/* AN: Since my last chapter came out late, you get another quick turnover. Yay! Don't get used to updates this quick, I'm pretty sure I'll be slowing down pretty soon. Anyways, here's your next chapter. By the way, pronounce Chi-Town in the chapter's name like Shy-Town, else the alliteration doesn't work. Enjoy!
*/
Over the next month Harry spent with the Comanche, he was constantly busy. He started with the animagus revealing ritual, almost a carbon copy of the one he did with the Cherokee. This time, he was the only one going through the transformation, and unlocked the form of the mystical manbearpig, a glorious creature that's half man, half bear, and half pig.
Thrilled about getting such a badass new form, he threw himself into his training, both the meditation to release his form he was used to after his time with the Cherokee, and the continued hunting/tracking training he received.
Another thing he received with the Comanche was training in the art of camouflage, and they even performed a ritual to unlock a full metamorphmagus gift within Harry.
By the time his month with the Comanche was over, he had achieved his manbearpig transformation, mastered shifting with the metamorph gift, and was an experienced hunter and tracker.
Thanking his teachers, he moved on to the Sioux reservation, where he went through another fire full of weed to achieve his animagus form, a bald eagle this time. Again, he went through an extended months-worth of more hunting and tracking training, alongside new training to achieve mastery of manipulating the earth element.
However, Harry's favorite new skill was when his teacher showed him how to achieve detachable tattoos. In other words, he could focus a bit of magic into his skin when receiving a tattoo, and he would be able to store the item tattooed there in his skin. Based on the idea of a familiar contract, where a familiar would be stored in a tattoo on a witch or wizard's skin, it was used by the Sioux to carry weapons around without having to physically carry weapons around. The best part was that a witch or wizard could still get regular tattoos, they just had to not focus their magic on the tattoo when they got it.
Given his familiarity with the tomahawk after three months' worth of training with the weapon, Harry got a detachable tomahawk tattooed on the tops of his forearms. Beautiful and deadly sharp, they were wrapped in black leather with an emerald handgrip and had a few feathers plucked from his animagus form tied to the top (AN: I pictured a modified version of Connor's tomahawks from Assassin's Creed III). Detached from his skin with a whisper of magic and a pull on the handle, it was the perfect unexpected weapon.
Thanking his teachers, he moved on to Chicago, where he met up with Sirius and Remus, planning on spending the day sightseeing in the Windy City. They managed to make it through most of the day before the shit hit the fan, which, given Harry's luck and status as Fate's bitch, was bound to happen sooner rather than later. In fact, they were all pleasantly surprised it took them that long for shit to go down.
It started when they were almost run over by the single ugliest car any of them had ever seen in their lives. It looked like it was originally a black four-door sedan, but was painted over with a swirl of colors. On each side, the doors had the name "Shiva Kaminisoma Kandarkram" painted across them, and the hood had a painted picture of an ugly Indian girl of around high-school age on it over the name "The Shiva-Mobile." Perhaps the worst part of the car, however, was the massive trophy in a case somehow affixed to the roof. Standing on the roof of the car was a tall man, humping the trophy in the case and shouting "SHIVA KAMINISOMA KANDARKRAM!" at the top of his voice.
As they watched, the car, which had previously been driving down the road slowly, all of a sudden lurched and swung at the Marauders and Junior Marauder. It barely missed them and hit a telephone pole, unfortunately not doing much damage to the hideous paint job. However, the man humping the trophy was thrown into a patch of grass next to the befuddled three.
After a short time, wherein the Marauders stood around too stunned to move, a rabid-looking curly haired man came out of the car, ran up to the man lying on the grass and started repeatedly punching him in the balls, yelling "SCROTE SQUAD! SCROTE SQUAD! NOBODY'S BALLS ARE SAFE!" at the top of his lungs. He stood up, gave a smile and friendly greeting to the still-gobsmacked trio standing next to this random act of violence, and then the man ran away alternately screaming "MURDER!" or "GATTACA!" still at the top of his lungs.
The three men slowly backed away from the still-groaning man, who they heard was named either Tall Guy (if you asked the ball-punching dude) or Kevin (according to the man who had just now gotten out of the driver's side of the Shiva-Mobile), and headed on towards their next stop, the Field Museum.
As they walked away from Tall Guy, they heard him complaining. "Pete, Ruxin's gone too far by hiring Rafi as his ballsy-guard. You saw Rafi out there, and you remember when he forced Taco to suicide-scrote. I know that Ruxin knows that scrote season's all about getting an excuse to punch Andre in the dick as much as possible, but this is too much."
As they got closer to the field museum, they realized that the sky was slowly getting darker and more ominous the closer they got to the museum, and soon they were separated by a flood of people running away from the center of the storm. Harry determined to push on towards the museum, sure that Sirius and Remus would eventually meet him there. When he got to the museum, he found the single-strangest sight he'd ever seen in his almost sixteen years of life.
