Author's Note- Don't know if anyone's still keeping with this, since I update so sporadically, but it's my filler, and even fillers must be finished. It's a personal law.
Disclaimer- If it were mine, this is what would have happened... I think. So it's obviously not.
Jane came to in a hospital. That alone was enough to ruin his already questionable day. The bed beneath him was uncomfortable, but better than sleeping in a car he supposed, even if the sheets did leave something to be desired. They were coarse and almost brittle with starch. He wrinkled his nose at them and turned his head. His room wasn't large and certainly not private given that there was another bed on the other side of him just waiting for a victim, but luckily it was unoccupied for the moment. There was only one other occupant in the space with him.
The room's one very redeeming feature snuggled between his bed and the portal to the hallway beyond. Perhaps purposefully set up between him and freedom.
On his left, sat in a stiff chair near the door, one that appeared more uncomfortable than his questionable accommodations, was Lisbon. Her face was curled into the wooden armrest, arms crossed over her chest, half turned into the fold of her middle. The shoes had been kicked off her feet and her knees were drawn up slightly, like she was cold. She was out like a light.
For a moment, he sat and watched her doze. She looked so sweet and innocent that way, soft and simple in sleep. Even her usually furrowed brow was smooth and untroubled right now. It made his heart do little flip-flops in his chest, so he looked away when he started to worry the organ would fall right out of his ribcage. Unable to keep his attention away completely though, he glanced back at her eyes, on the pretext of making sure she was still asleep. The bags he'd noticed under her eyes a long time ago, were still present and he couldn't bring himself to wake her with them staring back at him.
She needed rest.
Distracted by the tubes running parallel to his body, Jane looked down at the IV in his arm. Every time you closed your eyes in a place like this, you ended up with one of their largest needles in your arm. It was a conspiracy, he was sure of it.
Had they pulled him in here with a gurney straight from the car or something?
He didn't remember losing consciousness in Lisbon's SUV, not enough to warrant a gurney, but then, there was quite a lot he was having trouble remembering at the moment. He mulled that over and wondered if maybe Lisbon hadn't helped him into the doors while he was half asleep. That made more sense. His eyes were drawn back to his sleeping friend, the dark ringlets of her hair swept over most of her face.
Wouldn't put it past her.
To his credit, he'd learned a long time ago not to try to predict what Lisbon would do all of the time, especially when she was really, really angry with him. It was sometimes the reason that he did tease her, so that she felt comfortable enough to be unhindered by anything.
He really had no room to be put out if she had done it either, not with how worried she'd been about him. That was probably the reason for her exhaustion anyway. Remembering at least how much of a handful he had been before his wife Angela, he pitied his friend.
The door to the room rattled it's shade loudly as it swung in and Lisbon's eyes flung open, her body reacting by sitting up before she was even awake.
A doctor with white hair to match his white lab coat strode into the room, looking down at a chart and not even aware that he'd disturbed anyone.
Jane kind of wanted to throw that clipboard at him.
"Well, good morning Mr. Jane." The elder man commented in a dry voice, with an all together too cheerful tone. "Or should I say, good afternoon?"
Lisbon squinted up at the man, then looked toward the bed, saw him and visibly stiffened. She sat up straighter in her seat, but didn't leave it.
Disappointed, he wished she would at least come stand beside him. He didn't like hospitals at the best of times, but he knew from experience that she could make them more bearable.
The doctor harrumphed at being relatively ignored. "It's good you came in. You should have been in here last night mind you, when the complications first started, but your tests are coming back clear. Except for a slight case of anemia... well, let's just say you're fate must have something else in store for you, eh?"
Jane rolled his eyes.
"So he's alright?" Lisbon asked, voice a little croaky with a grogginess she was steadily shoving aside.
"'Alright' might be a strong word." The doctor humored her. "He will be, certainly, but given the trauma he's suffered over the last few days, I don't think he should be running any marathons." A grin was aimed his way.
He didn't try to return it. "Then how come I still can't remember what happened, doc? Not even over the last few days?"
"Well obviously, you don't remember the incident itself because of the emotionally and physically based trauma. That often occurs in cases when the brain is deprived of oxygen for as long as yours was. You're very lucky Miss Lisbon pulled you out of the water, Mr. Jane. Heard you gave everyone quiet the scare."
Fighting off a flush of embarrassment, Jane tried not to look at the woman beside him. He didn't like the idea of her seeing him like that, or the thought of her being scared because of him. Angry, she was cute, but sad was just heart wrenching. Especially when that resulted in tears.
