Chapter 29 – Insano quod sano

There was silence in the small hallway as Katherine looked blankly at Remus. Remus arched an eyebrow at her; he knew she'd heard him, so he wasn't going to repeat himself, but she wasn't being very forthcoming with an explanation – or a denial for that matter. He had the distinct feeling that she'd just slipped up. Again. Exactly how much was she hiding from him?

"Well?" he prompted at last.

"Well what?" asked Katherine pleasantly, keeping her expression carefully neutral.

"Katherine when exactly did you get out of Azkaban?" asked Remus with a sigh, not really expecting her to tell him.

"On the day of rebirth," she answered flippantly, an overly cheerful expression on her face that told Remus not to push the subject, and turned away from him to look at Harry. "How did you find out about me and Sirius?"

"Bellatrix Lestrange."

"Trix? But she didn't know that-" Katherine stopped, a thought occurring to her. "Uh, exactly how much did she tell you about me and Sirius?"

"How much is there to know?" asked Harry, staring incredulously at her. "She said you were together and the other woman said you were probably only with him because you liked to live dangerously."

"Other woman?" asked Katherine. "Red head? How the hell did she know about him?"

"Bellatrix told her," answered Harry. "Who is she?"

"Alexandra McKenzie," said Remus quietly, half smiling at Katherine. "You two used to be quite close in first year, I seem to remember."

"Yes, well, that was before she decided she wanted to kill me," said Katherine carelessly. At Remus' questioning look she shrugged and elaborated: "I brought Jamie to a DE meeting in a crumpled heap after he'd gone snooping after Faye. That's what the folders I gave you were for – so if anyone goes looking again, she can use them to prove she's me."

"And if they demand more substantial proof?" asked Remus gravely.

"Then she can tell them to stop wasting her time or she'll start screaming for help. She's got everyone else convinced she really is Faye, so no one would believe the ravings of Trix or the McKenzies."

"And when they find out everyone else knows she really is Faye?"

Katherine grinned, blue eyes glinting. "Then I'll tell them I'm very good."

"Does everyone who was there want you dead, then?" asked Harry quietly. If they did, then she'd taken a hell of a risk in switching places with him.

"Pretty much. I only saw four people – Lestrange, the McKenzies and Lloyd. I don't think he wants me dead, but you never can tell with Ju." She smiled, though Harry could see the weariness behind it. What kind of life was that? Always having to watch your back in case the person behind you was carrying a knife; no wonder she was so strange. At least he didn't have to constantly mix with the people who wanted him dead.

"Bellatrix mentioned someone called Iscariot," offered Harry, then frowned as both Katherine and Remus gave him very odd looks. "What?"

"Iscariot? You sure?" asked Katherine carefully.

"Yeah, she definitely called someone Iscariot," said Harry, wondering why they were still looking at him as though he'd suggested they sing Happy Birthday to Voldemort. "I didn't see who it was, though."

"Well they're not a DE," said Katherine. "I think Tom would refuse to enlist anyone named Iscariot on principle."

"Why? What's wrong with it?" asked Harry, growing more confused by the second.

"Iscariot," said Remus gently. "As in Judas Iscariot, possibly the most infamous traitor of all time."

"Oh," said Harry quietly, looking over at Katherine whose eyebrows were knitted together in a frown. She glanced up, a sour expression on her face.

"She got to Ju."

"Ju?" asked Remus curiously.

"Julian – he was the guy on the roof of your flats. Never did quite trust him exactly, but... Well, I guess I'll just have to be a little more careful around him, that's all." Her hand went to her throat and for a moment she looked confused, then sighed. "Ah, I forgot I took it off."

"Took what off?" asked Harry, frowning at her.

"My necklace; it has..." She trailed off, pulling a face. "Ok, look, I'm going to tell you, otherwise you're only going to find out from someone else, but if you go mental, I'm going home, all right?"

"All right."

"Sirius and I weren't just going out," she said delicately. "We were engaged."

x – X – x

Severus looked at his watch for what felt like the hundredth time and ran an almost frantic hand through his hair. This was the fourth place he'd tried and no one had seen her for weeks. The sound of a door slamming in the hall made him start and he hauled open the study door and looked out.

Bellatrix Lestrange stood in the dim light, tossing her cloak onto a peg and muttering something angrily under her breath. Severus sighed, making Bella whirl round to face him.

"You? What are you doing here?" she asked shortly, glaring at him.

"What concern is it of yours?" asked Severus, having no intention whatsoever of telling Bella the real reason behind his visit. Bella scowled at him and made for a room on the other side of the hall, but stopped before she reached it, looking back at him.

"You're a real git, you know that, Snape?" she said softly, loathing underlining every word. "All that stuff about Potter being rubbish at Occlumency – you could have just said he was good at it. Honestly, you're getting almost as bad as her."

Severus kept his face carefully blank, processing Bella's words. Potter had shown no particular aptitude for Occlumency when he'd taught him, and as far as he knew, Dumbledore had discontinued the lessons after that last disastrous session, so that could mean only one thing – it wasn't Harry after all.

"I presume you're referring to Katherine," he said quietly, wondering how much information he could get Bella to tell him before she got suspicious.

