/* AN: So I know I said that it might be a while before my next chapter came out, and spring break really threw me back for a while, especially that whole 'lit-my-laptop on fire' situation. But, I'm back and better than ever with a new 'top! So, new chapter ho!
*/
After the battle at the Death Star, Harry spent the following years at the side of the Sith master he had apprenticed himself to. He managed to pass along several plans to the Resistance, most notably the invasion of Hoth.
He also managed to pass along to the Resistance the location of the new Death Star the Empire was building. He stood side-by-side with his Sith Lord as they threw the Emperor into the power core on the new Death Star. Even though Vader died from over-exposure to the Force Lightning Emperor Palpatine was throwing around like candy on Halloween, Harry managed to keep him alive just long enough for him to reconcile with his son Luke.
In the years following the overthrow of the Empire, Harry spent most time working with Luke to eradicate the remaining pockets of the Empire's strongholds through the galaxy and expanding the new Jedi Order. After participating in both Luke and Han's wedding, to a former Empire Jedi named Mara and Princess Leia respectively, Harry spent the next almost two decades traveling search for lost Jedi and Sith holocrons.
Most of the holocrons he found were previously in the Jedi Temple before Palpatine raided it, which he sent back to Luke and the rebuilding Jedi order on Yavin 4. The holocrons Harry sent back mainly contained lost Force techniques, which adapted to his own unique form of Force/magic use. He also managed to discover scores of lost lightsabre patterns, as well as designs for a few other Force weapons, like the Force whip and Force nunchucks.
Harry built himself two lightsabres and a pair of Force sais, since the Force nunchucks were actually extremely useless. His main sabre had a curved hilt made of solid gold Harry had charmed to not melt with heat, was covered in emeralds, and had a blacklight blade. The hilt also had a direwolf head on the hilt, as a nod to his first animagus form. Other than its ability to show stains, he loved the creepy factor his blade gave him and the glow it gave his now all-white outfits.
He used the idea of his magical tattoos to store his main sabre on his hip, where a normal sword would be scabbarded. His backup sabre had a plain hilt and a camouflage blade. And yes, the blade was actually a camo pattern. That was stored on his right ankle, while the blaster Han gave him was stored on his left ankle. His sais were stored on his lower back, where he could easily reach around and grab them. Both had hot pink blades.
While Harry made excellent progress making lightsabres and learning lost Force techniques, he made slower progress in his main purpose for his study: finding out how to replicate his inter-dimensional Apperation. One plus of spending time away from his universe was the fact that he apparently wasn't aging past the fifteen he was or the nineteen he looked like.
Harry kept in contact with Luke during his self-appointed exile/study, and one day Luke contacted him that the Jedi Praxeum was being attacked by the Shadow Academy, a battle station/training facility for Dark Jedi. Unfortunately for Luke, he and most of the rest of the Jedi Knights and Masters were unavailable to help, leaving his niece and nephew in charge of the defenses of the Praxeum. Luke wanted Harry to head to Yavin 4 and help the Padawans and apprentices defend the planet.
Since Harry was a system over, he could easily make a short hop to Yavin 4 and help, which he quickly did. Landing a fair distance from the Praxeum to prevent notice as long as possible, he touched down his ship and apparated to the Praxeum, where he was quickly met with a warning blaster shot near the face from a gorgeous but jumpy girl in her mid-teens. Realizing the dime in front of him was Luke's niece Jaina, he introduced himself.
"Whoa there Jaina, I'm with you guys. Your uncle sent me to help out where I can. My name is Mr. Funktastic. Now what are we looking at here?"
"Sorry Mr. Funktastic, we're all a bit twitchy here. Wait, Mr. Funktastic, as in the war hero and guy who officiated my parents' wedding in a bathrobe and sunglasses?"
Harry gave a brief chuckle. "Heh, yeah that's me. To both of those. The bathrobe is actually the official vestments for my religion, Dudism. It's a religion on my home planet that's actually quite similar to the Jedi beliefs. But with a heavy emphasis on weed and White Russians and inherent hatred of a band called The Eagles, hence my heavy consumption of both during your parents' wedding. You dad loved it, but your mom told me I'd never officiate anything official ever again. But that's not important now, we can share stories about how I quote unquote ruined your mother's big day later. What are we looking at?"
"Right, business. Jaden took a handful of Padawans to get the orbital shield back up while Lowbacca took another handful up in fighters to keep the Academy from dropping bombs on our head. My little brother Anakin took the apprentices down to the lowest level with blasters and an order to blast anyone that isn't me or Jaden."
Harry thought for a minute and pulled up a map of the Praxeum on the holographic table in front of him. "Right, that's a good start. Soon the Academy will be sending down Dark Apprentices and Padawans, if not Knights and Masters. You have what, two, three dozen Padawans and Knights left?"
