Shell Shock

Writers: Denny and Leila
Rating: PG-RG
Warnings: Ratchet/Azimuth. Violence.
Disclaimer: We value our lives too much to even dare think about claiming Ratchet and Alister as our own. We borrow them for an RP, so don't worry. [Put the Wargroks back into your cage!]
Summary: Everyone's nightmare is to wake up in a cold, dark place without a clue where one is. Sadly, that's what's happened to us. What's even better, we have monsters and weird encounters to endure as well. And then there's them…
Lucky, right? If I ever get out of here, I will need some therapy sessions.

Chapter 30

"Wake up, Ratchet. Breakfast is ready."

A hand gently turned the Lombax's head to the side, then a kiss on the bridge of his nose was bestowed. It was brief, casual – and fleeting. Even more so when the hand and lips were gone just as fast as they had come.

He moaned, a hand rubbing over his face. Blinking, he sat up, seeing Alister at the kitchen table. Ratchet swallowed at the sudden twisting of his stomach before it settled into a heavy knot then shuffled out of bed.

The elder turned to him, blinking a bit. "Are you all right?" He finished putting the plates before he sat down and waited for the other.

"I'm alright, just still a bit tired. I wanted to wait for you, but since I was in bed already, I must have fallen asleep somewhen." He pulled the chair back but hesitated to sit down.

"Nefarious did nothing fishy to you, did he?"

"No, why would he?" He smiled at the younger before he took his hand and tugged slightly. "Come on now, sit down or the pancakes are going to get cold."

Ratchet gave him a look, with added silence to wait and see if Alister got the conclusion. When no such answer came, Ratchet deadpanned, "Because he's Nefarious. It's in his name."

"He didn't do anything to me, no." Azimuth stirred his tea with a bit of milk. "After all, he needs us in top shape to take care of the guards, especially since they attacked Lawrence." A sip from the cup. "As far as I understood, though, the butler is fine. He did not sustain any injuries and had a simple blackout."

As silence was the only answer Alister received, he raised an eyebrow and leant forward. "Are you all right, Ratchet?" He reached out and laid his hand against the other's forehead. "You don't seem to have a fever. Is something the matter?"

The touch seemed to pull him out of his stupor, eyes going plates-round. "Um, sorry, what did you just say?"

"... I asked if you were all right." Azimuth's ear flicked when he drew his hand back. "I wonder if you are."

"Sorry." He drew in a shuddering sigh. "It's just… you said the Shapeshifters attacked Lawrence. This never happened before. And if, I'm sure he could have never been so bad off he couldn't do his jobs.

"Well, apparently I was wrong."

"Apparently it has happened before." Azimuth put a piece of pancake into his mouth and chewed it slowly. "At the very beginning of their existence. Lawrence was attacked, and Nefarious raged so furiously, the Shapeshifters were frightened of him." A pause before he cut another slice of his pancake. "Too bad that it could not hold on much longer than giving them those restraint collars. Now say 'ah'." He stretched out his hand and held the slice of pancake in front of Ratchet's mouth.

"I- what-!" He let out a muffled yelp as Alister pushed the pancake into his mouth. The younger jerked back, mouth automatically closing while his face all but yelled 'what was that for?'

A chuckle left the elder as he seemed quite pleased by Ratchet's reaction. He pulled his fork back and resumed eating, a smile on his lips.

Ratchet huffed, crossing his arms as he chewed on the pancake.

"Is something the matter?" Azimuth tilted his head and looked at the other with a confused gaze.

A loud swallow. "You warned me maybe but I was talking and you just can't shove food into someone's mouth during that."

"Oh. I'm sorry." The elder smiled endearingly before he finished his breakfast. Then he kept watching Ratchet intently, almost as if he was brooding what to do next.

The younger didn't notice as he was wolfing down his own breakfast, some tomatoes on a slice of bread with lots of mayonnaise, though surprisingly not in a messy way.

When he was finished, Azimuth tilted his head and looked at him. Leaning forward, he noticed a little bit of mayonnaise at the corner of Ratchet's mouth. "You missed a spot," he said nonchalantly before lifting the other's head a bit and kissing the white sauce away.

"… Buh!" Ratchet flailed a bit, eyes wide as plates again.

Chuckling, Azimuth withdrew a bit and smiled. Then he gently bumped their heads together and purred lowly. "Your fur is soft," he remarked, nuzzling slightly. "I like that."

Mouth hanging slightly open, Ratchet didn't know what to say. His eyes softened at the touches although it only stirred the confusion even more.
"Um, thank you?"

