Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, We Cry by the Script, Eyes Open by Taylor Swift or Twilight.
Author's note: This chapter will also most likely be fairly short and will alternate between perspectives. I'm so sorry for such a long wait. Hope you enjoy it.
Empty.
Meaningless.
Toxic.
All words that describe her and Mason's relationship. They've been together for eight months, and sometimes Stella wonders if that's how it was always like. If their relationship has always been so empty, void of emotions, understanding and love. It's true that they have their good days. Sometimes he makes her feel special and their kisses have a small spark (which is all she really looks for anymore, the tiniest reason to stay). Those are the days Stella sticks around for. But the rest of the time, it feels so pointless. The kisses are empty, the sex isn't that great and when she's with him she can't breathe. The comments he makes, that may seem harmless to him, eat away at Stella's insides. They make her want to be better. To be someone who's good enough. And when he points little things out, like the fact she was eating a brownie the other day, she tells herself that he's trying to help her. He's trying to make her the best that she can be. He's trying to make her worth his while. But even as she's screaming his name, that one question is still in the back of her mind, lingering. If it's so pointless, why doesn't she leave?
"God you're hot," And then she forgets. She forgets the fact, that she had just caught him in the Janitor's closet with some Cheerio slut. She forgets all of the rumours she hears everyday about him. She forgets every worry, every insult, every criticism. She forgets because of the way the comment fills her up inside. The way the comment makes her feel warm inside. How it makes her feel wanted. And just like that, she's no longer breaking up with him. Her lips are on his, and she remembers from English class a word to describe her relationship: Ouroboros. The snake that devours its own tail. As soon as their relationship ends, it starts again. But it's not really starting anew; it's starting the same cycle over and over again.
"You have no idea how much I want you," Stella relishes in the compliment, letting it fill her blood and give her a new type of high. But no matter how much she has craved male attention, since her father passed away, she's still not an idiot. She knows that the compliments are empty, and meaningless. Nothing but a successful way of getting off the hook and into her pants. But the way they make her feel is addicting. An addiction that she just can't give up, because Mason makes her feel special. Something that she never feels, except when she's with him. If they are over, she's stuck alone. With her insecurities and feelings of abandonment from her parents. She needs him, and he needs her. So, for the next forty minutes, she stays pressed up against a dirty mop.
"Estrella!" Stella smiled when the sweet voice filled her ears. She turned around to come face to face with her best friend Emaline Quincy, who was awkwardly leaning against the row of lockers, while fiddling with her hands.
"Hey, Em. What's up?"
"Last time I checked, the sky, the roof, and the ceiling," She replied back sarcastically, still fiddling with her hands.
"Finally learned the fine art of sarcasm now did you?" Stella teased, sticking her tongue out at Emily. "No, seriously. I have to get to Biology, so are you gonna tell me what you want or not?"
"So-um-I-maybe-" She stuttered. Stella rolled her eyes. Whenever Emily got nervous about something, a stutter would come and not leave, until she was completely calm. It got annoying.
"Just spit it out,"
"I-I want you to join glee club!"
People often considered Emily to be very...perfect. Everything about her seemed to be perfect. From the way she danced to the way she walked down the hallway with her head held high. The way that whenever she walked her step never faltered. How she could get up in front of a crowd and speak with no fear. But what they didn't know was that all of this was on purpose.
Countless nights she had stayed awake degrading herself because she missed a step in her new routine or she botched a high note. Every day she found something new that was wrong with herself, and worked for hours trying to overcome it because if she wasn't perfect at everything, what was she? She would be just another mediocre dancer, who could remember the steps. She would be just another singer who knew how to hit the high notes. She would be just another straight A student that knew how to solve Algebra problems. Being perfect at one thing isn't that impressive, but when you put them all together…it created a whirlwind of a person. So she prided herself on always being the best she could be.
But this time she had screwed up big time. It's not like it wasn't important to her, she had just forgot. It had simply slipped her mind. At least that's what she tells herself. But she knows the truth, by forgetting that one single event she had affected many lives. But still it's not like she had meant too. Two hours ahead of time, she was watching one of her favourite TV shows, and she was just waiting for 8pm. She was all ready for the phone call that would come, and she would hop into her truck and drive. And the phone did ring…it was just someone else on the other line. It was the voice of her choir group's leader, asking her if it was alright if she filled in for him at the 6pm concert. Emily had almost declined knowing that she had plans but as soon as the word solo hit her ears, she had agreed. And besides, she would be back before 8 right? Wrong. When she had walked through the front door at 9, she was met with the sight of her mother crying, and her dad talking to some police officers. That was the moment she realized how much she had screwed up.
