TV Guide capsule for Saturday, March 6, 1993:
9 PM Who's the Boss?—Comedy
The conclusion of Valentine's Weekend.
Scene I: The Bower-Micelli living room, where we left off at the end of the previous episode
(Bonnie and Jonathan are still kissing. Then they break away.)
BONNIE: That doesn't usually happen at slumber parties.
JONATHAN: I figured not.
BONNIE: Um, well, goodnight, Jonathan.
JONATHAN: Goodnight, Bonnie. Sweet dreams.
BONNIE: You, too. (She hesitates and then climbs the stairs. She pauses at the balcony and then blows him a kiss. He "catches" it. She smiles and then disappears down the hallway.)
JONATHAN: (quietly) This is the best Valentine's Day ever! And it's only an hour into the 14th. (Roll opening credits.)
Scene II: The kitchen, the next morning
(Bonnie is making breakfast. She's still wearing the sweats but she's washed off her makeup and gone back to her usual hairstyle. Jonathan, wearing his pajamas, enters through the swinging door and smiles.)
JONATHAN: Good morning.
BONNIE: (turning) Good morning. How did you sleep?
JONATHAN: Like a baby. You?
BONNIE: Actually, I tossed and turned.
JONATHAN: Because you're not used to Tony's bed?
BONNIE: That and I felt guilty.
JONATHAN: Bonnie, we didn't do anything wrong. We just had one little kiss.
BONNIE: That was not an ordinary kiss, Jonathan!
JONATHAN: (grinning) Yeah, it was great, wasn't it?
BONNIE: Well, yes, but that's not the point!
JONATHAN: What is the point?
BONNIE: Jonathan, we're alone together in this house, and even though we haven't "done anything wrong," people are going to think that we did.
JONATHAN: What people? No one knows you're here!
BONNIE: What if they found out?
JONATHAN: Bonnie, not that I had or have expectations, but most people in this situation, well, they would've "done something wrong."
BONNIE: That's what I'm saying!
JONATHAN: But my family and friends know me. And they know you. And I don't think they would be all that suspicious.
BONNIE: So should we tell them?
JONATHAN: Are you crazy?
BONNIE: Jonathan, this isn't just about this weekend. What's going to happen if we keep seeing each other? What are we going to tell them? Your mom didn't even approve of Heather Harper, and Heather is your age.
JONATHAN: She likes you a lot more than she likes Heather.
BONNIE: Well, maybe she does now, but what about when she finds out that I'm the evil older seductress who corrupted her little boy? (Jonathan laughs.) It's not funny!
JONATHAN: I'm sorry. Look, we've agreed not to do "certain things" till I'm 18. So there is no seduction, evil or otherwise, going on.
BONNIE: But what about—?
JONATHAN: Let's just take this one step at a time, OK?
BONNIE: I'll try.
JONATHAN: What are you making?
BONNIE: Pancakes. They probably won't be as good as Tony's.
JONATHAN: I'm sure they'll be fine. (looking at them) Aww, you made them into little heart shapes!
BONNIE: Well, yeah, for Valentine's Day.
JONATHAN: That's sweet. Now I wish I'd gotten you candy or flowers or something.
BONNIE: That's OK. Maybe next year. I mean, if we're still going out.
JONATHAN: I hope we are. I'll be 18 then.
BONNIE: Right. (A tense pause, and then someone knocks on the back door.)
JENNY: (offscreen) Jonathan? Are you there?
JONATHAN: (whispering frantically) Quick, hide!
BONNIE: (whispering back) I thought you're not worried about what people think.
JONATHAN: I'm not but this would look bad, you being here so early in the morning.
JENNY: Jonathan? (Bonnie sighs.)
BONNIE: Fine. I'll hide in Tony's room.
JONATHAN: Good idea. (She exits out the swinging door. Jonathan goes to the back door and opens it to Jenny.) Hey, Jenny, what brings you by?
JENNY: Didn't you get my message last night?
JONATHAN: Was that you calling around 1 a.m.? I don't think they left a message.
JENNY: No, this was around 10.
JONATHAN: I didn't see a message on the machine. But it sometimes malfunctions.
JENNY: Oh.