"Of course I'm bloody referring to Katherine," snapped Bella. "'Insano quod sano'. She's a raving lunatic!"

"And you're not?"

The look Bella shot at him would have made a weaker man flinch. "Riddle will get hers," replied Bella softly. "I'll make sure of that."

Severus did frown this time, something about Bella's expression was making his blood run cold. "What can you possibly do to her that she hasn't already thought of? Hurting Lupin is suicide and trying to trip her up will only make her angry."

Bella smiled slowly, dark eyes shining with secret knowledge. "Riddle doesn't know everything."

"Perhaps not, but she's lost everything once before, and she's still standing."

"I'm not planning on taking everything," said Bella calmly. "Just what matters most. Good day, Severus."

Severus didn't answer as she disappeared into one the rooms and shut the door behind her. What matters most. What was that supposed to mean? Bella had barely spoken to Katherine since they'd escaped from Azkaban – how on earth did she know what mattered most to Katherine? She hadn't got a clue – not if she'd ruled out Lupin so carelessly. That man was Katherine's rock – it didn't matter what happened to her, as long as she still had him, she'd keep fighting.

Maybe that was part of the reason he'd spent all those years making sure that Lupin wasn't put in unnecessary danger – all those snide remarks that a werewolf wasn't suitable had been meant of course, and had been duly argued against by various Order members, Black and Potter especially, but no one, not even Saint Lupin, had seen them for what they really were – a way of salvaging that last memory of Katherine. Because even then, when she'd been issued with a death certificate and her cell had been bricked up, he still hadn't been able to let go of the idea that none of it quite fitted. People like Katherine didn't just get arrested and shipped off to Azkaban without kicking up a fuss, and they certainly didn't slip away quietly in a dark cell in the middle of the North sea. People like Katherine went down in a blaze of glory or not at all. People like Katherine didn't leave without saying goodbye.

And then on a warm night in late August, he'd gone to her parent's old house and half an hour later, she'd walked in through the back door, looking pretty much the same as she ever had – same glossy black hair, same brilliant sapphire eyes, same fierce smile – and she'd run off, only this time he'd run after her. He was not going to lose her again.

He sighed, looking at his watch again and, after a moments consideration, disapparated. He was going home – it was as good a place as any to wait for her.

x – X – x

Harry was silent, mostly from sheer shock, but partly because he knew if he opened his mouth right at that moment, he'd go mental and he was certain Katherine would carry out her promise and vanish the second he did. He didn't want that – he wanted to know what the hell had possessed his godfather to propose to Voldemort's daughter.

"Uh, Kat, I think you could have been a little more tactful about that," said Remus gently, eyeing Harry worriedly.

"How?" asked Katherine bluntly, arching an eyebrow. "It's the truth and I don't want anyone else giving him their distorted version of it. There's only one person living who knows the full story and that's me. A couple of people know the facts, but I don't think even you fully understood it, so they don't have a hope." She looked over at Harry who was still trying to decide how best to phrase the sentiment: 'What was he on?' without making Katherine leave.

"You could have explained first, though," said Remus, heaving a sigh.

"Maybe that's not the problem," said Katherine, gazing at him from under dark black lashes. "Maybe he's just not used to hearing the truth."

Remus narrowed his eyes but was prevented from commenting further by Harry, who had at last managed a strangled: "Why?"

Katherine looked almost surprised. "Why were we engaged? Because we were in love."

She said it so simply that it took Harry a moment to register it and even when he had, he wasn't entirely sure he believed it.

"But you were a Slytherin."

"He was raised among Slytherins," shrugged Katherine. "It didn't bother him, so I didn't let it bother me." She smiled softly. "And if I'm being completely honest, we didn't actually think it'd last."

"What?" Harry was staring at her now, very nearly lost for words. First she said she was in love with Sirius, now she was saying she hadn't intended to go out with him?

"We...well, we got together at the end of seventh year, after the exams and..." She shrugged. "It was just meant to a bit of fun – a crazy fling to show we didn't care what anyone else thought and it just...didn't end. Somewhere along the line it stopped being a joke and became something...quite different." She looked Harry straight in the eyes and said firmly: "I did love him. If you believe nothing else, believe that."

"Then why did he never mention you?" asked Harry quietly.

"Because he thought she was dead," answered Remus, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "And if nothing he could do would bring her back, he saw very little point in bringing up the subject. I think he was afraid you'd think less of him for falling for a Death Eater and that was the last thing he wanted – especially after he'd just found you again. You meant the world to him, Harry."

There was quiet for a while, then Katherine sighed. "Look, I know it seems about as likely as Malfoy being awarded the Noble Peace prize, but it just kind of worked. I guess you really had to be there to understand. "

"Show me then," challenged Harry, gazing at her with fierce green eyes. "If you had to be there, then show me. I've seen how pensieves work."

"Harry it's not quite as easy as that," said Remus gently. "You have to have-"

"Have we got any wooden bowls?" interrupted Katherine. "Or plastic – that'd probably work too."

