Authors Note: In case it's not previously mentioned… there will be course language. Let's not waste time my ducklings.
I can't stop this anger.
"What the fuck do you mean she already knows." I don't care if he drops me. My knee connects with his abdomen. "You told her. What gives you the right to tell her. It's not your place." He doesn't let me go.
"I didn't tell her. And neither did the others. She found out on her own."
"How long has she known?" I can't breathe. I feel like I'm drowning. I can't breathe.
"Since the dark tournament." That was years ago. "Yukina and I get along because we have one key thing that we share. We both care about you. Yukina told me that she suspects you to be her brother, and when looking at the facts, it's pretty obvious that you are. She's tried to give you numerous chances, but she knew that you weren't ready for her to know."
"She can't know." When did my face get wet. "She can't know."
"Hiei, I don't see the problem. She knows, but she still cares about you. That's why I wanted to tell you." His hand is in my hair. It's soothing, but I can't calm down. "It's okay Hiei." When did he pull me this close. When did I lay my head on his shoulder. When did I stop fighting him. "I know this is scary for you. Your so use to just chasing people away by acting like you don't care about them. But for the people that see through those lies, we care about you. Yukina understand why you haven't told her. And I understand why you keep running."
I'm too tired to fight. "Kuwabara, I don't know how to face her."
"You don't have to face her yet. She doesn't know that I told you. You can hide it for as long as you want. You can tell her that you couldn't find her brother and she won't press the issue."
"That's why you offered to give me your excess energy, because you didn't want me to back out."
"Maybe I just wanted you to be forced to spend time with me. Maybe it was purely selfish reasons."
"Do you really think that I'm good enough to be part of her family" Soft lips are pressed against the top of my head.
"Of course Hiei. She loves you. We both do." His body is warm. I like it. I don't feel like fighting.
"Kuwabara."
"Yes shorty?"
"Can I stay with you."
"That's fine with me, but shouldn't you get back to running."
"No. I'm done running." He kisses me again. When did we get out of the water. He sets me down on the ground and redresses himself. I'm so tired. But I just slept. He picks me up again, and I let him. At some point on the way back to his house I fall asleep. I don't think I've ever felt so relaxed in my entire life.
How long have I been asleep. I'm in a bed. I've never slept in a bed in my life. The only opportunity I've ever had was during the dark tournament, and at that point I felt more comfortable in trees. But this bed is different from those fluffy well-kept beds. This is most defiantly Kuwabara's bed. It has his smell. That entirely masculine scent. I like it. The scent is coming from more than the bed. The clothes I am wearing are not mine. They are baggy and threaten to fall off at any movement.
"You look like a little kid wearing my clothes." Bastard.
"Why exactly and I not wearing my own clothes."
"They were wet, I didn't want you to get sick."
"So you stripped me without my permission." It doesn't completely bother me.
"You were to cute to wake up. Now eat." He shoves food at me. It's some weird goop. It reminds me of the mushed innards of demons.
"So no oatmeal then, well there are a thousand other foods that we can go through until I'v figured out what you'll eat. I lift the spoon experimentally and watch as the goop plops back with the rest of its kind. Most unappetizing. But I have ate far worse. I don't eat much, but it's enough to put some food in my stomach. "I bet you'd like sweets." I haven't done much eating for pleasure. Merely necessity. He's smiling at me. "My pjs really do look cute on you." The sleeves go way past my hands, he rolled the pants legs up, but I know that if I tried to walk in them, I'd probably trip. I don't mind. As I already told him, I'm tired of running, and it's obvious that he would continue to chase me.
"You will not tell her." It's a statement. I know he wont, but I still have to put it in words.
"I will not tell her that you know that she knows. But, just like with me. She will not just forget, eventually you will have to come to terms with that." He laughs for a moment. And shakes his head. "It's funny. You've faced countless large monsters, and you show no fear, but the thing you do fear is a small girl."
"Do not mock me."
"Calm down small fry. It's not meant as an insult. I mean, she must mean the world to you."
"All the words and combined." The words come out easy. They aren't lies. Just words I've refused to admit to. "She represents what was taken from me. A place to belong. If she does not accept me, then I will truly be alone." He sits next to me. The bowl is moved to the side. His hand on my back pushes me where my head is laying in his lap. It's comfortable.
"She knows about you, and still she's trying to 'find' her brother. I do not think that means she will shun you. But let's say she does. You still wouldn't be alone. Kurama, Yusuke, me. We will always have your back. It's not your style to ask for help, but if you did- or ever do- you can bet not just one of us, but all of us will come to your aid." My chest aches. His hand is stroking my hair. Is this what it feels like to be comforted. I like it.
"You care about Yukina as well." He nods to himself.
"She was sort of like my first love. We weren't on the best of terms at that time, because I was sure you hated me. I thought you were cold and cruel, but as time passed, I learned your most well kept secret."
"What secret is that?"
"That you are," He pauses. But I don't mind. I enjoy just listening to him talk. "warm. Hiei, seriously. You are really warm." His voice shows concern. But I'm to calmed to care. "are you sick." He's feeling my forhead through the cloth that covers my Jagon. It makes a whimper leave my thought. Even covered. That is such a vital point. "And your cheeks are flushed." I push myself off of him. I really don't feel well. I stand up and dizziness overtakes me.
"Hiei, maybe you should lie back down." My hand flies to my mouth. Shit. This isn't going to be pretty.
"Bathroom." The words are barely out of my mouth before I hear my faraway voice. "I'm going to be sick." Then I lose the contents of my stomach all over my borrowed clothes.