Chapter 50. Let me repeat, for those who missed it: Chapter 50. Oh, Dear Lord. We're finally here. A real and true milestone. I can't even believe it. I never thought this story would make it this far. You all have been amazingly supportive in encouraging me to keep this up, and now we're here. Thank you all, and please enjoy what I hope will be a fitting anniversary chapter.

I step into my room at the end of the day, tired from having helped organize the still barely settled into base and mediating half a dozen arguments that I know are mostly based around stress and fear. All I hope for is to be able to get some sleep. Instead, I'm ambushed by two AIs floating at eye level.

Part of me is annoyed, but I know Rho wouldn't bother me unless it's important, not with how much she's been avoiding me lately. I know I shouldn't blame her. I'm the one who hasn't managed to fully trust her yet. I hope she doesn't feel bad, hope she understands that it'll take time.

"I take it you two are up to something," I say, trying to sound joking around my exhaustion. I think I could fall asleep standing before I reach the bed even though it's just a few feet away. Of course, a few words from Church and that all changes.

"I know where Dr. Han is."

At those words, I'm alert, eyes wide and expectant for him to continue.

"See, I figured it out while fixing Rho-"

"What?" I interrupt immediately. I turn to look at the more familiar AI, concerned. "What did he fix? What was wrong?"

"Not much," Church answers for her. "She'd fixed most of it by herself already, actually. She's pretty smart."

I don't know if Church sees it, but I've known Rho long enough that, even though she isn't connected to me at the moment, I can tell she's pleased with the compliment.

"And you're okay now?" I persist, looking at Rho for an answer.

"I'm fine," she says happily. "Better than ever before, actually."

"Good," I say, nodding. "I've been getting so lost in this new base. I could really use my old navigator," I add, trying to show my relief through the joke.

"I'll be happy to help," she chirps, shifting to float over my shoulder even though she's still in the base's computers.

"Anyway," Church says, sounding annoyed. Once he has both our attention again, he continues. "I think Dr. Han's at an old Covenant base. I have the coordinates, as well as a map of the place. We should make a plan and go catch her."

"You sound awfully eager," I observe.

"Well, now that I remember her, I also remember what a complete bitch she is. I mean, she helped the Director with some of his theories that eventually lead to his idea for AI fragmentation. He would have come up with it himself eventually, but she still helped," the blue AI explains. "Add to that everything she's done to you guys, and the fact that she wants to start another war… I can't really think of anyone who wouldn't want to hunt her down."

I smile at him. "Alright. We'll need some time to plan this thoroughly, decide who's going and who's staying…"

"She might have more copies there," Rho says. "Church thinks this is the base where she made them, so there's a good chance she'll have made more."

"Which means this is an armor only mission," I say thoughtfully. "Even with Carolina here now, we're still probably going to be outnumbered."

"We'll figure something out," Church says, waving his hand like it's no issue. "You've got two AIs to think for you now, as well as two Freelancers. This'll be easy."

I wish I could believe him, but I doubt I'll ever be able to feel fully confident in a plan ever again. "Don't underestimate mom," I warn him. "Or Gold. She's smart and cruel, and he's stronger than you'd think to look at him. They're a formidable pair."

"We can still take them," Church says confidently. "Don't worry."

I do worry, though. I worry about a lot of things. I worry about who will be going on the mission, and what I can do to ensure their safety. I worry about who will be staying behind, and if mom might send someone to attack our base while we're gone. I worry about what we'll do if mom isn't there. I worry about Carolina, and taking her on a mission with us when I'm still not sure if I trust her. I think I do; I don't think she'll hurt us, but I also don't know how she operates in the field. A mission with her could be a risk.

I also worry about Wash, who I'm not sure if I can still even call that. I know I want him to have my back for this mission. I trust him, just like Manny did. I don't know, however, if he wants to fight with me anymore. He's still giving me the cold shoulder, keeping his distance. I can understand it, really I can. I hurt him, and even if he thinks it was unintentional, he still wants to avoid me. I can understand that perfectly. It doesn't change the fact that I want him to get over it and talk to me again. I don't want things to end like this.

