TV Guide capsule for Saturday, Dec. 19, 1992:
9 PM Who's the Boss?—Comedy
In the sixth month of pregnancy, Angela dreams of a future Christmas.
Scene I: The Bower-Micelli living room, Christmas Eve
(Angela and Sam are decorating the room, although there's not yet a tree.)
SAM: Wow, I just realized how much has happened since last Christmas!
ANGELA: Yes, Tony and I hadn't been engaged very long a year ago.
SAM: And I wasn't even dating Hank. And now look at us, two old married ladies! (Angela laughs and they hug.)
ANGELA: And a year from now….
SAM: I'll be almost done with college!
ANGELA: (trying to not be annoyed with Sam's self-centeredness) And you'll have little brothers or sisters.
SAM: Right. That still hasn't fully sunk in, that you and Dad are gonna have twins.
ANGELA: (letting go and straightening up so that we can clearly see she's in her sixth month) Well, it's sunk in for me.
SAM: And you guys still don't know the sexes?
ANGELA: We want to be surprised. I mean, I'm glad I know it's twins. I wouldn't want that much of a surprise.
SAM: Are you going to use gender-neutral colors in the nursery?
ANGELA: The nursery?
SAM: Yeah, you know, the room where babies sleep?
ANGELA: (realizing) Believe it or not, we've been so busy and things have been so crazy these last few months, we haven't even discussed the nursery.
SAM: (amused) Are you sure you guys have done this before?
ANGELA: Yes, but we're out of practice. Would you mind if we turned your room into the nursery?
SAM: Ay, I'm an old married lady, I don't need the room anymore.
ANGELA: Thank you, Sam. (Mona enters with several sprigs of mistletoe and a stepladder.)
MONA: OK, where should I hang the mistletoe?
SAM: Somewhere that Hank can find it.
ANGELA: And Tony.
MONA: (amused) Newlyweds. (She starts hanging it up.) So where are those husbands of yours?
SAM: Dad took the guys out to chop down a Christmas tree.
ANGELA: We wanted to go but he said it was a male-bonding thing.
MONA: I bet they all look cute in their lumberjack outfits. (The three women laugh. Bonnie enters with a tray of Christmas cookies.)
ANGELA: Mmm, Bonnie, those look delicious!
BONNIE: Thanks, I used Tony's recipe. (Angela grabs a handful.)
ANGELA: (with her mouth full) Mmm, they're just as good as Tony's! (She grabs more.)
BONNIE: (apologetically to Sam and Mona) Um, I can bake some more. (She exits.)
ANGELA: (still with her mouth full) Sorry.
MONA: (to Sam) Aren't you glad you weren't really pregnant a couple months ago?
ANGELA: Mother!
SAM: Oh, I don't know. I mean, it is too soon. But someday, yeah, I'd like a bunch of kids.
MONA: (descending the stepladder) A bunch?
SAM: Yeah. Well, I am Italian.
MONA: I wanted a lot, too, when I was your age, but things didn't work out that way. (Angela meets her eyes and they remember their conversation in the hospital. Angela gives her a quick hug.) I just got one little angel.
SAM: (puzzled) Uh, Mona, did you put something in your eggnog?
MONA: Sorry. I got one little repressed Type-A angel.
SAM: That's more like it.
MONA: It was sort of fun being able to eat like a pig when I was pregnant.
ANGELA: Mother!
MONA: The other thing I remember was that late in the second trimester, I got sleepy all the time.
SAM: (as Angela yawns) Yeah?
MONA: Yes, it's different for every woman, but that was when I really wanted to go to bed. Even by myself.
SAM: (amused) Mona!
MONA: (as Angela looks sleepier and sleepier) It was before it got really hard to find a comfortable position to lie down in, and there was nothing I liked better than getting under the covers and taking a nap. Especially in the wintertime.
SAM: You make it sound real nice.
MONA: It was. Just me and my baby, very cozy. Until the heartburn kicked in of course. (Sam laughs. Then they both notice that Angela is about to fall over.)
SAM: Angela, are you OK?
ANGELA: (sleepily) Hm, what?
MONA: Dear, I think it's naptime.
ANGELA: (like a little girl) But I wanted to see the tree.
MONA: We'll wake you when the tree's here.
SAM: Can you make it upstairs OK?
