TV Guide capsule for Saturday, Nov. 14, 1992:
9 PM Who's the Boss?—Comedy
Hank bases the characters for his cable-access puppet show on friends and family.
Scene I: Tony's high school classroom, early afternoon
(Jonathan, Jenny, Heather, a goth named Raven, two wise-cracking jocks named Lewis Parker and Zack Bueller, and other juniors and seniors are seated. Tony's at the blackboard, writing. We can see Bill of Rights up there already and Tony is now adding The First Amendment. He turns and faces the class.)
TONY: Now, can anyone tell me the text of the First Amendment?
LEWIS: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ox?
ZACK: I thought it was the neighbor's ass. (Other students laugh.)
TONY: (trying to get control of the situation) No, I think you're thinking of the Ten Commandments. (He underlines the "Am" of "Amendment.") The first ten Amendments to the Constitution are known as the Bill of Rights. The very first one says, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."
HEATHER: Wow, Mr. Micelli, you have that memorized?
TONY: Uh, yeah. Now what I want to focus on today is the part about "abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press." What do you think that means? (No one looks like they want to answer.) Jonathan?
JONATHAN: (reluctantly) Well, the government can't tell you what to say or write.
TONY: Very good. But there are some exceptions. Can anyone think of any?
JENNY: Well, yelling "fire" in a crowded theater. Unless there really is a fire.
TONY: Right. That's an example of "false statements of fact," which are not protected.
RAVEN: Oh, like advertising. (Jonathan and Tony look offended.)
TONY: Well, advertising might be a little exaggerated sometimes but—
RAVEN: It's all a bunch of lies. All television is. And magazines. Except some zines.
TONY: Well, thank you, Raven. The media are protected to some degree, but the question is whether they're claiming to speak the truth. Of course, this can be tricky, especially in the case of satire and parody. (Some of the students give him blank looks.) Like when a magazine, movie, or TV show makes fun of something or someone.
LEWIS: Like Saturday Night Live?
HEATHER: Is that still on?
TONY: Yes on both counts. Now, even if the government doesn't put restrictions on speech or the press, that doesn't mean there might not be consequences. Can you think of any other examples that might not be protected?
ZACK: Porn? (The class reacts, some in amusement, some in disgust.)
TONY: Uh, yeah, that's similar to obscenity, which is unprotected.
LEWIS: What if you use condoms? (Tony looks embarrassed, and then relieved when the class dismissal bell rings.)
TONY: OK, tomorrow we'll discuss the right to petition the government.
RAVEN: What about religion? As a Pagan—
TONY: We'll get to that, Raven. (The class starts to file out.) Ay, Jonathan, can I talk to you?
JONATHAN: Yes, Mr. Micelli. (Tony shakes his head. He waits till the room is otherwise empty before he speaks.)
TONY: Did you feel like I was singling you out?
JONATHAN: Well, yeah. You didn't call on anyone else by name.
TONY: I'm sorry. I'm still trying to find a balance for this. I mean, I can't just ignore you, can I?
JONATHAN: Well, no, but it's not like I had my hand up.
TONY: OK, I'm sorry. It's just you're one of the brightest kids in the class.
JONATHAN: That's not saying much.
TONY: Jonathan!
JONATHAN: Look, can we talk about this later? I've got to get over to the studio to help Hank.
TONY: Oh, that's right. Today's the premiere, right?
JONATHAN: Right.
TONY: He showed me the script. It looks funny.
JONATHAN: I hope so. I asked Bonnie to tape it when she's over today, and then I'll watch it with you guys before you have to go to your evening class.
TONY: Sounds good. Have fun!
JONATHAN: Thanks, Mr. Micelli. (Tony shakes his head again.)
Scene II: The Bower-Micelli living room, around 5:15 p.m. that day
(Tony is working on lecture notes for his evening class. Bonnie enters from the kitchen.)
BONNIE: Mr. Micelli, I've made a very simple dinner for everyone, since I know you'll want all want to watch Hank's show over dinner before your night class.
TONY: Good thinking, Bonnie. And please, call me Tony.
BONNIE: But you're Sam's dad! And my boss.
TONY: Yeah, but I'm used to first names for the housekeeper-employer relationship. (Jonathan enters from the kitchen, unnoticed at first.)
BONNIE: OK, um, Tony. Does Mrs. Bower, I mean Mrs. Micelli—I mean, does your wife want me to call her Angela?