She didn't deserve that.
He didn't deserve that.
"As for the last few days..." The doctor glanced at Lisbon. "Do either of you know what a 'fugue state' is?"
Slowly, Jane shook his head.
Lisbon mirrored the action.
"It's where someone, you Mr. Jane, suffers the effects of total trauma-induced amnesia... but only temporarily. Memories, emotions, and even personality can be entirely wiped clear when this happens. Usually it means that the person who undergoes this effect wanders away from their life and from anything that might trigger their memories. They begin a new one, and the memories don't return for some time. You're very fortunate your episode was so brief, Mr. Jane, or you might have slipped away for who knows how long."
Eyes settled on him, and Jane looked over at his partner to gauge what she might be thinking about that little tidbit.
Her expression was pained and slightly embarrassed.
Understanding hit him somewhere in the back of his throat, closing it up and making it hard to breathe. Hard to bear.
So he had tried to leave. He'd tried to leave her. That explained a lot.
"How long can these states last?" Lisbon asked quietly, shifting her eyes away and staring at the foot of his bed as though her vision was glued there.
"Months."
"Months?!" She looked up at the man, horrified.
"Or longer."
Blanching a horrible shade of white, Lisbon turned away.
That seemed like a bad sign. "So I lost my memories. But, I got them back." Jane summarized wearily. "Why can't I remember the last few days exactly? I mean, what brings on that sort of thing? I'm I still suffering the effects of this- amnesia- fugue thing?"
"Fugues stated are usually precipitated by a stressor. I'd say almost being killed will do it." The doctor finally seemed to realize they weren't amused by his jokes and cleared his throat. "But leaving the fugue state can require the same amount of... oomph. At least it would in your case of such rapid acceleration of the effects. Unfortunately, this usually mean that the alternate personality, that one that has grown while in the fugue, is lost and it's memories with it. Basically, you couldn't remember a good chunk of your life while in it, and now that you're out, you likely will never be able to remember those days. It can cause quite the headache too. However, there's no cause for alarm. It's all perfectly normal."
Yeah, right. Jane would like to see the doctor forget whole days of his life and still dare to call it 'normal'. "So can I leave then?" He was done with this hospital stay already. Actually, from what Lisbon had told him, he'd spent quite enough time in hospitals in general lately.
"Not so fast. As I said, you are suffering from slight anemia, so you'll need to stay attached to that IV bag until it's empty. You'll be under doctors orders to take it easy for a while too. And the headaches you've been getting, while normal, shouldn't be something you just suffer through. So I'll write you out a prescription and Miss Lisbon can get it filled for you later, all right?"
Jane was too tired still to argue further with the man, not now that he knew his goal of getting out of here was in sight, so he gave a murmured consent and waited for the doctor to leave.
The second the man in white was gone, he noticed Lisbon was watching him again, peering at him cautiously.
He wondered about that, before remembering it wasn't too long ago that she'd seen him at a his worst or almost passed out while he was sitting in her car. At that, he tried to make his voice as gentle and reassuring as possible. "I'm okay, Lisbon."
She snorted. "I'm not sure okay is gonna apply for a while, Jane." Slumping back in her seat, she looked away and fiddled with the cross around her neck.
"At least it's over." He tried again.
The look she answered him with said clearly how little she thought of that consideration. "It'll be over when you aren't passing out every time I turn around, okay?"
Unable to do anything else, he just gave her a lopsided grin. "How long was I asleep?"
Her eyes darted to clock, before she shrugged. "Few hours."
He looked at the clock too and was shocked to see it was almost eight in the evening. "A few?"
Finally a bit of a smile curled her lips. "I'd say it was long overdue. Can't imagine your sleep last night was very restive."
"I could say the same to you." He quipped defensively, eying the chair she was in.
Suddenly Lisbon's expression turned vulnerable, lowering sheepishly.
It was disquieting. "Hey, don't do that." He reprimanded softly. Perhaps teasing wasn't the best idea while he was sitting up against the uncomfortable pillows of a hospital bed.
Reluctantly, she looked back up at him.
Their eyes met. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm glad you finally got some sleep to combat those half-moons under your eyes. I've been keeping you up, haven't I?"
Slowly, she shook her head and mumbled into her chest while looking at her hands. "'s not your fault. Just can't sleep much lately."
