They didn't talk about what they should have been talking about. Of course Dan told PJ about what happened with his dad but PJ didn't dare utter a word about it in case it set Dan off. PJ didn't mind Dan being upset and needing some comfort, but he didn't want to be the one to cause his friend to be upset. Dan's mother had always been a touchy subject ever since the accident had happened. Dan had been strong at first, pretending it didn't affect him. But then he cracked and he was never the same. He was okay on the outside by on the inside PJ knew his friend was still broken. Those tiny cracks becoming more and more visible by the day until he wasn't sure Dan would ever be okay again.

The day it had happened was a bad day for Dan. He was fifteen and still living in his own little fantasy world. His mum had been trying to make him wake up and realise that life was life and love was never perfect yet Dan didn't want to believe her. That's what had caused the argument which has essentially killed her.

They'd argued and Dan had stormed out, wondering off not caring where he was going as long as he was away from her. He was being selfish but he didn't care because back then he felt as though it was all about him. He was self centred and he hated himself for it. He just wanted to be happy and they way he saw it his mum was just trying to destroy his happiness by being the way she was. Of course, she was only trying to save him from heartbreak but he didn't even consider that back then.

So he'd stormed off full of rage just looking for somewhere to calm down. And sure he did calm down and he was actually full of content until the sun went down and he realised he had no idea where he was. He tried to find his own way back but just found himself becoming more and more panicked as he wondered on and on.

At first he thought it was a good thing when he started to notice people. Until he realised what kind of people these people where. They hit him, chased him. Screamed after him as he ran and ran. He was scared. All so scared and the only thing he wanted was his mum in that moment. His mum who was kind and lovely and the best person in his life. He loved her with all his heart and that's what made what happened next all the more worse.

He called her, his voice shaking as he asked her to come get him. She immediately told him to try stay out of sight and she'd be there right away. But when you're lost and scared it's hard to give directions. He just cried down the phone to her telling her how sorry he was and how he didn't want to argue. Yet all she could do was tell him it was okay and try give him as much comfort as possible. Nothing is ever simple though and everything always goes wrong. In Dan's case, his life felt like it has been going wrong since he was born.

He was barely conscious when he heard his mothers voice for the last time. She was screaming and shouting at the boys who were beating him. They'd found him and decided that stealing from him wasn't enough. These were bad streets filled with dark alleyways which Dan knew to avoid. Yet he was dragged into one and beaten nearly unconscious before his own mother had to come and save him.

He didn't remember much about that night apart from seeing his mother lying in a pool of her own blood beside him. He was too concussed and sore to do anything but cry her name over and over again, just wishing she'd respond. But of course she didn't. she was out of it and Dan was not only terrified for his life but now for his mothers.

After that night everything became a blur to Dan. His life began to merge into long tortuous nights were he'd have that same nightmare over and over again. He'd cry and cry and as much as people tried to help no one could. They tried to tell him it wasn't his fault but he knew it really was. If they hadn't argued, if he hadn't left then she'd be okay. Everyone would be okay and they would be happy. It was all his fault and no matter how much time passed he knew that was always going to be true.

And so they don't talk about it. PJ knows better than to talk about Dan's mum. Dan doesn't necessarily cry. He just gets really quiet with this far away look on his face which scares PJ a lot more than if Dan were to actually cry.

So that's why don't talk about his mum. Most their conversations have become about a person who is very important in Dan's life now. Dan would never admit to Phil being a special person but even the way Dan talks about him PJ can tell that Dan really does like Phil and doesn't hate him as much as he likes to put across. He's not in love with him but Dan's never been in love with anyone before so PJ really wouldn't know what that was like. But whether it's romantic or platonic love, it's obvious that Dan is really starting to love Phil in a way which PJ thinks is really beautiful. The one problem is, Dan doesn't even realise this.

"I think he's right, you know"

"Who's right?"