A short, fat man was wearing the oddest suit, standing in place and stomping his feet. This apparently was the cue for the bass drum strapped to the back of the suit to hit, allowing a steady beat to flow forth. Harry was just beyond ecstatic the man wasn't touching the accordion attached to the front of the suit or the cymbals attached to his elbows.
While the short man in the crazy instrument suit was odd enough, it was the life-sized and, more importantly, living t-rex and the two people walking around him that drew the attention. One of the people was a tall, skinny man wearing a black leather duster and boots, and he was throwing extension cords around the dinosaur's neck to the other person, a young girl around Harry's age with hair that was half bubblegum pink and half cotton-candy blue.
"Umm, hi there! My name's Mr. Funktastic, is there any particular reason you're trying to tie a harness around a life-size t-rex? I assume it has something to do with this apparently magical storm going on around us, and I'm a fairly competent wizard in my own right. Do you need any help?"
"My name is Butters, this is Harry Dresden Chicago's only professional wizard, and this is his apprentice Molly Carpenter. Harry tells me there's some massive necromantic ritual happening downtown, and we're on our way to stop it if we can."
The man now identified as Harry Dresden looked him and his apprentice over. "Right, Mr. Funktastic, was it?" At Harry's grimace and nod, Dresden gave a brief chuckle. "Alright, Mr. Funktastic. Sorry, man, but that's a really strange name, I wonder what your parents were thinking at the time."
Harry cut in here. "I blame my godfather, he managed to sneak in a fake birth certificate with that name on it to his lawyers/bankers before my parents realized it. He should be around this area soon, I'll introduce you, you'd probably like him. He's a real laugh a minute, that's why his parents legally changed his first name to Chuckles when he was five."
At Dresden's disbelieving snort and shaken head, Harry grinned. Dresden continued. "Anyways, Mr. Funktastic, here's the biz. The Darkhallow is a massive spell designed to give godhood to whoever completes it. Right now, there are three groups looking to complete it: guy by the name of Cowl and his apprentice, a necromancer named Grevane, whose minion we waxed inside, and an entity named Corpsetaker, along with her minion/ghoul. Cowl's a real heavy hitter, his apprentice is a pretty sneaky bitch, also wears a heavy robe/cowl combo. Grevane shouldn't be a huge deal, he's all about using sheer numbers of undead to overpower his enemies, which shouldn't be an issue with Sue here. Corpsetaker's the one to look after. She's currently in the form of a twenty-something college student, but she can swap bodies with people. Her ghould shouldn't be a problem to deal with."
He stopped a minute to take a breath and make sure Harry understood all he'd said. When Harry nodded at him, he continued. "Now, here's the fun part. The spell is like a massive vortex, and you have to surround yourself with necromantic energy to be able to get close to it. Hence Sue. Butters counts since he's my drummer. My apprentice was nagging me to go along, but she wouldn't be able to get close, cause she's not got any necromantic energy. We're gonna need all the help we can get on this one, so you up to take on some necromancy if Molly drums for you?"
Harry hesitated, then came to a decision. "Hell yeah I'm in! But only on the condition I get to reanimate something close to as badass as you've got. I've always said there's no point killing if it's not overkill! Plus you're gonna need all the help you can get, so let's go big and fuck shit up!"
It took but the work of a minute to find a pair of saber-tooth tigers he elected to reanimate, and a quick and (figuratively) dirty bit of necromancy later, and they had their necromantic energy to survive the Darkhallow. The heartbeat was a small issue, but they figured it out. Molly had a dubstep CD in her Walkman, which she had for whatever reason decided to bring, so they at least had the beat, until Harry looked out the front of the museum and found a brand-new black Mustang convertible with the vanity plate "CRPS TKR."
Since Dresden assumed (rightly, as they would shortly find out) that the car belonged to Corpsetaker, he okayed the "borrowing" of the 'Stang. A quick jerry-rigged runic array from Harry to allow the convertible to run off magic and actually work in the Darkhallow, a quick slip-in of the CD, and they were off.
Harry and Molly hopped in the 'Stang, leading the tigers, which they'd named Rex and Regina. Dresden and Butters managed to work themselves on top of Sue, Butters managing to scramble up without losing the drumbeat. They were on their way to majorly fuck some shit up.
The group of four started making their way downtown, Dresden managing some impressive collateral damage before he learned how to properly take corners on his massive beast. They shortly ran into a group of five adults in grey cloaks and swords taking down a bunch of rotting undead trying to kill the small children in costumes the adults were protecting.
Dresden led Sue into battle on the shambling corpses, ramming them aside like tenpins. Harry and Molly followed up in the 'Stang, proving the same effect, while Rex and Regina raced into battle after them, controlled by Harry's remarkable willpower.