ANGELA: Of course I can. (She tries to head towards the stairs and stumbles. Mona and Sam look at each other and nod. Then they go to Angela and each take an arm, helping her walk.)
Scene II: Unknown setting and time
(Close-up on Angela's unconscious face.)
TONY: (offscreen) Ay, are you all right?
ANGELA: Where am I?
TONY: Rockefeller Center. (Angela's eyes open and then the shot cuts to the lighting of the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. Angela closes her eyes and passes out. Roll opening credits.)
Scene III: Initially unknown setting, sometime later
(Another close-up on Angela's unconscious face.)
TONY: (offscreen) OK, wake up. We're home now.
ANGELA: Home?
TONY: Well, my home. I don't know where you live. (Angela opens her eyes and looks around.)
ANGELA: Am I in the back of a van? (Tony opens the side door.)
TONY: You like it? I've had it about thirty years now and it still runs OK, most of the time.
ANGELA: It's the nicest van I've ever been kidnapped in.
TONY: Ay-oh, oh-ay! Kidnapped?! I just couldn't leave you lying on the ground so I figured I'd take you someplace safe till you get your memory back.
ANGELA: My memory?
TONY: Yeah, is anything coming back to you?
ANGELA: I—why does my head hurt?
TONY: Oh, that's from the shoe.
ANGELA: Someone kicked me?
TONY: Not exactly. I mean, there was kicking involved but at a distance.
ANGELA: I don't understand.
TONY: Well, you were standing near the stage and one of the Rockettes did one of those high kicks, you know? (He demonstrates.)
ANGELA: Yes?
TONY: And, well, her shoe flew off. Hit you right in the head!
ANGELA: (putting her hand to her head) Oh.
TONY: And you didn't seem to be with anyone, but you didn't want me to call a doctor. So I didn't know what else to do.
ANGELA: So you took a complete stranger home?
TONY: Well, yeah. I mean, it's not like it sounds. I mean, I've got a family and everything.
ANGELA: So why weren't they with you at Rockefeller Center?
TONY: I'm the only one who cares about the tree-lighting. Everybody else thinks it's boring.
ANGELA: Oh. Well, I live in Connecticut, so—
TONY: (excitedly) Oo, Connecticut! Now what town?
ANGELA: Um, I'm not sure.
TONY: OK, we're still making progress here. Do you remember your name?
ANGELA: Yes, it's Angela. Something.
TONY: (smiling and holding out his hand) Well, Angela Something, I'm Tony Micelli.
ANGELA: (shaking his hand) It's nice to meet you, Mr. Micelli.
TONY: You, too, Ms. Something. (She laughs. Then they both notice they're still holding hands.) Uh, let me help you out of the van. You're probably still a little shaky.
ANGELA: Thank you. (She gets out of the van, still holding his hand. In the better light, we can see that they're both dressed for winter, he more like the Tony of '84 than of '92, although they both look about fifteen years older than in Season Nine. They're on a nice tree-lined street, not suburban, but somewhere in New York.) Where are we?
TONY: Brooklyn.
ANGELA: So a tree does grow in Brooklyn.
TONY: Yeah, we've got a few.
ANGELA: I didn't know Brooklyn was so pretty.
TONY: Well, depends on the neighborhood. I grew up on Pitkin Avenue, which was great in some ways, but pretty rough. I wanted something nicer for my kids.
ANGELA: You have kids?
TONY: Yeah, a few. (The front door of one of the houses opens and a pack of kids of all ages run out and ambush Tony.)
ANGELA: This is a few?
TONY: Well, these aren't all my kids.
ANGELA: Oh?
TONY: Some of them are my grandkids.
ANGELA: Oh.
Scene IV: Tony's living room, soon after
(A woman with graying black hair has her back turned to the camera as she cleans. Some of the kids rush in the front door.)
MATTY: Grandma, Grandpa brought some strange lady home! (The woman turns and we see it's Gina, who's about 20 years older than the last time we saw her.)
GINA: Matty, I told you not to make up crazy stories!
ANNA: It's true, Grandma, she was in his van.
NICKY: Here they come! (Tony enters with Angela and the rest of the kids.)
TONY: Honey, I'm home.
GINA: I see that. And who's this?