TONY: You can check with her, but it should be OK. And Mrs. Robinson should be fine with you calling her Mona.
BONNIE: Oh, I've almost always done that. She doesn't seem like a real adult. (Tony chuckles.)
JONATHAN: You can call me Mr. Bower if you want.
BONNIE: Oh, Jonathan, you're so funny!
JONATHAN: Thanks.
TONY: So, Jonathan, how did the show go today?
JONATHAN: You'll see as soon as Mom and Grandma get home. (Angela and Mona enter from the front door, in their work outfits. Tony leaps to his feet and goes to them. He helps Angela off with her coat.)
TONY: (to Angela) How was work, Sweetheart?
MONA: Draining, Toots. Are you going to help with my coat?
TONY: Of course. (He does so.)
ANGELA: (going towards the living room) And how was your first day at work, Sweetheart?
BONNIE: It was fun, Angela. (Angela stares at her.)
JONATHAN: I think she meant me. And I had fun, too.
ANGELA: I can't wait to watch the tape!
MONA: (sarcastically of course) Oh, goody, a puppet show!
ANGELA: Mother, try to show a little support and enthusiasm for your grandson. And your step-grandson-in-law.
MONA: (flatly) Go, Team.
TONY: Mona, the show should be really funny. Hank showed me the script, and I laughed a lot.
JONATHAN: Oh, he ended up not doing that script. The producer wanted him to go in another direction.
TONY: Oh.
ANGELA: I'm sure it'll still be wonderful.
Scene III: The same living room, an hour later
(The same five people are sitting in front of the TV, the remains of dinner on the coffee table. Jonathan looks nervous, Tony, Angela, and Mona looked stunned, and Bonnie looks amused. Closing theme song to Hank's show plays.)
JONATHAN: Uh, so what did you think?
BONNIE: It was so cute! Did you do any of the voices?
JONATHAN: Uh, just the mother-in-law's.
ANGELA: Jonathan, I don't sound like that!
MONA: Yes, you do.
JONATHAN: Well, it wasn't meant to be you specifically, Mom.
MONA: Yes, Dear, it's just a coincidence that the Type-A blonde puppet with dark roots has a job as a saleswoman.
BONNIE: And she sells shoes, not advertising.
ANGELA: Oh, thank you, Bonnie. That puts it all in perspective.
JONATHAN: See, what happened was the producer wanted to aim at more of a college-age crowd, rather than little kids. So Hank decided to make it more satirical. With sort of a Married with Children touch.
ANGELA: That explains the man-chasing, red-haired grandmother puppet with cleavage.
MONA: I prefer to think of her as friendly.
JONATHAN: So he took a few details here and there from people he knows.
TONY: Yeah? I noticed there was no puppet based on you.
JONATHAN: Well, with only two of us working the puppets, there was only so much he could do in the pilot.
BONNIE: Well, I hope he puts a puppet based on me in the next episode. (The adults all look at her like she's crazy. Cut to opening credits.)
Scene IV: Tony's college classroom, later that evening
(Most of the students are seated already. Tony comes in, hoping no one will mention Hank's show, but they just greet him like normal. Tony goes to his desk and looks around. He notices Sam isn't there yet. But it's time to start class.)
TONY: So tonight I had planned to talk about the Bill of Rights, but— (Sam dashes in.)
SAM: Sorry I'm late, Da—Mr. Micelli. I was at the library all afternoon, studying for a final, and then I had to grab a quick dinner at the cafeteria.
TONY: Oh, so you haven't been home yet?
SAM: Uh, no. (She gives him a look like Why are you asking me that, especially in front of everyone? He looks like he wants to tell her about Hank's show but then realizes that this isn't the time or place.)
TONY: (as Sam takes her seat next to her ex-roommate Melinda) So. The Bill of Rights. In your own words, can someone tell me what the First Amendment is about?
BLEACHED BLONDE IN FRONT ROW: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."
TONY: Uh, yeah, more or less. Thank you, Stacy.
BLONDE/STACY: You're welcome, Mr. Micelli.
TONY: So, looking at the part about religion—
MELINDA: Can we talk about freedom of speech and the press?
TONY: Uh, well, I hadn't really planned to cover that tonight—
MELINDA: Well, it's just that my roommate Jill and I had an argument about this new show we were watching.
