Disclaimer: RWBY is owned by Rooster Teeth and Monty Oum, not me. This is merely a fanwork meant for entertainment purposes only. Cover image courtesy of Jan Chrt (jeni-cek on deviantART). All rights reserved.

It was quite a sobering experience, really. Beacon Academy, this mighty school, this proof to the world of the hunters' strength…destroyed in an instant. All that remained was rock, ash and, as Jaune was lead through Beacon's corpse, the people, now residing in thick, green tents that seemed almost miserable in their number.

"Did…did they all make it out?" Jaune asked, all too fearful for the reply.

"It's not as bad as it looks, thankfully." Pyrrha replied, brushing a particularly sharp bit of debris from the path, "Most of the students were on holiday at the time, so there was only a handful of people to evacuate when I came to warn about the bomb."

"Bomb? That'd explain the mess. Was anywhere else hit?"

"We haven't heard any more blasts, but it's difficult to tell outside of that. Ever since Beacon was destroyed, someone's been jamming our communications."

"Do you think it could be the White Fang?"

"Could be…" Pyrrha said dubiously, "I have my doubts, though. After all, if the White Fang had a bomb capable of levelling an entire academy in moments, why use it on Beacon? Why not some kind of Schnee Corp or police building? It just doesn't add up."

"Sounds like you've thought about it a lot."

Pyrrha smiled sadly.

"When you're alone and combing through the wreckage of your school, it can be a little hard to stop thinking."

Finally, after somehow managing to dodge the debris and keep his bare feet intact, Jaune made it to what was likely some kind of hub tent, judging by the larger size and general murmur of discussion echoing from within. With Pyrrha giving him the signal to 'stop', Jaune obediently stayed put as she walked casually up to the tent flap, tugging it in a rhythm that was likely some kind of call back to secret knocks. It wasn't long afterwards that something heavy and metallic was pushed to one side and, with a small squeak of surprise, Ruby Rose peaked her head out into the open air.

"Wow Pyrrha, you're back already? You work fast! Did you have any luck with-"

"Negative, I'm afraid." Pyrrha cut in, "But I did find something else…or someone, actually. Jaune, if you would…?"

Ruby gasped audibly as Jaune made his way to Pyrrha's side, jumping all the way out of the tent flap and rather feverishly looking him up and down.

"Holy nuggets, you're alive!" Ruby announced finally, "We thought you'd, uh…you know…"

"You can thank Pyrrha for that. If it weren't for her, I think I'd have been stuck under that rubble for ages."

"In that case, thanks Pyrrha! Maybe now Weiss'll stop being all grumpy-grump and 'oh it's all my fault' and stuff."

"I certainly hope so, Ruby. Now, perhaps we should make our way in? I have a feeling everyone will be eager to hear the news."

"Mmhm! Oh, I'll just pop in real quick and let them know you're coming, okay? Otherwise there might be too much 'Oh it's Jaune' and not enough 'Okay so let's actually decide on something for once', you know?"

As Ruby slipped back in to the tent, Pyrrha gave Jaune a wan smile.

"I just wanted to say…"

"Hm?"

"It's good to have you back, Jaune. JNPR just hasn't been the same without you."

"I'm just glad it was me and not someone more important who went missing. I mean, what would you guys do if it was Ozpin under that rubble? There'd be no one around to drink all of the coffee!"

Pyrrha giggled softly and, without warning, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"But if I'd never found you, I'd have no one to do that to, hm?" Pyrrha said cheekily, grabbing Jaune's hand and pulling him into the tent.

"-and I'm telling you that rock most definitely beats scissors!" Glynda exclaimed in annoyance.

"But what if they were dust scissors? Those would cut through rock with ease! And besides, how on Remnant does a mere sheet of paper beat rock?" Port asked.

"Maybe it was dust paper." she retorted.

"I can't help but feel like that comment was sarcastic in some way."

"And I can't help but feel like you're a moron, but I suppose we all have to cut our losses at some point."

"Well there's no need to be like- ah, here they are. Ho there, Miss Nikos! I hear you've brought back a fine trophy from your hunt. Did you slap him around a bit, or has he gone cherry red for a different reason?"

"Just ignore him." Glynda recommended wearily, "He's been absolutely insufferable ever since he realised his silly Grimm teddy bear likely went down with the school."

"It was a taxonomic masterwork, not a teddy bear!"

"Whatever makes you feel better, Port." Glynda snarked, taking a deep swig from what looked to be something alcoholic, "The others are just a bit further ahead, by the way. Look for the one foot tall debris table. You can't miss it."

Like many of the rooms at Beacon, the tent seemed to be a lot bigger on the inside than it had any right to be, with a cornucopia of teams seated at their own separate tables, all deep in discussion. However, as Pyrrha made her way through the 'hallway' cut between the tables, quite a few of them turned their attention to the new arrivals, with many reacting with great surprise that she had brought not an item, but a person back.