"Phil's uncle. Phil is an open book. You just need to learn how to read him"

Dan didn't know what to say. He wanted to come up with some sassy remark or even a comeback but he couldn't. PJ's words actually made sense because he really was right. Phil was so easy to understand if you knew how he worked, yet Dan didn't know how. That was the only problem.

"How though, How am I supposed to learn how to read him? It's easy enough to say that but to actually be able to get close to him and understand him isn't as easy"

"You really don't see it, do you?"

"I guess I really don't" Dan mumbled with a small sigh as he leaned back in his seat.

"Show him you're interested Dan. I know you want to know more about him so why don't you try?"

"Because that's-"

PJ just shook his head, his hands clasping together as he looked up from his lap and into his friends eyes with what Dan could only describe a s stern look.

"If you want to make the effort then make the effort. He's going to stop trying if you continue like this so go for it. Actually show him that you're interested and then maybe things will work out. You'll never know what can happen unless you try Dan. Just try and maybe it'll turn out that he is the one"

/

"Can I get you anything Mr Lester?"

Mr Lester. Dan didn't think he'd ever get used to be referred to by that. It felt like he wasn't being addressed at all when he heard that but this little part at the back of his brain made him realise that yes that's you. You're Mr Lester now and you're always going to be. Dan still didn't know how he felt about that honestly.

"Please, call me Dan" he replied in his most polite voice with the best forced smile he could conjure. "And I'm fine, thanks"

"Sure, Dan" the woman greeted with an actual genuine smile as she opened the fridge door and peered inside before taking out a baby bottle for the child that was sitting a few meters away in cheap looking high chair.

Everything in this house looked cheap and run down. Not that Dan was one to judge people much but being in a house this run down and really not up to standards of living made him a little uncomfortable. It was more just he'd never seen a house like this and wasn't sure what to think. The family that lived here were lovely, or so he thought from what he'd seen of them already.

When they'd arrived a man about the same age as Dan has greeted them and gave Phil a huge hug as he grinned wildly. Dan wasn't quite sure what this man -or this family- meant to Phil but he guessed they must have had a special place in Phil's heart from just the way they acted.

"It's always lovely to see Phil again" the woman added, making her way over to her daughter and handing the scruffy looking toddler he bottle which she gladly accepted. "Your husband has helped us so much it's always a pleasure to see him"

Dan wasn't sure what to say to that. Phil hadn't told him anything about this family at all. He'd just told Dan he was going to do some work and asked if he wanted to come along. Much to Phil's surprise Dan had said yes and so they'd left the house together with Phil feeling sort of confused and Dan feeling incredibly nervous. After much thought Dan realised the only way to get to know Phil was too try find out what he likes and what he acts like around other people.

"Before Phil helped us I thought every night would be my last"

"How did he help?" Dan asked softly, generally interested in how Phil could have helped these people.

"He's helped the whole neighbourhood. Many of us were homeless, just trying to get by on the odd visit to the soup kitchen. We nearly lost our little Valery a few times because of the cold and lack of food we could give her. Being homeless was a nightmare and when we had Valery it became so much worse. Every day was about surviving and trying to keep ourselves alive." she paused, her eyes shifting to gaze fondly at the now smiling toddler. It was very obvious to Dan that this woman had a lot of love for her child and that she was so happy to be here. Even thought they were in a rough looking neighbourhood in a not so nice house they were happy and to Dan that just seemed so amazing.

"Did he help you get off the streets then?"

"Yeah" she nodded, her gaze flickering back to Dan "He helped both Michael and I find jobs and set us up in this house. He paid most of the expenses and even helped us pay for clothes and the essentials for Valery. We really can't thank him enough for what he's done for us. We literally saved our lives."