She had forgotten to pick up her ten year old brother and his best friend from their hockey game, at 8pm. They had called her to let her know that they were done, but she hadn't answered. She hadn't answered because she was busy bolting out a high F while her little brother had decided that it would be okay to walk home with his friend. Apparently an old man had approached them in a black van and offered them candy. Liam had declined but after walking a few more blocks with Jeremy, he had realized the van was still following them. If it wasn't for a police car nearby, who knows what could have happened.
None of her family had blamed her for the incident; they knew that it was an honest mistake. Frank and Lydia had never liked dwelling on what could've been. They were just grateful that their son was okay, and they saw that as their own miracle. But Emily couldn't forgive herself. It had been two weeks, and she couldn't stop thinking about it. She didn't understand how she could be so careless? She had always prided herself on being absolutely perfect and when it really comes down to it she makes a risky mistake?
No, everything was definitely not okay. But she had to become more perfect. She had to find a way to become a better person in the end.
She had to be perfect, again.
"No,"
"No?"
"There's no fucking way that I'm joining Homo Explosion," Stella hissed grabbing her Biology book out of her locker and slamming the door shut. Emily had to be a fucking moron to think that she would ever join glee club. She might've joined if she was a Junior seven years ago, and they were looking for volunteers. Hell, if she joined seven years ago, she might've actually enjoyed it. But seven years ago, Glee was cool and the members were winners. Now it was just the loser club that some blonde tramp wanted to rebut in order to relive the good old days. Aside from that, Stella was already known as 'Esty-D', 'Any-fella-Stella' and on occasion 'Start of Loserville', did she really need to be known as a geek too?
But as she began to walk away, she felt Emily's hand grasp her shoulder and pull her in order to face her. Every single point in her resolve, seems to crumble away as she sees Emily's striking blue eyes filled with tears, and her bottom lip trembling as she squeaks out, "Please,"
Stella shakes her head, silently cursing herself for what she was about to do. But this seemed like it was a big deal to Emily, and she was already known as a slut all over town, so she could handle being a glee loser too.
"Fine,"
It had been one of those days that made Holly question why she had returned to Lima let alone took control of Glee club. Mr. Figgins was acting very strangely around her, her parents had called to let her know that her little sister Anne was getting married (indirectly asking when she was going to get on with it), she had absolutely no allies at Mckinley, out of nowhere Sue had arrived spewing off insults at her every chance she had gotten (which actually confuses her because they used to be some sort of friends), and still not one kid had signed up for Glee club.
It had only been a week since she had offered to coach Glee club, and she was already regretting it. She understood that in the beginning, not everyone wanted to sign up for Glee club and Will had stayed and worked harder than ever to convince kids to join. But he had at least five kids that had signed up, and he only had to find seven more. Not one kid had even shown an interest in signing up for her glee club, and she was beginning to lose the faith that anyone ever would.
She was drawn out of her thoughts, at the sound of a knock on the choir room door. At first thought she had just assumed that it was Sue ready to call her another name that no one but Sue would ever think of. At second thought she thought it would be another football jock that thought he actually had a chance with her. But when she turned around, it wasn't what she was expecting, at all.
Standing at the door side by side were two girls. The first one had what looked like it was sheet music in her hands, and she was practically bouncing in her place. She had long wavy ash blonde hair, blue eyes, dimples and she kind of reminded Holly of Bella from Twilight. Now don't get her wrong, she can't stand those movies or even the books, but it was something about how pale her skin was that made her think of the girl who played her in the movies. Her clothing style seemed sort of vintage, and she recognized her as Emily Quincy. She had been told that she was what every parent dreamed their kid would be like. She was beautiful, she was smart, she was funny and she was in the Celibacy club.
The second girl, she immediately recognized as Stella Thompson. She had wavy brown-red hair, her eyes were dark brown with little specks of gold in them, she had wide hips and um-how does she say this-a very large chest area. For some odd reason she reminded her of Quinn, but not in her appearance but just in her clothing style. She had this innocent girl feel to her clothes, which totally contradicted what she's heard about Stella. Even after only a week at this school, she had heard so many rumours about the girl, that it was hard not to believe any.
"How may I help you?" She asked the two girls, gathering up the sheet music that she was looking at before she had been lost in her thoughts. Many of the artists names stuck out to her: Nirvana, The Beatles, John Lennon and ACDC to name a few. Where did the folder come from anyways?
"We wanted to audition for Glee club," Emily giggled, jumping up once and clapping her hands together. While, Stella smiled in response and gave a slight nod in affirmation.