I loop through all these thoughts over and over again in my head until it starts to spin. It takes me a moment to realize that the dizziness isn't my imagination.

"Do you need to see Rhodi?" Rho asks, popping up on my shoulder. Beneath her concern I can feel overwhelming joy at the fact that I'm carrying her again. I know she hated feeling like I didn't trust her just as much as I hated not being able to. We're both glad we can settle into this old habit again.

"No," I shake my head, adding to the slight dizziness. "I'm just tired," I lie.

Rho folds her arms, clearly not buying it. "And a little dehydrated," she adds. "And you haven't eaten yet today."

I smile fondly at her worrying. "What would I do without you to pester me?" I muse.

"Die of thirst, hunger, and exhaustion," she answers with conviction. "Now come on, let's get you something to eat."

"Later," I insist. "I'm heading to go see Nick."

"Can't that wait?"

"No," I answer, rounding a corner toward the infirmary. "I haven't visited him yet today, and I promised I would."

"Nick would understand if you were a little late," Rho pointed out, floating in front of my face in an attempt to stop me.

"This isn't just about checking up on him," I explain. "I need his advice."

Rho seems like she'll argue for a second, then nods. "Do you want me to log off?" she asks as we reach the infirmary's door.

"I would like to talk to him alone," I admit. I don't want to push her away, not when we're just starting to trust each other again, but sometimes it's difficult to hold a conversation with someone else in your head.

"I understand," she says. Her avatar flashes in front of a terminal next to the door. "Plug me in here so I can keep planning," she requests.

I nod, waiting until she withdraws from my mind before pulling her. She pops back up once she's in the computer, avatar slightly bigger than what her normal projectors would allow comfortably. "Just remember to take me with you when you leave," she says as I enter the infirmary.

When I step into the infirmary Rhodi's sleeping in a chair in the corner. Nick signals for me to be quiet with a finger over his lips before waving me toward him.

"He didn't want to leave while Carolina was using the healing unit," he explains in a whisper once I reach him. "And before that he spent hours running in and out of here gathering medical equipment from abandoned sections of the base."

"When was the last time he slept?" I whisper back, glancing at the teen over my shoulder.

Nick shrugs. "He hasn't that I've seen. I thought he was sleeping whenever I was, but I guess I was wrong."

"He hasn't wanted to leave your side," I comment. I feel guilty that I haven't been checking up on him more, or anyone else in the family for that matter. I haven't felt right for a long time, and I've let it affect my leadership. I need to fix that. I know I do. I just don't know how I can face them after what happened.

"Tinu says she hasn't seen him in the mess hall in a while," Nick adds, unaware of my thoughts. "Or you, for that matter." The comment catches my attention and I turn back to look at him. "You've been distant," he accuses gently. "Even when you come to see me, you're quiet. Withdrawn. What's on your mind?"

I shake my head, wanting to say it's nothing. I always want to say it's nothing. Nick's already dealing with so much, between losing his arm and everything else. It wouldn't be right for me to burden him with my own problems. I can't talk to him about this.

"Si," he says, voice surprisingly forceful for how quiet he is. "I've told you before that you can talk to me. Don't turn me into a liar by refusing." I meet his eyes and see care and concern, but behind it there's everything I'm feeling, all the pain and regret and confusion. I realize that this isn't just for me. It's for him as well. If we talk, he has a chance to release some of his own thoughts. On top of everything else, there's now the guilt that I haven't given him this chance.

"Tell me what's bothering you," Nick insists, tying to force a comforting smile.

"Everything," I finally whisper. With that one word, it's like a dam broke, and I begin telling Nick all the confused thoughts swirling though my mind. I start with Church's discovery.

"But that's good," Nick says, sitting up straighter when he hears the possibility of finding mom. "Silver, this is a breakthrough. We might finally be able to find her."

"Or we won't," I counter. "She might not be there. And if she is, she might have more copies. There could be hundreds of them waiting for us there. And even if I bring all our best fighters to get past them, I'll still be leaving everyone at base unprotected. She could send another army, and then…" I trail off, unable to voice that fear. "The last time I left, everything went to shit. I don't want to risk that again. I'm afraid to do anything."