Remus looked completely thrown by this, then said hesitantly. "Uh, there might be some in the kitchen. You'd have to check the cupboards. Wh-?"

But Katherine had already gone, the door swinging behind her and a moment later Remus heard her rummaging through the cabinets. "And who's got my wand?" she called, voice slightly muffled through the door.

Remus sighed and entered the kitchen, pulling it out of his pocket. Harry followed, just in time to see Katherine straightening up, a blue Tupperware bowl in her hand.

"This'll do," she said brightly, taking her wand from Remus and pulling a knife out of a cutlery drawer. Harry eyed the knife warily, but she just sat down at the small table and began carving symbols into the plastic.

"Dare I ask what you're doing?" asked Remus, taking the chair opposite her and giving her a bemused look.

"Makeshift pensieve," replied Katherine, a look of intense concentration on her face. "Won't hold many memories, but it'll be fine for what we need it for."

"You're serious, aren't you?" asked Harry quietly. Katherine flashed him a wicked grin and set about her work again. He glanced at Remus, who was watching Katherine with an expression halfway between amusement and exasperation. What must it be like to have a friend like her, he wondered. Someone who could shut someone up just by looking at them, who could slip so easily underneath the radar of the Aurors when she was just a room away and who, just for a while, made the impossible seem possible.

And that was probably what had attracted Sirius, too. Katherine looked so calm and composed on the outside, but even though he'd only seen her a couple of times, he'd seen that mask slip a lot already; she couldn't help it, especially when she grinned like that. That was the smile of someone who knew the world was out to get her and was fighting back with everything she had. The smile, he realised, of someone who understood the wolf. No wonder she was Remus' best friend.

"Are you completely sure this is going to work?" asked Remus, resting his head on his hand.

"'Course I am," said Katherine, glancing up at him with bright sapphire eyes. "I'm making it, aren't I?"

x – X – x

Severus heard voices coming from the kitchen when he apparated into his bedroom and it took him a moment to realise it was Nicola and Robert. He tossed his cloak on the bed and went downstairs, listening outside the door for a minute to make sure there was no one else in there, and entered. Nicola looked over at the sound of the door opening, but the disappointment that appeared on her face told him Katherine hadn't come back yet.

"You haven't seen her have you?" she asked, not looking very hopeful.

"No," said Severus quietly, glancing at Robert. "She still not back?"

"Well she got out all right," said Robert, scratching his head. "I presumed they'd drop her off here but evidently not."

"Who's they?" asked Severus, narrowing his eyes. Robert hadn't mentioned any 'they' before.

"Lupin and a friend," said Robert evenly, sipping at the mug of tea he was holding.

"You got Lupin to help but you wouldn't tell me what was going on?" asked Severus angrily. "What the hell can he do that I can't?"

"Turn into a wolf once a month," answered Robert dryly, smiling very slightly, which only served to infuriate Severus further.

"He's got you there," pointed out Nicola, turning round to pour another cup of tea so that Severus wouldn't see her grin.

"What did you need a werewolf for?" asked Severus, not in the least bit pacified by this explanation.

"To get her out," said Robert simply. "It worked – that's all that's important, Severus. Katherine is fine, wherever she is. At a guess, I'd say she's probably staying with Lupin somewhere. She'll turn up later, she always does."

"And in the meantime we're just supposed to sit around going frantic?" asked Severus scathingly, although he already knew what Robert's answer was going to be.

"Yes, because that's what we do." He stopped smiling and look seriously at his old companion. "And honestly, would you really have it any other way?"

Severus shot him a dark look. "Yes, I would."

"Then perhaps you should tell her you're madly in love with her and then maybe she'd come home once in a while," said Nicola, handing him a steaming mug of tea. Severus stared at her, then at Robert, who didn't look in the least bit phased by Nicola's remark.

"I...what?" he managed at last.

"We kind of twigged back in sixth year when you cursed Rosier into next week when he suggested she was a mudblood," explained Robert calmly. "Then when you took her to the Halloween Ball."

"And slaved night and day to make that potion when she got sick," added Nicola.

"Then you broke Rosier's nose when we found out it was his fault, I seem to recall," nodded Robert, draining his tea. "Never mind very nearly murdering Black for asking her out."

"Oh, and the fact that you've become a bitter recluse ever since she died – that was a small hint, too," put in Nicola, dark eyes amused. "But it's ok."

"Ok?" asked Severus, sounding slightly lost. "How on earth is it ok?"

"Because she loves you too," answered Robert, making it sound so simple.

"If she had, she wouldn't have got engaged to Black," pointed out Severus sharply, fervently wishing he wasn't having this conversation. It was bad enough having it with himself, but not here, not with two of his oldest friends.

"You can love more than one person," said Nicola with a slight smile. "Take it from me."

"And she's taken her ring off," said Robert casually. "Don't know where she's put it, but it's not on her finger anymore. I'd say that's as good a sign as any that she's moved on."

"So don't be an idiot," said Nicola curtly. "Because there's a big difference between the way she feels about you and the way she felt about Black."

"And that would be?"

"She loved him, but she's in love with you," said Nicola gently, smiling softly.

"I don't see the difference."

Nicola shrugged. "You will."