Disclaimer: Harry Potter and its characters belong to JK Rowling. I own nothing.
A/N: so i wrote this chapter expecting Rose to be nothing but angry. however, it took its own course halfway through. sorry about the delay
Light Pierces Through Darkness
Rose had been living on "basic mode" for the past couple of weeks. Only her two best friends could tell. "Basic mode" only consists of eating, sleeping and going to class. No emotions, no smiling, barely talking and laughing. It was starting to alarm her two friends but they didn't know what to do. They said their comforting words at the ruined Potter house. There were no other comforting words to console their friend with. In the end, they decided to just keep a close eye on Rose and let it ride out; whatever "it" was. They didn't pretend they knew what Rose was going through. Only Rose herself knew what she was going through.
She could still feel Scorpius' gaze on her every now and then. She was mostly keeping to herself lately. She was always listening to her iPod, not giving anyone a chance to talk to her. She knew her friends were worried. She could see it written all over theirs faces and actions.
She felt exhausted. All her stress was weighing down on her. She thought she finally dealt with being a victim of rape. But then the whole thanksgiving fiasco threw her right back where she started. She wished she could just turn off her feelings; to not feel anything just for an hour at least. She noticed her cousins started gathering and whispering, giving her looks like she was the topic of their conversations. That isn't a good sign. How much more did she have to deal with? She mentally sighed.
Halfway through the second week after thanksgiving, Rose got a note from her cousins. Family meeting in the Room of Requirement was the single sentence. 'Great' was her sarcastic though, 'Just great.' She could already see the meeting in her mind. Her family obviously heard about the thanksgiving fiasco. She guessed that they're thinking she needs an "intervention" about her attitude. And her guesses were usually right. Her friends saw her reading the note and asked what it was. She gave them the note.
"Do you want us to come with you for support?" Mimi asked.
"No, I'll be fine." Rose gave a small smile. The smile didn't reassure her friends.
At 7pm later that night, she headed to the Room of Requirement. Her head was swirling with thoughts. What did they want? All the cousins that are still in school usually kept to themselves. They all had their own circle of friends. Her mind felt like a hurricane was taking place in it.
She distracted herself by thinking of Halloween coming up. She was excited about it. She had her dad specially order in a costume for her. Rose and her friends made a pact in third year: they each couldn't see their costumes until the actual night of Halloween. She figured it was almost time to get out her fake blonde dye and put it in her hair for the occasion. This year she was going as Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix. She felt like she had a connection to her. She loved how beautiful and majestic the Dark Phoenix looks. She loved how tortured she looked but instead of sorrow, she turned it into a deadly destructive force. Rose had a sense there was a story behind the whole Dark Phoenix character. She didn't know the story though, she just had a sense there was one. Everyone or everything always had a history, a past.
Before she realized it, she was standing in front of the tapestry. She paced three times in front of the blank wall. On the third turn, a door materialized on the wall, like an artist had drawn it on the wall. She turned the door knob and mentally braced herself for whatever was to come. Thoughts of the past enveloped her before she stepped through the threshold. Back in her first year, all her cousins were at Hogwarts except Teddy. He graduated the year before. Her first time stepping through the threshold for a family meeting, all 10 of her cousins were there, including her brother Hugo. Now only Hugo and 5 of her cousins stood in the room. She gave a small smile of acknowledgement to her family but they didn't return it. 'Figured' she thought to herself.
Albus, being the oldest other than her and Dominique, spoke first. "We're having this family meeting because we're concerned about you Rose. First, you detached yourself from your own family and now the thanksgiving incident."
Rose didn't reply. She just stood there silent.
It was Dominique who spoke now. "When is this cry for attention going to stop? What will it take for it to stop?" She looked at Rose with an air of authority.
Rose felt like slapping her. Roxanne, Dominique and Louis were so full of themselves because of the Veela blood in them. They always had to be the centre of attention. And if they weren't, they did everything in their power to be the centre of attention again. Of course they would assume she was doing everything for attention. It was the easiest solution to come up with. Rose still remained quiet but started glaring daggers at Dominique.
"We miss you, Rose." It was Lucy who spoke up now. She was always the voice of reason. "Remember how close we used to all be as a family? We did everything together. We miss our cousin."
"We want to stand side by side and be strong and support you, as a family." Lily added.
"Oh, now you want to support me? Where were all of you when I needed you the most?"
Dominique huffed in annoyance. "What the hell does that mean? We've always been close by if you ever needed us."
"What about that night?"
The 'night' she was referring to was when her parents called her a liar and told her they were disappointed in her. Albus, Lily, Lucy and Hugo flinched. Louis and Dominique remained unfazed.
"All of you were there when I was called a liar. Why didn't any of you stand by me then?"
"Because you were lying" Dominique all but spat.
"Dom" Lucy said warningly.
The 'family meeting' was starting to take a wrong turn.
"Why are you doing this anyways, Rose? What do you want to gain from it?"
"Doing what?" Rose challenged Albus.
