A/N: slight trigger warning
You often found yourself hiding out at Prospit most nights; drinking coffee, chatting with friends, bugging Karkat whenever he wasn't busy. The rumors were right, it was a nice place just to sit back and relax and you have no idea why you didn't come here before. It has been a few months after the kiss, and both of you refused to speak, or even think, about it. You completely threw away any odd feelings you felt toward him and your platonic best friendship returned to normal. It was finally Friday and Karkat was going home with you after work. You sipped at your freshly made frappachino as the last people walked out the door and Karkat began closing up shop. A little sigh of happiness escapes your lips, causing Karkat too look over at you and laugh.
"What's got you in such a good mood?" he chuckles, switching the open sign off.
"This." You smile into your coffee, taking another sip, "It's so peaceful and nice and I'm with my best pal, which is pretty cool."
Karkat rolls his eyes at you and continues to tidy up the little coffee shop. The two of you head out around 10. The air is a bit chilly despite it being mid July. "Nice night," you say, looking up at the sky.
When you arrive back at your place you immediately open up netflix, pop a bag of popcorn, and build a blanket fort in the middle of your room. Karkat makes himself comfortable, snuggling into one of your fuzzier blankets.
Halfway through one of Karkat's romcoms, you decide you're hot, like really hot. "It's hot!" you say, falling backwards and spreading your limbs to cool yourself down. "Are you not hot, Karkat?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Shut up Egbert and watch the movie."
"But it's hottttttt!" you sigh. Karkat just shushes you.
"Aren't you hot?" You roll over onto your side. "You'd think you would be with that heavy turtleneck you've got on."
"I'm not hot."
"I can get you one of my shirts, if you are. Come on, bro. No need to be shy!"
"I'm fine."
"Karkat."
"What?"
"I'm gonna get you another shirt."
"John. I'm fine. Really."
But it was too late because you were already up and digging through your drawers. "Here," you say throwing a shirt at him, "You can wear this one. It's my favorite ghostbusters shirt."
"Thanks for the offer, but I'm gonna keep my clothes on."
"Bro."
"..."
"Bro."
"...John I'm trying to watch this movie, could you shut up?"
"But it'S SO HOTTT!" you cry, "I'm gonna faint from this heat! There's no way you're not hot!"
"Well I'm not, so shut up."
If you weren't so hard headed you would give up by now, but you are hard headed and your room is about 1000 degrees right now! A smile slowly creeps across your lips. "Well," you mumble, "I guess I'll just have to change you myself, you big baby."
"Wha-" He says as you pounce, "OH MY GOD JOHN GET OFF ME!"
"No, It's at least a million degrees in here and there is no way I'm going to let you suffer in this huge sweater! I am being a considerate friend here!" You laugh tugging and pulling at the edges of his shirt.
"JOHN NO STOP GET OFF OF ME!"
You continue to pull and he continues to try to fight you off and bring his shirt down every time you nearly get it off. Finally, you give one last strong tug and the shirt comes off. A bewildered shirtless karkat is staring daggers at you. His lip quivers and you know you've screwed yourself over.
"JOHN QUINCY EGBERT YOU GIVE ME MY SHIRT RIGHT NOW. I'M NOT IN THE MOOD TO PLAY YOUR NO HOMO BUT TOTALLY HOMO GAMES!" He motions his hand angrily for you to give it back. You look around nervously, and you see something on his arm. Light colored scars and red lines danced across his tan skin. You look up at him with a worried expression.
"K-Karkat?"
The other boy's eyes go wide and he quickly covers his arms up with one of your blankets. He looks away, "Just give me my shirt."
You hand him back his sweater. He swipes it up and quickly puts it back on. You look him in his dark eyes and gently slip your hands into his, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just don't strip me, that's not cool at all."
"No, I mean are you doing okay? Is there something wrong? You can tell me anything Karkat, I really care about you, you know?"
"Yeah, doofus, I know."
You wrap him in an embrace, gentle yet tight enough to show that you're here for him. "Why would you hurt yourself?"
"John, you really don't need to worry about it, I'm f-"
"No! No! You're not fine! Someone who does that is not fine! You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but don't tell me that you're fine, because then you're just lying to my face!" you raise your voice, which you know is not the best thing to do at the moment, "I love you, Karkat. You're my best friend."
Karkat nestles his nose in the nook of your neck, he lets out a sigh. "I love you, too, John. I'm sorry."
"No, nonnononono." You pull him away to where he's at arms length, "Don't you apologise! You haven't done anything wrong. I'm sorry for raising my voice."
He looks at the floor and takes a deep breath. "I've lost almost everyone close to me." he starts
"What?"
"Shut up, I'm trying to tell you what's wrong."
"Oh, sorry okay."
"I've driven all of my friends away with my dazzling personality, my parents left when I was little, Terezi left because of Dave, and y-you're all I have. I work all the time and I try my best, but it doesn't ever seem to be enough. I'm never enough. Life is just stressful and I'm only 15!" You look sadly at him, "Everything just feels so numb. I was diagnosed with depression last year, and Kankri, my brother, takes me to a psychiatrist every so often."
You frown, "I'm sorry."
He laughs dryly, "It's not your fault."
"What does it feel like?"
"What?"
"Depression."
"Oh uh," he bites his lip, "Depression is like uh, when you're a kid and you hide in one of those blankets that are so big and loose, you get stuck in them. It covers you from head to toe and despite your efforts to wiggle free, you can't get out. Sometimes, your head pops out of the blanket, and you can breathe, but only for a little while, and you forget the rest of your body is stuck. You can only forget for so long though, and suddenly your body is pulled tighter by the wrapped blanket. It's a little scary and you panic; It's a feeling that you'll never get out of this, that everything is completely hopeless, and it's horrible. Does that make any sense?"
Your eyes are starting to fill with tears. "Oh shit, John! Don't cry!" But you're already blubbering like a baby. You once again wrap your arms around your small friend. "I wish I had known. I wish I could do something to make you stop feel like you're trapped and numb and sad. I want to help you!" you cry.
He pats your hair slowly, "Don't leave me, John."
"I wouldn't dream of it."
"I love you so much."
"I love you too, man. You're my best bro."
"Yeah…" you feel hot tears start to soak your shirt. You hug him until both of you have calmed down, but even then you didn't really let go. The two of you fall asleep, an entanglement of limbs and tear streaked faces.
A/N: I'm so sorry