TV Guide capsule for Saturday, Nov. 21, 1992:
9 PM Who's the Boss?—Comedy
Angela's pregnancy affects her new food account.
Scene I: The Bower-Micelli living room, early evening
(Tony is preparing for his night class. Angela comes home from work. Now in her fifth month, she's starting to show a little, although her clothes are less revealing than in recent years, if not as modest as in the first two or three seasons. As always, Tony lights up when he sees her. He leaps to his feet to greet her. They kiss warmly and sweetly. Then he frowns.)
TONY: Uh, Angela, your breath is a little—
ANGELA: Oh, yes, I was sampling a new product from one of my clients. It's a condiment made from hot sauce and mayo.
TONY: Oh.
ANGELA: The company is called Opposites Attract.
TONY: (smiling) I like the name.
ANGELA: (smiling back) Me, too. They come up with weird food combinations, but they're having trouble marketing them, so that's where I come in. I brought home some samples for everyone to try.
TONY: (no longer smiling) Great.
BONNIE: (entering from the kitchen) Oh, hi, Angela—It is OK I call you that, isn't it, Mrs. Bower? I mean Mrs. Micelli.
ANGELA: Yes, it's fine, Bonnie.
BONNIE: I just wanted to let you and Tony know that dinner is almost done.
ANGELA: Wonderful! You didn't make dessert, did you?
BONNIE: No, I'm sorry, I ran out of time.
ANGELA: (tapping her briefcase) Good, I've got a little surprise. (Tony looks worried. Bonnie is unfazed as usual.)
Scene II: The Bower-Micelli kitchen, about half an hour later
(Angela, Tony, Mona, Jonathan, and Bonnie are sitting around the table, having just finished dinner. Ad-libs about what a good dinner it was. Then Angela gets to her feet.)
ANGELA: (going to the fridge) And I've got the pièce de résistance to finish it off.
MONA: (aside to Tony) If she made it, it will finish us off.
TONY: (aside to Mona) You're gonna wish she made it.
ANGELA: (taking out something in Tupperware) Did you say something?
TONY: Just that I can't wait to see what you've got for us.
ANGELA: (taking the cover off) Voilà! (They all look at it.)
JONATHAN: Um, Mom, what is that?
ANGELA: It's a lime Jell-O mold with tuna and pepperoni slices! Doesn't that sound yummy?
JONATHAN: Yeah, if we were all pregnant.
MONA: I was pregnant in the '50s and I wouldn't eat it when it was a Good Housekeeping recipe.
BONNIE: (getting to her feet) And I'm on a diet. And I've got to study for an exam. (She flees out to the driveway and presumably next door.)
ANGELA: Tony?
TONY: (trying to be a supportive husband) I can't wait to try it. (Angela smiles and sets it on the table. Then she goes to get something to cut and serve it with.)
MONA: (whispering to Jonathan) Quick, let's make a break for it while we can! (Tony puts his hand on her arm and shakes his head. She sighs and stays seated. Jonathan gives her a sympathetic look. Angela returns to the table with the utensils, which she hands to Tony. He cuts himself a small piece of the Jell-O. He slowly moves it towards his mouth, Angela watching eagerly, while Mona and Jonathan act like they shouldn't watch but they can't help it. Tony self-consciously puts the piece in his mouth and chews.)
ANGELA: Well? (He nods and tries to smile while chewing.)
MONA: It's OK to swallow, Tony. (He shoots her an annoyed look, but he does swallow.)
TONY: It's, it's unique.
ANGELA: Let me try some!
JONATHAN: Eat all you want, Mom. Don't worry about us. (Angela sits down again and Tony cuts her off a slightly larger piece than his. He puts it on her plate and she takes a bite. She murmurs appreciatively.)
ANGELA: Wow, this is great! You two, you need to try it!
MONA: Sorry, but I—I have a date. (She exits quickly to outside. We hear her car start up.)
ANGELA: Jonathan?
JONATHAN: I feel weird even watching this. And I have homework. (He exits through the swinging door.)
ANGELA: (shrugging) Oh, well, more for me. (She cuts herself another slice.) Tony?
TONY: Sorry, Babe, night class. (He moves in to kiss her goodbye, but doesn't want to deal with her breath, so he kisses her forehead. Then he goes outside. Angela keeps blissfully eating the Jell-O.)
Scene III: The Bower Agency meeting room, the next day
(Angela and her staff are gathered around the table, with samples of the OA product line in front of them. Angela's former rival Shirley Grant, played by Rita Wilson, now works for her.)
