Disclaimer: Harry Potter and it's characters belong to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing except my original characters and plot.
A/N: I wrote this chapter based off of song by one of my favorite artists. the song is called 'let it out' by Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes. you can find the song on youtube. my chapter won't follow the lyrics to the letter, but it is based on it. i will be posting the lyrics in italic letters.
Chances
Rose was currently sitting in the Astronomy Tower. Hardly anyone ever came to the tower because of what happened. It's now called The Lightning-Struck Tower. Only a handful of people knew the true story. It had always been Rose's 'safe' place. The one place she could hide and think. A place where there was no one to bother her.
When she left her friends sitting by the lake she went to the bathroom to clean herself up. She went back to her friends and the subject was changed again. They went to dinner, everything was back to normal. After dinner they headed back to their dorm to work on their homework. She said she needed something from the library and found herself sitting in the Astronomy Tower instead.
50/50 chance is what she was contemplating. She wanted to tell her friends what happened, so bad but there was a fifty percent chance they would choose her mom and Aunt Ginny's side. She loved her best friends, there was no doubt. She always told them everything going in her life, since the first year of Hogwarts. Mid-sixth year a traumatizing event happened in her life. The first person she tried to turn to was her mother because that's what a child does. Her mother ended up telling her she was a disappointment and that she expected more. Then she turned to the next person she trusts, an aunty. She told her Aunt Ginny and her reaction was the same as her mother. Ginny made it worse though by telling Rose she should be ashamed of herself.
At this point in her life, her friends meant everything to her. She wouldn't be able to withstand them taking the other side instead of her side. The only way she was able to recover from her mother and aunty not taking her side was by knowing she still had her two best friends. The secret she was keeping was taking a toll on her though. The wall she built was starting to crack around the edges. She spent a lot of time building the wall. Why does that happen? As solid as stone is, why does it crumble so easily sometimes?
It started raining as she was sitting in the Astronomy Tower. In her fourth year she learned a spell to make the roof of the tower to disappear. She figured no one would notice since it's abandoned. She loved the rain. The feel of it on her face, the smell of it; most of all though, the fact that no one was able to tell if you're crying in the rain. All the tears she was holding back, she let them go. She let it slide down her face along with the rain. She needed to trust her friends and tell them what happened but at the same time she was scared. Afraid they might judge her, criticize her, lecture her; anything that was negative was possible.
In the end she pulled her pocket mirror out and checked if she looked okay. After about a minute of analyzing her face, she stood up and headed back to the Gryffindor common room. She said the password to the portrait and it granted her entrance. She took a deep breath for encouragement before she stepped into the portrait hole. She waved to her cousin Roxanne before heading up to her dorm. As she stepped back into the room, her friends immediately had worry written all over their faces. She mentally smacked herself for forgetting about her wet hair.
"Rose have you been crying?" Mimi asked with concern in her voice.
"How do you know things like that?" Rose asked incredulously.
"We're your best friends. Duh." Kianna said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Rose gave a weak smile. "I was just trying to decide something, that's all."
Both friends scoffed and gave her a look. "Do you really think we wouldn't notice things have changed with you? You used to love barrettes. It was your thing. And now it isn't? You don't want to come to Hogsmeade with us. Whenever the topic of Hogsmeade comes up you get this sad look in your eyes and it kills us. It kills us because we feel like you're not allowing us to be there for you like you've been there for us." As everything Kianna said sunk in, Rose could feel tears welling up again. She was hoping they wouldn't notice but they are her best friends after all.
Mimi nodded and added, "Remember when I had my bulimia problem? You and Kianna helped me through it. Remember when Kianna's dad passed away? We helped her through that. We aren't here to judge. We are here to be there for you like you have always been there for us. We deserve a chance."
A chance.
They were right.
They deserved a chance like how they gave her a chance. She let out a little sigh and sat at the edge of her bed. "On my birthday last I went out with my family and had a few drinks. I kept having drink after drink because I figured what the hell, right? It's my birthday.