TONY, JR.: He picked her up in New York. (Tony, Sr. makes a slapping motion in the direction of his teenaged son.) Well, that's what you said!
ANGELA: Hi, I'm Angela—And, well, it's a long story, but I think I have amnesia, and your husband was kind enough to look after me.
GINA: Yeah, he's all heart. (Sam enters, heavily pregnant and arguing with a girl of about 18.)
SAM: No, Maria, you're too young and that's final!
MARIA: But, Ma!
ANGELA: That's your daughter? But you don't look even 40!
SAM: I'm 37. What's it to you?
ANGELA: Nothing. It's just—Well, I have teenagers myself and—
TONY: You do?
ANGELA: I think so. And you have to let them live their lives. Go to parties. Get their ears and maybe other parts pierced.
SAM: It ain't her ears I'm worried about!
MARIA: Ma, you were my age when you got married.
SAM: Yeah, and look how that turned out.
TONY: Ay, ay, not in front of company!
SAM: I'm sorry, Mrs.—
TONY: She doesn't have a last name.
SAM: Like Cher?
TONY: No, like an amnesia victim. (Al enters from the kitchen.)
AL: Ay, where's my supper?
SAM: Sorry, Honey. What with our oldest daughter wanting to throw her life away on some bum, and Dad dragging home amnesia victims, it slipped my mind.
AL: Maybe you got amnesia.
ANGELA: (to Tony) Excuse me, does all your family live here?
TONY: Ay, we're Italian. But, no, a couple of my other daughters live with their husbands. In their own homes.
AL: Ay, excuse me for not bringing in the big bucks like Joe Rossini, Jr., or—
GINA: I'll make the supper.
TONY: Uh, you want some help, Sweetheart?
GINA: Very funny, Tony. I assume your guest is staying.
ANGELA: If it's all right.
TONY: You kiddin'? Gina makes enough to feed an army. (Angela looks around at all the kids and grandkids and nods as if she can see why.)
Scene V: The dining room, dinnertime
(Tony's family is crowded around the dinner table, talking loudly and grabbing food. Gina is waiting on Tony like a servant, and he seems to take it for granted. Angela looks very uncomfortable and overwhelmed.)
AL: So you don't remember nothin' about yourself, except your first name, your home state, and maybe your kids?
ANGELA: I, well, maybe if I could find someplace quiet so I could think.
AL: Good luck with that around here.
SAM: Yeah, Al ain't done no thinkin' since the late '80s.
AL: You're a riot, Sammy.
ANGELA: (getting up) Excuse me, I just need to get some fresh air. (She gets up and goes outside. No one notices but Tony.)
Scene VI: The backyard, a couple minutes later
(Angela is shivering a little because it's December and she went outside without her coat. Tony comes out, carrying her coat.)
TONY: Ay, I thought you might need this.
ANGELA: Thank you. (He helps her put it on, then steps away from her.)
TONY: I'm sorry about all the craziness.
ANGELA: No, it's fine. Under other circumstances I might enjoy it.
TONY: Hey, I was thinkin'. You must have ID or somethin' in your purse, right?
ANGELA: Of course! Why didn't I think of that?
TONY: Well, you can't be expected to remember everything.
ANGELA: Or anything. (They chuckle together.)
TONY: I didn't want to rummage through there myself, but I can bring it out to you, and you can look. And if there's something with your address inside, then I'll take you home.
ANGELA: All the way to Connecticut?
TONY: Well, as long as I'm home by Christmas. (They laugh uncertainly together.)
ANGELA: You're very sweet, you know that?
TONY: Yeah, well. Be right back. (He goes back inside the house. She sighs and snuggles deeper into her coat. He returns with her purse and hands it to her.)
ANGELA: Thank you. (She looks inside and pulls out her ID.) I'm Angela Bower. And, yes, here's my address: 3344 Oak Hills Drive, Fairfield, Connecticut.
TONY: Great! You go wait in the van and I'll tell Gina.
ANGELA: Can I ride up front this time?
TONY: Whatever you like.
Scene VII: The front seat of Tony's van, a few minutes later
(Angela glances at her watch, looks in her purse for more clues, and then glances at her watch again. Then Tony comes out to the van.)
ANGELA: (as he gets into the driver's seat) Is everything all right?
