TV Guide capsule for Saturday, April 10, 1993:
9 PM Who's the Boss?—Comedy
Mona's getting hitched, but will it go off without a hitch?
Scene I: Tony and Angela's apartment over the garage, a Monday evening
(Angela is trying to work on an account at the coffee table, despite her advanced state of pregnancy. Someone knocks. She decides it's more trouble than it's worth to get up off the couch.)
ANGELA: Come in!
MONA: (opening the door) You don't even ask who it is?
ANGELA: Mother, I'm used to people, you included, dropping into the main house without even knocking.
MONA: (closing the door behind her) True. But I didn't want to barge in in case you were napping or—Good God, Woman, are you still working?
ANGELA: Mother, I just need to finish up the Anderson account and then—
MONA: Angela Katherine Micelli, you are due to have a baby this month! When are you going to ease up?
ANGELA: This is easing up, for me. I promised Tony I won't go into the office this week, and you're supposed to be keeping an eye on things at work. And Jack will call if any—
MONA: (shaking her head) I guess I'll have to settle for this.
ANGELA: So how was work?
MONA: Fine, but that's not what I want to talk to you about.
ANGELA: Oh?
MONA: How would you like to join me at a little gathering I'm having this coming Saturday?
ANGELA: Mother, I'm not feeling particularly social right now. And I went to a housewarming at the Harpers' just five months ago.
MONA: This isn't a housewarming. (lowering her eyelids demurely) It's about making a home.
ANGELA: Mother! You're getting married on Saturday?
MONA: Well, I told you it would probably be before the babies are born, and time's running out on that.
ANGELA: But why can't you wait six months or a year, now that you're living with Richard?
MONA: You want me to continue to live in sin? (Angela rolls her eyes.) Why are you always so difficult about my weddings?
ANGELA: It was different with Max. You were marrying him for the wrong reasons.
MONA: And now you're not happy with the timing. Fine, if you don't want to go on Saturday, don't go.
ANGELA: Mother, don't you think you're being a little unfair?
MONA: Then I guess I won't ask you to be my matron of honor.
ANGELA: (touched) Oh, Mother!
MONA: Then you will?
ANGELA: Of course. But I don't have a dress or— (suddenly remembering) Mother, I'll look ridiculous at this stage of pregnancy!
MONA: No one's going to be looking at you. They'll be looking at the blushing bride. (Tony enters, coming home from baseball practice at the high school.) Hey, Coach!
TONY: Hey, Mona.
MONA: (turning to go) See you Saturday.
TONY: Saturday?
ANGELA: Mother has decided that's the ideal day to get married.
TONY: But I've got a game then!
MONA: (shaking her head) You people and your priorities. (She heads down the stairs.)
TONY: What was that about?
ANGELA: I was less than enthusiastic about the timing of the wedding.
TONY: I don't blame you. This is almost as bad as Sam rushing into marriage. Well, at least Mona's not eloping.
ANGELA: Right.
TONY: (shaking his head) Remember how we had to drive to that little chapel?
ANGELA: Yes, and Mrs. Rossini had all that shellfish.
TONY: Yeah. So where's this wedding going to be?
ANGELA: Um. (Roll opening credits.)
Scene II: The same set, Wednesday afternoon
(Angela is trying on a forest green maternity dress. Bonnie is standing there with needle and thread.)
ANGELA: Bonnie, I really appreciate you altering this dress, and on such short notice.
BONNIE: Well, I am your maid.
ANGELA: Yes, but this wasn't exactly in your job description in November.
BONNIE: (laughing) Well, there have been a lot of surprises since I took this job. (She's suddenly self-conscious, thinking of Jonathan, but Angela doesn't notice since she's looking in the mirror.) Uh, what do you think? Of the dress I mean.
ANGELA: I look ridiculous.
BONNIE: I'm sorry.
ANGELA: No, no, you've done a lovely job. I just look ridiculous, being in a wedding party when I'm this pregnant.
BONNIE: Well, I think you look beautiful.
ANGELA: (giving her a quick side-hug) Aw, you're so sweet!
BONNIE: (quietly) Thank you. (trying not to think about her guilt) So it fits OK?
ANGELA: Yes. And thank you for leaving it loose and comfortable.
BONNIE: Well, I know you're not too thrilled about this wedding happening right now, so I wanted you to at least enjoy the dress.