ANGELA: So you've all had an opportunity to try the client's product. What do you think? (Everyone looks reluctant to answer.) Jack?
JACK: Well, I had the (he checks his notes) the honey and ketchup spread, on cornbread. It was, well, different.
ANGELA: Mmm, that sounds great! (Jack cuts her slice of cornbread and hands her the spread. She puts it on thickly and takes a bite.) This is amazing! You all have to try this.
SHIRLEY: Oh, gee, I'd love to but I'm vegan.
ANGELA: You are? Since when?
SHIRLEY: Since we got this account.
STAN: And I'm allergic to corn.
NEAL: Ketchup makes me break out.
ANGELA: What is the matter with you people? I hired you because you're adventurous, imaginative! How can you be afraid of food?
JACK: Well, we're not sure this stuff technically counts as food. (The others nod.)
ANGELA: It is food, wonderful food!
STAN: Angela, I don't know how to say this without sounding sexist—
SHIRLEY: I'll say it. Angela, maybe your pregnancy hormones are playing havoc with your taste buds.
ANGELA: Oh, really? For your information, my husband said he loved the tuna & pepperoni Jell-O.
NEAL: Maybe he didn't want to sleep on the couch. (The others nod. Mona enters.)
MONA: Sorry to interrupt the brainstorming, Angela, but Mr. Oswald, the President of Opposite Attracts, would like to meet with you this afternoon.
ANGELA: Tell him I'll be happy to meet with him. (Mona nods and exits.) I can do this campaign by myself, without the support of my so-called support staff. (Silent reaction from her staff. Roll opening credits.)
Scene IV: Angela's office, that afternoon
(Angela is working quickly at her campaign for Opposites A. Mona enters.)
MONA: Are you ready?
ANGELA: Just about.
MONA: Dear, maybe there are just some things you can't sell.
ANGELA: I can sell anything, Mother! I'm the best!
MONA: All right then. Should I send in Mr. Oswald?
ANGELA: Yes, go ahead. (She straightens her portfolios as Mona exits and then ushers in Mr. Oswald, closing the door behind him. Mr. Oswald is a young man played by Diedrich Bader, later of The Drew Carey Show. He crosses over to Angela's desk and shakes her hand.)
MR. OSWALD: It's good to finally meet you in person, Ms. Bower. I've heard such good things about your agency.
ANGELA: Well, thank you. And I've not only heard good things about your company, but I've tasted the good things you make.
MR. O: (surprised) You liked them?
ANGELA: No, I loved them!
MR. O: (uncertainly) Oh, well, good. I thought you would.
ANGELA: In fact, I believe in your food so much that I've asked someone to meet you here and try your products with no preparation. Of the person, not the food. (She laughs. He uneasily joins in.)
MR. O: I don't know if that's a good idea—
ANGELA: (into the intercom) Mother, can you send in the blind taste-test volunteer?
MONA: If I have to.
ANGELA: Ha ha, my secretary has a wonderful sense of humor. Yes, send her in. (Mona opens the door again and this time ushers in a blindfolded Paula Abdul.)
MR. O: (as Mona guides Paula to a chair) Is that who I think it is?
ANGELA: Who better as a spokeswoman for Opposite Attracts?
PAULA: (waving) Hi, Everybody.
ANGELA: Now, Ms. Abdul has agreed to try your food sight unseen and give her honest opinion on it, although I'm sure she'll love it as much as I do.
MONA: (aside) If she's pregnant.
MR. O: Um, I don't know about this. I mean, if she wants to sing in the commercial, that's great, but as for a taste-test—
PAULA: Hey, it sounds like fun.
MONA: I'll get the barf bag.
ANGELA: Moth—Mrs. Robinson, please. OK, now, Ms. Abdul, here is the first sample. (She hands over a plate with a finger sandwich on it. Paula takes the plate and feels for the sandwich, then lifts it to her mouth.)
PAULA: (chewing) I'm tasting— (She swallows a little.) Sorry to talk with my mouth full.
ANGELA: It's all right. Go on.
PAULA: It tastes like peanut butter and— (She takes another bite.) And maple syrup. OK, interesting. And— (She gags.) Are there tomatoes in there?
ANGELA: (gleefully) Yes!
PAULA: (whipping off the blindfold) Is this some sick practical joke? Are you people trying to poison me with this crap?
