TV Guide capsule for Saturday, Feb. 27, 1993:
9 PM Who's the Boss?—Comedy
Bonnie has to decide whom to attend the Valentine's dance with.
Scene I: The Harpers' kitchen, mid-afternoon on Saturday the 13th
(Sam is wearing Hank's pajama top and looking through the fridge, trying to find something that won't require cooking. She sighs and takes out something in Tupperware. She puts it in the microwave. She turns around just as Bonnie enters through the back door.)
SAM: Hey, welcome back. Where have you been all day?
BONNIE: Oh, just hanging out.
SAM: Where? You didn't take your car.
BONNIE: Oh, right. Well, I'm trying to walk more, for my health.
SAM: Oh. Have you had lunch yet?
BONNIE: Yeah, I had some pizza. But I can make you and Hank something if you want.
SAM: No, that's OK. We can manage. (The microwave beeps. Sam looks in.) I'll give it another couple minutes. (She turns around to face Bonnie again.) So where did you go?
BONNIE: Oh, over to Julia's.
SAM: That's quite a walk.
BONNIE: Well, that's why I was gone so long.
SAM: Oh. So are you guys doing the dance tonight?
BONNIE: Yes. It, it should be fun.
SAM: What are you wearing?
BONNIE: Oh, I don't know. Maybe something red or pink.
SAM: Both of you or just you?
BONNIE: Um, just me. I think Julia is wearing blue. You know, because of her red hair.
SAM: Well, you tell Bonnie that Mona wears red all the time and she looks gorgeous.
BONNIE: I'll tell her.
SAM: Do you want me to help you with your hair and makeup tonight? Since Al isn't around.
BONNIE: Oh, you don't have to do that.
SAM: Well, you've been so sweet about clearing out of here to give me and Hank privacy. I want to repay you somehow.
BONNIE: Oh, well, if you want. But the dance isn't for another few hours.
SAM: I'll do something simple that'll be easy to maintain.
HANK: (wearing his pajama bottoms and entering through the swinging door) Hey, Sam, aren't you coming back to bed? Oh, hi, Bonnie.
BONNIE: Hi, Hank. Don't worry, I'll be going soon.
SAM: Not before I get you ready for the dance!
HANK: Uh, how long is this going to take?
SAM: Not long.
Scene II: Bonnie's room, three hours later
(Bonnie is wearing a slip and sitting with her back to the audience, as Sam, who's wearing a robe over the pajamas, faces her and puts on the last touches of makeup.)
HANK: (offscreen) Sam, how much longer?
SAM: Almost done.
HANK: Well, I'm ordering Chinese. Do you want some, Bonnie?
SAM: Hank, that would mess up her makeup.
HANK: Oh, what was I thinking?
BONNIE: It's OK. I'm still pretty full from the pizza.
SAM: Are you going to be able to fit into your pink dress?
BONNIE: I hope so.
SAM: Good, because you look really cute in that.
BONNIE: Thank you.
SAM: You know, we should do this more often. It's like having a kid sister, or playing with my Darby doll.
BONNIE: Um, thank you.
SAM: I don't really get dressed up too often anymore, now that I'm an old married lady. I mean, I love Hank and I love being married, but there are times when I miss the fun of being single.
BONNIE: The fun?
SAM: You know, going to parties and dances, the excitement of flirting and wondering when you'll meet Mr. Right. Enjoy it while you can.
BONNIE: I'm trying.
SAM: And who knows? Maybe you'll meet someone tonight.
BONNIE: Maybe.
SAM: After all, you look fantastic, if I do say so myself.
BONNIE: Thank you. And thank you for doing this.
SAM: You're welcome. Can you try on the pink dress just so I can see the full effect?
BONNIE: You're not going to take pictures like my dad did on Prom Night, are you?
SAM: No, I'd only do that if a date were picking you up and I could embarrass you.
BONNIE: Good thing I'm going stag. (They both laugh.)
HANK: (still offscreen) Sam, do you want pot stickers?
SAM: Hold on! (to Bonnie) Come show us when you're ready.