The elder chuckled. "You're welcome." Lifting the other's chin a bit, he briefly placed their lips together before he drew back and took the dishes to clean. The grin on Azimuth's face gave the impression of satisfaction.

The young Lombax blinked when the other withdrew and followed the elder with his gaze. Ratchet touched his lips with his fingertips – they weren't tingling but of a soft warmth.

"We can take our time today," Azimuth told him from the kitchen, "it seems the Shapeshifters have gone off the grid and no longer follow patterns, meaning Nefarious will spend most of the time recalculating their positions."

He didn't see the far-away smile before Ratchet returned to the present, nodding. "A bit more of down-time sounds good. Did he say something else about them what we need to know?"

"Yes," Alister replied, "He said we should prepare for fighting the Jealous. It might be harder than the last time, and he wants us to take them out before they can do the same thing as the Prideful with the Wrathful."

"Oh fuck it." Ratchet pressed his face against his palms, leaning heavily on the kitchen table. "If that happens, we're done for. We'd need to nuke them to get rid of them."

"Mhm." Azimuth came out of the kitchen and shook his hands slightly as he walked over to Ratchet. "But we have to provoke them first before we have a chance. As far as Nefarious knows, they have a really strong shield around them." A pause. "Even though it isn't really a shield, but… like thick skin you could say. We have to make them lose their cool first." His gaze fell on Ratchet, eyebrow raised as he thought about something.

"We're just getting mixed news these days, aren't we. We know a detail, their shield, which helps us to develop a strategy – the good news. The bad news – we need to get through their shields."

"Indeed. But I have a fair idea how to approach it." A sly smirk stole itself on the elder's lips. "As for now…" Something tugged at Ratchet's tail just as Azimuth signaled him to come closer with a wink of his finger.

At first Ratchet stayed still. It took another tug on his tail to get him to stand up. He readily went into Alister's embrace, however, as he opened his arms.

A low purr escaped the elder before he let go of Ratchet. "I think we're set for the next fight," he remarked, gently nudging his head against the other's before slipping away.

Ratchet suppressed a disappointed sigh with a question. "Same room still for the meetings?"

"No, the meeting was yesterday evening." Azimuth stretched his arms. "I was briefed by Nefarious regarding today's plans. Or perhaps tomorrow's. It really depends on when he can get ahold of their track devices again." A pause. "It is really odd, you see. He knows their location, or rather, should know since they live in a part of the facility, but apparently he either ignores that or finds it too dangerous to infiltrate it."

"I guess it's the latter, seeing what problems we had from the first fight on. But I still don't get if we should go now, you said we were ready."

"Well, I think we're more than able to make them drop their shields now." He walked over to the desk and leant against it. "We just have to make them jealous enough to do so." A moment of silence as he tapped his chin. "And while we don't have to get ready at this instant, probably not even today, it's very reassuring to know that I can do my part without losing my cool." He sighed. "I still can't believe that Nefarious proposed this."

"'Doing your part without losing- " Ratchet sputtered, not believing what he heard. "I knew you acted forward but, but you did this because Nefarious suggested it? For the Jealous?"

At this the elder looked away, scratching his cheek lightly. "… Yes. I mean, it would be problematic if we ended up in a peril yet again only because of something marginal like this – and that robot knows the Shapeshifters better than us, so I will make an exception to trust his word."

"But I'm not ready yet."

Alister snapped his head up. "I'm sorry?" He saw Ratchet tap a finger against his lips, eyes slightly turned upwards as he contemplated something.

Or did he? Alister began to doubt it as he stalked to the elder, canting a hip and pressing a hand on it. He grinned.

"I haven't had enough practice myself. And I need your help to remedy this."

Ears folded back at that mischievous grin. Stepping backwards, he tried to round around Ratchet. "Oh, but I think you are just fine. We're fine-" A stifled yelp as Azimuth stumbled over the bed and fell onto it. Quickly he crawled backwards, not letting Ratchet out of his sight. "—perfectly fine, really…"

"Ah ah ah, do I hear nervousness? From you, considering you might need a repeat performance, too, Azimuth?" He all but purred the name.

"A-Ah…" The elder kept moving backwards, head burning up. He had not intended that at all. "I don't think that it would be necessary, really—AH!" Unaware that he had reached the end of the bed, his hand grasped but air. He fell halfway on the ground, quickly getting up before Ratchet could snatch him.

Too bad he ran right into the couch.