TONY: Yeah, it's fine. (He starts the car.) It's just Gina wanted me to take some of the kids along.
ANGELA: So they could see Connecticut?
TONY: Uh, not exactly.
ANGELA: Well, what exactly?
TONY: Well, you're gonna laugh.
ANGELA: Am I?
TONY: See, Gina is a great wife. Beautiful, loyal, doting, good cook, good mother, the works. But she does get a little jealous sometimes.
ANGELA: I see.
TONY: I mean, I'm faithful, of course. And it's not like you're some young bimbo, right?
ANGELA: Are we at the funny part yet?
TONY: Ay, no offense. You're a very pretty, classy lady. But it's not like you'd have anything to do with a Brooklyn bartender with six kids and six grandkids, right?
ANGELA: You're a bartender?
TONY: Yeah. I mean, I wasn't always.
ANGELA: What were you?
TONY: Believe it or not, I played for the Cards.
ANGELA: In Vegas? Or Atlantic City?
TONY: (amused) No, the St. Louis Cardinals. Baseball?
ANGELA: Oh, right.
TONY: But that was a long time ago, when I was married to Sam's mother.
ANGELA: So Gina is your second wife?
TONY: Yeah, Marie, my first, she, she died when she was young.
ANGELA: I'm sorry.
TONY: Yeah. And then when Sam was thirteen, I got together with Gina. And here we are, twenty-four years later.
ANGELA: Wow, almost a quarter of a century. Makes a girl think.
TONY: (grinning) Some Like It Hot, right?
ANGELA: Right. I love old movies.
TONY: Yeah, me, too. Gina, not so much. Not the comedies anyway.
ANGELA: My husband is the same.
TONY: Yeah, so you remember your husband?
ANGELA: I remember that part. (An awkward silence.)
TONY: So, uh, what do you think is the best route to Fairfield?
ANGELA: Uh, gee, this is not a good time to ask me.
TONY: Right, yeah, sorry. I'll stop at the next gas station and ask for directions.
ANGELA: You ask for directions?
TONY: Why not? I'm secure in my manhood.
Scene VIII: Angela's porch and then living room, an hour and a half later
(Tony walks Angela to her front door. The feeling is like the end of a first date, despite the circumstances.)
ANGELA: Uh, did you want to come in?
TONY: Uh, gee, I don't know. I should probably be heading home. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve and we've got a lot goin' on.
ANGELA: Of course. Well, thank you for everything.
TONY: Ay, no problem. (They look at each other like they want to kiss or at least hug. Instead they shake hands. But they don't let go immediately. Then the door is yanked open and Geoffrey Wells stands there. He looks about twenty years older than the last time we saw him.)
GEOFFREY: Angela, where the hell have you been? And who is this guy? (Tony and Angela let go of each other.)
ANGELA: This is Tony Micelli. Tony, meet my husband, Geoffrey, um, Wells.
TONY: I thought your last name was Bower.
ANGELA: It is. I mean, that's my first married name.
TONY: You were married before?
ANGELA: Yes, to my son's father. I still use "Bower" for business purposes.
TONY: What business?
ANGELA: Some sort of sales.
TONY: Ay, this is great! It's all coming back to you, bit by bit.
GEOFFREY: Angela!
TONY: Hey, Buddy, ease up. She's had a memory loss.
GEOFFREY: (shocked) Angela, have you been drinking?
TONY: No, she just got a little too close to a Rockette. (He and Angela laugh. Geoffrey does not at all look amused.)
GEOFFREY: You're just like your mother!
ANGELA: (desperate for clues) Am I?
MONA: (slurred and offscreen) Is that my wandering angel? Did she find her way home?
ANGELA: Mother? (Mona appears in the doorframe next to Geoffrey. She's pushing 80 and looks older, mostly because she's drunk and slovenly.)
MONA: Little Angela! (She embraces her.)
GEOFFREY: Come inside, before you embarrass us in front of the neighbors. (Mona leads Angela in, still hugging her. Tony uncertainly follows.) I didn't mean you.
ANGELA: No, Geoffrey, you don't understand. Tony is a good Samaritan.
MONA: We gave at the office. (Geoffrey shakes his head but closes the door behind Tony. Mona lets go of Angela and looks at Tony.) Hey, I know you!
TONY: Uh, no, I don't think so.
