/* AN: Well, there's the set-up done! I know I promised a quick chapter, but this one was pretty much written already before I had a chance to post the last one, so quick turnaround. Don't say I don't love anybody following or reading this story. As always, if you love it, hate it, or have ideas you want me to try, drop me a review. If your idea is good enough and I can find a way to work it in, I may add it! Extra incentive! Btw, if you got the Old School reference in the last chapter, I owe you a cookie.
*/
When the three arrived in New York, they found themselves at Ellis Island to check in with Customs. They took a minute to find the fake passports given to them by the goblins, and were shocked by the names they were given.
"CHUCKLES MUTTLEY? FLANKSHANK! I'M GONNA NEUTER YOU NEXT TIME I SEE YOU!"
"Gaylord Wolfenstein? Not bad I guess. Definitely better than Chuckles Muttley, that's for sure."
"Mr. Funktastic? Dafuq does that even mean? Is that even a name?"
After muttering angrily to each other about bored goblins with terrible senses of humor, they manned up and went to the open booths, steadily trying to ignore the chuckles of the Customs agents at the names of the men in front of them.
By the time they had cleared customs and checked into their hotel rooms, it was nearing midday. Deciding to grab some food, they grabbed something some knishes from a stand on the corner. Agreeing that knishes were the best, they decided to wander around the city for a while before finding a bar for the night.
By the time the sun was setting, the three had learned from the hotel's receptionist which nightclub in the area was the best. So, getting ready for their night of drunken debauchery, they headed out. When they got into the club, they immediately went to the bar and started doing shots.
After a few rounds, Harry was starting to get surrounded by attractive women glancing appreciatively at him, and he was soon dragged to the dance floor by a horde of women wearing skimpy clothing. Despite his age, even Remus was getting appreciative looks from the young women at the bar, and found himself dragged off by a tall, dark-skinned woman named Ororo ("call me Storm").
Sirius, meanwhile, found himself locked in a drinking contest with a gruff, scruffy man named Logan. The two men went shot-for-shot and beer-for-beer, neither stubborn enough to admit defeat.
As Harry found himself grinding up on the perky ass of the gorgeous redhead who introduced herself as Jean, with the luscious tits of the blonde named Gwen rubbing up on his arm, he found himself beyond thankful for Sirius and Remus' intervention in what would have otherwise been a miserable and moody summer.
As the night went on, Remus disappeared with Ororo and Sirius was getting more and more trashed with Logan, Harry was getting more and more amorous with Jean and Gwen, and soon they invited him home with them.
Unknown to Harry, Jean and Gwen were both mutants and superheroes for the X-Men, and they had picked up something different about Harry. When he made a run to grab them drinks from the bar, they had agreed to introduce to their leader, Professor X and the other X-Men. After they had their wicked way with him in their shared room in the mansion, of course. Since their chaperones for the evening had either disappeared or were pounding beers like they were water, they felt they could get away with it.
On Harry's part, he was just happy to be going home with two hella attractive women. After the threesome got back to the mansion, Harry was quick to show the women just how useful Parseltongue was, and from their screams, they definitely enjoyed it. Their pleasured moans and screams also proved that the rest of their debauchery was greatly enjoyed, a feeling Harry heartily seconded.
In the morning, Harry woke up with a pounding headache, a naked woman sleeping on his chest, and another taking care of his morning problem. After downing a Hangover Potion he'd brought and given one to each of the girls, explaining both what it was and who he was. The trio enjoyed a mini-repeat of their night before sharing a shower, where they were further detained pleasantly.
By the time they made it down for breakfast, they were all thoroughly woken up and ready for the day. Harry was surprised to see Remus and Sirius both sitting at the long table in the mansion, though they both looked like hell. Remus was sitting next to the dark-skinned woman he left the bar with the night before, and Sirius was sitting between the man he had been in a drinking contest with and a bald dude in a wheelchair.
"Hey Padfoot, Moony. Rough night?" Harry asked as he sat down with Jean and Gwen.
"Hey pup, you have no idea. I lost track partway through my drinking contest. Apparently Logan (he gave a nod to the scruffy man next to him) and I stumbled back in here around three am, but I was only wearing my underwear and two patches of duct tape over my nipples. Hurt like hell to rip it off, that's for sure. But at the very least, I apparently burned down a building last night that housed a business owned by Lucius Malfoy, so that's always a plus."
"Hey cub, mine wasn't bad, but the wolf inside me doesn't metabolize alcohol well, so I look much worse than I feel. How was your night?"
"I had a great night Moony, thanks for asking. And really Sirius?" Harry replied with a sly glance at Gwen and Jean followed by a subtle vicious grin a Sirius.
Remus saw the glance, but thankfully not the grin at Sirius, and smirked. "I'm sure cub. But why in Merlin's name are you so chipper?"
Harry gave him a strange look and replied, "You morons didn't grab hangover potions before you left the hotel?" At their incredulous looks, he sighed. "You'd think that I was the professional alcoholic of the three of us. Don't you both have more experience with this than me?"