Jaina nodded. "Closer to three. And we'll get a half dozen more when Jaden comes back. Lowie's keeping his guys up there for air support."
"Excellent. Once your brother comes back, we give him half of the Padawans and the open quadrant to the north. Give them blasters and droids, have them do hit-and-runs. I found a hunter-killer droid that used to belong to some guy named Revan, and he can take the quadrant to the east by himself. Do you have an apprentice especially skilled at manipulating like trees and shit?"
Jaina nodded and Harry continued. "Give him or her two thirds of the remaining Jedi, sent the last ones down to protect the young ones, just in case. They'll take the south, use the forest to thin down numbers and sneak attack. I'll take the west quadrant. Give me your best shot as backup in the Praxeum, I have a type of blaster for whoever it is to use. I'll take a comms set and my backup can tell me if any quadrants are being overrun and I'll pop over and help them out. Sound good?"
Jaina stood for a minute thinking over the plan, trying to find holes. "Yeah, that sounds good to me. I'll call everyone in and give them assignments. As for your backup, I'll do that. You sure you can take a whole quadrant by yourself?"
"Yeah, not a problem, I've got enough weapons on me to be a one-man siege and I've done nothing but study Force techniques for the past twenty years. Now, for you weapon, then I'll equip HK-47 and we'll get this shit done with. HOOAH!"
Thanking himself for keeping one of the bags of guns he'd bought in Vegas in a tattoo on his leg, he pulled it off, chuckling at the dumbstruck look on Jaina's face for his seemingly impossible feat.
"This is just the least I can do, sweetheart. If you're still alive later I may tell you how to do this yourself." he told her, making her perk up immediately and make a mental note to ask to be apprenticed to the incredibly handsome and skilled man in front of her.
Harry pulled out the modified Dragunov he'd bought in Vegas and handed it to Jaina. It was a beautiful piece, all matte black with green lightning bolts down the barrel. He showed her how to strip it down and check it, and walked her through the bolt action, infrared scope, and the safety. He told her about how the clip was charmed to never be empty, as long as the safety was off, there would be a bullet in the chamber once the bolt action was worked.
He pulled out a pair of AA-12 shotguns charmed to have endless explosive bullets and took off his shirt. Ignoring the hungry looks Jaina gave him and mentally noting to hit that at a later date, he shoved one of the AA-12s into the skin on his right shoulder, going across his back. He set the other AA-12 aside for HK-47 and proceeded to shove the rest of his now non-charmed arsenal into his skin. A pair of Desert Eagles went where shoulder holsters would hang, an M4 went down the back of his left leg, and two pair of 1911's went down his sternum and abs. He added a machete on the inside of his left forearm and a sweet katana he'd found in his vault in Britain on the inside of his right forearm.
As he started loading more and more weapons into tattoos on his body, Jaina's eyes got wider and wider. She finally asked him, "Do you really need all those weapons? And where did you get all of them?"
As Harry packed the now-empty bag of weapons back into his leg, he answered distractedly. "I'd rather have them and not need them than to not have them and need them. Plus, other than your Dragunov and the AA-12, the guns have limited bullets. Most of these I got in my home universe before I accidentally sent myself into this one. And I'm glad I thought to grab all these before I left. Normally, I don't carry nearly this much death on me, but this is a war. Now then, let's get going!"
Jaina called in HK-47 and the Jedi, including Jaden now that he'd fixed the orbital shield. She explained the plan to the assembled Jedi and let them figure out who was going with which leader. As everyone filed out to their sections and HK-47 grabbed his AA-12, Jaina gave Harry a quick kiss ("For luck. It's a family tradition") and went to the top floor of the Praxeum, where she had a good line of sight to all the quadrants. Harry went to his quadrant and hit himself with a disillusionment spell, waiting for the Dark Jedi to arrive.
When they did, Harry started ghosting around trimming off Dark Jedi from the edges of the pack of two score sent at him with his tomahawks. After the Jedi noticed their dropping comrades and the distant crack of Jaina's Dragunov, they started becoming more cautious, making stealth killing implausible Deciding to go big, Harry pulled off his AA-12 and with a shouted "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" open fire on the massed Jedi.
Easily wiping them out of existence, Harry asked Jaina where he needed to go. Upon being told that the north quadrant was in trouble, he telepopped over, asking Jaina to keep an eye on his quadrant in case more Jedi went there. As he got to the north quadrant, he cast a spell of artificial darkness for a few feet around him and pulled out his darksabre. The blade making his white shorts and bared teeth glow eerily, he charged past the line Jaden was stubbornly holding and cut into the Dark Jedi with a fury not seen since last time Sirius called Snape a Snivelling Snapealupagus (approximately a week ago; Sirius had hired someone to take Polyjuice one a month to look like him and insult the dour Potions Master). One sai in his off hand, he looked like he was dancing as he wiped out nearly half of the two-score Dark Jedi still standing.