MONA: Yes, I do! We met twenty-five years ago.
TONY: Well, I am a bartender.
MONA: (shaking her head) No, you weren't back then. You were driving a fish truck.
ANGELA: No, Mother, he played for the St. Louis Cardinals.
GEOFFREY: You're that Tony Micelli?
TONY: Well, yeah.
GEOFFREY: I'm sorry. I just thought you were some random guy bringing my wife home.
ANGELA: (a little indignantly) Oh, so because he's a former athlete, it's OK?
TONY: (to Mona) Hold on, how did you know about the fish truck?
MONA: That's what you told me then. When I suggested you work for Angela.
TONY: Me, work for Angela? I don't even know what she does.
MONA: She's a Vice-President at Wallace and McQuade.
GEOFFREY: (proudly) The twelfth largest advertising agency in the country.
TONY: (impressed) Nice! (to Mona) But I don't know nothin' about advertising.
MONA: (shaking her head) Not working for her there. But here.
TONY: (looking around the living room) Here?
MONA: As her housekeeper. (Geoffrey laughs.)
ANGELA: (to Tony) You'll have to forgive Mother. She gets a little, well, imaginative sometimes.
TONY: You're gonna think this is crazy, but she's right. I remember now! I was trying for a job as her apartment building's super, which I didn't get. But on my way to the interview, I met this lady in the lobby with red hair and a big b—bicycle.
MONA: That was me! (Tony looks like he doesn't want to say that she's really let herself go.)
TONY: OK. Anyway, she said her daughter needed a housekeeper and she suggested I try for it. But I'd never had a job like that before, and I didn't know about moving all the way to Connecticut, so I kind of forgot about it. Until now.
MONA: It's coming back to you, isn't it? I showed you her picture and told you about her cute little boy.
GEOFFREY: Ha!
ANGELA: (defensively) He was a cute little boy. (Jonathan enters from the kitchen, wearing sweats and with a boa constrictor around his neck. Tony lets out a startled scream.) Uh, Tony, this is my son Jonathan.
TONY: We meet at last. (Jonathan mumbles something.) What did he say?
ANGELA: Sorry, he's a little shy with strangers.
GEOFFREY: A little shy?
ANGELA: Geoffrey.
GEOFFREY: Angela, he's 33 and lives in the basement completely surrounded by reptiles.
ANGELA: Well, when the twins insisted on separate rooms—
TONY: (smiling) You got twins? I always wanted twins.
ANGELA: (remembering) Yes, I have two lovely twin daughters. They're—they're 16!
TONY: (rooting her on) All right!
MONA: They're not identical. Well, not exactly. (Two teenaged girls, played by Mayim Bialik and Sara Gilbert, descend the staircase together. Although they don't look much alike, they move at the same time and are dressed in identically frumpy dresses, more suited to old ladies. Mayim's character is named Ada, Sara's is Ara.)
ADA: Mother, what is that tacky van doing out front?
ARA: And who is this man?
ANGELA: (scolding) Ada, Ara— (She breaks off.) Tony, I remember, I remember everything!
TONY: (forgetting himself and giving her a big hug) Angela, that's great! You remember your job and your family and everything!
ANGELA: Not just that! I remember Mother telling me about you, and I said it'd be interesting to have a male housekeeper, but then you never showed up.
TONY: Well, better late than never. (They laugh together. And then they notice her family staring at them and let go.)
ANGELA: I feel dizzy again.
TONY: Here, you'd better lie down. (He leads her over to the couch, making her family stare even more.)
ANGELA: (lying down and closing her eyes) Thank you, Tony. You're so sweet. (Fade-out.)
Scene IX: Angela's bedroom, time initially unknown
(Still another close-up on Angela's unconscious face.)
TONY: (offscreen) Wake up, Baby. Don't you want to see the tree?
ANGELA: Tony? I had the weirdest dream.
TONY: Yeah, what happened? (She opens her eyes and we see that she still looks like she's in her late 50s. Tony looks much older, since he's dressed as Santa Claus. She screams at the sight of him.) Baby, it's OK. It's me!
ANGELA: I'm sorry, Tony, I'm just disoriented.
TONY: Let's go downstairs and I'll show the tree and then you can tell me about your dream.