An undignified yelp escaped him as a warm weight pounced at him, making him crash into the cushions.

Muffled, Alister could but flail under Ratchet. When he finally freed his face, he tried to turn around. "Ratchet! Get off me, that isn't funny-"

The hiss came unexpected. "It was just as NOT funny when you told me you only kissed me because you wanted to 'train' in order to rile the Jealous up."

Azimuth's eyes widened, his ears twitched nervously. "I'm sorry, okay? I really am. I won't do it again, now get off me, Ratchet, please-"

Lips crashed on his and silenced him. Five pricks of pain burst on his shoulders either side as the younger dug his fingers in, growling with frustration.

Muffled sounds of protest left the elder before he was granted a moment to breathe in. "Look, Ratchet, I'm really sorry I did this, but-" Again he was cut off as Ratchet rammed their lips together once more, pulling him into a rough kiss, and again he tried to object, but he could not with the younger preventing him from doing so the whole time.

"Shut up." The whisper was growled into his ear, rough like warm sand.

At this Azimuth tensed up. Something in his mind changed, shutting off all embarrassment and hesitation and replacing it with a sense of… mild anger. "Do you want another rehearsal that badly?", he hissed before he grabbed Ratchet, lifted him up and threw him onto the bed. Getting up, he walked over to the other, still huffing slightly from the kiss. His eyes gleamed dangerously like a predator locking onto his prey when he crawled onto the bed and pinned Ratchet down.

"Then you'll get it."

Their lips were brought together again. Teeth grazed roughly over the younger's lip before the discomfort was mended by a softer kiss in between.

Ratchet cried into the kiss, twisting his hands in the grip Alister had on them, arching up. The sensations from his lips had him rocking and bucking, fighting to get free. He curled his legs around the elder's hips, trying to urge him on.

Gasping for air, Azimuth briefly broke the kiss only to seal the other's lips just as fast once more. Freeing one hand, he snuck it beneath Ratchet's shirt, fingers curling as he dragged them down his back.

Ratchet's gasps turned to huffs, writhing at the touches to his back. Frustration came over him that even with one hand Alister easily held his wrists captive.

A smirk revealed that the elder was more than satisfied with Ratchet's reaction, but still deemed it possible to ask for more. The hand on the younger's back trailed along the sides before lining the faint contours of his hip bone. Pushing the shirt up, he let his fingers teasingly slide down over the exposed chest.

"Damn it Alister, lemme go!" He gasped the next moment as one finger pressed harder down on its way up his chest now, circling his pectoral muscles.

"And for what reason, if I may ask?" Azimuth chuckled as he kissed the other's torso. "I think you're just fine like that."

Any coherent answer was lost in another kiss that Alister bestowed upon him. Relentless in his attack, he tasted and roamed every spot he knew by now to be sensitive.

"I… thought you wanted to say something, Ratchet?", was then whispered into the younger's ear. Smirking, Azimuth licked over the base before the other could even say a thing. "Come on now… We don't want you to forget your part no matter what, now do we?"

It was debatable if he was disappointed when Ratchet's eyes glazed over under his further ministrations. He stopped struggling, only turning his body from side to side – not to escape but as some outlet for the reactions that numbed coherent thoughts.

Suddenly the sensations stopped. Azimuth let go of Ratchet's arms and pushed himself up, looking into green eyes. "I think that is enough," he said before pulling the other's shirt down again. Cupping Ratchet's cheek for a moment, he placed another kiss on the other's lips. "I'm sorry for what I did today," he whispered. "I will not do this again." And with that he slipped away, falling beside Ratchet and turning his head to the elder. "Perhaps I really got too carried away with it."

Ratchet just gazed at him, blinking, eyes still slightly glazed.

A sigh. "I guess I owe you an explanation?" He let his head touch the other's and closed his eyes. "Remember when we first came to this room and talked? I told you I couldn't get over who I was, what my values are. My principles were, and still are, too strong in my mind to do something like this without any… reason." A pause. "I guess I simply was so glad that I got a reason to act like this, to pretend it was all 'business' that I didn't consider your side of it and upset you." He opened his eyes and looked into emerald ones. "I'm sorry."

"So… you meant it before? You didn't just do it, because…" Ratchet had troubles gathering his thoughts together enough to form sentences. He scooted closer to the elder on instinct, the other's warmth seeped into him and he relaxed automatically.