He had a suspicion he knew why though. It still wasn't something he liked thinking about.
They stayed that way the remainder of their time in the hospital, talking quietly back and forth, trying to pass the time. It was somber, rather than their usual light banter, but they both seemed to be content with that.
Jane never thought to question that Lisbon would stay with him, and she apparently didn't even consider leaving. When the doctor returned with his next round, he had a prescription for pain medication and release papers in hand.
He took them and filled them out eagerly.
Lisbon stepped out to speak with the doctor one last time and to bring around her car, giving him enough privacy so that he could change. She came back in when it was time to wheel him to her car, stealing the place of the nurse that usually would have done it before anyone could say word one about it.
"You could at least go fast down the halls." He complained to her, viewing the entire wheelchair with distaste. How he hated hospitals.
Behind him, she just chuckled and kept her steady pace to the doors of the hospital. They opened on a warm evening, stars bright in the sky and only a slight rumble of traffic cutting through the sounds of night. Lisbon helped him into the car, lifting him up with one arm as she held the door open, even though he didn't really need it to rise. Once again, she settled him into the seat before closing the door.
When she got in on the other side and started the car, Jane watched her with something of a fascination.
She was taking much too attentive care of him. He didn't deserve her, but he'd try to make up for everything she'd gone through for him lately. That was a promise.
Pulling out into the streets, they almost immediately stopped by a late night pharmacy nearby to fill out his prescription. That done, they both climbed back in and resumed.
Peering out the window as she drove, Jane abruptly realized where she was headed this time and his voice came out squeaky. "Don't take me home!"
Lisbon glanced over at him, confused. "What?"
"Don't take me home, Lisbon, please." He reiterated.
Rising outrage. Pure and simply, it flashed over her expression, gaining momentum with each feature it morphed. "You just got out of the hospital, Jane!"
"So why punish me further?!" He reasoned. "That's just cruel Lisbon."
She spluttered. "You have been through... a lot, all right? We all have, and I'm taking you home to get some real sleep and some proper food."
"At a motel?" His flat tone contradicted that.
"Is it my fault you haven't got a proper living space?" She shot back.
"Come on." He whined back at her. "I sleep and eat better at office anyway, you know that. Isn't that why you took me there the other night?"
"Jane-" She growled warningly.
"Don't try to tell me you're not going back to the office tonight, despite the hour. We both know you are, even though you need sleep just as much as I do." He sat back, having made what he knew was a valid point. If she wasn't going straight back to the office after she dropped him off, Rigsby could paint him purple.
"I am not the one recovering from trauma!" Lisbon practically shouted at him.
Jane cut his eyes to the glare out his window. "Yeah, right." He mumbled.
The car went silent instantly.
He tried not to feel guilty. He had stepped over a line, one he had set up himself in order to protect her. After she told him what happened to him, they were never going to speak of it again. But in his anger at her double standard, he'd tossed that out the window without even thinking. Why? Because the case involved Red John and one of his minions. He was an idiot. A cruel, bitter idiot.
One that was on a mission.
"You're sleeping." She growled at him, before he could say another word. "If I've gotta knock you out myself, so help me God, Jane-"
"I'll sleep on your couch, and you won't even know I'm there." He assured her, trying to gain back the ground he'd just lost. "I'll be as quiet as a little tiny mouse."
Lisbon didn't want to smile at him, he could tell, so she turned slightly away from him, huffing. "Quieter."
The SUV turned a corner that would take them back the way to work and he breathed a sigh of relief. He needed this case. It could lead him to Red John and he couldn't afford to pass up the opportunity.
When they got to the office, there were still a few lights on. People where traipsing the hall on their way out, or sitting at their desks doing paperwork. Even their bull pen was occupied.
Cho was sitting at his desk looking over photos, his suit jacket over the back of his chair and hair slightly rumpled. The second the man met Jane's eyes, he spoke. "Weren't you going to the hospital?"
"Eh, hospital care is overrated."
Ever the stoic, Cho merely shrugged. "You're an idiot."
Lisbon told him to head home.
The man actually listened to what she said, nodding tiredly and standing up to pull on his jacket.
The look Lisbon shot toward Jane clearly said 'would that have been so hard?', to which he just smiled, slipping into her office.
Their night passed slowly, in little jerks of time like a broken clock. He laid on the couch while she tracked down leads until his eyelids grew too heavy and fell without him even being able to fight.
The next day, they got another call.