JONATHAN: What were you calling about?
JENNY: Can I sit down?
JONATHAN: Of course. Let me just turn off the stove. (He goes over to the stove.)
JENNY: (not sitting) Oh, did I catch you in the middle of making breakfast? I didn't know you cook.
JONATHAN: Well, not very often, but I'm sort of on my own this weekend.
JENNY: Oh. What are you making?
JONATHAN: Um, pancakes.
JENNY: Oh, can I try one?
JONATHAN: Well, they're not ready yet.
JENNY: (coming over) Oh, they're heart-shaped for Valentine's Day! How cute!
JONATHAN: Yeah, you should see the ones I'm gonna do for Arbor Day. (She laughs and then bursts into tears.) Um, maybe you'd better sit down. (She does. He turns off the stove and sits next to her.) So what's going on?
JENNY: Well, like I said on the message that you didn't hear, I was out with Zack last night and I did something awful!
JONATHAN: Oh. Well, it's easy to get carried away with your emotions sometimes, but it's all part of life, right?
JENNY: Yeah, but this wasn't like me. I mean, at the time I felt like I had to do it, and it felt great. But as soon as I did it, I regretted it.
JONATHAN: Well, not that I've been in a serious relationship, but from what Tony's told me—
JENNY: No, no, you don't understand! I punched Zack in the eye!
JONATHAN: Oh.
JENNY: And you know I'm not a violent person.
JONATHAN: Did he provoke you? I mean, not that I'm condoning what you did but—
JENNY: No, I know it was wrong. But he did provoke me. He said some things that weren't very nice.
JONATHAN: Oh. Well, some guys when they're dating a girl, they get a little crude and—
JENNY: Jonathan, it wasn't about me. It was about you.
JONATHAN: Me?
JENNY: Yes, he, well, he called you gay.
JONATHAN: Gay?
JENNY: Well, he used a not nice word for it.
JONATHAN: Why would he think I'm gay?
JENNY: Well, you've never had a steady girlfriend. And when you had the chance to go out with me or Heather, you chose neither. And you stood up Raven for the Snow Ball. And he doesn't know about you rejecting me when I kissed you on Friday of course, but if he did, that would be more evidence.
JONATHAN: Oh.
JENNY: I mean, I know you said you like another girl. And it's really none of my business, even if you are, I mean were, gay. But I thought you should know, in case he says something at school.
JONATHAN: Is he even going to be in school? How hard did you punch him?
JENNY: Enough to give him a black eye. (Jonathan can't help grinning.) Don't smile about it!
JONATHAN: (trying to frown) Sorry.
JENNY: I'm less worried about whether he'll be in school than whether he can play in the play-offs next week.
JONATHAN: (now not finding it hard to frown) Oh, right, the play-offs.
JENNY: Jonathan, I have to tell Mr. Micelli! Where is he?
JONATHAN: (hesitantly) Well, he and Mom went away for the weekend.
JENNY: Couldn't you call them?
JONATHAN: Can't it wait till they get back? I mean, there's nothing he can do about it right now anyway.
JENNY: I guess you're right. What time will they be back?
JONATHAN: Sometime this evening.
JENNY: OK, I'll come back after dinner.
JONATHAN: Come back?
JENNY: Yes, I want to tell him as soon as possible.
JONATHAN: Um, let me tell him.
JENNY: Are you sure?
JONATHAN: Yeah, I'll just say you had a fight. I don't have to say why.
JENNY: You're so sweet! I mean, not that you're gay or anything.
JONATHAN: Right, thanks.
JENNY: And I won't tell anyone about the pancakes.
JONATHAN: The pancakes? Oh, yeah.
JENNY: Well, I should probably go home now.
JONATHAN: OK.
JENNY: (kissing his cheek) Thanks again, Jonathan. Uh, is that OK? To kiss you on the cheek I mean.
JONATHAN: It's OK. (She hesitates and then leaves. He shakes his head. He goes back to the stove and turns it back on. Then he's about to go get Bonnie, but someone knocks.) That better not be Bueller.
AL: (offscreen) Yo, Jonathan, can I come in?
JONATHAN: Not that Al is much of an improvement. (He nonetheless opens the door to Al.) Good morning, Al.