ANGELA: That's lovely, Sweetheart, really.
BONNIE: Thank you.
ANGELA: What are you going to wear?
BONNIE: Oh, I don't know. Just a dress. Mona asked me to be maid of honor, you know since Sam is already married, but I don't want to be part of the wedding party. I'm happy just to be a guest.
ANGELA: I don't think that's the only reason. You really are part of this family now.
BONNIE: Thank you.
ANGELA: You don't have to keep thanking me, Bonnie.
BONNIE: OK. Um, but I should go, if the dress is OK. I have to study for a test.
ANGELA: All right, see you later.
Scene III: The Harpers' living room, Friday evening
(Mona and Bonnie are sitting on the couch.)
BONNIE: Mona, I really appreciate you taking the time to worry about my problems, when you've got a wedding tomorrow.
MONA: (waving her hand dismissively) Eh, I've had a wedding before. And it was a lot more complicated than this one.
BONNIE: Well, it's still really nice of you.
MONA: Well, it's not like it doesn't affect me. You are involved with my grandson after all.
BONNIE: (blushing) We're not exactly involved.
MONA: You made out in your p.j.s and you're having trouble keeping your hands off each other. That's pretty involved.
BONNIE: (still blushing) I don't want you to think it's just physical.
MONA: Dear, I'm the last person who would judge you if it were. But I can tell that you and Jonathan really like each other, care for each other. Still, he is a 17-year-old boy who's never had a serious girlfriend before. You're wakening things up in him he doesn't know how to handle. And from the sound of it, you don't either.
BONNIE: Well, I've got my own feelings to deal with, but, yes. Since I'm the older person, and the girl, I'm trying to be mature, to keep us from getting carried away. But I don't know how to deal with it now that we're sleeping just feet away from each other.
MONA: It's really too bad you can't talk to Angela. She knows all about self-restraint.
BONNIE: (nodding) I wish I could talk to her. I feel so guilty when I'm around her!
MONA: Bonnie, you've done nothing wrong. Yes, Angela will be upset when she finds out, but she's always been overprotective of Jonathan.
BONNIE: Then I can't ever tell her!
MONA: Aren't you forgetting that she'll soon have two little distractions?
BONNIE: So Jonathan and I should tell her after the babies are born?
MONA: Well, not right away. But maybe after he goes off to college. She'll have to separate from him then anyway.
BONNIE: OK. But that's still months away. What are we supposed to do in the meantime?
MONA: Well, I've been giving this some thought this week, ever since we talked on Sunday. And I think you should house-sit for me and Richard.
BONNIE: House-sit?
MONA: Yes, we're going on a two-month honeymoon. Not right away. We're going to wait till after the twins are born, since I want to see my grandbabies. And we'll come back in time for Jonathan's graduation. Would it help if you were sleeping over here again?
BONNIE: I think so. Except, well.
MONA: Yes, Dear?
BONNIE: Well, when Sam, Hank, Al, and I were renting the house, they were all here. Now it's going to be just me all alone. And that might be a worse temptation.
MONA: Tell him that I forbid you to have men, or in this case boys, over in my absence.
BONNIE: Uh, I don't think he's going to buy that coming from you.
MONA: What if Richard forbids it?
BONNIE: Um, no.
MONA: Damn! I guess we should've built up our image as stern grandparent figures. Well, too late now. (Bonnie laughs.) OK, tell him the truth, that you still want to wait till he's 18 and that if you do anything before then, especially in an otherwise empty house, his mother will never forgive either of you.
BONNIE: OK, I can try that I guess.
MONA: Thank God! (Bonnie looks at her.) Well, for eight years I gave Tony and Angela sensible advice about each other and they hardly ever listened. I guess there's hope for the next generation. (Bonnie laughs again, then she sighs.)
BONNIE: What do I do in June, when you come back?
MONA: We'll deal with that then. (The doorbell rings.) Are we good? Everything talked out?
BONNIE: I think so.
MONA: (getting up and going to the door) Good, because I have to greet a couple of out-of-town guests who are staying here tonight so they can attend the wedding. (She opens the door to her brothers Archie and Cornelius, played by Gordon Jump and James B. Sikking respectively.) Jughead! Cornball!
ARCHIE & CORNELIUS: Mony! (They both hug her. Then she turns to Bonnie.)