BONNIE: OK. (Sam exits. Bonnie turns around and we can see that Sam has made her face up very elaborately, with her hair in an upsweep. Bonnie looks in the mirror and sighs, but not at her sophisticated beauty. She whispers to herself.) You can't do this to her. She's your best friend. You can't date her kid brother. You can't keep sneaking around with him. And you can't go to the dance with him. But I want to! (She puts her hand to her face and we can see that Sam has also painted Bonnie's nails. Bonnie carefully wipes away a tear, trying not to smudge her makeup.)
Scene II: The Harpers' living room, a few minutes later
(Sam and Hank are sitting on the couch, both wearing robes.)
HANK: Kitty-cat, I know she's your best friend, but that's three hours out of our weekend.
SAM: Yeah, but she'll probably come home very late.
HANK: Or not at all?
SAM: Well, yeah, she could sleep over at Julia's.
HANK: Or elsewhere?
SAM: Well, Bonnie isn't the type to sleep with a guy she just met. Although there was this one time in Fort Lauderdale, when she almost fell for this guy with a smooth line.
HANK: Almost?
SAM: Well, I was looking out for her.
HANK: You're a good mother, Sam.
SAM: Thanks. (They kiss. Bonnie descends the stairs, looking lovely in a sleeveless pink dress with an Empire waist and a beaded bodice. Hank and Bonnie stop kissing and look at her.) Wow, Bonnie, you look great!
HANK: You do. You'll definitely pick up a guy tonight.
SAM: Hank!
HANK: I mean if you want to.
BONNIE: Well, I'm just going to have a fun time. Dancing I mean.
SAM: Of course. Uh, are you sleeping over at Julia's?
BONNIE: Um, I haven't decided yet.
SAM: Well, maybe you should take your car. It is February after all, and you don't want to walk all the way over there and back, whether you're coming back tonight or tomorrow morning.
BONNIE: Uh, yeah, good point. Well, in that case, I'll go get an overnight bag, just in case I do stay over. And I can change out of this dress and keep it fresh for tonight. (She goes back upstairs.)
HANK: Well, that looks promising. At the least, she'll be gone till the dance is over.
SAM: I do feel a little guilty about kicking her out so much this weekend.
HANK: Guilty enough to not encourage her to go to the dance?
SAM: After all my work on her? Are you kiddin' me? (They kiss again.)
Scene III: Julia's apartment, about fifteen minutes later
(Julia is watching a romantic comedy on the VCR, and alternately laughing and crying. The doorbell rings. She pauses the movie and goes to the door, opening it to Bonnie, who's wearing a winter coat over a T-shirt and jeans but with her makeup and hairdo intact. She's got her overnight bag.)
JULIA: Oh, I'm sorry, but I don't buy cosmetics from door-to-door salesladies. I have very sensitive skin.
BONNIE: Julia, it's me, Bonnie.
JULIA: Oh, wow, it is you! What happened?
BONNIE: Well, Sam gave me a makeover.
JULIA: That was nice of her.
BONNIE: Yeah.
JULIA: So how's that working out for you? Living with her and her husband and that guy from Brooklyn.
BONNIE: It's been nice. I mean, it was nice living with you, too. But I like living in a house.
JULIA: Uh huh.
BONNIE: Uh, how are things going with your new roommate?
JULIA: Jasmine? She's never home. She's always at her boyfriend's. And of course with this being Valentine's weekend, well.
BONNIE: Yeah.
JULIA: Hey, do you want to watch a movie with me?
BONNIE: What is it?
JULIA: It's called Oh, Sorry, My Mistake. It's a rom-com about mistaken identities.
BONNIE: Sounds good. Um, and later, maybe we could go to the Valentine's dance on campus.
JULIA: Without dates?
BONNIE: Sure, why not? Friends can go to dances together. We did in middle school.
JULIA: Well, that might be more fun than sitting around here. And we might meet some cute guys.
BONNIE: You never know.
JULIA: Well, then I guess I'd better shower.
BONNIE: That would be a good idea.
JULIA: Come on in and make yourself at home.
BONNIE: Thanks. Uh, can I use your phone?
JULIA: Sure. Go ahead. (She exits to the bathroom as Bonnie comes into the living room and sets down her bag. Bonnie waits till she hears the water running before she picks up the phone and punches in the number.)