"I am not this low, Ratchet," he remarked in a playfully scolding tone, "It's just… I can't get around my values. I simply can't." The hand on the other's cheek curled slightly. "It's so frustrating it's almost depressing, you know."

A frown appeared over his eyes. "You keep saying that I don't show enough what I think or feel. The truth is… I want to even though I don't." His eyes opened under a pained expression. "I want to be more loosened up, and I want to just do all those things, but… my values trouble me. The idea of you and me in such a relationship, the circumstances around it, my background, my connection to you before I had even met you – I cannot simply leave them behind even though I want to." He pressed his lips together. "I… want to despite all the odds and conflicts I see with it."

"Whoa, that really sounds like a mess of different thoughts and emotions." Ratchet frowned. Did Alister think that because he was so old and had established a set system or morals and principles for himself? Or were Lombaxes really that firm on having relationships?

He reached out for Azimuth's cheek to stroke it idly, and to his surprise the other did not mind. This made Ratchet wonder even further; to what extent and why did Alister deem his interest in him as 'inappropriate'?

The elder's ear flicked at the touch. Hesitantly he snuck an arm beneath the younger and pulled him into an embrace. Burying his face half in the blanket, he nuzzled into Ratchet's neck only to hide a deep frown.

"We've talked a bit about relationships among Lombaxes, but not everything." He moved his strokes to the neck, brushing his fingertips over the skin.

"Are same-sex relationships frowned upon?" Well, the direct way seemed the best way in the moment.

The elder jerked at the question. His fingers curled as he tensed up, silence holding him captive until he finally spoke. "Yes," he whispered, "Especially in the military." A pause. "And especially when in the higher positions. Nobody there would ever, ever dare suggesting such a thing."
He frowned. "Not that it was a set rule. But… nobody spoke about it. I guess it was a no seeing, no hearing, no speaking issue – and a never occurring one either." A chuckle escaped him. "Heck, I thought that I was… interested in women too until we arrived here." Circling his fingers on Ratchet's back, he looked away. "I feel confused now, to be honest."

"You could still be, you know. Did you ever go out with a girl or woman?"

"A few times, yes." Azimuth sighed lowly. "Then again, I was more interested in my work and duty as that I could have focused on relationships so much. I mean… I couldn't let my people down, now could I?" He chuckled bitterly. "Too bad that my efforts did exactly the opposite."

Ratchet didn't try to think of a dissuading answer for Alister's self-depreciation. This issue was bigger than he could him on his own with – and, second, wouldn't he be the biggest hypocrite when doing so after what he had thrown at him during their last fight? He hadn't even apologized yet.

Fingers kept circling on the younger's back. "I… know for a fact you are interested in the opposite gender. Can I be so arrogant to assume you were until the last few days as well?" He bit his lip. And if so, why me?

"Well, I had crushes." He shrugged. "But the only girl I went out with was Sasha and after that nothing ever happened again. So I'm not sure if I'm still interested.

"Why you? I won't take any guesses why it exactly sparked for me 'cause I think nobody knows what makes one fall in love with another person. Maybe some part is because you are the only Lombax I know is a Lombax and so it's the first time for me to meet someone from 'home'.

"More importantly, though – I like you for your dedication. For you being there for me. You're an awesome fighter, you're intelligent, you have good looks- I don't know anymore if I ever checked out a guy before, so I can't tell you if I did." He grinned.

"… Heh. I don't know if I should be flattered, confused, or mildly offended now." A mischievous grin appeared on Azimuth's lips. "Seems like a case of lack of options, huh?" A chuckle before he nuzzled into Ratchet's neck and purred lowly. "Of which being there for you results, as does your mildly clouded judgment about my looks," he jested. Then he paused, a frown appearing over his eyes.
"And you… mentioned that you like me for my dedication." His fingers curled when he tensed up slightly. His ears flicked as he inhaled slowly. "Even if it is misplaced at times?" And even if it gives you a reason to regard me just like the other Lombaxes do?

"Never said affection and love made sense. Take it as a compliment." A shrug. The last question sobered him instantly, however. What do I say to this?

"Affection and love, hm?" That put a smile on the elder's face. "You should really be careful with what you say, or someone might misunderstand and be flustered forever."

"Mmh, if you were flustered, you wouldn't have misunderstood at all." Ratchet nuzzled under his chin.

"Isn't it too soon to say something like this?" A low purr as Alister let him sneak there. "After all, it still has been only a few days. It might just be a form of infatuation."

"We will only know by going on this way." Ratchet wrapped his arms around Alister's torso, sighing as his warmth slowly seeped into him.

