Chapter 7
"President Grant has a new friend. For the first time in history, a sitting President and confirmed bachelor, is dating."
Olivia rolled her eyes at the newscaster's apparent glee over the announcement.
"The President has been spending time with former attorney and law professor Madeline Anderson. Ms. Anderson, who met the President over a casual game of pool last month, has been seen visiting him at the White House, and the President even attended a lecture given by Ms. Anderson and several of her colleagues in California last weekend. Rumor has it that Ms. Anderson and the President will make their official debut at a special ball honoring veterans tonight at the Fairmont Hotel. Ms. Anderson's only son a 23 year old Navy Seal was killed in the line of duty two years ago. Though the White House has not yet released an official statement, insiders say that the sweet romance began slowly, just a short time after the President shocked the world announcing his divorce. The former First Lady, Mellie Grant, has not commented publicly on the dating rumors, but is instead choosing to focus on lending her support to an upcoming governor's race in her home state of North Carolina, and helping her daughter Karen Grant, tour potential colleges."
Olivia turned the television off and tried to concentrate on the case in front of her. Some millionaire trying to cover up insider trading and keep the press focused on their good deeds as a benefactor to troubled inner-city youth. It wasn't her best work, but it would do. Quinn could handle it, all Olivia would have to do is make one appearance at a press conference in two hours and then she was done for the week. No other cases lined up so far, and no meetings. All she had to look forward to was tonight's ball, and now that she knew Fitz was bringing a date she dreaded that too.
She glanced at the dress which hung on the back of her closed office door. She had planned to leave from there for the ball since it was closer than her apartment, but now she reconsidered. That dress wasn't going to be enough to upstage Maddie Anderson. Mature, refined, and still sexy, she wouldn't admit it publicly, but Olivia admired the woman's fashion sense. Every time Olivia saw her, Maddie looked perfect. First Lady perfect.
Olivia stood up and began walking in circles around the room. She mentally searched through her closet evaluating dresses and wondering when she'd become this woman. In the past she'd have been confident that she could command Fitz's attention in a potato sack. But now he was different, he had let her go, he was divorced, and he was dating. The thought made her stomach turn.
Instead of examining why she felt the way she felt, Olivia pushed all thought out of her head and decided to go home for a different dress—one that she felt sure would capture Fitz's attention. She didn't speak to anyone as she gathered her purse and stalked out of the office. She smirked as she thought of how the gown would fit her, its low back and thin straps which meant that Fitz would have to touch her bare skin. It thrilled her to know that he would because it had been so long, after all how could he ignore a public invitation from her for a dance? It would especially please her to cut in while he was dancing with Maddie.
Olivia's thoughts were interrupted by a text message from Quinn, alerting her to the fact that their client was having a panic attack and thinking about cancelling the press conference. She sighed and let the elevators which had just opened on the lobby close again. She went back upstairs, her mind returned to work. The first dress she'd selected, still gorgeous, would have to do.
The ball was in full swing by the time Olivia arrived. Officers of varying types and ranks flanked the red carpet, smiling gallantly and she acknowledged all of them as she moved down the line.
"Thank you for your service," she whispered occasionally, offering her best smile. When she reached the end of the line, she was surprised when the officer took her hand and kissed it. Looking up, she realized that Jake Ballard was standing there in his official uniform, complete with the white hat.
He appeared very pleased to see her, and told her so. Speechless, Olivia took her hand back and kept walking, glancing over her shoulder to see that Jake continued to greet other guests. How could she have been so stupid? Of course he would be here.
"Fantastic," she muttered to herself. Could this evening get any worse? Maybe before she would have been glad for Jake to distract her from Fitz and Mellie's years of parading around as a happy couple, but tonight she wanted Fitz's attention and with Jake Ballard in the room she might earn it—but for entirely the wrong reasons.