To say Holly was startled was an understatement. "Okay, of course. Which one of you would like to go first?"
"I would. Is that okay?" Emily asked. Holly nodded to her, and gestured to the stereo that sat on her desk, indicating to put in her CD. Emily smiled, before pulling out a circular disc, and placing it in the stereo.
Everybody's waiting
Everybody's watching
Even when you're sleeping
Keep your ey-eyes open
The tricky thing
Is yesterday we were just children
Playing soldiers
Just pretending
Dreaming dreams with happy endings
In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords
But now we've stepped into a cruel world
Where everybody stands and keeps score
Keep your eyes open
Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard
Every lesson forms a new scar
They never thought you'd make it this far
But turn around (turn around), oh they've surrounded you
It's a showdown (showdown) and nobody comes to save you now
But you've got something they don't
Yeah you've got something they don't
You've just gotta keep your eyes open
Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes
Keep your feet ready
Heartbeat steady
Keep your eyes open
Keep your aim locked
The night goes dark
Keep your eyes open
(Keep your eyes open [4x])
Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Holly beamed, as Emily finished her song. All she had been hoping for was a couple of mediocre singers to start off the club, or maybe one mediocre singer and another one that could sway in the background. But she hadn't been expecting that. She brought a hand up to wipe away the tears that had suddenly formed on her face. "That was amazing, welcome to Glee Club,"
Emily smiled. "Thank you so much,"
"No thank you. Are you ready Stella?"
Stella only nodded before standing up and smoothing down her black skirt. As she walked over to the stereo, she put a hand on Emily's shoulder and whispered something quietly in her ear that made the latter smile.
But when she got to the stereo, she started to feel nervous. She didn't have butterflies in her stomach like she did in the beginning, it felt like there were elephants in there who were trying—and failing—to fly. No one had ever heard her sing before—she didn't even know what she sounded like—not her brother, not Emily, not Mason, no one. What if she was bad? What if she made a fool out of herself? What if she was truly as worthless as she felt? But she forced all of her worries away long enough, so she could reach out her shaky hand and press play.
Together we cry
Together we cry
Jenny was a poor girl, living in a rich world
Named her baby hope when she was just 14
She was hoping for a better world for this little girl
But the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree
When she gets that call, Hope's too far gone
Her baby's on the way, with nothing left inside
Together We Cry
What about the John Play, could have gone the whole way
Lighting up the stage tryna get a deal
Now he's lighting up the wrong way, something for the pain
Man you wanna see this kid he was so frickin' unreal
When he gets that call, he's too far gone
Can't get it together to sing one song
And they won't hear tonight the words of a lullaby
Together We Cry [X4]
Mary's ambition, she wants to be a politician
She's been dreaming about it since she was a girl
She thought, that she'd be the one who could change the world
Always tryna pave the way for women in a man's world
But life happened, house, kids, two cars, husband hits the jar,
Checks that don't go very far now
Now she ain't making changes, she keeps her mind on her wages
The only rattling cages are her own
Together We Cry [X4]
There's so much sad gonna flood the ocean
We're all in tears for a world that's broken
Together We Cry
There comes a time when every bird has to fly
At some point every rose has to die
It's hard to let your children go, leave home, where they go, who knows?
Gettin' drunk, gettin' stoned all alone
Teach a man to fish, feed a man for life
Show your kids the truth, and hope they never lie
Instead of reading in a letter that they've gone to something better
Bet you're sorry now, I won't be coming home tonight
I'm sick of looking for those heroes in the sky
To teach us how to fly
Together we cry, we cry, we cry
Together We Cry
Together We Cry
There's so much sad gonna flood the ocean
With all the tears from a world that's broken
Together We Cry [4x]
She sighs, as the music cuts out, leaving nothing but the sound of her trying to catch her breath. For the first time in her life, she had finally took a chance on herself. She took a chance singing, for once in her life not caring if she was bad or if she wasn't worth someone's time, just letting go and having fun. Even if she didn't make it into the club, or if she wasn't a good singer, it took a lot of strength for her to get up and sing that song.
She was dragged out of her thoughts, by the voice of Holly telling her something that she didn't quite catch. "Excuse me?"
"I said welcome to the New Directions,"
A/N: And that is the second chapter. First off, I'm so sorry for not updating in such a long time, it's just I've been so busy with horse shows, 4-H and hanging out with my friends. Second, I hope that I represented these two characters in a good enough way. And last but not least, I will tell you the characters coming up next chapter. They are…. Ricky Alvarez, Hayley Rameriz and Elisa Coughlan!