Act III
{Scene 3}
Inside the Trading Post
Enter Elizabeth, Edward, Jonathan, Eve, John, and Jean.
EDWARD Do you know what is causing him to be wracked by insanity or not?
JOHN He confesses that he is greatly distracted; but why he won't say.
JEAN He keeps ahead of us with a craftiness only madness can employ.
ELIZABETH Did he receive you well?
JOHN He was most welcoming.
JEAN Indeed, but with much forcing to his nature.
JOHN He made no questions of us, but was most free in his response.
ELIZABETH Did you set him on a hobby?
JEAN Madam, as it turned out, we brought him a troup of actors whom he was most impressed, and I do believe plan to play before him tonight.
JONATHAN Indeed, and he has requested that I invite you to view the results with him.
EDWARD With all my heart am I gladdened to hear of this, and apprehensively await the viewing of the play. Good gentlemen, give him leave to pursue this interest further.
JOHN We shall.
Exit John and Jean
EDWARD Sweet Elizabeth, leave us as well. We have arranged for Thamle to arrive and for Eve to confront him, her father and myself are going to wait unseen and unheard within hearing range, and we shall be the judge of it being her love that causes him to grieve so.
ELIZABETH I shall move hence. And for your part, Eve, I do hope you are the cause of his malady, and so I hope that you can bring him 'round again.
EVE Madam, I wish so as well.
Exit Elizabeth
JONATHAN Eve, wait here. We shall hide ourselves. I hear him approaching: we should withdraw.
Exit Edward and Jonathan, enter Thamle
THAMLE To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream, aye, thats the honeypot. For in death dreams may come to us. But that is the undiscovered country, the land from which none return, and in such makes us to suffer eternally with the ills we have borne rather than to face the unknown, the foil to the country. Thus conscience makes cowards of us all; and so the native colors and sights are overshadowed by pale sickness. Oh beautiful Eve! in your prayers are all my sins remembered.
EVE Good Thamle, how are you this day?
THAMLE Thank you humbly, for I am bien, bien, bien.
EVE Thamle, I have many of your affections and gifts, and I long to re-deliver them. Please, take them back.
THAMLE Who, I? I never gave you aught.
EVE You know you did, and with them came words so sweet as made the object with them even richer, but with their sweet smell lost I bid you take them again, for to the noble mind rich gifts made of wax prove poor when the givers prove unkind.
THAMLE Are you honest?
EVE What?
THAMLE Are you good?
EVE What do you mean?
THAMLE If you are honest and fair, your honesty should not come into conflict with your beauty.
EVE Could beauty outweigh beauty and honesty?
THAMLE Yes, truly, as beauty can transform honesty more easily than honesty beauty. It was once a paradox, but now time proves it otherwise. I did love you once.
EVE Indeed, as you would have me believe.
THAMLE You should not have believed me: I loved you not.
EVE I was the more deceived, then.
THAMLE Get thee to a nunnery: Why would you associate with such sinners? I am myself honest; but yet I could accuse myself of such things that it have have been better had I not been born. I am proud, revengeful, ambitious, and with more offences at my back than I have thoughts to put them with, imagination to shape them, or time to act them in. What are fellows like I doing between Earth and Heaven? We are arrant fools all; believe none of us. Go thy ways to a nunnery. Where's your father?
EVE At home.
THAMLE Let the doors be shut upon him, so that he may play the fool only in his own house. Farewell, and do thee good.
EVE O, God, help him!
THAMLE If you marry, I will give you this plague for the marriage gift: Even if you are as chaste as can be, as pure as snow, you shall not escape slander. Go to a nunnery, farewell. Or, if thou needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you turn them into. To a nunnery, now, go, quickly, without pause, rapidement, farewell.
EVE O God, help him!
THAMLE I have heard of your artwork well, God has given you one face, and you make yourself another, you dance, you limp and you lisp, you nick-name God's creatures which he himself has named, and you make your wantonness your ignorance. Go, I'll speak no more on the subject, it has made me choler.
Exit Thamle
EVE Oh what a noble mind has been overthrown! And I, noble as well, who believed his sweet lies, now see the true and most sovereign reason, the sweet bells are jangling, but now they drift out of tune. O, woe is me, To have seen what I have seen, to see what I see!