"Wow…I had no idea he had done that. That's a really generous thing to do"

"Take my advice here. You keep a hold of him because he is the best man I have ever meet. Men like him don't exist anymore. He's just the perfect man. Sweet, generous, caring. You're lucky to have such an amazing husband"

/

Dan never could have imagined helping people could make him feel so good. Just getting to see their smiling faces and how happy they were from receiving a single meal and some kindness. Dan had found throughout the day that he felt incredibly lucky to live in a nice house and have enough money to pay for food and shelter. Seeing how other people lived actually make him feel a lot of emotions which he could describe apart from maybe that he felt sorry for them. He felt sorry for them and had this urge to help because these people who were so much less fortunate then him were so lovely and incredibly polite. He was taught from school and peers that homeless people were all dug addicts and would stab you if you went near him but he realised now that was all just a big stigma around the subject. These people were no doubt the loveliest people he'd ever meet in his life.

"Excuse me boys, Who was responsible for this evenings spaghetti?"

Dan blinked a few times as an older looking man with a grey beard spoke, looking from Phil to him and back again with a small smile on his lips.

"That would be my husband here" Phil replied with a smile as he gently lay his hand on Dan's back and moved him forward just the tiniest bit. "He's a great cook, isn't he"

The man's eyes lit up as his smile grew. "He is. It was the best meal I've had in a long time."

Dan felt heat rising too his cheeks as he averted his eyes from the man "Thank you" he mumbled as he tried to hide is reddening face. Phil just laughed, rubbing Dan's back as he smiled at the older man.

"He's pretty bad at taking compliments, sorry"

"It's fine" he answered, a smile appearing on his face again "I'm really glad you boys are helping the community like this. It restores my faith in humanity, it really does"

"We're glad to help. I'd do anything to help you guys out. Just because you're not as fortunate as us doesn't mean you're any less of a person"

"Thank you, that means a lot to hear you say that" the man said as he delicately held his hand out for Phil to shake "I was lovely meeting you boys"

Phil took a hold of the man's hand and have him a firm handshake. Dan noticed that the smile didn't even falter as he watched the man make his way back to the group of men he was sitting with before. Maybe it was then that Dan really did realise that Phil's kindness and genuine happiness to help people was real. Dan had always believed people put on an act to look good but with Phil it was different. Phil was happy just from making someone even smile.

He truly was a great man.

/

Maybe it was the fact Dan was so over whelmed by everything that had happened that day that he didn't get to say what he wanted to say until they were in the car on the way home. Spending the day helping people had been absolutely incredibly and Dan actually enjoyed it a lot more than he thought he would. But although he felt content and a little bit hazy because of his tired state the same question still rang in his head loud and clear.

"Why do you do it?"

Phil didn't answer at first. He just kept his eyes on the road with that same relaxed expression on his face. "Why? Because I like helping people is why"

"But what does this give you? This isn't your job and you don't get anything out of helping them, so why?"

Phil turned to glance at Dan then, an uneasy look taking over his features as he turned to look at the road again. "The happiness of others is a great thing. If I know by doing something I can bring someone happiness then I'll do it. Seeing people happy makes me feel happy and that's honestly why I love doing all this. Working within the community is such a rewarding experience which I never understood until I did it"

"But-"

"There are no bad things about it. The charity which is running the homeless centre has saved a lot of lives. I try to donate as much as I can a month towards it because people who aren't as fortunate as us still deserve the chance to live and enjoy life. That family you meet this morning where the first people that ever really caught my eye and made me think about getting involved with helping. They were at the hospital with their daughter Valery the night my dad passed away. Although my family needed me for support this one couple with a daughter so malnourished she was on deaths doorstep caught my eye. They were lovely people and they have happy lives now because I helped them. Every time I see little Valery's smiling face it just fills me with so much joy to know I helped that family become a happy family with an actual purpose in life apart from keeping themselves alive"

Dan didn't say anything. He couldn't in that moment because he was so awe-struck by what Phil had just said. Dan had never ever imagined anyone could ever be so selfless and caring.