When Jaina told him the south quadrant was in trouble, he left the mop-up to Jaden and moved on. After bailing out the south quadrant, he had to return to the west and take out another wave. After emptying the last clips on the last of his guns, having lost the AA-12 to an errant lightsabre cut in the south, he faced a Dark Jedi who looked like he was in charge. Introducing himself as Brakiss, he pulled his red lightsabres and charged. Harry pulled out his main sabre and one of his sai, he charged back.
After a brief battle, in which Harry mostly was playing with Brakiss, Harry separated Brakiss' head from his shoulder. Using his Metamorph skills, he morphed into Brakiss' form and ordered a retreat and led the remaining Dark Jedi, only a dozen or so of the nearly 100 sent at the Praxeum, back to the Academy. Harry, in Brakiss' form, walked around the Academy and sabotaged the thing to blow up upon exiting hyperspace, and hopped in an escape pod, changing back to his own form as he did.
As he landed, he was immediately hit with a brown-haired missile who, judging from the enthusiastic kissing he was getting from the missile, Harry figured was Jaina. After enthusiastically returning the kiss for a while, he started the Jedi on the task of giving the proper burial rights to the few Jedi that had died and returning the Praxeum to its pristine condition before Luke returned.
When Luke finally did return, with as many Jedi Knights and Masters as he could find, he found the Praxeum in perfect condition, only a few Padawans dead, fewer injured, and Harry passed out naked next to an equally naked Jaina.
After a brief shouting episode in which Luke was less than happy about the position he found his precious niece in, Luke officially thanked Harry and offered him a reward for his services rendered. After a talk with Jaina, her parents, and Luke, they agreed to apprentice Jaina to Harry for the rest of his time in this universe with an option to go with him back to his universe.
Several years later found Jaina married to Harry and sharing the whole non-aging while away from his universe thing he had going on, leaving her fixed at seventeen until they returned to Harry's universe, which she had agreed to do after a long talk with her family. She had found out about Harry's other wives and agreed to the same provisions they had laid out for Harry. Eventually, the two figured out how to Apparate between universes. They spent another year traveling the galaxy, saying goodbye to Jaina's family and allowing Harry to teach Jaina even more of the tips and tricks he knew including the skin tattoos, before the two disappeared from the universe, returning to Harry's Las Vegas.
Apparently, only a few seconds had gone by since when Harry accidentally sent himself to a different universe, and the two took advantage of this fact by going back to Harry's comped suite at the Mirage for a welcome-to-a-new universe sex marathon for Jaina before the two met Remus and Sirius for a very late breakfast.
They found the two older men at a table by the pool, wearing sunglasses and slumped over in apparent agony. Jaina was wearing a bikini Tonks had left when she went back to England and Harry was only wearing a pair of board shorts, showing off the five new weapons tattooed on his body. Jaina had reworked her lightsabre hilts to something much more artsy and had stored them over her shoulders.
The two immediately drew almost all the attention around the pool as a pair of extremely attractive people. The only two people who didn't look up were Sirius and Remus, who looked like they were passed out. Harry and Jaina sat down at their table and startled the two men when they figured out who sat down at the table.
"Hey pup," came the tired greeting from Sirius. "Who's this, another wife?"
"Actually, yes. This is Jaina. And I have a massive story for the two of you." Waving up a few quick privacy charms, he gave them a quick rundown of his adventures in Jaina's galaxy. After they got time to digest the whole story and ask clarifying questions, they decided to figure out what exactly their next move was.
Jaina decided to go with Harry to California, while Sirius and Remus chose to stay another night or two in Vegas and catch the pair in Cali whenever they got there. So, saying goodbye to the two men, Harry grabbed his luggage and newest wife and started on the next step of his incredible summer journey.
/* AN: Boom, done! Sorry this took so long, but at least the new chapter is done! So Dudism. Actually a real religion, heavily based on Buddhism as seen through the eyes of The Dude from the movie The Big Lebowski. I'm not sure if the bit about the official vestments is actually accurate, but I was telling a friend of mine about my uncle, who is actually a certified Dudist minister officiating his friend's wedding, and we were joking about him officiating in a bathrobe and sunglasses, White Russian in hand and taking drags off a roach clip during the vows. If none of this makes sense to you, watch The Big Lebowski, it's so worth it. I promise.
The bit about the blacklight lightsabre came from an excellent webcomic called xkcd. I'll try to find the link to the specific comic and throw it up somewhere, either here or in the AN for next chapter. That's done, now on to the next one!
*/