AL: Ay, it must've been a good morning and a good night, if Jenny Wittener's sneakin' out of here.
JONATHAN: She wasn't sneaking out of here. She just dropped by to say hello.
AL: On Valentine's morning? Sure she did. Don't try to fool me, Jonathan. You two was playin' house.
JONATHAN: Playing house?
AL: Yeah, with your family away for the weekend, you do what any guy would do, sneak a girl in.
JONATHAN: No, Al, really—
AL: (going over to the stove) See? Exhibit B. Heart-shaped pancakes.
JONATHAN: Those aren't hearts. They're diamonds that came out wrong.
AL: Hearts, diamonds, that's still plenty romantic. What I can't figure out is, why'd she leave?
JONATHAN: What I can't figure out is what you're doing here. Aren't you supposed to be in Brooklyn this weekend?
AL: I was. But turns out, all those old girlfriends I was gonna look up? They're all married with kids.
JONATHAN: Already?
AL: Ay, that's Brooklyn. So I ended up bowlin' and drinkin' with the guys, tryin' to get lucky with some new girls, strikin' out, sleepin' on my niece Carmela's couch, and comin' home in the mornin'.
JONATHAN: Al, this isn't your home.
AL: Well, close enough. And I can't go home-home 'cause I promised Sam and Hank I'd give 'em some privacy this weekend. So can I hang out here?
JONATHAN: Here?
AL: Yeah. You don't have to entertain me, or feed me, or nothin'. Well, those pancakes look pretty good.
JONATHAN: Help yourself. But I don't know if you can hang out here all day.
AL: Why? Would I be in your way? You got more girls comin' over?
JONATHAN: Ha ha. Yeah, right.
AL: I'll just watch TV and you do whatever you was gonna do anyway. I don't care.
JONATHAN: Great. In that case— (He starts to head towards the swinging door.)
AL: You got any syrup?
JONATHAN: It's in the fridge.
AL: Thanks. (He waits.)
JONATHAN: What?
AL: Well, you're closer. (Jonathan sighs but gets the syrup out.)
JONATHAN: Here. (He sets it on the table.)
AL: You got anything besides maple? (Jonathan rolls his eyes and exits out the swinging door.) Geez, everyone's so touchy on Valentine's.
Scene III: Tony's old bedroom, a couple minutes later
(Bonnie is sitting on the bed, glancing at her watch. Then someone knocks. She's not sure whether to say anything.)
JONATHAN: (offscreen) Bonnie, it's me.
BONNIE: Oh, come in. (He does, shutting the door behind him.) You were talking to Jenny a long time. (She's trying not to sound jealous.)
JONATHAN: (shaking his head) It wasn't just Jenny. Now Al is here.
BONNIE: Al is here?
JONATHAN: Yeah. In the kitchen. And then he's going to watch TV.
BONNIE: Oh. Why?
JONATHAN: Sort of for the same reason you're here. (She stares at him.) No, not that reason. But to give Sam and Hank privacy.
BONNIE: Oh. That sort of affects our privacy, doesn't it?
JONATHAN: Yeah. So we've got two choices. You either keep hiding up here until Al leaves, and then I can drive you over to Julia's so you can pick up your car and your overnight bag, or I can try to sneak you out now before he goes into the living room.
BONNIE: Well, how long is he staying?
JONATHAN: It sounded like it'll be hours.
BONNIE: Oh. Well, let's try and sneak me out while he's still in the kitchen.
JONATHAN: OK, I'll go first, as a lookout. (She nods.)
Scene IV: The living room, a couple minutes later
(The room is empty. Jonathan cautiously appears on the balcony, like he's a spy. He creeps down the stairs, as Bonnie peers round the wall of the hallway. He gets to the ground floor and looks around. He signals to Bonnie that the coast is clear, so she starts creeping down the stairs. Then Al enters from the kitchen, with a plate of pancakes.)
JONATHAN: (loudly) Hey, Al, are those pancakes going to be enough for you? Do you want to order a pizza?
AL: (as Bonnie sneaks back upstairs) You don't gotta shout. I'm right here.
JONATHAN: Sorry.