"You're probably the nicest guy I've ever met, you know"

Phil glanced across again, a smile appearing on his lips as he looked at Dan for longer than he probably should have. No matter what he was doing Phil seemed to look at Dan with such love in his eyes that it almost scared Dan.

"Hey, Dan? I don't suppose you'd want to come with me to an event tomorrow?"

"An event?"

"The charity that runs the homeless centre are funding a sort of evening out for everyone in the community centre. I know it sounds sort of lame but I could be fun. I mean, you don't have to come if you don't want to-"

"Sure, I'll come along"

/

"Thanks again for helping organise this Phil. Everyone is so thankful for everything you've done for us"

"It was no problem. You know I love to help you out as much as possible"

"I know, it's just really amazing to see everyone this happy. You did a great job Phil. I'll see you next Monday, yeah?"

"Of course. Monday at the usual time"

Everyone all around had smiles on their faces as they chatted excitedly. This was the sort of atmosphere Dan didn't even know was possible to achieve. Everyone just seemed so happy and content. Even the children who were playing with a dolls house in the corner seemed so happy. It was crazy to Dan that them being in a warm place with a happy atmosphere could bring this many people such joy.

And then there was Phil. Dan didn't think he'd ever seen Phil look so happy before. He had the biggest smile spread across his face and he received hugs and handshakes from several groups of people.

It was weird to Dan to think anyone could ever be this happy. Was this really what made people happy? Was this what made Phil happy?

Dan was starting to think he'd never truly get to know Phil. He'd heard so many things over the last few days which he didn't understand. Suddenly being surrounded by everyone who knew so much more about Phil than he did made him feel uneasy and incredibly uncomfortable. And after an hour of watching everyone having a good time and Phil joking alone with people Dan didn't even know, he decided he needed a break from it all.

So that's how he found himself sitting outside the building trying to piece his thoughts together as his head buzzed. He was so confused by the feelings he was feeling and really didn't know what do with them all. There was this dull ache in heart and he knew exactly what had caused it. The reason he didn't get close to anyone and hated being touched was for one very selfish reason which he couldn't let anyone know. Even feelings of like brought out that dull ache but what Dan knew he was feeling towards Phil was more than any feeling he'd ever felt. It was like suddenly Phil meant a lot more than he ever had.

"You do know the party is inside right?"

Dan had to stop himself from gasping out of shock. He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even heard Phil approach him at all. Phil gave him a strange look before sitting down in the step beside him.

"It's no fun being alone, so I thought I'd join you"

Phil kept his gaze on Dan even when the younger boy didn't answer. Dan felt awkward an anxious then as a million thoughts and feelings surged through him. Why did seeing Phil make him feel like this?

"Tell me if I'm reading too much into this, but you seem kinda tense and out of it. I mean, yesterday you seemed to be enjoying yourself but now…is it something I did?"

"No, no. it's nothing you did" Dan paused, his gaze shifting from the ground to Phil "I…Can I be honest with you?"

Phil nodded, watching Dan carefully as he slowly moved his hand on top of Dan's. "Of course, you know you can tell me anything"

"I don't know what's up with me but seeing you with everyone and seeing how happy they make you it just- I don't know"

"Don't know what?"

"I feel as if I don't know anything about you" he said as he finally looked into Phil's eyes properly. Phil didn't reply with words but with gesture. He rubbed his thumb over the back of Dan's hand before gently taking Dan's hand in his"

"What do you mean Dan?"

"I mean there's just so much I don't know about you. Like even really trivial things like what your favourite colour is, what's your favourite meal. I don't know anything about you. I thought maybe if I tried to be around you as much as possibly I'd get to know even a little bit about you"

Phil didn't react at first, taking in everything Dan had said before even trying to formulate a reply in his head "Wait, so you've been spending all this time with me recently because you want to get to know me?"

Dan just sighed, looking to the ground again as a small blush covered his cheeks "Your uncle said you're an open book. That if I tried hard enough I could read you and know everything about you. And it's true that you really are like that but…"

"But what?"