"Trying to get attention. We used to be so close, you and I. I don't even recognize you right now." Rose felt like she had been slapped. The hurt showed on her face, but it was gone just as quick. "This person who lashes out at family and shows no emotions, I don't know her."
"Did we all not grow up in the same family?" Rose asked. She was starting to shake a little from all the anger that was coursing through her veins.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily asked.
"The Potter fucking Weasley family!" Rose screamed. Albus' sentence finally broke her cool. "Our WHOLE lives, we've been in the spotlight. The first time we got a haircut, our first words, the first time we walked, everything! It was always splattered all over the news because our family were the fucking saviors of the Wizarding World! Then my mom became the Minister of Magic, which made it worse for me. Did anyone ever consider me? My feelings? We're here having this meeting and you're all only considering yourselves. Worried about our image as a family." Rose felt like spitting the last word like it was disgusting but she didn't.
"There she goes again." Dominique rolled her eyes.
Rose turned her blazing gaze on Dominique. "I asked all of you a question."
"No you didn't." Dominique flicked her hair.
"Yes, I did."
"What, then?"
"Did we all not grow up in the same family?"
"Duh."
"Then tell me, please, what would be considered as trying to get attention?" Everyone remained quiet at this question. "That's what I thought. If I only wanted attention, I would have done drugs or stayed out days and weeks doing nothing but partying. The drugs I did do, I only took in small doses. The partying I kept at a minimal. Or worst of all, if I really wanted attention, I would have attempted suicide. I thought of it, you know. But not because of wanting attention, because of something else."
"What was it that made you think of it?" Lucy said quietly, close to a whisper.
"Because I was the victim of rape. For weeks afterward, I kept blaming myself. I called myself stupid and all sorts of names. Then one day I kept smelling something. That something I smelled that night. And I tried to wash it away, I scrubbed for hours. I used all the soap and body wash but I kept smelling it. Then it felt like it was in my blood, coursing through my veins. It felt like it was eating me inside out. I felt pain all over my body for months. This kind of pain felt like a flesh eating virus. No matter how hard I scrubbed, or how hard I willed it in, it always felt like it was running through my veins, to my heart and brain. It was a slow moving pain. It started in my hands and feet. I felt like slitting my wrists to watch it bleed out of me. I almost did but stopped myself at the last minute. Before I knew it, it was the end of summer and my only thought was my two best friends. I couldn't leave them behind if I slit my wrists. I didn't want to pass on the virus to them, because that's how it felt: contagious. If I ended my own life that's all I would be ending. The virus would remain intact and pass onto to the next person I loved the most. I didn't want to pass on that kind of pain to them. They didn't deserve that kind of pain. I came back to school expecting to hide the pain, mask it. My friends saw right through it right away but didn't push me to spill it. The little things they were doing felt like it was pushing some of my pain out through my pores. One night, I couldn't take it anymore. The little bit of relief I got, I wanted more of it. I finally told my friends. I was scared they would judge me, strike me down with a force compared to Merlin's. After I finished telling them everything, I braced myself for the blow. I expected them to tell me to feel the shame I've been feeling but feel more of it. I closed my eyes, waiting for the strike. Instead, I felt warmth. I opened my eyes to find them hugging me, loving me. They whispered that it was going to be okay. All the pain welled up in my eyes and just started pouring out. After it was all out, I felt empty. My body was waiting for a new emotion. Days before thanksgiving, I realized the new emotion: love. It was so bright, beautiful, warm and intoxicating. I felt like I was on a whole other level with my two friends. A level filled with euphoria. It made me forget everything. Then thanksgiving came, and my happy bubble burst. I forgot what my mom and aunt said to me that night. Anger reared its ugly head and drove me to do actions I never thought I was capable of doing. Anger roared through my veins and gave me adrenaline, a high. It felt like a drug. After everything was said and done, I felt the effects. And I needed to get away, to feel the shame of what I said and did. My friends found me. The used the same magic from last time: love. I came back to school expecting to only feel love but there was something new. Something I didn't expect: regret and remorse. The thanksgiving incident, I could've handled it better. I didn't though, I let anger fuel my body. I came here, bracing for a fight. I expected it and I was ready. But talking to you all, I realized that I don't need to fight, lash out. So that's my story. I hope it answers all of your questions and concerns." Rose took one final look at each of cousins before leaving the Room of Requirement and heading back to the Gryffindor Tower.
Arriving at the common room, she headed up to her dorm. Kianna and Mimi were talking about Halloween when Rose entered the room. They both looked at her, Mimi trying to read her expression.
"How was it?" Rose looked at Kianna, she gave a genuine smile.
"Enlightening."
She sat down on her bed, joining in the conversation about Halloween. As she watched her two friends talk animatedly, she thought life couldn't be more perfect.
Awww :)
Next time on His Gryffindor Minx: Halloween has arrived. the one night everyone can pretend to be someone else. lily's hosting a party in the Room of Requirement. any guesses on Mimi's and Kianna's costume? something is going to shock Rose stupid. what will it be? it's a night full of surprises and treats!