MONA: Bonnie, I'd like you to meet my little brother Cornelius (she looks up at him towering over her) and my big brother Archie. (She playfully slaps his belly.) Boys, this is Sam's best friend Bonnie. (The two men and Bonnie ad-lib pleased-to-meet-yous.)
BONNIE: Mona, I've got to be getting home. I'll, well, see you at the wedding.
MONA: (giving her a quick hug) You'd better! (Bonnie smiles, lets go, and then exits.)
ARCHIE: I didn't think you were inviting anyone extra to the wedding.
MONA: Please, Jughead, let's not get started on wedding invitations.
CORNELIUS: Is this about you not inviting Mother? (Mona stares at him.)
MONA: Why would I invite a dead woman?
ARCHIE: Dead? Mother isn't dead!
MONA: But her lawyer showed up a couple months ago and said she was.
CORNELIUS: This sounds like some sort of scam.
MONA: But he had a death certificate and everything!
ARCHIE: How much money did he want?
MONA: None. (sinking onto the couch) I'm very confused.
CORNELIUS: You're confused? Archie thinks you're marrying the president of a sperm bank.
MONA: I am marrying the president of a sperm bank.
CORNELIUS: Very funny, Mony. No, really, what does he do?
MONA: Well, he meets with couples and single women who want babies—
CORNELIUS: You're serious?
MONA: Yes.
ARCHIE: I told you!
CORNELIUS: Oh, well. Sorry. So where is our future brother-in-law? Archie also said you're shacking up with the guy.
MONA: Well, only since Saturday. And he's at a bachelor party at the hotel where his uncle, son, and best man are staying.
ARCHIE: So we don't get to meet him till at the wedding?
MONA: Sorry.
CORNELIUS: OK, one last thing Archie said. Angela got married in Atlantic City in September, and she's going to have twins in the next couple weeks?
MONA: Also true.
CORNELIUS: Shy, conservative Angela?
MONA: Yes, shy, conservative Angela.
CORNELIUS: I don't believe it!
ARCHIE: (chuckling) Wait till you tell him who Angela married!
Scene IV: The ladies' room of the chapel where Sam and Hank got married, late Saturday morning
(Angela, Sam, and Bonnie are helping Mona get ready. They ad-lib about how wonderful she looks, and she does, in a silver wedding gown. Angela is wearing the forest green dress. Sam is wearing a blue floral dress. And Bonnie has her pink Valentine's dress. Someone knocks.)
AL: (offscreen) Ay, let me in!
SAM: Al, this is the ladies' room
AL: Yeah, but I still gotta do her hair!
MONA: It's OK, let him in.
BONNIE: Um, it's a little crowded.
ANGELA: I'll leave. Then you can fit five more people in here. (looking at Mona) I figured I'd do the fat joke before you had a chance.
MONA: See, you always find a way to ruin my weddings. (Angela shakes her head but gives her mother a quick hug and then exits, letting Al in on her way out.)
Scene V: The main part of the chapel, meanwhile
(The men, except Al of course, are standing around, as Richard makes introductions.)
RICHARD: ...And this is my Uncle Martin, my son Eddie, and my best man David. (They're played by respectively Ray Walston, Brandon Cruz, and Lou Ferrigno. They shake hands with Tony, Hank, Jonathan, and Cornelius.)
TONY: (as Angela comes over) And this is my wife, Angela. Mona's daughter.
ANGELA: Pleased to meet you.
EDDIE: Congratulations on the twins! Dad told us. I guess this makes me a step-uncle or something.
MARTIN: I shudder to think what this makes me.
DAVID: That's a great dress, Angela. Green suits you.
ANGELA: Thank you. (The minister comes over and does a double-take at Angela.)
MINISTER: Well, it looks like you got here just in time!
TONY: (putting his arm around Angela) No, this is the daughter of the bride.
MINISTER: Then this wedding is definitely overdue.
RICHARD: It's a second wedding for both of us actually.
MINISTER: Ah, the groom I presume?
RICHARD: Yes. And this is Tony, the son-in-law of the bride, and—
AL: (as he enters) OK, we can get this started now.
MINISTER: And who's that?
RICHARD: The bride's hairdresser.
