he stared into those blue eyes. "What do you mean?"

"What even is happy? We're told that a lot of things give us happiness and we should keep searching for it all through our lives. But, what actually is happiness?"

"Love can give you happiness…surely that's what made you happy?"

"No, love can cause happiness and pain. It's a mix of both that make us all stop and realise life isn't a fairy tale. Happiness is a lot like candy floss I guess. It's fluffy and delicious until you add a drop of water and it all disintegrates into just sugar. Love can be a lot like that. Happy and beautiful until trouble hits it and then it dissolves just like that"

Dan shifted so he wasn't sitting in such a protective position now. He kept his gaze on Phil as he straightened out his legs and carefully placed his hands on the floor. He looked down to his left hand which was now a lot closer to Phil's hand than it had ever been. And in that moment Dan had no idea what made him do it. He'd say it was an impulse but he knew better than that. He slowly moved his hand until his finger tips were lightly touching Phil's. Phil looked down at their now barely touching hands as a small smile graced his lips. He looked back up and caught Dan's eye, keeping that eye contact as if to ask permission as he slowly moved his own hand closer. Dan looked worried for a moment but nodded as he squeezed his eyes shut and took in a breath.

"I think you're wrong" Came Dan's slightly breathy words as he looked down and their hands which were now laced together "Happiness is all dependent on if you let yourself feel it. You can only feel your own happiness so why let anyone else control that? If doing something makes you happy then you should do it. And sure someone or something can take your happiness away. But you just have to get it back again. It's not like it's lost forever"

Phil just stared into those chocolaty brown eyes in pure amazement. Dan haden't ever shared anything like that before. "That was beautiful Dan…but, what if happiness really can be lost?"

"…It can be lost…I think we both know that. But it really isn't ever lost forever. It'll come back one day and when it comes back you'll realise how much you missed it. How much you wanted it to be there all that time but it wasn't. you'll finally be able to sit back and think that yes, I really am truly happy now."

Phil let a sad smile cover his hips as he gently ran his thumb over Dan's hand, looking away for a moment as he tried desperately to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. "But what are you supposed to do in the mean time? As humans our instinct is to run at the first sign or pain. When we don't have happiness, we suffer that emotional pain. I've had happiness, I really have. It was great and it makes you feel so alive, yet it's not enough."

"I…Phil-" Dan tried to say, desperately thinking of what to say when he was interrupted by a voice from the radio. 'The storm warning has been lowered. We suggest you still stay inside but there is no immediate danger anymore'

Without a word Phil stood up, turning his head as he wiped his face in some sort of attempt to try not let Dan see he was upset. He was always upset these days and yet Dan never seemed to notice. It wasn't Dan's fault, Phil was just normally incredibly good at hiding it. Phil moved to in front of Dan and held out his hand to the younger boy. Dan looked unsure for a second but seemed to change his mind as he clasped Phil's hand and stood up. Phil flashed him a small smile which Dan amazingly returned.

Only moments ago they had had the most indebt discussion they had ever shared and Phil knew as soon as they left the room they'd go back to how they were. Just going back to be those two passing ships in the night and he didn't want that. He squeezed Dan's hand, trying to show how he felt through his actions but he knew that wouldn't work.

Dan gazed into Phil's eyes feeling more confused than ever. They were still holding hands when they didn't need to be. It wasn't that Dan didn't enjoy it, he was just more confused to when it became okay to do this. Normally he'd shake and panic but he only felt slightly nervous as Phil's gaze burned into him.

"I want it Dan…"

"You…You want what?"

"I want happiness again" he took a quick breath in before looking straight into Dan's eyes "You could bring it back. You could be the one to bring back my happiness and fix me. I don't want it to be like before. I don't want us to just use the other as an accessory. I want to talk to you, joke with you. Laugh at stupid videos together and cry at sad movies. I know you don't love me…but, could we at least try be friends?"

Dan couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face even if he tried. That sounded okay and actually kind of nice. They could be friends, of course they could. Dan knew he was incredibly awkward and hard to get along with, but maybe they could try this.

Although he still didn't like this whole idea of the marriage thing he didn't mind trying to be a friend. He was done arguing all the time. He didn't want to make Phil unhappy at all. It was more of the opposite actually. He wanted to make Phil happy and he didn't know why. It just felt like the right thing to do to for him.

"Okay, we can be friends"