She found Cyrus instead and stuck to him like glue, both of them avoiding topics they didn't want to discuss. Cyrus talked about Ella, Olivia talked about work, and when the President and his date came into the room all eyes turned to them. Fitz came to stand in the middle of the dance floor, took a microphone and made a quick but beautiful speech expressing thanks to the servicemen and women in the room, and received loud applause for his efforts. He made mention of Maddie's son specifically, and then extended his hand to her for a dance. As the rest of the room began to join them, Olivia turned her attention to his dance partner. Maddie looked beautiful, she wore a navy blue dress which tapered out into an elegant pool at her feet and white lace capped sleeves. Her blonde hair was swept up into a similar bun as Olivia's and a simple and elegant necklace of freshwater pearls adorned her neck.
Olivia smoothed the front of her own black dress and touched her bare neck self-consciously and looked to Cyrus for a dance. Finding him looking at the bottom of his scotch glass, Olivia sighed when she felt the familiar touch of Jake's hand on her shoulder. Not at all in the mood to refuse him and feeling a little neglected, so she allowed herself to be swept into his arms and onto the dance floor just feet away from Fitz.
"It's been a while," Jake said to her.
"It has."
"You and Fitz haven't worked things out?" He smiled knowingly.
"That's none of your business." Olivia stiffened in his arms.
"Come home with me tonight," Jake said brazenly. Olivia looked over her shoulder, concerned that anyone at all would hear their conversation. She remained tight lipped for the rest of the dance. When it concluded she clapped politely her eyes searching for Fitz but finding him nowhere. "Offer still stands," Jake said as he moved off the floor and towards the bar. Olivia followed, in need of a drink, but stopped when she spotted Fitz walking out onto a balcony, flanked by secret service agents. She recognized both of the agents and decided to press her luck, walking as closely as she dared.
Neither agent spoke to her as she passed them slowly. "Fitz?" she asked quietly. He turned suddenly, his expression one of relief. She let go of the breath she was holding, too.
"Hello, Olivia."
Mildly distressed by the way he addressed her; she walked forward and smiled as best she could.
"Where's your date?" she asked.
"Where's yours? I saw you dancing with Jake."
"He's not my date," she corrected him.
"Ah." Fitz paused and turned to look out at the sparkling DC lights. "Well Maddie needed a moment; the first song that played was a song she used to dance to with her son David."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Olivia said.
"She'll be back in a minute."
"Right. You came out here to wait for her." He was such a gentleman. Olivia felt the clock ticking faster. "Fitz, I didn't come here with Jake or anyone else."
"It's fine, Olivia, it's none of my business."
"I sort of wish you did care," Olivia let out in a rushed breath.
"I don't want to do this right now."
"When should we do it, Fitz? You won't return my calls, you fired Abby, which you shouldn't have done by the way, because she's a great Press Secretary."
"She's a pretty good spy, too," Fitz said with a chuckle. "Abby has my recommendation and my respect, just not my ear."
"Fitz-"
"I'm sorry to interrupt, sir," An aide appeared in the door way just beyond the curtains. Olivia cursed under her breath. "Ms. Anderson has asked me to let you know she wasn't feeling well and has decided to end the evening early."
"Thank you," Fitz replied, stuffing his hands into his pockets and openly admiring Olivia in her dress. She flushed under the heat of his gaze and stepped closer to him. "Do you need a ride home?" he asked.
"That would be nice."
Fitz surprised Olivia by offering her his arm, but she declined. "That's what I thought," he said. Olivia's face fell but she followed behind him at a safe and discreet distance her mind reeling with what might happen when they were alone in the limo.
No one saw them enter the limo together as it had been parked on a secure and secluded floor of the parking garage. It would take several minutes to exit the structure and then wade through the thick traffic provided by weekend travelers, paparazzi, and buses in the busy downtown area. Olivia tried to look out the window and give him space since he clearly wasn't in the mood to talk, but her patience wore thin quickly.
"So is this how it's going to be?" Olivia asked. "We see other at functions, in the White House mall, pass without acknowledgement, maybe the occasional handshake?"
"Yes."
"WHY?" she asked desperately.
Fitz sat silent for a few moments, before surprising Olivia by speaking abruptly.
