General Craziness :: The Therapy

"Want to go out for lunch?" Phoenix asked, striding into the main area of the office. Maya and Apollo sat on the couch, and Athena was perched in the chair with some paperwork from her latest trial.

"Sure. Burgers?" Apollo asked, knowing what the spirit medium would request.

Athena wrinkled her nose. "Burgers again? This would be the third time in the last week."

"You say that like it's a problem," Maya said.

"Noodles?" Phoenix suggested.

"If they're from Eldoon's, I don't want anything to do with them," Apollo said. "Last time we went, I swear I couldn't taste for a week. Pretty sure all Mr. Eldoon does is empty a salt shaker into a bowl of water and add noodles."

Maya shuddered. "No noodles."

"How about sandwiches?" Athena asked. "There's this great place just down the street—"

"You know, Nick, I think I'll pass," Maya said suddenly. Her face was pale, and before anyone could stop her, she had rushed out of the room.

"That was strange," Apollo said, looking at the door she'd just exited from.

Phoenix scratched the back of his head. "You can say that again. Sandwiches, huh?" He racked his brain, but he couldn't think of a reason why sandwiches had thrown her off that badly. After all, the two of them had gone out for sandwiches loads of times when she was his assistant.

"Maybe something happened?" Athena asked. "She was scared."

"How do you become scared of sandwiches?" Apollo asked.

Phoenix waved them off. "Go get your sandwiches. I'm going to talk with her."

Eventually, Phoenix managed to coax her out of the Wright Anything Agency with the promise of burgers and a visit to the Prosecutor's Office. They'd been going every day since their entry into Dahlia's spirit world, since it seemed like a bad idea to leave Edgeworth alone with his thoughts. The man always looked impressively excited to see Maya, which tickled the spirit medium to no end, but Edgeworth's enthusiasm at his own presence was limited. He assumed it must have been that "fate worse than death" thing and tried not to take it personally.

"Hey, want to grab a burger?" Phoenix asked as they entered the High Prosecutor's office, stopping suddenly when they saw Edgeworth. "Um, are we interrupting something?"

Edgeworth glanced up from his papers. "No. Why would you ask?"

Maya stared at Phoenix, waiting for him to say something. Eventually, the Defense Attorney cleared his throat, leaning back on his heels. "New look?"

Edgeworth cocked an eyebrow before looking down at his outfit. The blue suit had a classic cut, much like his magenta suit did, and he still sported the cravat. "I suppose. Just felt like a change."

In all of the years he'd known Edgeworth as a prosecutor, never had the man changed the suit. "Ah. Uh, it looks good."

"Thank you." Edgeworth set down his pen, rising. "Now, you mentioned lunch?"

"Yeah, we were just going to grab a burger," Maya said with a smile. "Want to come?"

"Just a moment." Edgeworth glanced around his desk before grabbing a flashlight off the top and sticking it in his briefcase. "Alright, shall we?"

"A flashlight?" Phoenix asked.

Edgeworth regarded him over the top of his glasses. "Indeed. You never know when the power might go out."

Phoenix and Maya exchanged glances but said nothing.

"Pearly's coming to town soon," Maya announced, munching on her burger happily.

"Maybe we should do something special for her, seeing as she came back to that situation last time she was in town," Phoenix suggested.

Edgeworth chuckled. "Planning something special early? Wright? I don't see that happening anytime soon."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Phoenix asked.

"Just that every time you've had some sort of celebration, it's either been last minute or not planned by you."

"Hey! That's not true!" Phoenix leaned back, furrowing his brow. "Um . . . Maya's 21st birthday!"

"Nick, you took me to England because of that attorney exchange program," Maya said. "And on the day of my 21st birthday, we got sucked into Labyrinthia, so I don't remember most of it."

Phoenix laughed nervously. "Uh, right, right." He looked down at his fries. "Trucy's first magic show?"

"If you'll remember correctly, I planned that one," Edgeworth groused. "While you took all the credit."

"Well, I'll just plan this one! We can have it at the office—"

"No." Maya sounded firm, and for a moment, he thought he'd just imagined her speaking.

"No?"

She shook her head. "Pearly is no longer allowed in the building."

"Maya, that's ridiculous," Phoenix tried to convince her, but she shook her head adamantly. "Okay, where should we have it then?"

"How about the park?" she suggested.

Edgeworth glanced at the weather outside, and Phoenix stared at her. "Maya, it's been raining pretty hard recently."

"How about Mr. Edgeworth's house then?"

He looked at her, horrified. "No!"

Phoenix, however, knew that this was about as reasonable as Maya was going to get. "Please, Edgeworth?"

"No!"

"Come on, your house is huge! What's the problem?"

"If you think I'm just going to hand my house over—"

Maya waved them off. "It's okay, Nick. We'll find somewhere else."

"I think it would still be easier if we did it at the office."

"No."

Edgeworth raised his eyebrows, but said nothing, and Phoenix shrugged in confusion.