BONNIE: (whispering) Please pick up. (The scene switches to Jonathan in his living room, watching a sci-fi movie on the VCR. He pauses the movie and leaps to his feet to answer the ringing phone.)
JONATHAN: Hello?
BONNIE: (in alternating shots) Jonathan, it's me.
JONATHAN: Bonnie? What happened to you? You said it would just be a few minutes, and it's been hours!
BONNIE: It's a long story. Listen, I'm going to the dance with Julia.
JONATHAN: (disappointed) Oh. Listen, I'm sorry I was so clingy before—
BONNIE: Jonathan, it's OK. Just meet me at the dance and I'll explain everything.
JONATHAN: You want me to show up at a college dance, by myself?
BONNIE: Well, couldn't you go with a friend?
JONATHAN: The only college-age friends I have are you and Sam.
BONNIE: I meant one of your friends from high school.
JONATHAN: That would be worse than going by myself.
BONNIE: Please, Jonathan.
JONATHAN: OK, I'll go, for you. But I can't wait to hear your explanation.
BONNIE: See you in a few hours.
JONATHAN: Yeah, see you. (They hang up.) I guess I'll have some of the leftover pizza for dinner and then figure out what I'm going to wear. And do I get her a corsage when we're not technically going to the dance together? I've never gone to a dance by myself. Hm, maybe I don't have to. (He picks up the phone again and punches in a number.) Hello? Hi, it's Jonathan. Yeah, fine. Um, so I know this is short notice, but I was wondering, since you're at Ridgemont, would you like to go to the Valentine's dance with me tonight? No, no, as friends! You would? Great! OK, I'll pick you up at 8. (He hangs up and nods in satisfaction. Then he goes into the kitchen, brings back the pizza box, and unpauses the movie.)
Scene IV: The Ridgemont Valentine's dance, that night
(Bonnie and Julia enter the room, the latter in a red floor-length, V-neck dress with applique.)
JULIA: Are you sure I look OK in red?
BONNIE: You look wonderful! It's a good thing you and Jasmine are the same size.
JULIA: Yeah, I just hope I don't spill anything on it. And I hope we meet some cute guys tonight. Oo, what about over there? (She points to a short brunet and a taller blond, who have their backs to them and to us.)
BONNIE: Well, they do look cute from behind.
JULIA: Yeah, very cute behinds.
BONNIE: Julia!
JULIA: Come on, let's go over and say hello. (She starts over there, Bonnie reluctantly following. They reach the guys and Julia taps the brunet on the shoulder.) Hi-ee! Happy Valentine's Day! (The brunet turns around and we and they see it's Mason.)
MASON: Well, technically, it's not Valentine's Day for another few hours. But the ancient Romans observed Lupercalia from February 13th through the 15th, although their calendar differed from ours in several—
JULIA: Hey, I know you! You're that college guy Sam was dating years ago!
MASON: Sam Micelli? Well, we weren't technically dating, although there was a time when I saw her as my ideal woman. We're just friends now of course.
JULIA: We're her friends, too. I'm Julia Garfield and this is Bonnie O'Hara.
MASON: (shaking their hands) Hi, I'm Mason Dixon.
JULIA: And who's your friend?
MASON: Well, you must know Jonathan if you know Sam.
JULIA: Jonathan? (The blond reluctantly turns and waves.)
JONATHAN: Hi, Julia. Bonnie.
JULIA: Jonathan, what are you doing at a college dance?
JONATHAN: Uh, well, I'm here with Mason.
MASON: Yeah, he invited me.
JULIA: You mean you two are—?
MASON: No, no, we're here as friends.
JULIA: Oh, like me and Bonnie.
MASON: Yeah. See, Jonathan heard about the dance, I guess from Sam, but since he's still in high school, he felt funny showing up on his own. And since I'm a professor here, he thought I might be going. Which I wasn't. But it sounded like fun, so here we are.
JULIA: Oh. So what do you teach?
MASON: History.
JULIA: Wow, I've never danced with a History professor before!
MASON: Uh, did you just ask me to dance?
JULIA: No, but you're going to ask me, aren't you?
MASON: Uh, yeah, I guess that would be OK, since you're not in any of my classes. (Julia waits expectantly.) Oh, sorry! May I have this dance?