Meanwhile, at the end of the hall, team RWBY and Professor Ozpin were currently occupying the particularly low table Glynda had described, the latter looking rather morosely into an empty mug. The others Jaune would likely to describe as 'bored', with the possible exception of Weiss, who was wearing a beautiful smile, and Ruby, who simply looked hungry. Nevertheless, as Pyrrha and Jaune made their approach, everyone seemed to perk up slightly.

"Heyyy, there he is!" Yang called out, "What's up, Ladykiller? Last I heard you were six feet under, but I guess you must have turned your wily charms to Death herself, eh?"

"Don't mind her." Blake chipped in, "She's been like this ever since Professor Port's stuffed Grimm went down with the school."

"But it was so awesome! Right, Rubes?"

Ruby nodded, her mouth currently full of strawberries.

"See? You're in the minority here, not me! Yang 2, Blake 0."

"Ahem." Weiss cut in, putting out a beckoning hand, "Jaune, could you come over here for a moment, please?"

Still in his hospital pyjamas, Jaune made his way to Weiss at the centre of the table.

"And could you bend down a little?"

Again, Jaune did as he was told.

SLAP.

"Ow! What-"

"If you even think about pulling that self-sacrificing idiocy again, believe me, there will be a lot more than a simple slap waiting for you. It's not smart, it's not heroic, and worst of all, it's not considerate! Do I make myself clear?"

"Um, is this really-"

"Stay out of this, Pyrrha! He knows what he did, and he's getting off lightly with a slap and a stern talking-to."

Jaune sighed.

"I'm sorry, Weiss. Guess I didn't really think it through."

"You most certainly did not, but that's a discussion for another time."

Then, with a flip of an invisible switch, Weiss' scowl returned to the lovely smile she had worn earlier.

"In any case, I'm glad you're in one piece, Jaune, as much as it might not sound like it right now. For a while, it seemed as if you were one of our only casualties, a most unfortunate fact considering our recent retrieval of Crocea Mors."

"It was lost?"

"Ever since the explosion at the Red Hunters' Guild, yes. As it turned out, Pyrrha managed to find it while combing through the Beacon ruins for…well. Not that, certainly."

"It sounds like I've been out a while."

"Not all that long, actually, but events have certainly moved quickly."

"Like the event that I apparently died in?"

Weiss and Pyrrha shared a look.

"You don't know what happened, do you?" Weiss asked.

"I know there was a bomb, but not much more than that, no."

"You're missing out on a lot, then. Pyrrha, if you would?"

Pyrrha cleared her throat.

"Well…while everyone else was trying to get you out of that sword, I was investigating the whereabouts of Crocea Mors. I thought I'd hit a bit of a dead end when the Red Hunters building turned up nothing, but just as I was about to give up and head back, I was sent this strange message on my scroll."

"Who was it from?"

"It didn't say, but I don't think it was anyone from Beacon. The message basically warned that a bomb was set to detonate under Beacon within the hour, and if I didn't get back and evacuate the building, a lot of innocent people would die. I would have tried contacting someone back at Beacon beforehand, but that was around the time the scrolls started going haywire, so all I could really do was catch a lift with a passing fan and run back to warn everyone."

"You must have made it back in time, then."

"Thankfully, yes. Within a few minutes, we'd managed to get most of the building evacuated, but you…you were projecting your shield, even in unconsciousness. I would've tried to move you some other way, but…well, someone pulled me away as the countdown got close."

"Then the bomb went off?"

"Then the bomb went off." Pyrrha confirmed, "And after seeing what it had done to Beacon, it seemed a little foolish to hope you'd survived. I've never been happier to be wrong."

BEEP BOOP BEEP. In perfect unison, everyone in the tent went to check their scrolls, each with a very confused expression. Weren't they supposed to be broken?

However, leaning over to peek at Weiss', Jaune found that the video function was certainly working, at least, as now Igneus Stormcrow, leader of the Red Hunters, was peering out at him, a horrible burn coursing down his face.

"Why hello there, people of Beacon! How has your remodelling been going? I hear you've run into quite the explosive snag with it, isn't that right? Muhahahaha!"

"Why that little-" Weiss began, cutting herself off.

"In any case, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm calling you all, so let me tell you a little secret; the bomb I put under Beacon was only the first surprise! In exactly one hour from this message's broadcast, the entire city will be engulfed in flame as the police station, the docks, the guilds and the arena crumble under my might!"

He smiled smugly.

"That is, unless you were planning to do something about it…no, no, that would be a death sentence. Only bold, heroic individuals would even dare attempt it…but where on Remnant would you find people like that in this day and age?"

With that, the broadcast went dead, and the tent was thrown into chaos.

Heya all! After a few mini-hiatuses, None Of Your Business is back on the track to completion! Now coming out every Tuesday, you can likely expect the story to be completed in three or four chapters, I reckon. It's been a bumpier road than In A Grimm Manor's, I must admit, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up. For myself, for Monty, and most of all, for you, the readers, I will push this work to its end.

See you next week, folks! Soul out!