Re-enter Edward and Jonathan
EDWARD No, what he spoke, while lacking form, did not portray madness. There's something weighing on him, over which his sadness broods, and I have little doubt that the discourse shall enforce itself in a form of violence, which to prevent I have thus set down, I have determined he shall with speed set forth for the United Provinces, for they, being the only ones to owe us tribute, he shall be sent to collect. What think you on't?
JONATHAN It is a goodly plan, but yet I still believe his grief has sprung from neglected love. Ah, sweet Eve! You need not tell us what he hath said to you, we heard it all. My lord, do as you please, but, if you see fit, after the play let his mother lay into him and show him her grief: Let her be frank, and I will be placed, if you approve, within range of their conversation. If she cannot bring him about, send him to England, or do what you think best.
EDWARD It shall be so, as madness in great ones must not unwatched go.
Exit
{Scene II}
Enter Thamle and Actors
THAMLE Speak the play, do not overact it, and say it trippingly on the tongue, but if you mouth it, as too many of your compatriots, there will have been no purpose in acting it. Do not saw the air too much with your hand, as so, but use it gently, with elegant motion, for within a time of extremity you must add an air of calm. It truly offends me to my core to see a play torn to shatters by overacting, and I pray you avoid it.
FIRST ACTOR I will warrant so.
THAMLE Of course, be not too tame either, and act it as it feels most natural, for being tepid can be just as great an offence.
FIRST ACTOR I shall avoid it.
THAMLE Go now, make ready.
Enter Jonathan, John, and Jean
How now, Sirrah? I hear the overlord himself will be a-watching tonight!
JONATHAN And the overlordess as well.
THAMLE Bid the actors make haste.
Exit Jonathan, John, and Jean
What ho! Gabriel!
Enter Gabriel
GABRIEL At your service as always.
THAMLE Gabriel, your justness is a welcome respite from those with whom I just conversed.
GABRIEL, O, Thamle,-
THAMLE No, do not think I am merely flattering you, for I want nothing from you but your own good spirit, which does not feed or clothe. Why would I flatter the poor? They are coming to the play; I must be idle: Get to your place.
Enter Edward, Elizabeth, Jonathan, Eve, John, Jean, and playgoers.
EDWARD How are you today Thamle?
THAMLE Excellent indeed, for I eat of the chameleon's dish; I eat the air, promise-crammed: you cannot feed cripples such..
EDWARD I have nothing in response, these words are not mine.
THAMLE Nor mine now. Good stableman, you played once a play, you say?
JONATHAN That I did, and was accounted a good actor.
THAMLE What did you enact?
JONATHAN I did enact Julius Caesar: I was killed in the capitol by brutus.
THAMLE He was indeed a brute for killing off so easy a target. Are the actors ready?
JEAN Yes, they wait for you.
ELIZABETH Come Thamle, sit by thy mother.
THAMLE No mother, here is someone more to my liking.
JONATHAN (To Edward) What do you make of that?
THAMLE Can I lie in your lap?
EVE No.
THAMLE I mean, can I place my head upon your lap?
EVE Well, yes.
THAMLE Do you think I meant it in a sexual manner?
EVE I think nothing on't.
THAMLE That's a fair thought to stay between virgin's legs.
EVE What is?
THAMLE Nothing.
EVE You certainly are happy today.
THAMLE Who, I?
EVE Yes.
THAMLE What is man to do but be merry? Look you upon my mother, and how happy she looks, yet my father died within two months.
EVE No, it has been twice as long.
THAMLE So long? Two months and not forgotten? There's hope then that a great man's memory may outlive him by half a year, but, he must have been a good man; or else his memory will be of suffering.
The show begins. Enter a beautiful King and Queen, after some time and conversation, the King falls asleep in the garden, and the Queen, seeing him asleep, leaves him. Later enters another robed man, and taking off the king's crown, pours poison in his ear, and exits. The Queen re-enters, sees the body, and lapses into sadness. The poisoner re-enters, decloaked, and pretends to sympathize with her. He woos her with promises of power, and while at first is unwilling crumbles quickly to accept his love. The son, Hamlet, is wary of events, and after seeing the ghost of his father is tasked with killing his uncle, the murderer and new king.
Exit
EVE What could it mean?
THAMLE Mischief is afoot.
EVE Telling will ruin the end.
THAMLE We shall know by this fellow, the actors cannot hide all forever.
EVE Will he tell us what the show means?
THAMLE Aye, or any play you would ask him about.
EVE I will watch the play.