JULIA: I'd love to. Thanks for asking. (They move out onto the dance floor. Bonnie and Jonathan watch them, amused. Then they look at each other.)
JONATHAN: You look amazing!
BONNIE: You look nice, too. (He's wearing a dark blue suit, with a pale blue shirt, and a pink tie.)
JONATHAN: Thank you. How did you get your hair like that with Al gone for the weekend?
BONNIE: Sam did it. And the makeup. And my nails.
JONATHAN: She did a great job. Not that you don't always look great, but, well.
BONNIE: Thank you.
JONATHAN: Is that why you didn't come back?
BONNIE: Partly. And it just snowballed into this thing of me going to the dance with Julia. And, um, Sam seems to want me to sleep over at Julia's. You know, so she and Hank can have more time alone together.
JONATHAN: Oh. Is that OK with Julia?
BONNIE: I haven't asked her yet. But her roommate is away for the weekend, so I could have my old room tonight.
JONATHAN: Oh. Well, that's good. I'm glad everything worked out.
BONNIE: Jonathan—
JONATHAN: No, Bonnie, it's OK. We spent a lot of time together and it was great. I mean, you can't spend the whole weekend with me, right? It's not like we're even dating yet. Valentine's is for established couples. Like Sam and Hank, my mom and Tony, and Grandma and Richard.
BONNIE: Well, yes, but it can also be for couples who are just starting out.
JONATHAN: (smiling again) Yeah?
BONNIE: We didn't have to spend every waking moment together this weekend, but I am really glad you showed up at the dance.
JONATHAN: Well, you know I wanted to see what a college dance was like.
BONNIE: Then maybe we should, you know, dance.
JONATHAN: Are you asking me to dance?
BONNIE: No, but I was hoping you'd ask me.
JONATHAN: Miss O'Hara, may I have the pleasure of this dance?
BONNIE: (curtsying) Yes, you may, Mr. Bower. (They move out onto the dance floor and join in on the Electric Slide. But the next song up is a slow song, Johnny Mathis's "Chances Are." Jonathan and Bonnie communicate with their eyes, he asking if she wants to dance to this, and she agreeing, while Julia and Mason communicate that now's a good time to hit the refreshments table. A montage follows of not just Jonathan and Bonnie, but Sam and Hank, Tony and Angela, and Mona and Richard, slow-dancing to the tune. Dissolve.)
Scene V: The restroom at the Ridgemont Valentine's dance, a couple hours later
(Bonnie and Julia are fixing their hair and makeup in front of the mirror. We can hear the music from the dance floor.)
JULIA: That's really nice of you to dance with Jonathan so much, since he doesn't know that many people at Ridgemont. I'm sure Sam'll appreciate it.
BONNIE: Sam?
JULIA: You know, you being nice to her stepbrother. Not that she's always nice to him.
BONNIE: Right.
JULIA: Sorry I didn't share the burden more, but I've been having so much fun with Mason.
BONNIE: (realizing she's hardly noticed) You have?
JULIA: Yeah. OK, he's really nerdy! I mean, he's a History teacher. It doesn't get much nerdier than that. Unless you're naturally cool like Sam's dad. But Mason is sweet and funny, and he's not like the college guys I've been dating.
BONNIE: Oh?
JULIA: You know, all grabby and trying to get you to go to bed.
BONNIE: Right.
JULIA: I think I'm going to ask Mason to spend the night.
BONNIE: (dropping her eyeliner in the sink) What?
JULIA: Well, we don't have to sleep together. I mean, I sort of just met him. Or re-met him. But it'd be nice to make out on Valentine's Eve, right?
BONNIE: (picking up her eyeliner and not looking at Julia) Right.
JULIA: I'm sorry you didn't meet anyone. Maybe you shouldn't have paid so much attention to Jonathan.
BONNIE: That's OK. I still had fun.
JULIA: Me, too. And I figure Jasmine's gone all weekend, so I'll be alone with Mason.
BONNIE: Right.
JULIA: Of course, we need to work out the car situation.
BONNIE: Car situation?
JULIA: Well, Jonathan drove himself and Mason here, so that's no problem because I can offer Mason a ride, to my place or his. But I drove you and me here in my car, so you're going to have to go pick up your car at my place. Do you want me to give you a lift back to my place?
