Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
It was the sound of the machines that had first awakened Jane from her coma-like sleep. Her first interpretation of the noise was that Jesse had set an alarm in order to awaken them bright and early for the first day of the rest of their lives. Though she wanted to propel herself upward and out of the bed she felt too heavy to make the first move; she decided she would wait for his sweet kisses to stir her out of paralysis. Besides, she was making plans in her mind of how the day would go.
First they would go online and buy the tickets.
Second they would pack all of their stuff and head out of the door. Of course they would need to figure out a way to transport the money but they could do that after breakfast. Which just so happened to be number three on the list.
Jane felt absolutely empty like crushed toothpaste that had been rolled all the way to the top so everything could shoot out to leave thin garbage in its place. She knew she and Jesse hadn't really been eating much but it felt like she hadn't eaten in weeks. It felt like there was nothing inside of her and when she lifted her hand to touch her stomach something awful and familiar jarred her from her lucid dreaming. There was something tugging on her hand, a long thin tube connecting her to some dripping substance and suddenly the beeping didn't sound like an alarm anymore. The distant background noise had become loud and clear like she had wandered into traffic and when her eyes flashed open she let out a horrified scream.
"Jesse! Where's Jesse!" she shouted angrily, trying to get her numb fingers to work so she could pull out the IV.
"Jane! Jane!"
Her father suddenly stormed into the room and was at her side, pulling down her arms in the second it took to cross the threshold. Jane was shaking wildly, crying madly, flailing crazily as if all of her action would wake her from the nightmare she had found herself in. She was trying to slap her dad away but she had become so weak she couldn't even swat away a fly. She was terrified of what had happened and what it could mean. Did she O.D.? Did Jesse!
"Jane! Calm down! Calm down! It's alright!"
She shook her head, "Where's Jesse? Where is he!? Is he okay? I want to talk to Jesse! Jesse!"
"That scum bag isn't here," Donald growled, "I went back to find you choking on your vomit while he slept and when the police went to get him he had taken everything and left. He hasn't called or come to visit you. He doesn't care about you, Jane. He's sick little parasite."
"No!" she cried, vibrating with the emotion exploding out of her as if she were going to throw up once again. She couldn't believe the truth. Something must have happened to prevent him from seeing her. They were in love after all! They were in love! He wouldn't just leave her! It was impossible!
"He's gone, Jane."
Donald's voice had become much calmer all of a sudden and it was that gentle ease that began to dwindle her hysteria. Though she still cried her thrashing subsided so that she could look into the face of the man she had disappointed her entire life. They had lied to each other plenty of times but she knew he couldn't lie when he used that voice. His eyes had become crystal clear and they were staring into hers with that no-nonsense expression that meant he was getting down to business. His hands slowly grasped hers to put the final nail in the coffin.
"And he's never coming back."
But in Saul's living room Jesse paced back and forth like a caged lion searching for weakness in the structure so that he could escape and attack. His face was red and his eyes blood shot and his cheeks stained and his clothes wrinkled and lived in. His hair was an absolute mess from all the times he had grabbed a chunk in desperation only to release it when nothing could come of it. His teeth were constantly clenched as he cursed silently to himself. He was shaking; always was he shaking.
"Listen, kid, I didn't call Ripley's so even if you do pace your way to the center of the Earth no one's going to find out. I suggest you take a seat, eat some of that nice mac and cheese I made you, and wait for Walt to come back with news. Deal?"
Jesse continued to walk.
Saul huffed angrily as he reclined backward into his sofa, "You know, you ought to be a little more grateful! Walt could have left you there for the police to deal with and then where would you be?"
"Don't you understand?" Jesse screamed as he stopped in mid step to turn to the man, "It doesn't matter! She's dead! I know it, she's dead!"
"Now don't go jumping to conclusions," Saul stood up from the couch as he reached toward the man that couldn't hold in his explosion anymore, "We don't know anything yet. For all we know her father could have come just in time to save the day."
"We were supposed to go to New Zealand together!" Jesse shouted, "We were gonna get clean and leave!"
"You guys can still do that!" Saul tried as he put his hand on Jesse's shoulder.
"No!" he cried as he slowly crumbled against Saul's chest, "If she's dead I don't know what I'll do! I love her! Okay? I love her more than anything in the world!"
Saul gazed at the kid nervously, holding him awkwardly and barely at all. He didn't know how to comfort the grieving man and had run out of kind sentiments for him anyway. The only thing he could think of was to pat his back and sigh, "We'll think of something, alright? We'll think of something."
Just then the front door opened to reveal the almighty Heisenberg was suddenly in attendance. Jesse jumped away from the man and toward Walter as he barked out, "Where is she?! Is she alright?! What happened?!"
His thick sunglasses masked his eyes but his face still appeared grim. Jesse grabbed his arms as he shrieked out his question once more but Walter gave no verbal answer. He leaned forward suddenly and grasped Jesse against his chest for a hard embrace that released the built up sobs from the young man that was his partner. White looked over his head and ignored the pleas of it not to be true as he met Goodman's stare. The lie was for his protection and with the two of them working together he would never know.