MR. O: Poison? Crap? If anyone's the victim of a practical joke here, it's me! You'll be hearing from my lawyer, Bower! (He storms out.)
PAULA: And you'll be hearing from my doctor.
MONA: Come with me. I'll take you to the nearest restroom. (She escorts Paula out. Angela looks like she's going to burst into tears, but instead she slams the door and then starts gorging on the remaining samples.)
Scene V: Tony and Angela's bedroom, that night
(Angela is in bed, crying, eating Guacamunchies and Crunchy Crawlers, the latter right out of the box, and drinking Le Fizz. Her hair is in ponytails and she's in a long flannel nightgown. Tony enters, dressed for the night class he's returning from)
TONY: Baby? Are you all right?
ANGELA: (with mouth full and still crying) No! (Tony kicks off his shoes and crawls into bed beside her.)
TONY: (taking her into his arms) I'm sorry I wasn't here when you got home, but I had basketball practice right after football practice.
ANGELA: I'm glad one of us has a stable job. Well, two jobs in your case.
TONY: Sweetheart, Mona told me what happened, but this is just a setback.
ANGELA: I alienated my latest client and a pop star!
TONY: It could happen to anyone. And you can win them back.
ANGELA: (shaking her head) Maybe I'm losing my touch since getting pregnant.
TONY: So it's my fault?
ANGELA: No, that's not what I'm saying. But maybe hormones are distorting my sense of reality.
TONY: No, just your sense of taste. (She glares at him.) I mean, how things taste. Didn't you have weird cravings when you were pregnant with Jonathan?
ANGELA: (blushing) Not food cravings.
TONY: What then? (She whispers in his ear. He grins, obviously turned on.) Yeah?
ANGELA: But I'm not craving that right now.
TONY: (taking off his jacket and loosening his tie) I think I can make it much more appealing than Crunchy Crawlers. (He gently pulls the food and drink away from her.)
ANGELA: Tony, I need my comfort food!
TONY: Let me comfort you, Angela. (He says it in such a sweet yet sexy way that she nods and smiles.)
Scene VI
(Montage, set to k.d. lang's "Constant Craving," of Angela cheering on the various teams Tony coaches, as she eats a bunch of refreshments.)
Scene VII: The Micelli-Bower living room, Thanksgiving
(Tony, Mona, Sam, Hank, Jonathan, Al, Bonnie, Mrs. Rossini, and Hank's parents, Joe and Fran, are gathered together in the living room, waiting for dinner to be ready and watching a football game. Angela comes out of the kitchen, carrying potato chips and Cheez Whiz. Fran goes over to her.)
FRAN: So Joe and I finally saw Hank's puppet show.
ANGELA: (warily) Oh, what did you think, Fran?
FRAN: Well, we're biased of course, but we think it's hilarious! Especially the cranky fat puppet and his wife with the weird voice.
ANGELA: Ah, yes, Moe and Nan. (The phone rings. Angela takes off an earring and answers the phone.) What? (The others react loudly to the game.) I'm sorry, I'll have to take this in the other room. (to Fran) Can you hang up in here for me?
FRAN: Of course, Angela. (She waits as Angela exits to the kitchen and then apparently picks up in there. Then the doorbell rings. Since the others are absorbed in the game, Fran hangs up and goes to the front door. She opens it to Paula Abdul.) Hey, I know you! You're that singer. Janet Jackson, right?
PAULA: No, sorry.
FRAN: La Toya? Rebbie?
PAULA: No, not a Jackson. I'm Paula Abdul. (This gets Jonathan's attention and he looks over at her.)
JONATHAN: Oh, wow, it is Paula Abdul! (He turns down the volume and leaps to his feet.) Ms. Abdul, it's an honor to meet you! And please forgive my mom. She's being driven crazy by pregnancy hormones.
TONY: Jonathan!
PAULA: No, it's fine, I understand. I'm sorry to bother you all at Thanksgiving, but I need to talk to Ms. Bower. (Angela enters from the kitchen, looking stunned. Paula goes to her.) Ms. Bower, I want to thank you for the gift basket.
ANGELA: Gift basket?
PAULA: Yes, with all the Opposite Attracts food in it.
ANGELA: But I didn't— (Mona coughs as a hint. Angela starts to put pieces together.) Uh, I didn't know how you would react to it, after our meeting last week.
PAULA: Well, normally I would've thrown it out, or sent it back. But your note was so sweet.
ANGELA: Ah, yes, my note.