AL: Yeah, maybe we can order a pizza later. Like lunchtime.
JONATHAN: Sounds good.
AL: (flopping down on the couch and turning on the TV) You wanna watch anything?
JONATHAN: No, that's OK. Um, I have to do something upstairs.
AL: OK, see ya later. (Jonathan heads back to the stairs.)
Scene V: Tony's old bedroom, a couple minutes later
(Bonnie is again sitting on the bed. Jonathan enters without knocking this time.)
JONATHAN: (shutting the door behind him) Sorry about that.
BONNIE: It's not your fault.
JONATHAN: Well, maybe he'll go to the bathroom later. Or I can send him out to get the pizza instead of having it delivered.
BONNIE: OK. What do you want to do in the meantime? (They both seem to realize they're alone in a bedroom.)
JONATHAN: Um, we could play cards or something.
BONNIE: Uh, OK.
JONATHAN: I've got some in my room. I'll be right back.
BONNIE: OK. (Cut to commercial.)
Scene VI: The same setting, a couple hours later
(Jonathan and Bonnie are playing cards, sitting on the bed.)
JONATHAN: Any sevens?
BONNIE: Go Fish. (She yawns.)
JONATHAN: I'm sorry, this must be boring for you.
BONNIE: No, it's OK.
JONATHAN: Do you want to play Strip Poker instead?
BONNIE: That might be a little too interesting.
JONATHAN: Can I kiss you again?
BONNIE: In bed?
JONATHAN: Do you want to stand up?
BONNIE: That might be safer. (They stand up and then kiss.)
JONATHAN: Bonnie, do I seem gay to you?
BONNIE: Huh?
JONATHAN: Jenny told me that Zack Bueller thinks I'm gay.
BONNIE: Well, he's an idiot. If you were gay, you wouldn't be interested in me, would you?
JONATHAN: Well, he doesn't know that. And maybe there is something wrong with me, that I'm not trying to make you do more this weekend.
BONNIE: Well, there's nothing wrong with being gay. But there's a difference between gay and considerate. And if you were trying to make me do more than I'm comfortable with, I wouldn't like you so much.
JONATHAN: (smiling) Yeah? You really like me?
BONNIE: I really like you.
JONATHAN: I really like you, too, Bonnie.
BONNIE: Then you're probably not gay.
JONATHAN: I guess not.
BONNIE: Is that what Jenny wanted to talk to you about?
JONATHAN: Sort of. She punched Bueller in the eye for talking bad about me. (She grins.) I know, it is pretty cool. But he may not be able to play in the play-offs now.
BONNIE: (no longer grinning) Oh. Should you tell Tony?
JONATHAN: I'm going to wait till he comes home. I'm trying not to bother them now that it's actually Valentine's Day.
BONNIE: See, you're very considerate.
JONATHAN: I guess. Plus, if I go tell him, then he and Mom will just come back early. And we don't want that, do we?
BONNIE: Not really. At least not while I'm hiding up here.
JONATHAN: Yeah.
BONNIE: Thanks for keeping me company.
JONATHAN: My pleasure. (They're about to kiss again.)
AL: (yelling from downstairs) Yo, Jonathan!
JONATHAN: I'll be right back.
Scene VII: The living room, a minute later
(Al is still sitting on the couch. Jonathan comes downstairs.)
JONATHAN: Yeah, Al?
AL: You're outa beer.
JONATHAN: What do you want me to do about it? I'm 17.
AL: Oh, right. I'll go to the store. You want anything?
JONATHAN: Um, how about some spaghetti? I can make that and it'll be a nice welcome-home dinner for Mom and Tony.
AL: OK. I'll even pay for it.
JONATHAN: Thanks, Al.
AL: (grabbing his leather jacket and heading towards the front door) No problem. (He exits.)
JONATHAN: Bonnie, you can come down now! (She emerges onto the balcony.)
BONNIE: I know. I was listening.
JONATHAN: (as she descends the stairs) So do you want to go now?
BONNIE: I probably should.
JONATHAN: OK, here's what you're going to have to do. Leave by the front door, so that Mom and Tony won't see you. Then I'll go out the back door, get my car, and then catch up with you on the way to Julia's.