"So, what're we doing here, Nick?" Larry asked, looking up at Ivy University with a cocked eyebrow. "Thought you were out of college already."

"I am! Larry, I've defended you in court several times now; obviously I'm out of college." Phoenix stuck his hands in his pockets, shaking his head. "I just wanted to talk to a faculty member here."

"About what?"

"Maya and Edgeworth have both been acting a little weird . . . and pretty much everyone else who got sucked into the Abyss is acting weird. So, I wanted some advice on whether we should be investing in therapy or not."

Larry looked over at his childhood friend. "Nick, if we needed therapy, we'd have started looking a long time ago."

"We've probably all needed therapy for that long," Phoenix muttered under his breath.

"Besides, isn't Athena a psychologist or something?"

"That's it! Larry, you're a genius!" Phoenix suddenly froze. "That was not something I ever thought I'd say in my lifetime."

"Ex-squeeze me?"

"We'll just have Athena run therapy sessions! After all, we're all friends, right?" He pulled out his cell phone, rolling his eyes at the background. "And Maya's been playing around with my phone again. I knew there had to be something up when she shoved it into my hands as I was running out the door."

"Ooh, wonder what picture she used this time?" Larry asked, taking the phone. After a quick look, he screamed, dropping the phone and running in the opposite direction.

Phoenix stared. "What the hell is wrong with everybody?"

"You owe me a new phone." Phoenix dropped the remnants of his broken phone into the spirit medium's lap before collapsing on the couch next to her.

"Geez, what happened?"

Phoenix ran his hands over his face. "Something about your picture of Sister Bikini as my background made Larry flip. Next thing I knew, he was calling me from halfway across town trying to get home before realizing that we'd taken a taxi together and he had no money. Like normal."

"But he called you," she said.

He nodded. "And then when I pulled out my phone to call Apollo to tell him I'd be late back to the office, Larry flipped again and this time sent it flying against a building. It didn't survive that one."

"Ouch."

"Wonder why Sister Bikini upset him so much?"

"Yeah, she just looks so nice! With that jolly smile all the time, I figured she'd cheer you right up!" Maya grinned widely, and Phoenix glanced at her.

"You think I need cheering up?"

She looked down. "You're worrying about people, Nick, I can tell."

"You guys just aren't acting normal," he said simply. "I want to help."

Maya put on her smile again, and he recognized it as the one she had worn after her mother's death. "We'll be fine, Nick! We just need some time, that's all."

"Yeah, maybe."

"Besides, you shouldn't be worrying about me. We're partners, right?"

The word gave him a jolt, and he stared at her. "P—Partners?"

"Yeah? Nick, are you okay? You look kinda pale."

"I'm fine!" he said, suddenly jumping up. "I just realized I left the oven on!" he said as he rushed out of the room.

Maya watched him leave. "And we're the ones acting weird?" she asked after a minute, shaking her head.

"Okay, that's it!" Athena said, glaring at the room full of people. Everyone the night of Maya's party, plus Pearl and Edgeworth, were in attendance, and she'd had it with the weird vibe coming from the group. "What is everyone's problem?"

"There's no problem, Athena," Phoenix said. "The party's just starting. Let it warm up a bit."

"No! Everyone's weird right now! Mr. Wright, you introduced Apollo and I as your 'law people-you-work-with' to a client the other day! Mr. Butz screamed at the sight of Junie in her school uniform, Maya had a thirty-five minute chat with Missile from next door despite the fact that he's a dog, and Mr. Edgeworth has been flipping every light on in his house and mumbling about how there's no flashlights!"

"That last one might be my fault," Maya said.

Apollo looked at her. "Is that why we're at Mr. Edgeworth's house and not at the office?"

"Ooh, what happened?" Trucy asked.

Phoenix groaned. "We took Edgeworth out for lunch, and on the way back, Maya grabbed his flashlight and turned off the lights in his office. Suffice it to say, Edgeworth did not take it well."

"In any case, it's obvious that it started somewhere!" Athena said, cutting off the conversation before it could get started. "Obviously, everyone's still on edge over what happened in the spirit world."

"Is that why you're constantly texting Blackquill?" Apollo asked.

He received a punch on the arm for that one.

"I mean, anyone could tell that there's something wrong! Right, Pearl?"

Pearl nodded. "It has seemed a little weird," she said, biting her thumbnail. "But Mystic Maya seems okay, so . . ."

"Mr. Wright has been avoiding Maya for the last couple days," Athena said.

Immediately, the familiar fire rose in Pearl's eyes, and she stomped over to Phoenix, who cowered in the corner. "Pearls, it's not what you think—" he tried to explain.

It only earned him a red handprint on his face.

"Obviously we all need to sit down and talk about what happened," Athena continued.

Apollo cocked an eyebrow. "Like therapy?"

Her expression lit up. "YES! That's it! We'll hold therapy sessions! Once a week, at the Wright Anything Agency!"

"This is going to be a total waste of time," Edgeworth mumbled under his breath.

