Another huge thank you to my beta, that-feminist-soprano. :D Also, I ironically got a cold right after writing this. So weird...
9- The Common Cold
"Achooooooo!" Alan yelled as he sneezed all over Jeff's desk.
"Seriously, son," Jeff said, wiping moisture off his sleeve, "you must learn to cover your mouth."
"And you don't have to yell 'achoo' just because you're sneezing," Gordon said.
"I thought that's what you're supposed to do," Alan said. "What's wrong with me anyway? I feel like I'm dying."
"If you're sick, why haven't you gone to see Brains?" his father asked.
"Brains gives me the creeps," Alan said. "Can't Tin-Tin treat me?"
"Tin-Tin is Brains' engineering assistant, not his nurse," Gordon pointed out. "Besides, she doesn't want you getting snot all over her."
Jeff looked at his youngest son and put on his most serious expression.
"Go see Brains this instant," he ordered.
"But—" Alan started.
"Now," Jeff insisted.
"Fineeeee," Alan whined. "But I won't enjoy it."
A few minutes later, Brains had a thermometer in Alan's mouth as he laid on a bed in the infirmary.
"You have the common c-cold," Brains said.
"Ok," Alan said. "That doesn't sound too bad. So, what can you do for me?"
"I'm sorry, A-Alan, but t-there's nothing I c-can do."
"What do you mean there's nothing you can do? Isn't it your job to cure me? What kind of genius are you, anyway?"
"I'm sorry," Brains repeated. "B-but there is no c-cure for t-the common c-cold."
"Are you telling me that it's the 21st century and we still haven't cured the common cold?" Alan said, flabbergasted. "We have rockets and robots and nuclear power, but we can't do anything about a cold?"
"Y-you are c-correct," Brains said.
"This is unbelievable!" Alan said, throwing up his hands in defeat.
"I c-can g-give you s-some v-vitamin C," Brains said, stuttering more than usual under the pressure of Alan's annoyed gaze.
"Nevermind," Alan said, jumping up from the bed. "I'll take care of this myself."
"A-Alan!" Brains called as the Tracy boy started to leave the room. "A c-cold is highly contagious. You s-should stay h-here."
"What?" Alan asked. "You can't help me and now you want me to stay cooped up in here? No way!"
Alan stormed out of the infirmary and Brains opened a link to Jeff Tracy.
About thirty seconds after Alan left the infirmary, there was a knock on Tin-Tin's door. She looked up from her place on her bed, putting down her book and calling,
"Come in."
The door opened to reveal a miserable looking Alan. He didn't say anything before he came into her room, collapsing next to her on her bed.
"I feel terrible," he complained.
"Why don't you go to the infirmary?" Tin-Tin asked, trying not to be annoyed by Alan's intrusion.
"I was just there," he said. "Brains said he can't help me. I'm going to die and he doesn't even care."
"Don't be silly, Alan," Tin-Tin said, giving up on her book. "I'm sure you're not going to die."
He looked up at her with a pitiful expression, pushing out his bottom lip to exaggerate his condition.
"But what if I was?" he asked. "Brains says there's no cure. What if my days are numbered? Will you take me back?"
Tin-Tin moved away from Alan on the bed.
"Alan, we've talked about this," she said.
"I'm so sick," he whined, moving closer to her again.
"Alan, stop this," Tin-Tin said, trying to keep her voice kind despite her rising anger.
"Please just take care of me," he said. "I feel so horrible."
Tin-Tin let out a long breath, considering. Alan kept looking at her, slowly creeping toward her while she was distracted.
"Alright," she said. "Come to the kitchen and I'll make you some tea."
"Can you bring it to my room instead?" he asked.
"Ok, that's it," she said, standing from the bed and pulling on his arm. "Get out. Go get someone else to take pity on you. I'm done."
"Come on, Tin-Tin."
"No," she said, pointing at the door. "Out."
Alan let out a sigh and slowly got up from the bed. He took his sweet time getting to the door and, once there, he lingered and said,
"Ok, but if I die, just remember that you had your chance."
"Goodbye, Alan."
With another sigh, Alan finally left Tin-Tin in peace.
As he stepped out into the hallway, he came face to face with his father.
"Hey, Dad," he said sheepishly.
"Alan, you're supposed to be in the infirmary! Brains has informed me that your illness is highly contagious. You're going to get the entire island sick if you're not quarantined."
Alan waved away his father's words, saying,
"Brains is overreacting, as usual."
"Listen, Alan, if you don't get to the infirmary, I'll just send you up to Five. You can't get anyone sick if you're in space."
"Ugh," Alan moaned. "I'll go. But can someone besides Brains take care of me? He has the worst bedside manner."
"Very well," Jeff conceded. "I'll see who I can recruit. But you have to get to the infirmary this instant."
Alan was lying in bed in the infirmary for fifteen minutes before he was joined by his new caretaker.
"Hey, bro!" Gordon said, walking in with a cup of something green in his hand.
"You're the one Dad got to take care of me?" Alan asked.
"I volunteered, actually," Gordon said.
"I'm calling Dad," Alan threatened.
"Go ahead," Gordon said. "But no one else wants the job, so you're stuck with me."
Alan pouted and crossed his arms over his chest, out of things to say.