The alarm clock rung
Momma woke her out the bed
She's gettin' dressed for school
Puttin' barrettes in her head
An honor roll student real smart
That's what they said
"We counted down to the New Year and my birthday, everything was fine. Around 12:30 my mom told me I was having a little too much to drink. I started arguing with her and telling her all she cares about is her 'perfect' reputation. It's like… when she became the Minister of Magic she stopped caring about her family and started caring more about her reputation. Anyways, I didn't want to argue with her anymore so I went for a walk to clear my head. I didn't have a direction, I just walked. My mom took my wand away because she said I was too inebriated. Is that not the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard?" Rose laughed with no humor in her voice.
Now here she go
Went to meet her friends
At the bus stop
On the avenue
That's when the old Cadillac dropped
The man that was drivin'
Snatched her up around 8 o'clock
While her friends and the bus driver
Waitin' down the block
"As I was walking, a guy grabbed me from behind and put his wand to my throat. He said if I screamed he would use the Avada Kedavra curse on me. In my drunken state, I did as I was told and kept silent. I could've elbowed him or stomped on his foot or kicked him but I wasn't thinking because I was too drunk and scared.
No one heard her screamin'
He turned the bass up a notch
"He led me to the shrieking shack. When we got there, he didn't bother holding his wand at my throat anymore, instead sticking it in my spine and telling me to walk ahead of him. He told me to go upstairs. Then he told me to take my clothes off or he would magic them away and keep them. I did as I was told. Then he told me to lie on the filthy bed face down.
She was tampered with
Second floor in an abandoned spot
No telephone around
So she couldn't call the cops
"The whole time I was cursing my mom for taking my wand away. I didn't start crying until he took my virginity. I wanted to lose my virginity to a guy I loved but no. He not only stripped me of my clothes but my dignity, pride and virginity. As he was thrusting into me, he held my head down with his filthy fingers. As he was holding my head down, my barrette started digging into my scalp. I couldn't take it off, I couldn't do anything but lay there and pray for it to be over. 12 minutes. That's how long it took for him to be finished. 12 minutes of my life I will never get back. 12 minutes of screaming until my throat was hoarse.
The school bell rung
For the first hour of school
Her teacher called her moms
Cuz she thinks she's skippin' school
But if only they knew
What was really goin' on
She's cryin' for your help
While y'all talkin' on the phone
The teacher's on the wrong subject
Sayin' that she think she grown
Somebody call the police
"I finally sobered up enough to think straight and I elbowed him off of me. Wrestling with my male cousins gave me enough strength to throw him off of me. I tried to run out of the room, I didn't care if I was still naked. Before I got through the threshold, I hit an invisible shield and flew back.
Now back to the abandoned spot
Where she's tryin' to pick the lock
So he threw her in his 'lac
Ridin' with the doors locked
Drove her through the woods
That was right around the block
Dropped her off at the hospital
In the parking lot
"He got up and pulled me up by my hair. He slapped me and called me a bitch. He slashed his wand and cut my stomach. He laughed and called me a bitch. He pushed me back onto the bed and used the Crucio curse on me. He laughed and laughed while I thrashed around and screamed while an invisible force attacked my mind and body. I begged and tried to bribe. I said 'please' over and over. By the time he was done, I was curled up in the fetal position. I remember his laugh, like it was burned into my mind while he was torturing me. It was cold, heartless. During this whole process, I didn't even think to memorize his face. The one thing I could have done and I didn't. Before he left, he healed my cut and made sure there was no other physical marks on my body. I stayed there for another 20 minutes crying. I didn't think I had any tears left in me but I did. When I finally got up, my entire body was aching. I put my clothes back on and headed back to The Three Broomsticks.
