Late I know, I'm in the middle of moving into my apartment.

I do not own any Twilight characters

Chapter 13

Honestly when I arrived back at the Cullen's I was no longer in the mood to discuss anything. I brought a war upon an innocent family that has done nothing but try to protect me. Now I'm bringing death and pain to their doorstep.

Of course when I walked through the door everyone was waiting though. Esme and Carlisle looked the most concern, knowing what would be happening when the snow sticks. Some of the others looked like they were ready for a fight while others looked like they wanted to run. Nessie being one of them.

She was planning for one of the biggest events in her life, nothing should be stopping this excitement for her. But I was. Instead of her focusing on girly dresses and flowers and arrangements she was now focusing on me and the war. I just walked past everyone, including Embry, and headed upstairs to the room I slept in. I curled up in bed still wearing my wet clothes from the show down in the rain and tried to keep myself from crying.

I felt sick to my stomach, like I just wanted to throw up all my sins and become normal again, become the girl I once thought I was. To throw up for all the people I had killed on accident and purpose. To throw up all the words I never got to say to my mother or grandmother before their awful deaths. To throw up all my lies I've told my friends over the past few years to cover up myself. To throw up all the feelings I've ever had for Embry.

Except that last thought didn't feel right. That last thought just made things worse in my head. I didn't want to say sorry for the things I felt for Embry. I just wanted to embrace those feelings. I just wanted him to feel the same. I just wanted to be normal forever with him. Forever was such a long time but it's all I have. I stopped aging this year, 21 was the number where I was done. I was forever frozen in the state I was in.

I would always have long black curly hair. I would always have sparkling blue and gray eyes with red wine lips. I would always be a stick but with curves that made me look my age. I would forever have the scars on my body from falling off bikes to running into corners of tables one too many times.

I curled up tighter into myself in my bed and shut my eyes praying for sleep. Instead, there was a knock on the door. I groaned softly and whispered come in. Whoever it was I knew they would hear me no matter the volume of my voice. I saw some light being shown into the room and heavy steps coming over, I knew it was him before he even made it over to me. His smell was different from the others, it was musky and woodsy but it also had the salt water mingled in it. All together beautiful like him.

"Ash," he whispered as he kneeled down in front of my face. His eyes held nothing but love and compassion as he stared at me looking pathetic. I sniffled once more and tried to wipe away all the tears and excess make-up, he didn't need to see me like this. I had to be a warrior in this group, I had to at least get by in the war to make sure everyone would be okay.

"You're soaked to the bone and shaking," he stated as he slowly moved to sit beside me and wrap his arms around me. I felt warm almost instantly but felt disgusting in these clothes. I pulled away and flicked on the lamp on the table beside us.

"I have to change," I whispered without looking at him but that doesn't mean I couldn't feel his eyes boring into me. I went over to the dresser and brushed my tangled hair quickly before throwing it up in my classic bun. I pulled out a pair of black sweats and my gray sweater I brought with me the first day I arrived at the Cullens. When I no longer felt his eyes on me I stripped quickly and dressed faster, once I was in comfy dry clothes I cleared my throat so he knew it was okay.

"You know everyone is going to be fine," he told me in a matter-of-fact voice. I looked over to him standing at the glass wall peering at the moon. I sighed and shook my head a bit before going to stand next to him.

"I'm more worried about how I brought this whole thing here. I should have just went, made things easier. I wouldn't have given in anyways so they woulda just ended it after a week or two," I shrugged knowing Aro and them would not want to put with my disrespectfulness that long.

"No! If you would have given yourself up myself and everyone else would have come for you," he all but shouted at me with a crazy look in his eye. He looked like he was more scared then I was when it came to losing me to the royals.

"Embry if it is going to happen then it will. Point blank," I shouted back before turning to walk to the closet to pull out new blankets for the bed since the others were soaked. But I didn't make it even two steps away from him before he grabbed my hand and pulled me back.

We were chest to chest. Hip to hip. Nose to nose.

Him leaning over me like this made the butterflies in my stomach start up. I looked into his dark chocolate eyes and just wanted to melt. No man I have ever met made me feel this way. Made me feel normal and wanted and loved. We didn't say a word for a few moments. Just us breathing each other scents in and ignoring the outside world around us.

"I will protect you Ash. No one will ever take you away from me come Heaven or Hell," Embry lingered on the last word before he closed the gap between us and kissed me. Actually kissed me with no interruptions. No howling or vampires bothering us.

First soft and sweet then rough and desperate. His hands just pulled me closer by the waist while mine were pulling his hair and playing with his curls. I have never been touched like this. I have never felt like I needed to explode from just a kiss. After what seemed like an eternity we pulled away gasping for air.

And when I looked up at him when our hearts became normal again I felt like he meant what he said. That this war was nothing to be scared of. That we would all be fine and live happily ever after.