BONNIE: OK. (She gives him a quick kiss on the cheek.) See you soon. (He helps her put on an overcoat, so it won't be obvious she's wearing sweats. Then she puts on her shoes. She exits out the front door, looking around as if hoping Al or the neighbors won't catch her. Then Jonathan starts heading towards the back door, but the phone rings. He sighs but he decides that it's better to answer it than wonder. So he picks it up.)
JONATHAN: Hello? No, Al stepped out for a moment. May I take a message? (He writes something down.) OK, yes, I'll tell him. (He shakes his head. Then he heads out the back door.)
Scene VIII: The driveway, a moment later
(Jonathan heads towards his car, which is a silver 1983 DeLorean. But Tony descends the stairs from Mona's apartment.)
JONATHAN: Oh, uh, hi, Tony.
TONY: Did I just see Al drive off from here?
JONATHAN: Uh, yeah, he's hanging out here and he went to get groceries.
TONY: He's hanging out with you on Valentine's Day?
JONATHAN: Well, we're not exactly hanging out together. He's just here to give Sam and Hank some privacy.
TONY: Oh. But isn't Bonnie home?
JONATHAN: I think she's over at Julia's this weekend.
TONY: Oh. And where are you off to?
JONATHAN: Me? Oh, I need to, to get a replacement strap for my accordion.
TONY: Oh. Jonathan, is everything OK?
JONATHAN: Yeah, everything's fine. Well, except for my accordion strap. See you tonight. (He gets in his car.)
TONY: Yeah, see ya. (He shakes his head and goes back upstairs.)
Scene IX: The interior of Jonathan's car, parked by Julia's apartment, several minutes later
(Jonathan and Bonnie are sitting in the front seat, talking.)
JONATHAN: ...And that's why it took me so long to catch up with you.
BONNIE: It's OK, it's been that kind of weekend.
JONATHAN: So what do you want to do now?
BONNIE: Well, I could drive home now. It's late enough that Sam and Hank wouldn't think anything of me leaving Julia's.
JONATHAN: Yeah, but it's early enough that they might still expect privacy.
BONNIE: Well, if Al is hanging out at your place, it wouldn't be that weird if I'm hanging out there, too.
JONATHAN: Yeah, you could just be showing up now.
BONNIE: Right.
JONATHAN: I wish we could be alone though.
BONNIE: I think we weren't really ready for that this weekend, and maybe all these interruptions were for the best.
JONATHAN: I guess. Can I kiss you goodbye?
BONNIE: No, what if Julia sees us and tells Sam?
JONATHAN: (sighing) OK. But we are going to have to go public at some point.
BONNIE: Not yet.
JONATHAN: OK. (She gets out of the car and waves goodbye. He waves back and then starts the car.)
Scene X: The Micelli-Bower living room, several minutes later
(Al is sitting on the couch, watching sports on TV and drinking a beer. Jonathan returns, from the back door, with an accordion strap. He looks around as if for Bonnie.)
AL: Ay, Jonathan, I left the spaghetti noodles in the kitchen.
JONATHAN: Thanks, Al.
AL: What's that you're wearin'?
JONATHAN: An accordion strap.
AL: Without the accordion? (Before Jonathan can answer, the doorbell rings. Jonathan hesitates, not really wanting to deal with anyone else this weekend, but knowing he can't ignore the bell when Al is there. He goes over and opens the door to Bonnie, who's changed out of his sweats and into jeans and a T-shirt.)
JONATHAN: Bonnie, what a surprise! What are you doing here?
AL: She's probably here for the same reason I am, to give Sam and Hank some privacy.
BONNIE: Right. Is it OK if I hang out here for a few hours?
AL: I don't mind.
JONATHAN: (trying not to smile too much) Come on in. (He almost helps her off with her coat, then stops himself.)
BONNIE: Thank you. (coming over to the couch) So, Al, I thought you were in Brooklyn.
AL: Yeah, well, that didn't exactly work out.
JONATHAN: Oh, that reminds me. Al, did you see the message I took for you?
AL: What message?
JONATHAN: (going over to the table where the phone is) This message. Some girl named Lucia was trying to track you down.