He laughed at their dumbfounded expressions. Sirius was the first to respond. "Well damn. Looks like the apprentice has become the master. By the way pup, this is Charles Xavier. He's a telepath, and knows pretty much your whole story. He's offered to post us up at the manor for a month of expanded time and train us, well mostly you, if we let him at least take a look at our NDA ("DNA, Padfoot" came from Remus), yeah, DNA. Whatcha think?"
Harry felt the hopeful glances Jean and Gwen sent him from his sides, curious to find out his story and ecstatic at the prospect of spending more time with the attractive and skilled foreigner. "Sure Padfoot sounds good to me. What will we be working on?"
Xavier jumped in at this point. "Sirius and Remus seem to think you'll be able to duplicate some of our powers magically, so you'll work with some of the X-Men here. You seem to be comfortable with Jean and Gwen already (he continued over Sirius' knowing chuckles), you'll start with mind magics with Jean and physical augmentation with Gwen, and finally I'll have you work with a young mutant named Kurt to see if you can pick up his style of teleportation."
He took a sip of his juice and continued. "Meanwhile, Remus will work with Ororo (he continued to ignore Sirius' laughter and Remus' blush) to learn weather manipulation, which he will try to teach you later down the line. At the same time, Sirius will be with Logan working on bulking up and trying to not look like he just escaped from prison."
At Sirius' suddenly horror-struck face, it was the rest of the table's chance to get a chuckle at his expense, knowing or having heard from their partners about Logan's dedication to physical training.
So, despite his complaining, Sirius got Thor's Cradle from the hotel, where they had left it, and set it up at the mansion, setting the boundaries for the mansion's outer gates and the two Marauders and Junior Marauder-to-be started training.
Harry found himself learning at a faster rate than ever before, and quickly worked his way through the altered versions of Occlumancy and Legilimancy Jean walked him through. He also managed to learn a version of Kurt's teleportation. He was able to go farther at a time than Kurt, but didn't have to worry about the squeezed tube feeling from apparition. He called his version telepopping.
Perhaps his biggest strides came in his physical training with Gwen. He learned to use magic to increase his muscular strength, reflexes, and situational awareness in a fight. At the same time, he learned the basics of hand-to-hand combat, slowly mastering the blend of Krav Maga and jujitsu Gwen favored.
By the end of the month of extended time, Harry was thrilled. He had bulked up a little, not enough to lose his speed, but enough to make a woman drool. He had also learned to block his mind from attacks, how to attack other people's minds, and telepopping. At the same time, he had also spent each night with Jean, Gwen, or a brunette mutant named Kitty who had joined the trio the first night he was there, or some combination of the three of them.
Remus had spent pretty much every day and every night with Storm, either working on his burgeoning weather powers or fucking each other's brains out. Sirius was not left out of the fuckfest, his improved physique after training with Logan landing a shape-shifting mutant named Mystique in his bed. She had also worked with him to manage partially unlocking the inherent Metamorph trait in his Black genes, allowing him to shift his face enough to not look entirely like himself.
When the three left the X-Mansion, they left with an open invitation to return at any time, and agreed to return before Harry went back to Hogwarts in September. So the three men left to return to the hotel and grab the trunk they had left there and check out. Since Sirius and Remus had no real desire to visit the Cherokee, they decided to head to Miami a day earlier in an attempt to pick up more women.
Remus ruffled his hair and handed him a cell phone he had modified to work with magic, telling him to call when he got there and knew his animagus form. Sirius told him to not do anything he wouldn't do, to a snort and a "That's not a whole lot of things Padfoot" from Remus. Studiously ignoring him, he added that Harry should take pictures of any women he slept with, and that they would do the same.
When Harry asked why, Sirius told him that, starting now, the three were starting a contest of who could sleep with the highest number of attractive women over the course of the summer. The three would rank their conquests, and add up the total score by the end of the summer.
Harry, giving an amused chuckle, said "Only you Sirius. Never change" and watched the two men Portkey off to Miami. With a shake of the head and an internal pep talk, he said the activation phrase on his portkey to the Cherokee reservation in North Carolina, ready for his next adventure.
/* AN: Well it's done. Not really happy with how it ended, I may go back and change it later. Meh, oh well. I kinda rushed through the training, and I have no regrets. In honesty, I've read enough stories where they drag out Harry's training, and I just wanted to get on with it. This story is meant to be funny, not just dialogue and narration about Harry's training. So you get the quick version. I'll try to stay to that format and not drag out the training, but if people want longer versions of training, I may make some Omakes or something.
Pretty blatant X-Men crossover in there, hope you didn't miss it. For the sake of the story, just assume Gwen is the female version of Spider-Man and an X-Man, and that Mystique is an X-Man. I needed an older mutant to sleep with Sirius, and she intrigued me, and allowed me to deal with the whole "Sirius can't live in England anymore cause he's dead and/or a previously escaped felon" scenario.
I'm just gonna go ahead and say for the sake of the story that nobody has recognized Harry because he's not as famous in the States. We're (the US) a pretty isolationist nation when it comes to other countries and their internal struggles. Anyways, there it is. Onwards and upwards!
*/