TONY: I don't know if this is really the appropriate—
MELINDA: See, the characters are clearly based on real people and she's fine with that. She says anything is fair game for comedy. But I actually know some of the people who inspired it, and I feel really uncomfortable about it.
SAM: No offense, but that's kind of narrow-minded of you.
GUY FROM THE BACK OF THE ROOM: Yeah, Melinda, are you advocating censorship?
MELINDA: Of course not. I just don't think it's right to parody ordinary people. It's different for celebrities. They put themselves in the public eye anyway.
GUY FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM: Yeah, what if these people find out and get offended? They could sue the writers and producers. Maybe even the network!
TONY: So, in the 18th century, America had already faced some religious crises—
SAM: Why are some people so eager to sue? And maybe these people will be flattered. Maybe they'll have a sense of humor about it.
MELINDA: Oh? What if there was a character named Pam who had an overprotective father named Toby? Would you think that was funny?
SAM: Um, are they Italian?
MELINDA: Yeah, hypothetically, let's say they are.
SAM: Well, if the show is funny, then, no, I wouldn't be offended. Um, hypothetically.
GUY SITTING NEXT TO SAM: Oh, are you guys talking about that new puppet show on FUN? It's hilarious! (Class starts talking excitedly about the show. Sam starts to look worried. Tony gives her a sympathetic look.)
Scene V: The Harpers' living room
(Bonnie is trying to do her homework, but Hank keeps interrupting her.)
HANK: And then what did Mona think of it?
BONNIE: She seemed to like it.
HANK: And Angela?
BONNIE: Well, she said something about calling her lawyer, but I think she was just kidding.
HANK: Oh. (Al enters from the kitchen, eating an apple.)
AL: Ay, how's it goin'?
HANK: OK, I guess.
AL: Didn't you start your cable show today?
HANK: Uh, yeah. Didn't you watch?
AL: Naw, I was at the bank, talking about getting a loan for my new salon.
HANK: Oh. (Sam enters the front door, furious.) Um, hi, Darling.
SAM: I need to talk to you in the bedroom.
AL: (oblivious to Sam's mood) I thought with you two outa the house more, we'd finally get some peace and quiet for a change. (Sam storms upstairs. Hank reluctantly follows.)
Scene VI: Sam & Hank's bedroom
(We can see some of the items from Sam's adolescent bedroom, as well as items of Hank's, like a poster of his hero Jim Henson. Sam is pacing, while Hank sits on the edge of the bed. We catch her in mid-rant.)
SAM: …My whole family! I noticed you didn't put your parents in the show.
HANK: I haven't finished the character design for my dad. And I'm still working on my mom's voice. And it wasn't your whole family. I didn't put Jonathan's puppet on yet.
SAM: How could you do this?
HANK: Well, I told you already, the producer wanted to go after a different audience.
SAM: But why not make celebrity puppets?
HANK: It's been done, Sam. D.C. Follies in the US a few years ago, and Spitting Image has been on in England for years.
SAM: Couldn't you have just made up characters? You've got a good imagination.
HANK: Well, I had a time crunch. And I'll probably phase these out once the show catches on and I have more of a budget.
SAM: Yeah? And what if everybody loves Pam, Toby, Angelica, and what was the man-hungry grandmother's name?
HANK: (mumbling) Rona.
SAM: I take it back, you're not that creative.
HANK: (starting to get offended) Now, just a minute, Sam—
SAM: And you dragged poor Jonathan into this mess as your assistant.
HANK: Jonathan loves doing the show!
SAM: I bet he won't enjoy it so much when you introduce "Jonah."
HANK: (mumbling) Nathan.
SAM: Brilliant! How did you come up with that?
HANK: Sam, I can see why you're upset—
SAM: And I guess Al and Bonnie—oh, sorry, Ollie and Connie—are going to be on there by the end of the week, right?
HANK: (becoming defiant) What if they are? I have a right to make the show however I want.
SAM: But this isn't what you want! You had a perfectly fine kids' show, until your producer interfered.
HANK: Well, maybe he was right!
SAM: Right? Did he tell you to make a mockery of our friends and family? Or was that your idea?
HANK: It's just some harmless satire. And you haven't even seen the show yet, have you?
SAM: I don't think I want to.
HANK: Then you can't condemn it.
SAM: I can condemn how it makes Angela and everyone feel.
HANK: I can't believe how close-minded you are! (He storms out.)
SAM: (yelling after him) I can't believe how insensitive you are!