MINISTER: Ah. (The wedding march starts. Everyone takes their place. Bonnie comes in and looks for a seat. Jonathan looks at her as if he wants her to sit next to him. She's tempted but goes across the aisle. He tries to hide his disappointment. Sam enters and sits next to Hank. They hold hands and it's clear they're remembering their own wedding there. Mona enters on Archie's arm.)
ARCHIE: I seem to remember giving you away like this after Dad died.
MONA: (nodding) I'll only ask you every forty years or so. (He chuckles. They arrive at the altar and he steps back. She smiles at him and then beams at Richard.)
MINISTER: Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two, Richard Peter Johnson and Mona Rockwell Robinson, in the bonds of holy matrimony. If there's anyone here who can think of any reason why these two should not be married, speak now—
ANGELA: OH GOD NO!
MONA: (annoyed) Angela! Not now! I know you think I haven't known Richard long enough but I really love him and—
ANGELA: No, Mother, I'm going to have a baby!
MONA: (trying to be patient) Yes, Dear, you told me in October. But I'm getting married right now.
ANGELA: No, I mean I'm going to—Oh God! (Tony leaps to his feet and rushes to her.)
TONY: Sweetheart! How close are the contractions?
ANGELA: I don't know!
MINISTER: Are they far enough apart that I can finish? (They all look at him.) Well, I am heavily booked today.
MONA: We'll reschedule. I've got to get my kid to the nearest hospital. (Cut to commercial.)
Scene VI: The waiting room of the nearest hospital, that evening
(Everyone except Mona, Tony, and of course Angela is waiting. Al is playing poker with Richard, Richard's family, and Mona's brothers. Hank is making sock puppets for the twins. Sam and Jonathan are pacing, in opposite directions.)
BONNIE: Will you two sit down? Your pacing is making me nervous.
JONATHAN: You're nervous? My middle-aged mother is having twins right now!
SAM: And my middle-aged father is probably going crazy seeing the woman he loves go through this!
HANK: (speaking gently and going to her) You're thinking about your mom, aren't you? (She nods and bursts into tears. He strokes her back, even though he's got sock puppets on his hands.) This is different. Angela doesn't have your mom's health issues. She's going to be fine.
JONATHAN: She's 42, almost 43.
BONNIE: (wishing she could hold him and comfort him) Hank's right. She's going to be fine.
JONATHAN: (quietly) Thank you. But I'm still worried.
BONNIE: Of course. (Mrs. Rossini enters.) Mrs. Rossini!
MRS. R: Hi, Bonnie! Everybody! I got here as soon as I could.
SAM: (going to her and hugging her) How did you know?
MRS. R: Al called me. And I'm not gonna ask why he was invited to Mona's wedding and I wasn't.
RICHARD: Uh, it was kind of short notice.
MRS. R: But you were invited? Who are you?
RICHARD: The groom.
MRS. R: Oh. Well, congratulations.
RICHARD: Thank you. But we, uh, had to postpone it for a little while. (Mona enters, in scrubs over her wedding gown. Everyone demands to know what's happening, and Richard goes to her and hugs her.)
MONA: Angela is fine. Well, she's in labor but it's going all right.
RICHARD: (knowing Mona and knowing how much she loves Angela) And how are you?
MONA: (gratitude in her eyes although her voice gives little away) I could use some coffee.
RICHARD: I'll get you some. (He exits.)
MRS. R: So, Mona, a new husband and new grandkids? Congratulations!
MONA: (a little guiltily) Thank you, Carmella.
MRS. R: Now, I know you've got a lot going on right now, but I wanted to give you a traditional Italian wedding gift.
MONA: Oh, you don't have to do that!
MRS. R: I insist. (She reaches into her purse and brings out a wad of bills.)
MONA: Money?
AL: Yeah, that's what they give at Italian weddings, cash. Of course, it's probably not worth it, since you gotta get married to get it.
MRS. R: (as she hands the money to Mona) You'll change your mind someday, Al. When you meet the right girl.
AL: Yeah, that'll happen.
MRS. R: So, Bonnie, are you seein' anyone? (Bonnie doesn't know what to say. Then Richard returns with the coffee. Mona hands him the money.)
RICHARD: Uh, Darling, the coffee isn't that pricey.
MONA: (taking the coffee) Carmella will explain. I've got to get back to Angela. (Everyone ad-libs good wishes. The camera follows Mona out to the hallway, where she drinks the hot coffee like she's downing alcohol. We see the fear and concern for Angela that Mona didn't want to expose in front of the group. Then she sighs, pulls herself together, and heads back to the delivery room.)