NARRATOR For us, and for our play, we beg you listen carefully.
THAMLE Is this a prologue, or a posy of a ring?
EVE It will be short.
THAMLE As is woman's affection.
Waiting
But wait! Here comes the prime event! Hamlet is about to speak to the ghost of his father, and all shall be revealed.
PLAYER GHOST And revenge his most foul and unnatural murder.
PLAYER HAMLET Murder?
PLAYER GHOST Aye, for it is the same who has incestually married thy mother, Hamlet.
EVE Look, Edward rises!
THAMLE (Aside) What, is he frighted by the false fire as I surmised?
ELIZABETH How do you fare Edward?
JONATHAN Stop the play.
EDWARD Give me some room; away! On with the lights!
Exit all but Thamle and Gabriel
THAMLE Let the deer cry before it is slain. O Gabriel, the ghost's word was true. Did you see? When the ghost revealed its relationship?
GABRIEL Very well did I perceive.
THAMLE A ha! Some music! Quick, for if the king is a comedy he will need some music.
Enter Jéan and John
JÉAN Sir, might I have a word.
THAMLE Indeed, several. Tell me a history if you wish.
JOHN The king is mightily distempered.
THAMLE He has been to the flask again?
JÉAN No, he is angry. The Queen, your mother, has sent me to find you.
THAMLE You're welcome.
JOHN Nay, but give me a whole answer. If you do not, your pardon shall be the end of my business here.
THAMLE I cannot.
JÉAN What?
THAMLE Give you a whole answer. My wits diseased, you know, but to my mother I shall go.
JOHN It is thus of which she speaks. Your behavior is of great amazement.
THAMLE What a good son, whom can so impress a mother! What is your meaning in telling me this?
JEAN She desires to speak with you ere you go to bed.
THAMLE We shall obey were she ten times our mother! Any other business?
JOHN You did like me once, Thamle.
THAMLE And indeed I still do.
JOHN So tell me, what is the cause of this your distemper? You merely hold yourself back if you bar the truth from those who would help you.
THAMLE Sir, I lack capital.
JEAN How can that be, when you have the voice of the king himself for succession?
THAMLE Yes, and there is an old proverb "While the grass grows" or something like that, it grows musty to me.
Enter actor passing by with flutes
Oh a flute! Do let me see one! To continue with you- why do you go about to recover my wind when all you do is make me fall into a spin?
JOHN Thamle, my feeling for you are unmannerly.
THAMLE And that is what I do not understand. Tell me, will you play upon this flute?
JOHN I cannot.
THAMLE Please?
JEAN He lies not, for he truly cannot.
THAMLE I beseech you try it.
JOHN I have never even touched one before.
THAMLE O, but tis as easy as to lie! Cover these holes with your fingers, give it life with your air, and you will find a beauteous discourse of music.
JOHN But I lack the harmony and skill to command it.
THAMLE But, look you now! How unworthy of a thing do you make of me? You would play upon me as a flute, you know where my holes are, you attempt to find the heart of my mystery, you range me from the very top to the very bottom; and there is much music in this little voice, and yet you cannot make it speak. Do you think I am easier played than a piece of metal? Call me what instrument you will, yet you cannot play upon me.
{Long Pause}, enter Jonathan
God bless you sir!
JONATHAN My lord, the queen would seek your audience presently.
THAMLE Do you see that yonder cloud, shaped like a poison wisp?
JONATHAN And indeed it does look to be so.
THAMLE I think it looks like a knife.
JONATHAN It is very much shaped like one.
THAMLE Or how about a baboon?
JONATHAN Very like a baboon.
THAMLE Then I will come to see my mother.
JONATHAN I will tell her.
Exit Jonathan
THAMLE Leave me, musicians.
Exit all but Thamle
Tis now the time of night in which the graveyards yawn and hell itself lashes out, spilling Pandora's contagion into the world: it is now I could drink hot blood, and do such bitter business as the day would shake upon observance. I must be soft, however, and now to my mother I must travel. O self, I must never lose my own nature, must not let true cruelty seep into my heart. But I must act cruel, not unnatural; I shall speak daggers to her and use none; I mark myself a hypocrite by doing thus, but these words must be given, my soul, consent!
Exit
{Scene 3}
A room in the Trade Outpost
Enter Edward, John, and Jean.