Scene X: The living room, decorated for Christmas
(Tony is leading Angela downstairs, covering her eyes.)
ANGELA: This reminds me of the prom night you made for me, remember?
TONY: Yeah, I remember. But this is going to be less tropical. (He leads her over to a medium-sized tree.) OK, now you can look.
ANGELA: You and the guys cut this down yourselves?
TONY: You kiddin' me? We haven't done that in ten or fifteen years.
ANGELA: Oh, right. Like I said, I'm a little disoriented.
TONY: Let me refresh your memory. You're Angela Bower-Micelli and I'm your husband Tony. We've known each other twenty-five years but have been married only seventeen because I was a knucklehead.
ANGELA: (smiling) Well, some of the fault was mine.
TONY: Well, it made for an interesting journey.
ANGELA: Tell me more about us.
TONY: Well, you've got a very successful ad agency, and I'm doing what I love best, teaching. Well, what I love second best. (pointing up) Oo, look, mistletoe! (He gives her a very sweet, loving kiss. A little girl of about four, played by Emma Stone, enters from the kitchen and gasps at the sight of them.)
LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I see Grandma kissing Santa Claus! (A boy of about seven, played by Jonathan Halyalkar, enters.)
LITTLE BOY: No, Emma, that's just Grandpa pretending to be Santa Claus. (Tony and Angela stop kissing.)
ANGELA: Billy?
LITTLE BOY: No, I'm Nicky, Grandma, remember? (Sam enters, wearing an edgy but classy business outfit and carrying a baby.)
ANGELA: (going gooey) Oh, a baby!
SAM: (puzzled) Yeah, I told you I'd be bringing little Tony.
TONY: It's his first Christmas! (A buzzing noise.)
SAM: Dad, can you take the baby?
TONY: (doing so) Of course, Sweetheart. (He and Angela coo at the baby, as Sam takes out a futuristic-looking cell phone.)
SAM: (into the phone) Al Baby, how's it goin'? Yeah, I love it! You're beautiful!
ANGELA: She married Al?
NICKY: Grandma, Daddy's name is Hank.
EMMA: That's just agent-talk.
TONY: Remember, Honey? She manages Al's band. And all the other bands at her record company.
ANGELA: Of course.
TONY: (to the baby) Your mommy is a big-shot record producer and your daddy is running the Children's Television Workshop.
ANGELA: Oh, that's so nice! And do they have other kids?
TONY: You really don't remember all this?
ANGELA: My head feels really fuzzy.
TONY: (nodding) Yeah, I don't know what Mona put in the eggnog, and you had more than your share. No, with how busy Sam and Hank are, it took them awhile to have these three.
ANGELA: Of course.
EMMA: Grandpa, why are you pretending to be Santa Claus?
TONY: Well, I'm sort of one Santa's helpers. Do you know any good little boys and girls who want presents tomorrow?
EMMA & NICKY: Me, me! (Tony hands Angela the baby and leads the other two kids over to the couch. He sits down and puts the kids on his knees.)
TONY: Now, Santa's already picked out some presents for you two, but I can let him know if there's anything we missed.
SAM: (covering the phone) Dad, you'll spoil them!
TONY: I'm a grandfather, that's my job. (The doorbell rings.)
TEENAGE GIRLS: (simultaneously and offscreen) I'll get it.
ANGELA: (murmuring) The twins! (The twins, still played by Mayim and Sara, race down the stairs. Mayim/Ada is dressed like her Blossom character, while Sara/Ara is in full goth-Darlene mode. They arrive at the door, Ara slightly ahead of Ada, so she opens the door to Jonathan. He's dressed in geek-chic.)
ARA: Oh, it's you.
JONATHAN: Good to see you, too, Little Sis.
ADA: (giving him a big hug) Jonathan! What did you bring us?
JONATHAN: A surprise. But it's for everyone.
ARA: (sarcastically) Great, I love group presents. (Jonathan laughs and messes up her hair.) Watch it, the black dye isn't dry yet.
TONY: (getting up, with the kids clinging to his legs) Ho ho ho, little Jonathan!
JONATHAN: Hey, Tony.
EMMA: Uncle Jonathan, he's Santa's helper.
JONATHAN: Yeah, I see that. (He comes over and hugs Tony. Then Sam hangs up and there's lots of hugging among everyone, with the baby being passed around until he's back in Angela's arms.)