"Should we?" The elder looked into space with heavy-lidded eyes. "It's still… controversial. Both for me and you. What would the people think?"

"No idea. Honestly, I couldn't care less what they think of me; I'm worried about you. But," he scooted a bit to look Alister in the eyes, "That's still in the future. We don't know how long it will take until we find the Great Clock. We have time to work it out between us, see where it goes." A pause.

"Though I hope it stays."

At this Azimuth blinked. Then a soft smile settled on his lips before his kissed Ratchet on his forehead. "We will see. By the time we reach the Great Clock, we will see." Hidden from the other's gaze, a frown appeared over the elder's eyes. And when that time comes, it will be over soon too. Immunity to time travel effects, he suspected, would only prevail for the initiator if at all. Perhaps even only temporarily, making all the things they would go through but an incorrect past future. And if only one could remember…

He tensed up. It would be painful. Would he want either of them to go through this?

"Alister?" The younger massaged the tense back muscles, nuzzling against the collar bone to try get him to relax.

As if awakening from trance the elder blinked in confusion before he realized that he had lost himself in his thoughts. Placing one hand on the back of Ratchet's head and nuzzled slightly. "Nothing. Just thoughts."

Ratchet hummed in return, not stopping in his massage, alternating between kneading and rubbing the shoulder blades, then moving up the sides of the neck.

Purrs escaped the elder. Closing his eyes, he took in the sensation and relaxed completely. "I wish we could stay like that," he mumbled as he pressed the younger against his body. "Without any worries, problems… a piece of quiet." If only it was possible.

"We're going to make of the quiet that we have now. As much as we can." A kiss to his jawline.

"Mhm…" White ears flicked as a smile appeared on the elder's face. "And if we're lucky, we will have a day off today too." Fingers trailed along Ratchet's neck, stroking idly over the fur before gliding over the fabric and circling idly on his back.

"You know, maybe we can take turns in massaging each other. Wouldn't that be nice?" Ratchet carefully pressed along Alister's spine, feeling the other tense in pain.

"Only if you don't go below the waistband," was the playful reply, "Then I might consider." He chuckled lowly before he kissed Ratchet on his nose.

"Understood, your ass is off-limits for my hands. Spoil-sport." His grin spoke otherwise as he began kneading down the muscles further away from Alister's spine on height of his chest.

"All right. I take your words for that, but better not take my trust for granted." Azimuth smirked and scooted away from Ratchet only to roll onto his stomach, tail swinging in anticipation. "And after that it will be my turn."

"Yeah yeah yeah." He straddled his thighs, stretching his back and popping his shoulders. As nice it had been just a moment before lying like that with Alister, massaging him in that position hadn't been comfortable.

The elder looked at him with an amused grin. "Perhaps I should begin? It seems like you have a few kinks to get out of your system."

Ratchet didn't know what it was about the last sentence – the wording? The teasing with which it was expressed? Alister's expression? Or maybe a combination of all – the effect was that he broke out in laughter all the same, shaking on his unstable seat.

"The way you word it, you sound like an advertisement announcer for a holo-spa for robots. I once had to save Clank from a pushy worker from such a spa who wanted to give him a 'complete overhaul not even your creator would recognize you anymore'."

"Why, thank you," the elder replied under reproachful glare. "There I am, trying to be considerate, and all I get is such an association. That evokes quite the…" He suddenly turned over, causing Ratchet to fall to the side.

"… mischievous intentions." And before long, he started tickling the younger all over.

"Oh no, you won't get me so easily again." Under the laughter Ratchet ran his hands every possibly ticklish place Alister might have, neck, chest, outer thighs, the back of the knees, his back…

"Never compare me to an advertiser ever again, all right-" A loud yelp left Azimuth when Ratchet tickled him at the base of his tail. He jolted up and to the side, making sure that his back was no longer in tickle range. The red hue under his fur was only marginally visible.

"That settled," Ratchet laid down, swishing his tail, grinning over his shoulder, "I'd like to take you on your offer for my own massage. If you want, then I'll continue with yours later."

He snickered internally at Alister's nonplussed face for the non-sequitur.

"No, no, no…" Azimuth shook his head wildly, a nervous grin on his lips. "Perhaps later on. I just remembered, I know where Lawrence stays until he is fully functional again, so wouldn't that be a good moment to go and check on him? Yes? Good." He quickly got off the bed and made sure Ratchet did not sneak up to him from behind or anything.

"Hey, my massage!"