EDWARD We like him not and it seems an error to us to let his madness run. Prepare yourselves; I am hereby dispatching you, and he to England will with you: We cannot endure hazard so dangerous as which hourly grows out of his lunacies.
JEAN We will ourselves provide, as it is our duty to protect the many many people who depend on yourself to keep safe and full.
JOHN Indeed, when majesty cease, such as is being done within Thamle, it sucks down that which is around it, much like the fabled whirlpools. Like tethers, in this case, are atach'd thousands, each of which, added together, will cause boisterous ruin. Never alone did a king sigh, but with the groan of the people as well.
EDWARD Arm you, I pray, to this speedy voyage, for we shall imprison this fear, which even now roams too freely.
JOHN&JEAN We will make haste.
Exit Jean and John, Enter Jonathan
JONATHAN My lord, he travels now to his mother's office; where within I shall hide behind the drapery to listen, and to convey the context of what is spoken. Fare you well, I'll call upon you before bed to tell you of what I have learned.
EDWARD Thank you, good sirrah.
Exit Jonathan
O, if even Thamle can smell deception on the wind the deed must truly stink to heaven. It is a grievous offence, a brother's murder. O but that I could escape it! I must carry on, and yet my conscience guides me back again. It was this very cursed hand, and yet I stand where I began. What if God cannot see fit to forgive me? What if there isn't enough power in all the heavens to clean me? What if I am forgiven? Then I'll look up; my fault will be past. But what sort of prayer can cause forgiveness when one murders a brother? None can, for I still possess the belongings of that whom I did murder; our crown, our ambition and our queen. Can one be pardoned yet still retain the offence? It is common in this world for the wealth of the murder to shroud the offence, but what is below is not so up high. So what does one do when one cannot repent? O wretched state! O my heart as black as death! And o my soul, struggling to be free, is all the more engaged. Help, angels! Make assay! I must hope that all will be well.
Edward retires to pray, enter Thamle (atwitch)
THAMLE1 Now should I do it, as now he is praying!
THAMLE2 No, no, musn't hurt him, let him rot, while his thoughts remain below!
THAMLE1 But yet when he dies I am revenged!
THAMLE2 Ah, but the nasty king shouldn't be made to ascend when his thoughts are pure!
THAMLE1 And yet a villain has killed my father, and as his only son the duty falls to me to send him to heaven.
THAMLE2 No! The tricksy kin would steal what is precious, his very soul! He took our father before confession, so should we do to him!
THAMLE1 We are so agreed. But remember what the spirit has said, to leave our mother in peace, and let her reflect in hindsight.
THAMLE2 She is a precious!
Exit Thamle
EDWARD My words spring up, but thoughts remain below: never to heaven do words without thoughts go.
{Scene 4}
Elizabeth's room
Enter Elizabeth and Jonathan
JONATHAN He will come straight. All you have to do is really lay into him: tell him you cannot stand his behavior and that you have blocked much of his energy. I will hide right between the curtains. Please, be round with him.
THAMLE (Outside) Mother, mother! Mother mother mother mother mother!
ELIZABETH Quickly, withdraw, I hear his approach.
Jonathan hides behind curtains, enter Thamle
THAMLE Now what have I done wrong this time, mother?
ELIZABETH You have your father much offended.
THAMLE Thats a coincidence! You have my father much offended as well!
ELIZABETH Come, come, you answer with an idle tongue.
THAMLE Go, go, you question with a wicked one.
ELIZABETH Why, how now!?
THAMLE Have I done something more to offend?
ELIZABETH Have you forgotten my place?
THAMLE Nay, you are your husband's brother's wife; and- if only it were not so- you are my mother.
ELIZABETH If that be the case I'll call in others to speak in my stead.
THAMLE Oh come, sit you down; and do not budge, you shall not go until you have seen your innermost self.
ELIZABETH Are you going to cut me open? Oh, help! help! help!
JONATHAN Someone help!