Scene VII: Tony & Angela's bedroom, about ten minutes later
(Tony is pacing, while Angela sits on the edge of the bed. We catch him in mid-rant.)
TONY: …My whole classroom!
ANGELA: Tony, I'm not happy about the show, but maybe some good will come out of this.
TONY: Like what?
ANGELA: Well, it'll help Hank's career.
TONY: By making fun of all of us?
ANGELA: Maybe Mother's right. Maybe we just have to have a good sense of humor about it. And maybe you could, maybe you could show it to your classes, as an example of free speech.
TONY: I've already wasted enough valuable class time on it.
ANGELA: What if we talk to Hank, reason with him? And who knows? Maybe we'll come around to his point of view.
TONY: I don't feel like a calm discussion on modern— (He halts in his pacing, over by the door to the hallway.) Did you hear something?
ANGELA: I don't think so.
TONY: Angela, where's my bat?
ANGELA: In your old bedroom. (whispering) Do you think it's prowlers?
TONY: Why are you whispering?
ANGELA: (still whispering) So they don't know we're here. (He shakes his head.)
TONY: I'll just pretend it's Hank and I won't need a weapon.
ANGELA: Be careful, Tony! (He cautiously opens the door. She gets to her feet and follows him. He makes a "stay back" gesture, so she keeps her distance.)
Scene VIII: The hallway, a moment later
(Tony emerges from the bedroom, Angela a little behind him.)
TONY: (whispering) There's a light on in Sam's room!
ANGELA: (whispering) Why are you whispering?
TONY: (still whispering) The element of surprise. (Sam's door opens and Hank emerges. He, Tony, and Angela scream.) What are you doing here?
HANK: I had a fight with Sam.
TONY: You don't go home to the in-laws. That's not how it works. Especially when you made fun of the in-laws on local television.
HANK: It's late and you guys are closer. And I didn't want to have to explain to my parents.
TONY: Oh, gonna wait till you make fun of them, huh?
ANGELA: (putting her hand on his arm) Tony.
HANK: And I didn't mean to hurt anybody's feelings. Things just got out of hand.
ANGELA: We understand. Now go tell Sam.
HANK: (shaking his head) Not after she insulted my creativity!
TONY: Artists, sheesh!
ANGELA: OK, Hank, you can sleep on our couch.
TONY: Why can't he sleep on his own couch?
HANK: Because now Al and Bonnie are mad at me for not putting them on the show yet.
TONY: (grumpily) Great.
HANK: Please, can't I sleep up here? Sam's old bed is more comfortable than the couch.
ANGELA: No! (They both look at her.) Tony and I get hardly any privacy these days.
HANK: Oh, right. I understand. I'll go downstairs. (He heads down the hallway.)
TONY: (whispering) Angela! Shouldn't we be trying to get him out of our house?
ANGELA: (whispering back) Oh, don't worry. I think we can drive him out.
TONY: (grinning as he gets it) Lady, I like the way you think. (She giggles and goes back into the bedroom. He follows and is about to close the door behind them, then thinks better of it.)
Scene IX: Angela's office at the Bower Agency, the next morning
(Angela is at her desk, looking over a portfolio. She yawns as if she didn't get enough sleep the night before. Mona enters and closes the door behind her.)
MONA: Well, Dear, I heard you had quite a night.
ANGELA: (blushing a little) Oh, uh, did Hank tell you?
MONA: No, I mean I heard you. From over in my apartment.
ANGELA: (blushing more) Oh, yes, Tony and I were a little loud last night. Sorry, Mother.
MONA: Oh, I don't mind. I'm glad something's finally happening in that bedroom. But aren't you worried it's going to end up on Hank's show?
ANGELA: He wouldn't! Not even on cable! Would he?
MONA: I don't know. But I'm not bringing home any dates till he's cancelled.
ANGELA: Is that what you came in here to tell me?
MONA: No, I thought you might like to know that your eleven o'clock appointment is an hour early. Do you want to see him? Or do you want to take a nap first?
ANGELA: No, send him in. (Mona nods and exits.)
MONA: (offscreen) Ms. Bower will see you now. (Noah Vanderhoff, an overweight, balding, middle-aged man, played by Brian Doyle-Murray, enters. Angela gets up and shakes his hand.)
ANGELA: Mr. Vanderhoff, I'm so pleased to finally meet you in person.