Aided by the three prehistoric undead constructs, the group quickly finished off the zombies. The people in the grey cloaks, who'd introduced themselves as Wardens Morgan, Luccio, Ramirez, Yoshimo, and Kowalski, led the kids off towards a safe place. Harry quickly introduced himself as they herded the children towards safety, by now used to the snorts he got from his fake name, and explained why he was there.
Dresden and Butters had dismounted and were talking to Warden Luccio, who turned out to be the Captain of the Wardens. Harry and Molly had done the same, leaving the 'Stang parked by the curb and the CD still blasting that funky dubstep beat and following the Wardens.
While they were talking and walking, Rex and Regina had sniffed out the ghoul that was rolling with Corpsetaker, and their killer instincts tickled the back of Harry's brain. He sent them out to get the ghoul, and the screeching of metal and then the ghoul was quickly heard. Rex and Regina had ripped apart the car the ghoul was driving like they were the Jaws of Life, and quickly crushed his head.
Thankful there was one less thing to worry about, he continued, before his own finely-tuned instincts screamed for him to duck. He did, barely avoiding the blade Corpsetaker had tried to decapitate him with. He turned, quickly pulling his tomahawks from his skin, shoving Molly out of the way as he did.
Corpsetaker looked shocked she had missed, and even more so by the sudden appearance of the blades now in her target's hands. Harry went at her like a spidermonkey. Corpsetaker was quickly on the defensive, and started drumming on the drum at her side, calling up a shit-ton of specters around them.
Giving a shout, Harry continued to fuck shit up, and was quickly joined by Morgan, Luccio and Dresden, while Ramirez hung back and picked off stragglers with his pistol. Kowalski and Yoshimo had already gone inside the building with the children, taking Molly with them.
While Harry, Morgan and Dresden went to town on the spirits and Butters locked himself in some sort of shield circle, Luccio went to war against Corpsetaker. As she went for a stab to Corpsetaker's stomach, Harry felt a strange consciousness flow, and realized it was Corpsetaker switching bodies. He took the time to off the specters around him before spinning, throwing the tomahawk in his hand.
It hit Luccio's body in the middle of the forehead, just as Dresden's bullet took her in her left eye. Morgan quickly went after Dresden while Harry shot an Incarcerous at him. He explained the consciousness flow he'd felt to Dresden and Morgan, while Ramirez stared into Corpsetaker's now-dying body.
He backed up Harry, talking about doing something called a soul gaze. Now freed, Morgan rushed into the building holding the children, Molly, and the Wardens at a scream from Yoshimo. Harry shot his best healing spells at Luccio, telling her "This is just knitting you back together, this will probably leave at least a faint scar. You'll be out for at least a month between the magical exhaustion the healing brings and rehabbing it." He made a quick Portkey for Dresden's apartment, which he was given the coordinates to, and dropped it on the now-sleeping Luccio.
The new group of Harry, Ramirez, Dresden, and Butter, who was still stomping away in his circle, looked at each other, and they suddenly felt a massive shift in power towards where they assumed the Darkhallow ritual was centered. Agreeing that waiting for Morgan would take too long, Dresden and Ramirez ran to jump on Sue while Harry did a Dukes of Hazard hood-slide to get to the driver's side of the 'Stang and Butters stayed put, out of the way but close enough for Sue to still hear the beat.
The two Wardens, wizard-in-training and their combined three undead prehistoric nasties rolled out, intent on destruction and mayhem.
When they got to the center of University of Chicago campus, where the ritual was centered, they motley group ripped through Grevane and his legion of zombies and ghosts, Ramirez slitting his throat then giving him a swift lead headache.
Harry, seeing an opportunity, used his new metamorph powers for the first time, shifting into one of the now un-animated zombies. Cowl popped Ramirez with a shaft of power, and Dresden went after him. Harry saw who must have been Cowl's apprentice sneaking up on Dresden, and Harry whipped one of his tomahawks (he'd grabbed the one in Corpsetaker's forehead before they moved on) into her forehead, just like he did with Corpsetaker.
By this time, Cowl had bashed Dresden with the same energy he'd hit Ramirez with and pulled a talking skull out of his pocket. Harry tried to work his way over to Cowl before he finished the ritual. Cowl was chanting, his body arching with tension. While the dark power swirled overhead, the vortex danced over Cowl's lips, and let out a final shout of "I SUMMON THEE, THANATOS GOD OF DEATH!"
Thunk. Harry had reached Cowl and bashed him in the face with Dresden's dropped staff, but it was too late. Cowl turned his head back towards Harry, dark glee dancing in his eyes.
"FOOL! YOU DARE STRIKE THE GOD THANATOS! CHILD, YOU SHALL DIE!"
/* AN: Cliffie! #SorryNotSorry. But I am sorry for using that hashtag. Kinda. I used it ironically, so it's kinda okay? Anyways, part two of the Chi-Town Showdown comin' soon to a website near you! Peace!
*/