ANGELA: (to the baby) You have Big Tony's eyes, you know that? (The baby smiles at her, and she sighs happily. Then two teenage boys, played by Josh Charles and Seth Green, enter the open door.)
ADA: Mmm, are those the presents?
ARA: I'm not sharing!
JONATHAN: (putting his arms around the twins) Girls, meet your new step-nephews, Josh and Seth.
ADA: Huh?
ARA: Jonathan, you're our half-brother, not our stepbrother.
JONATHAN: Right. The "step" is from my marriage.
ANGELA: But you're not married? (to Tony) Is he?
TONY: Not that I know of. (A woman who's also dressed geek-chic enters. She's played by Emma Thompson.)
WOMAN: Well, I paid the bloody cab driver, Jonny, so—
ANGELA: (handing the baby back to Sam) Jonathan, you married an Englishwoman? With two sons?
JONATHAN: Yeah, Great-Grandma introduced us when I was working on that documentary at the BBC this summer.
ANGELA: (to herself) God, it's 2009 and Nanna is still alive!
JONATHAN: Everybody, this is Fiona. Fiona, this is some of everyone.
FIONA: Lovely to meet you all. Where's the loo?
JONATHAN: The closest one is under the stairs.
FIONA: (blowing him a kiss) Thank you, Darling! (She races to the bathroom.)
JOSH: Mom gets carsick.
SETH: And airsick.
ADA: You two both sound American.
JOSH: Yeah, our dad was American.
ANGELA: Was?
SETH: Yeah, Mom is a widow.
ANGELA: Oh, how sad! Tony was a widower and I'm divorced.
JOSH: Yeah, we know.
SETH: You two were both afraid of commitment because Tony lost his wonderful wife and you still were bitter over Jonathan's father.
ANGELA: How is it they know all this and we've never heard of them?
JONATHAN: (shrugging) It was a long flight.
ANGELA: Other than Hank, is everyone here now?
TONY: Well, Mona went to pick up her date.
ANGELA: (smiling) Of course. Who's she seeing these days?
TONY: Who can keep track anymore? (Everyone laughs. Mona enters on the arm of Harrison Ford. He looks 50, as he would be in 1992, while she also hasn't aged a bit.)
MONA: Hello, increasingly extended family!
ANGELA: Mother, you look wonderful!
HARRISON: (smitten) She does, doesn't she?
ANGELA: (as Fiona reemerges from the bathroom) You all look wonderful. I'm the luckiest woman in the world!
ADA: You're so corny, Mom.
ARA: If she says "God bless us, Everyone," I'm leaving.
TONY: (sitting on the couch and pulling Angela into his lap) So, Little Girl, you don't want anything else for Christmas? (Angela blushes and then whispers something to Tony, who grins.) Let's wait till Christmas morning, OK, Honey-Bunny?
FIONA: (embracing her husband) I see what you mean, Jonny. Still at it like knives. (Angela blushes more. Tony kisses her cheek. Cut to commercial.)
Scene XI: Angela's bedroom, time initially unknown
(One last close-up on Angela's unconscious face.)
TONY: (offscreen) Wake up, Baby. Don't you want to see the tree? (Angela opens her eyes and sees Tony as he looks in '92.)
ANGELA: Wow, you look really good for your age!
TONY: Uh, thanks, you, too. (Angela looks at her stomach and sees she's pregnant.)
ANGELA: Oh. Is this still 1992?
TONY: Yeah, for another week. You didn't sleep that long!
ANGELA: Tony, we need to talk about the twins.
TONY: Our twins?
ANGELA: Yes. I have a feeling they might both be girls. How would you feel about that?
TONY: Well, you know, I always wanted a son, but I've got Jonathan. And I'm sure I'd love our daughters as much as I love Sam.
ANGELA: Thank you. (She kisses his cheek.)
TONY: But what's this feeling based on?
ANGELA: Strange dreams.
TONY: Well, you can't go by that. Marie dreamed the craziest things when she was pregnant.
ANGELA: (nodding) I did, too, when I was pregnant with Jonathan.
TONY: So what were these dreams about?
ANGELA: I'll tell you later. First, you show me your tree, and I'll show you the mistletoe. (He grins. Roll closing credits.)