MR. VANDERHOFF: Likewise, Ms. Bower. Let me ask you something, do you have children?
ANGELA: Uh, yes, I have a sixteen-year-old son and a twenty-year-old stepdaughter. (She hesitates as if wondering whether to mention that she's in her fourth month of pregnancy.)
MR. V: Great! And do they play videogames?
ANGELA: Yes, sometimes. My son more than my stepdaughter, but she's busy with college.
MR. V: That's what I want to talk to you about.
ANGELA: About my stepdaughter?
MR. V: All the college kids.
ANGELA: Uh, I thought you were in meat-packing.
MR. V: I was. Vanderhoff's Hooves and Lips.
ANGELA: (gesturing at the portfolio on her desk) Oh. Well, I drew up a campaign for hooves. And lips.
MR. V: I guess my secretary forgot to send out the letter. Well, anyway, I'm into videogames now.
ANGELA: Oh.
MR. V: I've got a Noah's Arcade franchise in Chicago, Illinois, but I'm thinking of branching out to the East Coast.
ANGELA: Well, I'm afraid I'm going to need some time to refocus the campaign.
MR. V: Of course. I understand. Meanwhile, I want you to meet me at a TV studio this afternoon.
ANGELA: A TV studio?
MR. V: Yeah, up in Connecticut. There's this local cable show, brand new, but my sources tell me there's already a buzz about it, especially with college kids. And that's the market I'm after. The teens will always go to video arcades, but then they hit nineteen or twenty, like your stepdaughter, and then they think they're too grown-up for it. But if I can sponsor this show—
ANGELA: (trying not to show her worries) Can you tell me a little more about the show?
MR. V: Well, I haven't seen it yet, but it's supposed to be hip and cutting-edge and very funny. And get this, it's a puppet show!
ANGELA: Wow, that's different.
Scene X: The FUN studio, on the soundstage of Hank's show, that afternoon
(Hank and Jonathan are getting things set up for the show.)
JONATHAN: Are you sure about this, Hank?
HANK: Yeah, this is something I need to do.
JONATHAN: Well, maybe if you explain to Sam and Tony and— (As Angela enters with Mr. Vanderhoff.) Mom!
MR. V: (to Angela) Your son works here?
ANGELA: Yes, actually—
JONATHAN: Mom, before you yell at Hank or sic your lawyer on him—
MR. V: Lawyer? And who's Hank?
ANGELA: Hank is my very talented stepson-in-law.
HANK: (surprised) I am? I mean, yes, I am.
ANGELA: Hank Thomopoulos, I'd like you to meet Noah Vanderhoff, the owner of Noah's Arcade. (Hank eagerly comes over, forgetting that he has the Little Tony puppet on his right hand.)
HANK: Wow, I've heard good things about your arcades from friends in the Midwest! It's an honor to meet you. (He holds out his hand to shake. Mr. Vanderhoff looks surprised to see Little Tony, but then shakes Hank's hand anyway.)
MR. V: (chuckling) This kid is funny! I like that.
HANK: Thank you, Sir.
ANGELA: Hank, Mr. Vanderhoff is interested in sponsoring your show.
HANK: Wow, really?
JONATHAN: Does he need a sponsor on local-access cable?
MR. V: You're thinking too small, Kid. If this show is as hot as my sources tell me it'll be, it could go national! Maybe even international.
HANK: I don't know if I want— (They're interrupted by a man of about 30, with granny-style sunglasses, mutton chops, a soul patch, a T-shirt for a nonexistent rock band, a leather jacket, ripped acid-washed jeans, and the top of his shoulder-length hair covered by a backwards baseball cap.)
MAN: Excuse me.
HANK: Oh, this is my producer. Duncan Finch.
DUNCAN: (shaking hands with Vanderhoff and then Angela) Good to meet you. So you're the Hankster's mother-in-law?
ANGELA: Uh, yes.
DUNCAN: I just wanna say you and the whole family have been great about supporting this artistic endeavor.
ANGELA: Well.
HANK: Actually, Mr. Finch—
DUNCAN: Hey, come on, Mr. Finch is my dad. I'm Duncan, remember?
HANK: Yeah, sorry, Duncan. I'm thinking of pulling back on the satire and edginess.
MR. V: Satire? That doesn't sell.
DUNCAN: No, this is '90s satire. America is tired of celebrities. They want ordinary people. Only exaggerated of course.