THAMLE (Drawing his sword) How now, a bug? I would kill it but for a ducat! (Stabs at the curtains)
JONATHAN O! I am slain! And yet, there is an odd sensation. My history comes flooding back, and I feel as though I should impart upon you my experiences. I will not, however, as my time is short, so I shall impart the more important of my lessons. Never drink downstream, and do not drink the water of foreign countries. How I went so long here, I have no clue, mind you, and yet now I think it did in some small part have to do with my undoing. Remember always, two wrongs do not make a right, but humorously enough, two large lefts do. They say a pen is mightier than a sword, but I discovered the opposite just recently when my pen, supposedly blocking an intruding sword, was smashed in twain. Remember, birds of a feather flock together; I just wish there were others like me. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, that's another rubbish one. It led to my pen being broken. Whats that? A watched pot never boils? What would I have been doing watching a pot? I'd comment on not biting the hand that feeds you, but that one never gave me any trouble. Doing what the hand wanted, however, also led to my pen being broken. O, a wonderful man once said, "Life is pleasant. Death is pleasant. It's the transition that's troublesome." - It's actually not that bad, I assure you. Honestly I feel better now, maybe I'll go for a walk- (Tries to get up) O! But alas, I'm not quite dead yet. Ah, well, I am ready to meet my maker. Whether he is up to the greater task of meeting me, however, is yet to be seen.
O! Remember, there are two certainties in life, death and taxes. I've officially met the former.
ELIZABETH No! What have you done?
THAMLE Was it the king? It didn't sound like him.
ELIZABETH Oh, what a bloody deed you've done!
THAMLE A bloody deed indeed! Tis almost as bad, however, to kill a king and marry with his brother.
ELIZABETH To kill a king?
THAMLE That's what I said. (Lifts curtain and discovers Jonathan) Farewell you four, wretched, intruding, yet thoughtful, fool. I took you for your better. Peace madam! Sit you down, for you still cannot go, and I need to tell you thoughts that will make you quiver in hindsight.
ELIZABETH What have I done to deserve such harsh treatment?
THAMLE A horrid crime, which, were you listening, would already have heard.
ELIZABETH And what 'horrid crime' spurns you so?
THAMLE You conspired with a claimant, and in doing so urged the death of the king. As if 'twere not enough, you then fled to incestuous dowry of power with his very killer!
ELIZABETH Thamle, speak no more, you have turned my eyes inside my soul, and can now truly see my innermost soul, which is covered in black spots that will never fade. Your words, like daggers, enter my ears, speak no more!
Enter Ghost
THAMLE What would your gracious figure have of me?
ELIZABETH He's mad!
THAMLE Have you come to chide your son, who, lax in his duties, has let too much time elapse? Tell me!
GHOST This visit is merely to sharpen your almost blunt purpose. look at your mother, she looks on in amazement, step in between her and her fighting soul. Speak to her, Thamle.
THAMLE How fares you, lady?
ELIZABETH How is it with you, who with the air holds conversation? O my poor son, sprinkle water on thy hot distemper. Upon what do you look?
THAMLE Upon him! Look you how pale he seems!
ELIZABETH To whom do you speak?
THAMLE Do you see nothing there?
ELIZABETH Nothing at all, and yet I see everything.
THAMLE Did you hear nothing?
ELIZABETH No, naught but ourselves.
THAMLE Why, look! Hence he flies! Its father, in his outfit as he lived! Look! Even now! Out at the portal!
ELIZABETH This is but an image from your mind.
THAMLE It is not madness that I have uttered, you know this.
ELIZABETH You have broken my heart in twain.
THAMLE Then be done with the worser part, throw it out and let the purer shine through. I bid thee goodnight: but do not go to my uncle's bed, pretend you have temperance even if you have it not. Refrain tonight, and it will get easier as time goes on. Baby steps. Once more, good night. For the life spent here (Pointing to Jonathan) I do repent. Heaven has seen fit to punish me with this, and I will answer well the death I gave him. Just realize: I must be cruel if only to be kind again when all is said and done.
ELIZABETH What should I do?
THAMLE Let me reiterate, as the information still has not permeated: Do not go again to mine uncle's bed, and no matter what he tempts you with do not unravel what I have built by telling him the goings-on, for remember, I am not mad, just mad in craft. I must go to England, you remember?
ELIZABETH Oops, I had forgot myself.
THAMLE (aside) Oh, what a mother to forget her son's own banishment.
THAMLE Indeed, the king's letters have been sealed, and I go with my two schoolfellows whom I trust as much as pit vipers. They have their orders, they are to lead me there, and most likely try for my demise. Let them try, however, for being as simple-minded as they are they have yet to realize I am alert. I shall defeat them with their own knavery, have no fear. I shall away with this man here; I'll move him into the neighboring room. He is still, I believe, but was in life a foolish prattling knave. Good night, mother.
Exit, Thamle dragging Jonathan