The school bell rung
For the end of a class
At the same time
She was runnin' in the flash
To go and call her mother
"As I neared, there were a lot of people standing outside. I recognized my mom and immediately ran to her. She said my name with relief in her voice. It was only her and my dad there, apparently all my other family were searching the streets for me. I told her what happened and this look came onto her face. I didn't know what it was at the time. Once I finished my story she told me to stop making up wild stories on why I disappeared and told me to tell the truth. That I was with an older guy and that she warned me about older guys before. She said that I was getting too out of hand with my drinking and accusing me of sleeping with older guys. Then, she said the worst thing possible. She said she was disappointed in me and expected more. She should have just slapped me. It would have hurt less.
And when she finally seen her
Speculation filled the air
Her momma don't believe her
She's keeps callin' her tricks and whores
Sayin' I told you 'bout them older men before
Her father didn't neither
Afraid to face the sticks and stones
And now she's searchin' for the grace to carry on
It's a damn shame
"I turned to my dad, hoping he would believe me. He just stood there, quiet. When my other family came back, I was too speechless to say anything. My mom apparated me back to the house and my dad apparated Hugo. The first thing I did was have a shower. I scrubbed and scrubbed but it felt like I could never wash the filth away. I felt like a filthy whore. After I got out of the shower, I just put a robe on and went to my room. As I lay there, I was thinking of who would believe my story. Obviously, I thought of you two but you were both out of town and I didn't want to tell you by letter. The next person I thought of was my Aunt Ginny. The next day I floo'ed to her house before anyone woke up. Thankfully, she was awake and having tea in the kitchen. I sat down in the kitchen and she poured me a cup of tea while I told her everything that happened. The same look came into her eyes when I told her what my mom said. I realized it was a look of disappointment. She said the same things my mom said but made it worse. She said 'what did you expect? Wearing all those trashy clothes and flirting with guys while you're drunk. You should be ashamed of yourself for telling such a horrible lie.' Again, she should have just slapped me. From that day forward, that's what I felt: shame. I felt like it was my fault. I racked my brain trying to wonder if I did bring it on myself. I didn't want to tell anyone after the fiasco of telling my aunt. I didn't want to feel that pain anymore. So I built a wall and shut everyone out. I felt safe in my wall. But with every wall, over time it crumbles. I was scared to tell you guys because I thought you'd take my mom and Aunt Ginny's side. I thought you would say the same thing. I could handle my mom and aunt thinking of me as a disappointment because I knew I had you guys. I was afraid if I told you, I would lose you two too…" Rose couldn't speak anymore as she broke into uncontrollable sobs.
Damn shame
That someone would want to mess with you
And you just can't get them out your mind
Try to replace bad times with smiles
Let it out
Out right now
I know it's hard to talk about
You gotta keep going on with your life
Letting it out
Both of her friends sat on each side of her and hugged her hard, never wanting to let go.
"Oh, Rose. That's so horrible what happened to you." Kianna said soothingly, while rubbing her back. "I wish you would have told us sooner. We would never say the things your mother and aunt said. We will always have your back."
"R-re-really" Rose choked out between sobs.
"Of course" both her friends said at the same time.
"We are all best friends. This right here, is a safe zone. Nothing you say will ever affect the ties between us. We will always be here for you." Rose looked at Mimi and cried even harder from the words she spoke.
Tears streamed down Kianna and Mimi's face also from the story they just heard. Kianna wanted to kick that guy's ass while Mimi couldn't believe how horrible it must have been for Rose keeping a secret like that bottled up.
A half hour later, Rose's sobs grew softer until she started snoring a little. Her friends gently laid her down and still kept by her side. They didn't realize how late it was. All three ended up falling asleep on Rose's bed.
In the middle of the night, Rose started screaming and thrashing around. Her friends hugged her tightly telling her she has nothing to worry about, that it was only them. Rose didn't wake up from the nightmare and kept trying to break free from her friends grips. They kept holding her until her thrashes got weaker and weaker.
As Kianna lay there, she kept trying to figure out a way to find out the identity of the guy who did this to her.
Mimi was weeping silently for her best friend and kept wondering how such a terrible hand could be dealt to such an undeserving person.
Both friends lay there, afraid to fall asleep.
Next time on His Gryffindor Minx: The first Quidditch match of the year. Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw. who will win?
o.O