Chapter 9. What Can We Do Now?

Kiku didn't get any more visitors for the remainder of the month. Even if he secretly wanted them to come. Sometimes he would take a moment of the day just to peek out the window to see if his friends were coming again, but they never were. Elizabeta had sent him that tape, though. Who the tape was of would be kept secret but Kiku watched it more than once. Sometimes he would text his friends, more often than he used to, anyway, but still not daily. It wasn't long until Kiku was to be going back at school. Before he knew it, the basement had been cleared out, and he was packing his bags for the next day. He was looking forward to getting back to work, but not looking forward to seeing Alfred. He didn't really know what was coming for him. He was also looking forward to seeing his friends in person again. Kiku hadn't realized how much he missed them until they visited and then left again. He couldn't wait for tomorrow. It would be hard to sleep, but he was prepared for that.

The next day, Kiku stared at the school. He couldn't walk in. He was frozen outside the front steps. He gripped his backpack tightly and rocked back on his heels. He thought that he'd been prepared, but he hadn't been. Someone walked up behind him. It was Francis.

"Ah! Kiku, you're back!"

Kiku turned his head around and looked up at him. "Yes, I am."

Francs put an arm around him. "Having trouble walking into the school?"

Kiku nodded. "I didn't realize how scary it would be."

Francis blew some hair out of his eye. "Come on, let me walk you in. I am ASB president after all."

"O-Okay." Kiku said as Francis started walking up the steps briskly, pulling Kiku along.

It wasn't long until they were in the main hallway with all the offices. Kiku was taken back to his first days of school. He remembered how he'd run into the hall with Francis and Arthur fighting, and then they'd taken him around the school and that's how he'd met Alfred. A fond memory soon turned into a bad one with the fleeting thought of Alfred. Instead, Kiku remembered the fight that Arthur and Francis had, had at his house. He looked up at him.

"Hey, did you ever work things out with Arthur?" Kiku was genuinely curious.

Francis' smile fell. "Oui, we did but…things have never been the same."

"Oh? How so?" Kiku furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Francis sternly. He couldn't figure out why things might be different if Arthur just gave Francis what he wanted.

Francis shook his head. "I can't really explain it. Both of us feel it though. Something went wrong when we made up."

"I see…" Kiku said, though he really didn't see. He wished that his brother Yao was here.

Yao was really wise. He always knew what to do and he had great advice. Kiku never seemed like he knew what to say. Yet people always told him he was good to talk to.

"You're good to talk to Kiku." Francis looked down and said to him. "You listen, you don't just interject with your own opinions suddenly. Thank you, Kiku."

"Huh? Oh um, you're welcome." Kiku forced himself to smile.

Francis patted him on the back. "You're a good friend, Kiku."

"I'm glad you think so." Kiku looked ahead at the bustling hallway.

"Well I think I'll leave you here, Kiku. You're not quite late for class."

"You're leaving me? B-But my first class is with Alfred!"

Francis smirked. "I'm afraid I have some things to get done as ASB president. You're going to have to face him alone."

"A-Alone?" Kiku swallowed hard. He didn't want to get into another fight with Alfred. Especially if he still had lingering feelings for him. Kiku knew that he shouldn't have such feelings, but he couldn't help it. Yes, Alfred had hurt him in many ways, but he was also Kiku's first love. And that was really huge to him.

"I believe in you, Kiku." Francis said, and ruffled Kiku's hair. "You can get past this."

"Domo Arigato." Kiku bowed to him. "It means a lot for you to say that to me." He smiled at Francis, who smiled back.

"I'll see you at lunch, Kiku. Good luck on your first day…again!" He laughed and walked into the ASB room. Kiku sighed to himself and walked to Drama.

Kiku sat down in drama in his usual spot. Mr. Densen came up to him before he could even turn and look at Alfred.

"Hello Kiku, welcome back."

Kiku pressed himself away from Mr. Densen and into his chair. "Thank you, Mr. Densen, it's good to be back."

"I heard you were suspended for a month. We've gotten a lot of work done in a month."

"Hopefully I'll be able to catch up." Kiku smiled nervously at him.

"Well, we haven't done much with the unimportant characters."

"Glad to hear that, then."

"Yes, well, do your best to catch up!" He banged his hand on Kiku's desk loudly, making Kiku jump, and walked away.