MR. V: Oh, well, that's OK then.
DUNCAN: Mr. Vanderhoff, you need to understand. The characters may be designed by the Hankster. But FUN owns the show. So if you're talking national, or international—
HANK: Yeah, but the problem is, I've hurt some people I really care about. And greater exposure would just hurt them more.
DUNCAN: Hank, dude, you don't know what you're saying!
ANGELA: Hank, if this is important to you—
JONATHAN: Can I say something?
HANK: Not now, Jonathan!
JONATHAN: I just thought you might like to know it's almost airtime. And since it's a live show— (Hank dashes back to the stage and the cameraman starts doing the countdown.)
Scene XI: The Bower-Micelli living room, that same afternoon
(Tony is again is working on lecture notes for his evening class. Bonnie enters from the kitchen.)
BONNIE: Uh, Tony, should I tape Hank's show again? Or should I skip it today? (Tony sighs.)
TONY: I may as well know the worst. It may be the big topic in class tonight. It was at Fairfield High.
BONNIE: Do you want to watch it as it tapes? Or should we wait for Jonathan, Angela, and Mona to get home?
TONY: I'd rather not watch it in front of Jonathan.
BONNIE: (confused) OK. (She turns on the TV and VCR, programming the latter. Al enters from the back door.)
AL: Ay, did I miss the show?
TONY: If you mean Hank's show, no, not yet. And why are you watching it over here?
AL: I hate watchin' TV alone. And Sam refuses to watch it. And Bonnie's over here. (They all settle in. The theme song starts playing. Sam enters from the back door.)
SAM: Did I miss anything?
TONY: I thought you weren't gonna watch.
SAM: I don't want to but it's driving me crazy. I have to know the worst. (He nods. She sits next to him, and he puts an arm protectively around her, like she's still his little girl.)
BONNIE: Oo, there's the Connie character he promised. And look, Al, he gave her a pompadour like I asked.
AL: That ain't a very good pompadour. He shoulda had me design it. (We see Hank's show playing on the television. The camera is in tight on the set, which is just a painted backdrop of a forest. The "Connie" puppet looks like an exaggerated version of Shana Lane-Block, with her overbite, but her brown hair made into a clumsy pompadour. Jonathan is singing a silly tune in falsetto. A puppet who looks like an exaggerated version of Hank appears.)
"CONNIE": Hi, Frank, how are you?
"FRANK": (Hank imitating himself) Not too good, Connie.
"CONNIE": Oh, Frank, what's wrong?
"FRANK": Well, I'm afraid that my new job is making Pam and her family unhappy. (The "Ollie" puppet pops up.)
"OLLIE": (voiced by Hank to sound like Al) Ay, at least it's good money, right?
"CONNIE": But, Ollie— (Cut back to the living room. Bonnie hits the remote and turns off the TV.
BONNIE: I can't take anymore!
AL: Yeah, this show is real low-budget. I mean, I'm know it's local cable, but still.
BONNIE: It's not that. I can't stand how Jonathan was doing my voice. (Tony and Sam just look at her. Cut to commercial.)
Scene XI: Angela & Tony's bedroom, that night
(They're curled up in bed, talking over the day together.)
ANGELA: …And Mr. Vanderhoff and Mr. Finch both loved the show today! Mr. Finch thought it was "wonderfully post-modern," and Mr. Vanderhoff is convinced college kids will love it.
TONY: Yeah, it was the big topic in class tonight. And it'll probably be the big topic at the high school again, too.
ANGELA: Well, at least Hank didn't put in Toby and Angelica being a little too noisy last night.
TONY: Well, it ain't the Playboy Channel. (She laughs and then they kiss. She sighs happily and then wearily.)
ANGELA: Still, I kind of hope Hank's show doesn't go national. Or international.
TONY: Well, we survived another show with a guy named Hank.
ANGELA: Oh, God, Hank the Housekeeper! I forgot about that.
TONY: Luckily, so did the rest of America.
ANGELA: (imitating an actress trying to do an upper-crust accent) "Hank, how could you barge in on me when I'm taking a bubble bath?"
TONY: (doing an actor's exaggerated Brooklyn accent) "Andrea, I swear, all I saw were your bubbles!" (They both laugh, then kiss again.) Ay, Angela, you wanna see my puppet show?
ANGELA: Does it involve Little Tony?
TONY: You could say that. (Roll end credits.)