Scene VII: The delivery room, meanwhile
(Angela is in labor, but we only see her from the shoulders up. Tony is next to her, holding her hand.)
ANGELA: (exhausted, scared) Tony, I can't do this! It's too hard!
TONY: (scared for her but trying not to show it, and as always wanting to encourage her) Baby, I know, but you're doin' great! You're almost there!
ANGELA: I want my mommy!
TONY: Mona's gonna be right back. She's just getting some coffee.
ANGELA: Don't you leave me, Tony!
TONY: Never, Sweetheart, never!
WOMAN DOCTOR: Come on, Mrs. Micelli, push!
ANGELA: It hurts!
DOCTOR: It's going to hurt more if you don't push. (Angela looks annoyed but then she uses this feeling to gain her second wind. Sounds of Angela's labor, and the doctor and Tony encouraging her. And then the baby's cry.)
TONY: (stunned even though this is what they've been waiting for) Oh God, is that—?
DOCTOR: That's your son, Mr. Micelli.
TONY: (starting to cry with joy) My son? Angela, did you hear that? We've got a son!
ANGELA: (still annoyed) Yeah, I was there.
DOCTOR: Uh, congratulations.
TONY: (to the doctor) She's usually very sentimental. You just caught her on a bad day. (Mona enters and tosses her coffee cup into the trash.)
MONA: OK, what did I miss?
ANGELA: My mother abandoned me while I was bringing her another grandson into the world!
MONA: Sorry, Dear, but I'll be here for the next twin.
DOCTOR: Mrs. Robinson, can you hold the baby? We're all a bit preoccupied.
MONA: (taking the baby, whom the nurse has already cleaned up and put in a blanket) Of course. Oo, you are a cutie, aren't you?
DOCTOR: OK, Mrs. Micelli, the second twin is going to be easier.
ANGELA: IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE COMFORTING?
MONA: Dear, don't upset the baby. (Now Angela is annoyed at Mona, so she uses that emotion. Dissolve to indicate the passage of time, probably less than an hour.)
DOCTOR: Here she comes!
TONY: She? Angela, we've got a daughter! (Angela is concentrating too much on the labor to react. Pause and then the second twin cries, setting off the first. Angela cries, too, in relief, exhaustion, and joy.)
MONA: Oh, she's beautiful! They're both beautiful! My baby has beautiful babies!
ANGELA: Mommy! (Mona hands the boy twin to Tony and goes to Angela, cradling Angela's head against her chest, in the way she comforted her in the first season or two.)
MONA: Well done, Dear, very well done. And it's over now.
TONY: Hey there, Little Guy. Sorry I didn't get to meet you earlier, but we had to get your sister here. You gonna be a good big brother? You gonna take care of her?
ANGELA: (a mixture of annoyed, amused, and affectionate) Tony!
DOCTOR: Um, sorry, to interrupt but we're not quite finished here.
ANGELA: Ugh, OK. (Another time dissolve.)
Scene VIII, Angela's private room, awhile later
(Angela is sitting up as comfortably as she can, as Mona and Tony sit by the sides of the bed and hold the twins for her to see.)
TONY: There's your mommy. Isn't she pretty?
ANGELA: Tony, I look horrible.
TONY: (shaking his head) Not to me, not to them.
MONA: Well, I've seen you look better. But you have a good excuse. (Angela rolls her eyes but she knows her mother too well to take the insult personally.) So what are you going to name these two? You said you'd know when you saw them.
ANGELA: (looking at the boy baby that Tony's holding) Anthony M. Micelli of course.
TONY: (both touched and annoyed) Ah, Sweetheart, I love that you want to name him after me, but is "Morton" really something you want to hand down?
ANGELA: Not Morton. Matty, for your father.
TONY: (now just very touched) Oh, Baby, that's perfect!
ANGELA: Mother, I hope you don't mind we're not naming him after Daddy.
MONA: You can name the next boy after Robert. (Angela glares at her and it's clear she is not going through childbirth ever again.) Kidding, kidding! What about this little girl? (She holds up the other baby.)
ANGELA: Well, I was going to name her after you, but now I'm rethinking that.
MONA: (trying not to show how touched she is) Really?