AL: Lucia? Oh, yeah, I met her bowling last night. I didn't think she was interested.
BONNIE: Well, she must be, to try to reach you.
AL: Yeah, well, she ain't worth drivin' back to Brooklyn. Maybe some other weekend.
JONATHAN: Are you sure?
AL: Yeah, I'd rather hang out with youse guys.
JONATHAN: Well, thanks. (He looks at Bonnie and she shrugs. Cut to commercial.)
Scene XI: The kitchen, that evening
(Bonnie is cooking spaghetti. Mona enters, with her suitcase.)
BONNIE: Hi, Mona. Welcome back.
MONA: Bonnie, what are you doing here?
BONNIE: Making spaghetti.
MONA: I see that. But you don't work weekends.
BONNIE: I know, but Jonathan and I thought it would be a nice treat for Tony and Angela when they get back.
MONA: I see. So they haven't left my apartment yet?
BONNIE: No, not yet. So how was your weekend?
MONA: Wonderful! But too short.
BONNIE: Really? It felt longer than usual.
MONA: We've got to find you a boyfriend.
BONNIE: Oh, there's no hurry.
MONA: Right, you're focusing on school.
BONNIE: Yeah. (Jonathan enters through the swinging door.)
JONATHAN: Hey, Grandma, welcome back.
MONA: Thank you. It's good to be back.
JONATHAN: Are you staying for supper?
MONA: As long as it's not just a treat for Tony and Angela.
JONATHAN: Oh, no, there should be plenty.
MONA: So this was your idea, Jonathan? Or Bonnie's?
JONATHAN: Um, mine. But Bonnie's a better cook than I am.
MONA: And she agreed to come over and cook?
BONNIE: Um, well, we were hanging out anyway.
JONATHAN: (quickly) With Al. (Al enters through the swinging door.)
AL: Any beer left? Oh, hi, Mona.
MONA: So the three of you have been drinking to celebrate Valentine's Day?
AL: Ay, Mona, they're both under 21. The beer is for me.
MONA: Oh, good. (She looks at the three of them, wondering what exactly went on this weekend. Then Tony and Angela enter from outside.) Well, I don't have to ask how you two have been celebrating. (Tony and Angela both blush a little.)
TONY: Yeah, well—Bonnie, are you making spaghetti?
BONNIE: Yes, Jonathan didn't want you to have to cook when you got back.
TONY: Oh. That's very thoughtful. Of both of you.
AL: And I bought beer.
ANGELA: Uh, thanks, Al.
MONA: You know, you two could've stayed away a little longer. I wouldn't have minded.
ANGELA: Thank you, Mother. But I have to get to work on the Anderson account for tomorrow, now that Shirley Grant has completed the report.
TONY: Yeah, and I might as well start planning strategy for the state play-offs.
MONA: Oh, did you win Friday's game?
TONY: Did we win? (throwing his arm around Jonathan's shoulders) You should've seen your grandson on the court. He was amazing!
JONATHAN: It wasn't just me.
TONY: No, we've got a great team this year. With him and Bueller and the rest— (Bonnie coughs.)
JONATHAN: Um, Tony, I need to talk to you before dinner.
TONY: Uh, yeah, sure. (They exit through the swinging door.)
ANGELA: Mother, what's going on?
MONA: I'm not sure. (The phone rings. Angela goes to answer it.)
ANGELA: Hello? Um, no, I don't know why he's avoiding you. Who are you? Oh. (holding out the phone for Al) I think it's for you. (Al shakes his head and goes to the phone.)
AL: No, Lucia, that ain't my girlfriend. She's my friend's wife and she's like ten months pregnant. (He takes the phone out of the room, despite the cord.)
ANGELA: (hoping someone can explain all this) Bonnie?
BONNIE: (holding out the spoon) Do you think this sauce is too spicy?
MONA: It can never be too spicy for me. (She nonetheless tries it and nods enthusiastically. Sam and Hank enter from outside.)
HANK: Hey, Bonnie, Al called and said you're making a ton of spaghetti. Is there enough for two more?
BONNIE: Of course.
SAM: So how was the Valentine's dance? (Bonnie looks helpless. Roll closing credits.)