"I've never seen you like that, you know," Fitz whispered. "Never seen your hair just wavy, free, kissed by the sun. Never held your hand along a shoreline. I've never gone away with you and had the opportunity to just be with you, endlessly. I wanted that with you. But when I think about that, I think about Jake. I'm a man, Olivia, it bothers me. But you know I can get past that. You're a beautiful woman. There have been other men in your life. There's been other women in mine."
She bristled at the thought.
"But what I have a harder time with is the fact that you CHOSE it. And you KEEP CHOOSING it. So forgive me if I have my doubts that Jake will ever be out of your system, out of your mind, out of your heart."
She gave a wry smile. Jake had said the same thing about Fitz. More than once.
"I'm not with Jake anymore," she said. She didn't know if it was a lie. Nothing had been said. She still took his calls sometimes. "He's my friend," she added. They both knew it was a lie.
"Okay," Fitz nodded. "I heard him invite you home with him tonight. I didn't hear you turn it down. Damn it." He closed his eyes and leaned back against the seat. "We'll never have that without it being tainted, Olivia." Each time he said her full name instead of Liv, it killed her.
"Every time I think about sun and sand I see you on that beach with him. I see you leaving me, us, everything you care about behind. And the only thing I can reason is that you did it because you wanted to. And that tells me everything I need to know."
"You're supposed to forgive me, Fitz! You have to forgive me!"
"Oh honey, I do forgive you. We've forgiven each other for so much."
"You have?"
"Yes."
"Well then I don't understand why we can't-"
"Olivia, don't you get it? I'm not content to spend my life hiding our relationship. You don't want to go public. Stalemate. So I have to get on with my life. What happens when I want to take you out and you give me an excuse? What happens when your career is ruined because of your association with me? What happens if I marry you and your last name becomes Grant? You've shown me over and over that you don't want those things."
She gasped. Could he really think that?
"So, I heard you. I hear you. This is too much for you. Being with you in secret is too much for me. We cannot be friends. We cannot hang out. Now, am I being clear?"
She shook her head and in the quiet darkness he mumbled that he was sorry he'd been so frank.
"I'm sorry if I was harsh," he sighed. "Look, Olivia, I just-"
She shook her head and waved her hand, her mouth turning down in a frown briefly before she smiled through her tears. "I really did it this time, didn't I? It's really over?"
"That's always been up to you, Olivia. I just wasn't listening to you before. You've been trying to leave me for a long time. I just wouldn't let you. Well, I'm not standing in your way anymore. You can have your life, you can have Jake. Have a blast."
"Ugh, why do you always have to bring him up?!"
"BECAUSE HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND AND NOW HE'S FUCKING YOU!"
The limo came to a stop and Olivia knew after a few moments that they had arrived. She had thought him indifferent. She had thought him angry, but she had never imagined that he could be this hurt.
"I'm sorry, I-"
"Goodnight, Olivia."
Olivia walked up to the front door of her building and didn't look back at the limo. She heard it take off before the doors closed behind her and didn't relish the scene. Fitz's words haunted her. They convicted her. He knew she was afraid and she couldn't admit it. She was supposed to be fearless. But she couldn't let him—couldn't let this ruin her. Her father's words echoed in her ear and the more obstacles were removed from her and Fitz's path, the more she had to begin to realize that she was the only one standing in her own way.
Sullen, she kicked her heels off in the elevator, and gathered her skirt in her hands so she could walk. She dug around in her purse and was grateful when Abby opened the door. She had been working there all day.
"Wow," Abby said when Olivia walked past her. "What put that look on your face?"
Olivia rolled her eyes and gave Abby the story. "I don't know what he's doing, Abby. I love him, he knows that, and he still thinks he needs to be dating." She said the word with a sneer.
"That lawyer?" Abby asked.
"Yes, that LAWYER." Olivia sat down on her couch in a heap, "That other lawyer. You'd think he would've learned about lawyers, by now. We're difficult." She sighed.
"Did you have some difficulty with Madeline Anderson?"
"No, just with the fact that Fitz danced with her and is probably with her right now," Olivia said softly.
Abby nodded. "I'll get the wine."
A lot happened in this chapter! Fitz is frustrated. Olivia isn't ready. But their love is still alive in my heart and in theirs—promise! Thank you for reading!