ANGELA: Yes, Mona M. Micelli.
TONY: Ay-oh, oh-ay, I'm definitely not naming my daughter Morton!
ANGELA: No, the M is for Marie. If that's OK.
TONY: (tearing up again) It's beautiful! You're beautiful! (He leans down and kisses her while still carefully holding their son. Someone knocks.)
RICHARD: (poking his head in) Can we come in?
ANGELA: It depends on who "we" is. If you mean Al and everyone, then no.
SAM: (poking her head in) How about me and Jonathan?
ANGELA: Of course! (Richard holds the door open and the "kids" rush into the room and over to the rest of the family.)
MONA: Samantha, would you like to hold Little Mona?
SAM: Of course! (taking the baby from Mona) Oh, she's beautiful! Hey, Little Sister! I'm gonna take you to the mall when you get big enough.
TONY: Hide the credit cards! (Angela chuckles, then smiles warmly at her daughter and stepdaughter.)
ANGELA: (turning the other way) Tony, let Jonathan hold Tony, Jr.
JONATHAN: Mom, what if I drop him?
TONY: You won't. (He shows Jonathan how to hold a baby.)
JONATHAN: (whispering) Wow!
MONA: Richard, get the camera!
ANGELA: Mother, I look terrible!
TONY: Angela.
MONA: We'll crop you out of the pictures if we have to, but I want all four of my grandkids in one shot. (Sam smiles, touched by this.)
RICHARD: I'll be right back.
JONATHAN: (looking back and forth between the babies) They're so tiny!
ANGELA: Thank God!
SAM: Twins are usually smaller than average. (They all look at her.) I read that in Biology class.
JONATHAN: But they're healthy, right?
TONY: Very healthy.
JONATHAN: And, Mom, you're OK?
ANGELA: Jonathan, I just gave birth.
JONATHAN: No, but I mean, there weren't any complications, were there?
ANGELA: (realizing she needs to reassure him, and touched by his concern) It was as normal as a twin birth to a middle-aged woman could be.
JONATHAN: Good.
SAM: I can't get over it! I mean, we've been talking about this for months, but still. Suddenly there are these two new people in the family!
TONY: (grinning) Yeah, Tony and Mony!
MONA: No, please don't hand that nickname down!
SAM: Hey, Jonathan, swap you.
JONATHAN: OK. (With Tony and Mona's help, Sam and Jonathan trade twins.) Mom, she's got your eyes. But Tony's nose.
TONY: You could not fit this nose on that little face.
JONATHAN: I mean the shape of it.
SAM: Tony, Jr. looks a little like Grandpa Matty.
TONY: Yeah, a little. (Richard pokes his head in again.)
RICHARD: Uh, Angela, I'm sorry to bother you, but Mrs. Rossini invited a priest and she wants me and Mona to get married in the hospital.
MONA: But we're not even Catholic!
RICHARD: (going to her) I know. But she wants us to have a wedding today, especially since we've been living in sin.
MONA: Oh, honestly, this has been the least sinful week of my adulthood.
RICHARD: (going to her) Come on, Darling, let me make an honest woman out of you.
MONA: My matron of honor hasn't even recovered from childbirth yet!
ANGELA: It's OK, Mother. As long as it's a quick ceremony. And as long as someone can loan me a comb. (Sam hands Tony, Jr. to Mona and goes to the door.)
SAM: (bellowing Brooklyn style) Yo, Al, get in here! (Cut to commercial.)
Scene IX, the same set, about half an hour later
(Everyone has crowded into the room, including Father Marconi. Tony and Angela are sitting snuggled up on the hospital bed, holding the twins. Al has given her a simple upsweep.)
TONY: (to Angela) Well, Honey, our oldest kid is getting married.
ANGELA: They grow up so fast. (A silent montage of "Mona moments" interspersed with the wedding, as Father Marconi reads your basic sitcom wedding ceremony lines. Everyone looks at Angela on "speak now," and she smiles sheepishly. The wedding goes smoothly and Richard and Mona kiss, to everyone's applause.)
ARCHIE: (chuckling) I can't wait to hear Mother's reaction to this day.
CORNELIUS: Yeah, she'll have a fit. (Everyone looks at them, most of them in surprise.)
MONA: (annoyed) Jughead! Cornball!
ARCH & CORN: Sorry, Mony! (Roll closing credits.)