PAULA: (to the room at large) She said she'd read in a gossip column that I had the flu and had to cancel a concert. She thought I might enjoy some weird comfort food. And the thing is, I did. My taste buds were completely altered. And it all tasted great!
ANGELA: Well, good.
PAULA: So if you're still going ahead with the ad campaign, I'll be happy to do it.
ANGELA: Thank you very much. I'll, I'll be in touch.
PAULA: Great! Oh, and congratulations on the baby.
ANGELA: Thank you.
JONATHAN: Ms. Abdul, do you want to join us for Thanksgiving? We've got plenty of food.
PAULA: Aw, that's sweet of you, but I'm spending the rest of the day with my family. (She looks at her watch.) In fact, I've got to get going. Happy holidays, Everyone! (They all say goodbye and she exits, closing the door behind her.)
TONY: Congratulations, Baby!
ANGELA: Thank you, Tony, but I've still got to win back Mr. Oswald.
TONY: Well, I guess you can't send him a gift basket of his own food, but maybe you could— (The doorbell rings. Angela answers it. Mr. Oswald is there, with a gift basket.)
ANGELA: (surprised) Mr. Oswald!
MR. O: I just want to thank you for not being offended by how I reacted to your taste-test. I understand now what you were doing. And this gift basket idea is genius!
ANGELA: Oh, well, thank you.
MR. O: (handing over the basket) I want you to have this one. And best of luck with your pregnancy.
ANGELA: Thank you very much.
MR. O: I can see it now, "Paula Abdul says Opposites Attract is sick!"
MONA: I don't know how she comes up with these.
MR. O: It's fresh, it's funny, it's fantastic!
ANGELA: Please, I didn't—
MONA: She's so modest.
MR. O: I'll be in touch on Monday. Have a good holiday weekend.
ANGELA: (still confused) You, too. (He exits and closes the door behind him.)
JOE: I don't get what's going on here.
BONNIE: Oh, I do! (They all look at her.)
JOE: You do?
BONNIE: You know, "sick." Like "bad." It means "cool."
MONA: Yeah, get with it.
ANGELA: Mother, you set all this up, didn't you? The campaign, the gift baskets?
MONA: Well, you were my original inspiration. But I still expect a Christmas bonus.
HANK: Oh, I get it. Pregnancy affects your taste buds, and so does being sick. So you'll sell that weird food to people who are sick or pregnant.
MONA: Who better to appreciate it?
MRS. ROSSINI: This is wonderful, Angela! Maybe you can have even more advertising success now that you're eating for two.
ANGELA: Three actually. (They all stare at her.)
SAM: Twins? You and Dad are having twins?
ANGELA: Yes. The phone call a little while ago, that was my obstetrician. Tony and I agreed we didn't want to do an ultrasound since we want to be surprised on whether it'll be a boy or a girl. But I was concerned about my food cravings, whether they were stronger than normal. My doctor said they're fine, but she did want me to know I'm expecting twins. (Now that it's sunk in, Tony is no longer stunned and he leaps to his feet, runs to her, and grabs her in a big hug.)
TONY: Baby, we're having two babies?
ANGELA: Uh huh. Just like you used to want. I hope you still want them. I do, now that I've had a chance to get used to the idea.
TONY: You kiddin' me? This is the best news ever! Now we really have something to be thankful for! (Almost everyone ad-libs congratulations.)
JONATHAN: (confused) But, Mom, how can they be sure this early? You're only in your third month, right?
AL: Ain't it the fifth month? (Bonnie hits his arm.) Well, that's what you told me. (Cut to commercial.)
Scene VIII: Tony and Angela's bedroom, that night
(The camera starts on the lit fireplace.)
TONY: (offscreen) Man, I'm stuffed! I can't eat another bite.
ANGELA: (also offscreen) You, Mrs. Rossini, Fran, and Bonnie really outdid yourselves.
TONY: Thanks, Sweetheart. I could tell you enjoyed it.
ANGELA: I hope I didn't overindulge.
TONY: Ay, it's Thanksgiving. And you had more excuse than anyone.
ANGELA: Well, thank you. The thing is, I've still got room for dessert.
TONY: Yeah, what were you thinking of having?
ANGELA: (seductively) I'd like to try your favorite cheesecake with Italian sausage.
TONY: Mmm, that does sound like a winning combination. (Cut to them in bed, literally eating cheesecake with Italian sausage. They feed each other and make a mess. They laugh and kiss. Roll closing credits.)