"I…I don't know"

And that's when the silence fell upon them. The silence which couldn't be interrupted by the party just metres away in the small white building no matter how loudly people talked. The silence which both left them anxious and wanting to say something but not knowing what to say.

"…Do you still want to know?"

"What?"

"If you want to know about me, I'll tell you. Because really, I am like an open book. It is so easy to read me and I know that. The problem is Dan, you're too worried about the little details on the pages you haven't seen yet. But the best part about it is, you're like a book too"

"…I am?"

"Of course. I don't know what the pages before the one I'm reading say but from what I'm reading now I can guess at how the next dew pages will look. The thing about books are that you don't need to read from the start to understand. Just like books people have memories which they like to be kept in those pages we don't see. Yet those memories sometimes shine through in later pages and that's how we find out"

"Phil, you-"

"You may not know how my past pages look and I don't know how yours look. But from the page I'm on, I know both our next pages are going in the same direction" he smiled, squeezing Dan's hand as he looked into the younger boy's eyes.

"This is a new chapter Dan. A chapter which I can show you"

"You can show me?"

"Yeah, I can. I can show you how it starts if you like?"

Dan had a small smile stretched across his lips by now as he watched that little twinkle shining in Phil's eye. "I think I would like that" he replied as his smile grew.

Phil stood up, holding his hand out to Dan. "You need to stand up for me to show you accurately" Dan had to hold back a laugh as he watched Phil's almost goofy smile now. He took Phil's hand once again and felt a tug as he was pulled to stand up.

"See, it starts with a dance" Phil said as he did a sort of half bow as he held onto Dan's hand "It's the countries finest ball and all the princes in the kingdom have been invited. But two princes stand out from the crowd. Everyone turns to look as they hear the older prince ask the younger prince if he may have this dance"

Dan really did laugh then because he couldn't tell if Phil was trying to be serious or not here. These were the sort of things Dan acted out when he played alone as a child. And now he was standing next to his husband giggling like a little school girl actually acting out something which he thought really only did happen in fairy tales.

"The older prince is still waiting for the younger prince to reply" Phil said softly as he squeezed Dan's hand as if to say he really did have to answer.

"The younger prince gladly accepted the dance" Dan tried to say through laughter as he felt Phil pull him closer "Although the younger prince was very nervous because he can't dance"

"The older prince noticed how nervous the younger prince was and told him not to worry because he couldn't dance either" Phil's smile grew as he saw a matching smile on Dan's face "The younger prince seemed happy at that and so the grand dance began"

Dan laughed once again as he felt Phil's arm slip around his waist as Dan placed his hand on Phil's shoulder. Phil began to sway them softly, not even attempting to try dance. It was then that Dan realised that he wasn't uncomfortable anymore. That Phil was touching him and was so incredibly close that Dan should have been freaking out but he wasn't. Dan felt comfortable and for the first in a long time he actually felt happy.

"And it's as they're dancing that the older prince says something which he really means" Phil gently cupped Dan's check with the hand which was previously around Dan's waist. "You're beautiful. Really beautiful and I am so lucky to have met you"

A small blush rose to Dan's cheeks but he didn't try look away this time. His smile just widened as his gaze was kept on Phil's eyes. He didn't know if he should say anything in that moment because everything just seemed so perfect and amazing that he didn't want to ruin it.

With that perfect moment came that feeling again. That warm feeling in Dan's stomach which now felt so amazing that he was so close to Phil. The dull ache in his heart was still there but somehow that warm sensation dulled that even more until even just the feeling of Phil's fingers holding his hand with such care made the pain go away.

If Dan thought being close to Phil felt nice, he didn't even know how to explain what he felt when Phil's lips pressed against his.

He felt happy and loved for the first time in his entire life. And all because of a kiss which he never knew he even wanted.