BONNIE: Uh, since you'll have Mason with you, why don't I just get a ride home from Jonathan, since he lives right next door, and pick up my car from your place tomorrow?
JULIA: OK. That sounds good. And thanks for suggesting going to the dance.
BONNIE: You're welcome.
JULIA: See you on the dance floor.
BONNIE: See you. (Julia exits. Bonnie whispers at her reflection.) And now what are you going to do?
Scene VI: The Micelli-Bower living room, after the dance
(Jonathan and Bonnie enter from the front door. He turns on the light.)
BONNIE: Thanks for the ride back. And understanding about everything.
JONATHAN: Well, I'm still a little confused, but the important thing is we got to dance together.
BONNIE: Right. And thanks for the offer to help you finish off the last of the pizza.
JONATHAN: Well, you paid for half of it. And now you don't have to worry about it messing up your hair and makeup.
BONNIE: Right. Uh, I don't want to get any on my dress though.
JONATHAN: (looking down) Yeah, I don't want to get any on this suit.
BONNIE: Maybe we should take them off.
JONATHAN: (looking up startled) What?
BONNIE: I mean we could change into sweats or something. If you can loan me some.
JONATHAN: Oh, yeah, sure. I'll be back in a minute. (He heads towards the back of the set, to his room, and exits)
BONNIE: (to herself) What am I doing? This is crazy! OK, it's just pizza. I'll have a bit and then go home. I can come back here in the morning, and Sam and Hank will never know I've been there. (She wanders around the living room and then notices the light flashing on the answering machine.) Oh, I hope that's not more problems with Angela's agency. It's kind of late to bother her, but what if it's important? Maybe I'd better play the message. After all, I am the housekeeper, even if I don't work weekends. (She hits the "play" button.)
JENNY: (on recorded message) Jonathan, I was out with Zack tonight and I did something awful! I really need to talk to you. Please call back as soon as possible.
BONNIE: Not this weekend, Jenny! (She hesitates and then hits "erase." Then Jonathan returns wearing pajamas and holding out a pair of sweats.)
JONATHAN: Here. I hope they fit OK.
BONNIE: Well, that's what's nice about sweats, they don't have to be form-fitting.
JONATHAN: Uh, right.
BONNIE: Um, I'll go change.
JONATHAN: I'll reheat the pizza.
BONNIE: Great. (She heads towards the downstairs bathroom while he goes in the kitchen.)
Scene VII: The kitchen, a moment later
(Jonathan is startled to see Tony wearing a winter coat over pajama bottoms and raiding the refrigerator. He gasps, which makes Tony gasp.)
JONATHAN: Tony, what are you doing here?
TONY: Oh, we ran out of food, and this was easier than going to the grocery store.
JONATHAN: Yeah, that's what Grandma always says.
TONY: Did I wake you?
JONATHAN: No, I, uh, just got back from the movies.
TONY: Yeah, I noticed your car was gone for awhile.
JONATHAN: Right. I went with a friend.
TONY: Yeah? I noticed you've been going to movies with "friends" more lately.
JONATHAN: Well, this time it was Mason.
TONY: Mason? Yeah? I always liked that kid. Well, he's not really a kid now I guess. He must be, what, 21?
JONATHAN: I think so, yeah.
TONY: Well, next time you see him, tell him I say hi.
JONATHAN: I will.
TONY: So, uh, as long as I'm here, you want me to make you something you can reheat for breakfast tomorrow? And maybe lunch?
JONATHAN: No, I'll be fine, Tony.
TONY: Yeah? Eatin' that pizza? There'll be nothin' left at the rate you're goin'.
JONATHAN: Uh, Mason had some, too.
TONY: Oh. Well, still. It'll just take a few minutes for me to make something.
JONATHAN: Go back to Mom, Tony. Please.
TONY: OK. Have a good night, Jonathan.
JONATHAN: You, too, Tony. (Tony exits with his "groceries," Jonathan helping him with the door. Then Jonathan shuts the door and goes to the refrigerator to take out the pizza leftovers.)