"Ok, first thing on the menu," Gordon said, handing Alan the cup of mysterious green stuff. "Brains said you need your vegetables. So I made you a mega-smoothie. It's full of kale and spinach and carrots and all that good stuff. So, drink up!"
Alan tried to sniff it, but his nose was so congested that he couldn't smell anything. So, he took a sip and was totally unprepared for the completely disgusting taste.
"UGH!" Alan shouted, pushing the cup back into Gordon's hands. "I can barely taste anything and this is horrendous! I can't drink this!"
"But you have to," Gordon said. "Doctor's orders. Just chug it. It'll be over before you know it."
"I hate this," Alan whined, but then he plugged his nose and drank the entire glass as fast as he could. As he did this, Gordon covertly took out his phone, getting ready to take a picture of Alan once he'd finished. When he had, he handed the glass back to Gordon and let go of his nose, making a face of disgust. Gordon just laughed at him and snapped a picture.
"That was priceless," Gordon commented, showing Alan the picture he'd taken.
"Hey! Get rid of that!" Alan said, reaching for Gordon's phone.
"No way!" Gordon said, slipping his phone safely back in his pocket.
"I'm calling Dad!"
"Good luck convincing anyone else to babysit you."
"I'm not a baby," Alan insisted.
"Debatable," Gordon replied.
The bickering continued for some time, until Alan finally tired himself out and fell asleep. Gordon took the opportunity of Alan's unconsciousness to send the embarrassing picture to everyone on the Island, John, and Penny. He laughed as the responses filtered in.
John: Did Alan finally look at himself in the mirror?
Virgil: Vengeance!
Scott: Gords did u use my protein shake blender 4 sumthing gross?
Tin-Tin: Gordon, what have you done now?
Penny: Thank you for sharing. It made my day.
Jeff: Son, we have to have a talk about how to properly care for your brother
A few days later, Alan was on his feet again, only coughing occasionally.
"Hey, that vitamin C stuff really works!" he said, walking into the lounge to join his father and brothers.
"Speaking of vitamin C," Jeff said from his place at his desk, "has everyone been taking their supplements from Brains? I don't want anyone else to get this illness."
"Yes, Father," Virgil replied immediately.
"I'm strong enough to fight this thing on my own," Scott answered. "I don't need any help from Brains or vitamins or anything."
"Scott!" Jeff said, immediately angry. "I don't care what you think. You're to do as I ask!"
Before Scott could answer, they heard a small, high-pitched sneeze and turned to see Tin-Tin standing in the doorway.
"Alan!" Virgil said. "You got Tin-Tin sick? How did you manage that?"
"Please don't tell me that you two are back together," Gordon said, sounding legitimately concerned.
Tin-Tin wrinkled her nose at the suggestion, but before she could give an answer, they heard another high-pitched sneeze. It had obviously not come from Tin-Tin, since her mouth had been closed the entire time, so the men were confused as to its source.
Their answer came a second later when Penny stepped into the lounge, her nose pink and her eyes watering slightly.
"Gordon, I'm disappointed," she said, her refined voice muffled by congestion. "I can't believe you have so little faith in me."
"Penny is here!?" Jeff said.
"Not at all," Gordon answered Penny, steamrolling over Jeff's exclamation. "I'm just confused why Tin-Tin is sick when she didn't visit Alan in the infirmary at all."
"I think I can solve that mystery," Tin-Tin offered. All eyes were on her as she said, "Alan came to my room to complain about being sick. He asked me to take care of him, but I refused. If I'd known he was so contagious, I wouldn't have let him in at all."
Penny put her hands on her hips and shot Alan an angry glare.
"Uh-oh," Scott said. "I know that look. Alan, you better run for it."
"Alan, how could you be so selfish?" Virgil asked.
"Seriously, Alan," Gordon said. "Now we won't see Penny and Tin-Tin for days. And it's all because of you."
"Speaking of Penny," Jeff said, "when did you get here?"
"Yes, you two should be lying down," Virgil said, ignoring his father's question.
"I suppose you're right," Penny said. "We'll be in Tin-Tin's room. Please send Alan in with some tea and whatever Brains thinks we should take. I don't want for any more of you to get sick unnecessarily."
Penny led Tin-Tin out of the lounge and everyone turned their attention on Alan.
"Alan, how could you be so irresponsible?" Virgil asked.
"You'd better get on that tea," Scott suggested. "I wouldn't trust Penny to be too patient today. And I'd watch your back."
Alan just looked down at his lap, his face red with embarrassment. Jeff, however, was still mystified by Penny's unannounced arrival.
"Will someone please tell me when Penny got here?"
"Dad," Gordon said, "there are some things that are just better left a mystery."
"Fine," Jeff replied. "But what's not a mystery is you're grounded."
"Every time!" Gordon shouted, putting up his hands in surrender.
"No yelling in the house," Jeff reminded him. "I'm going to get Tin-Tin to make me coffee."
"She's sick," Virgil reminded him. "I'll make it for you instead."
Jeff looked over at Alan and Virgil worried that his father might burst a blood vessel.
"Alan, son, you have ruined everything."
Jeff stomped out, headed for his study, and Scott said,
"Alan, you'd better put the kettle on."