"But I've got to go back to Kurain," Pearl protested. "And Mystic Maya does too!"

"I'll be fine, Pearly! I'll just stay with Nick for a while! No one will know!"

Trucy blinked. "Aren't you the Master of the Kurain Channeling Technique?"

Maya shrugged. "Eh, details."

"Now that we're all decided, let's get back to the party!"

Almost immediately, Apollo went up to Athena. "And what do you think this is going to accomplish?"

She flashed him a grin. "At the best, everyone will get back to normal. At the worst . . . uh, some traumatic childhood events may resurface?"

"Oh yes, nothing could go wrong with that plan," he said sarcastically.

"Welcome to the first therapy session," Athena said, putting a bowl of potato chips on the center table.

"Why the chips?" Phoenix asked.

She smiled. "People talk better when they're not hungry. This way, you can snack and talk at the same time."

"Ooh, food!" Larry said, falling on the bowl. Within seconds, it was gone.

"Aaaaaaaaand I'll get some more," she said, taking the bowl back into the kitchen.

"Just bring out the bags," Phoenix advised as Maya sat on the couch next to him. "Otherwise you'll spend all night making trips to the kitchen."

"Bags? I only brought one," she said, her eyes wide, the half-empty bag in her hand.

"Welcome to the Hunger Games," he muttered. Maya and Larry took their stances as Athena dropped the bag on the table, both pouncing at the same time. After a quick fight and some bitten fingers, Maya ended up with the bag, munching away happily.

Edgeworth arrived, and Apollo answered the door before taking a seat in the armchair, leaving Edgeworth to sit next to Larry.

"Looks like everyone's here," Athena said, smoothing her hair behind her ear. "So, does anyone want to talk about what sort of problems they've been having recently?"

The silence was deafening.

"Um, okay. Uh," she cast an eye around the group before making an apologetic face at Apollo. "Apollo, you were talking to Clay earlier, weren't you?"

"Was Maya channeling again?" Phoenix asked.

If looks could kill, Athena would have been dead. "No," Apollo said. "I was talking to my picture frame after I dusted it off."

"I don't see what's so strange about that," Maya said.

"This is just a colossal waste of time." Edgeworth crossed one leg over the other.

The room went silent again.

"Maya! There's noise in your heart!" Athena shouted, trying again.

Maya smiled. "Nope, I'm okay!"

"But . . . sandwiches!"

"What about them?"

"Ugh!" Athena threw her hands up. "And you, Mr. Wright!"

"What about me?"

She put her hands on her hips. "You should talk about your problems!"

"I don't have any problems. Would you like to share something, Athena?"

"No!" she groaned in irritation. "You're supposed to share something!"

"Well, my girlfriend dumped me yesterday," Larry said slowly.

"PERFECT!" Athena crowed before suddenly realizing what that sounded like. "Uh, I mean, tell us about it."

Three and a half hours later, Maya's head was lolled against Phoenix's shoulder, drooling as she slumbered. His eyelids were starting to droop as he listened to Larry's simpering. Edgeworth was miming "kill me," and Apollo was trying to covertly play games on his phone.

"Uh, Larry, maybe we should save some for next week," Athena finally said, cutting him off.

"But I was just about to tell you about my new girl, Nastya!"

"Next week."

Edgeworth groaned. "Please no more of this."

"Next week. Same time, same place. Be there, Mr. Edgeworth, or I'll tell Inspector Cabanela not to let you see Missile." Athena glared at him, and suddenly, he sat up.

"Next week, right."

"Why do I put up with you people?" Apollo grumbled, and Phoenix shot him a sympathetic look.

"At least they're not being hosted at your house. This is not what I had planned," he said, already cringing at the idea of next week's meeting.

A/N ::

Shikola Krasno ::

The whole idea of therapy started with jokes about how Edgeworth would react to things after his experience. I mean, they all probably needed therapy long before we got our hands on them, but we may have taken things a little too far at times. In our little ideas they would sit in a circle and pretty much not say anything because they're all too stubborn. Edgeworth would continue to say little things like, "We don't speak of this," or "No. Just plain no," while everyone would try to guess at why he was so pissed at Phoenix.

Well that developed into actual ideas for therapy, since we still wanted to incorporate the picture messages that you can get with certain deaths in the game. Figured we'd play with those by making them come up during therapy and that quickly evolved into a good way to put in many alternate scenes through dreams (you're going to love what Melody's cooked up for those). So yes! The associates of the Anything Agency are finally getting their long needed therapy! No, it's not going to be overly helpful, but at least they'll have each other, right?

Melody Canta ::

Just as a clarification, I wrote this chapter, and it's only indicative of what's to come.

Actually, what's to come is crazier at times, so . . .

Ditto to what Shikola said. I'm mostly going to be working with Edgeworth, since I didn't get to work with him before and he's one of my favorites (and well, he just gets himself worked up! It's hilarious!), but other characters will be here too, with angst, humor, lots of crack, and probably a very different side of writing than most of you have seen from us.