Scene VII: The living room, a few minutes later
(Jonathan is sitting on the couch and putting the pizza on plates, when Bonnie reenters, dressed in his sweats, but still with the hair and makeup.)
JONATHAN: You look cute.
BONNIE: Thank you. Did I hear you talking to someone just now?
JONATHAN: Yeah, Tony came back to get food from the kitchen.
BONNIE: Oh, that was close!
JONATHAN: Bonnie, we're not doing anything wrong.
BONNIE: I know, but it would be hard to explain what I'm doing here, in your sweats.
JONATHAN: Well, yeah.
BONNIE: Do you think he's coming back?
JONATHAN: No, it's getting late and he and Mom will probably stay away till tomorrow evening, as planned.
BONNIE: Good. I mean, in case I hang out here tomorrow.
JONATHAN: Right. (She sits down and they start eating the pizza.) Bonnie?
BONNIE: Hm?
JONATHAN: So Sam thinks you're sleeping over at Julia's, doesn't she?
BONNIE: Well, I told her I might.
JONATHAN: Um, what if you slept here?
BONNIE: What?
JONATHAN: Not with me! I mean, we haven't even kissed yet. But there are four empty bedrooms upstairs.
BONNIE: Well, yeah. But my overnight bag is at Julia's.
JONATHAN: Well, you can sleep in my sweats. And there's shampoo and everything in the upstairs bathrooms.
BONNIE: So I would sleep here and then what?
JONATHAN: I could drive you over to Julia's tomorrow when you think it's late enough to drive from there to home.
BONNIE: Well, I did tell her you'd take me over there to pick up my car tomorrow. I mean, I figured you would.
JONATHAN: Yeah, no problem.
BONNIE: Well, I guess I could stay here. Upstairs. And then I wouldn't have to sneak in and out next door.
JONATHAN: Right. (They eat pizza for awhile.)
BONNIE: OK. I'll stay.
JONATHAN: (grinning) Yeah?
BONNIE: Yeah. It'll be sort of a slumber party. Even though there are only two of us. And you're a guy. And we're both too old for slumber parties.
JONATHAN: Right. (pause as they eat some more) So what do you want to do now?
BONNIE: Well, we didn't get a chance to watch movies earlier, so let's do that.
JONATHAN: OK.
Scene VIII: The same set, a couple hours later
(The closing theme of a movie is playing. The pizza is long since finished.)
JONATHAN: Well, that was fun. Now what do you want to do?
BONNIE: It's getting kind of late. I should probably go to sleep.
JONATHAN: Which bedroom are you gonna use?
BONNIE: How about yours?
JONATHAN: (surprised) Mine?
BONNIE: I mean your old one, upstairs.
JONATHAN: But Tony moved my bed down to my new room.
BONNIE: Oh. Well, then I guess I'll sleep in Sam's room.
JONATHAN: Tony moved her bed up to the attic when he and Mom turned the room into a nursery.
BONNIE: Oh. Do you think I could sleep in Tony's old room?
JONATHAN: Yeah, that should be OK. (They both stand up.) Do you want me to walk you to your door?
BONNIE: I don't think that's a good idea.
JONATHAN: How about the foot of the stairs?
BONNIE: We could do that. (They stroll over. She takes his hand.) I had a really nice time today. And tonight.
JONATHAN: (looking down at their hands) Me, too.
BONNIE: So I guess I'll see you in the morning.
JONATHAN: (looking at her face again) Yeah.
BONNIE: I'll make you something good for breakfast.
JONATHAN: You don't have to do that. You're not my housekeeper on weekends.
BONNIE: I'd do it as a friend.
JONATHAN: A friend?
BONNIE: Well, yeah. Not just a friend.
JONATHAN: Right. Um, are you still freaked out about the idea of kissing me?
BONNIE: I was never freaked out. It's just an idea I have to get used to.
JONATHAN: Hey, well, we're holding hands. And we danced earlier. That's progress.
BONNIE: Right. (They look at each other and seem about to kiss, but then the phone rings.) Do you want to get that?
JONATHAN: Not particularly. (The phone stops ringing.) I wonder if that's a sign.
BONNIE: Maybe. (They move in for a kiss. It's tentative and sweet. The words "TO BE CONTINUED" appear on the screen, then the closing credits roll.)