Nick's hand finds mine, prompting me to look up from where I'd been staring at my knees and focus on his face. "You know we have to try," he says gently. "It's like you've said before, we can't run forever. We don't want to. Finding mom is the only way to clear our names."

"But what if the mission goes bad?" I plead, begging for an answer.

"Then we deal with it," Nick says simply. "We adapt, like we always have. You got us out when mom left. You hid us when we were being hunted, and you went out and found everyone who was still missing. I know you can do this."

"At least one of us does," I say miserably.

Nick's hand finds my shoulder and starts pulling me toward him. It's an awkward hug, since he's half laying down and half sitting up and I'm too short to lean across the hospital bed properly and I'm trying to not touch his shoulder that I still can't make myself look at, but despite all that it's exactly what I need. I hug him back as hard as I dare, wishing I could never leave this moment. For a few seconds I let myself stop being the strong one and I let my brother comfort me.

"I know you're scared," Nick says, voice catching in his throat. "We all are. And we're all sad. But we can't give up now. Not with all we've been through. We've come too far and lost too much to stop pushing ahead."

Nick finally lets me go and I pull back, wiping a few stray tears from my eyes. "I know," I say, nodding. "I just don't want to lose anyone else."

"I can't guarantee we won't," Nick admits. "But we have to take that chance. None of us want to keep living like this."

I nod, still not wanting to accept it. I wish I could believe that we could just stay hidden forever, but I know it's not true. The Covenant will never stop hunting us. Not unless we give them someone else to blame.

"Rhodi says I should be better in a few days, thanks to Carolina and her healing unit," Nick says, breaking the silence. "In fact, he says I'm well enough that he's willing to attach my new arm, once Yttri's done making it. I should be back in fighting shape soon enough. Maybe I can go on the mission with you."

"Yeah," I say, trying to sound confident again. "Maybe you can."

"Of course, if I'm going then Tinu will be too," Nick continues, sounding like we're planning a family outing instead of a mission. "I assume Carolina will want to come. And of course Wash will be there to watch your back."

I don't say anything in response to his comment. I don't think I do anything at all, really. Still, somehow Nick notices something, a slight shift in my demeanor or change in breathing, and he knows something's wrong.

"Do you think he won't?" he asks, sounding genuinely confused. "He's been really helpful since he got here, especially toward you. I thought he was your friend."

"He is," I say, sounding lost. "Or was. I don't know anymore. It's… been weird between us." Nick gives me a look, and I know he won't let the matter drop that easily, so I keep talking. I explain everything, from how much I've grown to trust and rely on the former Freelancer to that day in the training room. Of course, Nick doesn't look surprised by any of it.

"You knew," I say as soon as I realize it.

"I suspected," Nick corrects. "I couldn't be sure, but I saw how he acted around you, how protective he was. I knew he cared, at least." My face must have turned accusing, because he quickly defended, "I tried to warn him away. I did. Wash just wouldn't listen."

I sigh, shoulders sagging. "You know why it wouldn't work."

"Of course I know," Nick agrees, voice almost bitter. "It keeps me up at night, how much I know. I also know you wouldn't want him to go through that."

"I hate this," I whisper, hoping he won't hear.

Nick's hand is on my shoulder again, resting gently. "Wash will get over it," he assures me. "And he'll still want to fight with you. He agreed to follow you. This doesn't change that."

I nod again, ready for this conversation to end. I don't want to think about Wash anymore. This was all a lot simpler when I still knew how to lie to myself.

"Thank you," I say, hugging Nick again. "I know I shouldn't bug you with this. I just…"

"I asked you to," Nick interrupts. "I like talking to you, and I like giving advice," he points out. I see a twinkle in his eyes and remember that, on occasion, he's an even bigger gossip than Tinu.

"This stays between us," I warn jokingly. I'm not serious, of course. I know he would never betray my trust by talking about this with anyone.

Nick nods, making a comically thoughtful face. "Us," he agrees. "And Tinu, and Donut, and Rubi…"

I roll my eyes, holding in a laugh. We both know that between those three the whole base would know any secret within minutes.

Yttri spends breakfast the next morning informing everyone in the mess hall that if they so much as talk to her today she will personally rip their hearts out. At least, that's how Tinu describes it. Yttrium's actual words are "don't bother me, I'll be working." Tinu likes her version better. She thinks it's more dramatic.

Simmons barely has time to tell Sarge he'll be busy before she's dragging him away from the sim-troopers' table. After days of planning and gathering supplies, they finally have everything they need to start building Nick's arm.

The work starts with melting down and reshaping plates of a metal Simmons hasn't seen before. Yttri informs him it's an alloy she made herself, mixing a few types that aren't found on earth. It's very light in Simmons' hands, but surprisingly strong. Even with heating it to the point of glowing, Simmons still finds himself relying on the strength in his own inorganic arm to bend the metal.

The next step is laying out wiring that Yttri had made the day before. Once all supplies are gathered on the table, Yttri sets to work.

Simmons hovers by her elbow, waiting to retrieve tools or hand her the next part necessary. He shields his eyes against sparks when she begins welding, surprised the mechanic refuses to wear gloves or a mask. Yttri claims they make her less accurate. Simmons just hopes she won't hurt herself. He eventually backs up the few feet necessary to lean against a wall, lunging forward off it when she asks for his help again. He loses track of time amidst the sounds of Yttri building, watching her hands move rapidly around hot metal and sharp edges.

It's mesmerizing, he finds, watching her work. It's different from the times she's repaired something before. There's a new light in Yttri's eyes, reflecting the joy she feels when she creates something. Simmons can't stop staring. He decides after a few minutes that he doesn't want to stop. He's never seen her more beautiful than this.

He jolts awake many hours later, having dozed off while leaning against the wall. It's Yttri's voice that wakes him, calling his name.

"Simmons," she calls, soft and teasing.

It's the first time Simmons can remember that she's used his real name, and she sounds much closer than she usually stands. He opens his eyes to see her studying his face from a few inches away.

"Y-yttri," he gasps nervously, standing up straighter and blushing, embarrassed that he fell asleep while working. He glances at a clock on the wall and realizes that it's past midnight. They've been working all day.

"Come look," she says, sounding almost childlike in her excitement. She grabs his hand, which instantly causes Simmons to blush, and pulls him toward the table. On it is an exact replica of an arm, everything perfect save for the bluish silver color. Simmons leans closer and sees lines on the palms and fingers where a humans skin would crease, marveling at the exact details.

"What do you think?" Yttri asks, standing back to watch his reaction with tired eyes.

Simmons turns to face her, eyes wide with amazement. "It's beautiful," he says wonderingly. "I've never seen anything like this, Yttri. It's perfect."

Yttri smiles slightly at the praise and steps forward to join him by the table. "It is pretty nice," she agrees, leaning against Simmons side and yawning. He hesitates for a moment before putting an arm around her shoulder. He thinks she'll push him away, but to Simmons surprise and joy she presses further into the embrace. "I was going to use synthetic skin, but I thought Nick would prefer something flashy," Yttri continues, more yawns interrupting her words.

"You should go to bed," Simmons advises, using his arm around the mechanic to keep her standing.

Yttri shakes her head. "I need to work on the shoulder some more," she insists. "I want to start the attachment tomorrow and it's not ready."

"It can wait until morning," Simmons says, guiding her toward the door. Yttri tries to drag her feet and he sighs. "You won't get any work done if you fall asleep in here anyway," he reasons.

Yttri starts to protest before cutting herself off with a yawn. Realizing that she's effectively argued against herself, she grudgingly agrees. "Fine."

Simmons walks her to the door, finally letting go when they have to go different directions down the hall. He wonders what it means, that she leaned on him and let him hug her, and tells himself not to blow things out of proportion. He tries to reason with himself that she was just tired, and probably didn't even realize what she was doing. He still spins back around faster than he would have thought possible when Yttri speaks up.

"Hey, Cyborge," she says, still facing him in the hall. Once Simmons is looking at her again, she smiles. "Thanks," she says simply.

"No-no problem," Simmons stammers, smiling back.

"Goodnight," Yttri finally whispers before walking toward her own room.