Kiku was now able to see Alfred. He turned to look at him. Alfred looked tired. He wasn't bruised or cut like when Kiku had left, but he'd obviously changed a lot in the past month. He didn't look quite as healthy, and he seemed a bit thinner. His hair was a little longer and he wasn't smiling. Kiku blinked a few times. Surely this wasn't the same Alfred. This was no Alfred he knew anyway. He leaned toward him a bit. Slowly though.

"A-Alfred?" He could barely choke the name out.

Alfred turned to him. His voice was quiet and not his own. "Kiku. Has it already been a month?"

"What happened to you, Alfred?" Kiku was really concerned. His friends never said anything about the change, though they did say that he stopped hanging out with them, so that could explain why.

"Nothing happened to me. I don't know what you're getting on about."

Kiku tightened his lip. "You know exactly what I mean. I shouldn't even be talking to you after what you did to me. But look at yourself. You're thin, you look tired, and you don't look as healthy."

"What I did to you?" Alfred looked disgusted. "You mean what you did to yourself."

"No, I don't mean what I did to myself. You got me suspended!"

Alfred raised his voice. "I didn't get you suspended! You got yourself suspended!"

Mr. Densen looked at the both of them. "Take it outside, boys. I don't want it in my classroom."

Both Alfred and Kiku huffed and got out of their seats, though Alfred was slower. As the two of them walked outside, Alfred shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He didn't have a coat. Kiku always had a coat, which he put his own hands into the pockets of. Both boys scowled at each other. Kiku shut the door quickly behind them as they reached the outdoors.

"What are you going to do? Hit me like the other boys?" Alfred smirked at him and leaned against the wall.

Kiku looked down and shuffled his feet. "Maybe a month ago I might've hit you. But not now. Are you going to tell me what's happened to you?"

"Like I said before, I don't know what you mean.

"Are you on drugs Alfred?"

"Please, I'm not that stupid Kiku. You Japanese may think that we Americans are stupid, but this American is not so dumb." Kiku stamped his foot and opened his mouth to say something but Alfred spoke over him. "Oh, so we're angry now, are we?"

Kiku was angry at Alfred. He was acting like an ass. "Yes! I've been angry for the last month! I'm angry that my boyfriend started to be a jerk to me for no reason, I'm mad that he then broke up with me that very same day, I'm mad that because of that he called me names and spread rumors about me, I'm mad I lost my temper and got suspended because of him! Yes, Alfred, I am angry. I'm mad that my now ex is still being a dick! I'm angry that he looks like he's been abusing himself and he won't tell me why! I'm most angry because I don't understand why any of this happened! I never did anything!" Kiku felt like spitting fire. He was trying hard not to lose it again, but he was just on the edge. He balled his hands in and out of fists.

Alfred blinked in surprise, he pulled a cigarette out and lit it. "You know why it all happened. You seduced me."

Kiku snorted, he was angry. "Is that it? Is that why you look so terrible? You've started smoking, Alfred? And I didn't seduce you! I didn't try to get your attention or try to make you like me-"

"Love you." Alfred interrupted. "I loved you."

"No!" Kiku was almost in tears. "No, that wasn't love. If it was love, you wouldn't have done what you did to me. You wouldn't have said what you said to me."

"Don't go back there!"

Kiku came up and hit the cigarette out of Alfred's hands. "Stop it! Stop being difficult! Of course I'm going to go back there! Alfred, why? Why did you say those things to me? What did your father do?"

"What my father does is none of your business."

"Yes, it is my business! I was there! Did you forget, Alfred? I was there when your dad hit you. I was there, and I tried to get him away." Kiku wiped oncoming tears out of his eyes.

"I know you were there." Alfred looked down. "And then you left."

"You told me to leave!" Alfred remained quiet. "Alfred, you told me to go! Was there something else you wanted me to do?"

Alfred shuffled his feet. "I'm going inside." He turned to the door.

"No, you're not!" Kiku grabbed Alfred's shoulder and turned him around. "What did you want from me, Alfred? What happened when I left?"

Alfred sniffled. "You still care don't you?"

Kiku let go of his shoulder. "Hardly."

Alfred scoffed. "Look, I'm sorry I got you suspended. But I still have some things to sort out."

"Like what?" Kiku took another step closer to Alfred.

Alfred looked Kiku directly in the eye. What was once a bright sky blue was now pale and sad. "Like how I still feel about you. What I did, and what my dad said."

"Alfred-" Kiku tried to bring his hand up but he couldn't. He didn't have the will.

"For now, just leave me the hell alone."

With that, Alfred walked inside. Kiku stood alone outside and took a deep breath. He tried to process what Alfred had just told him, but he couldn't. Did Alfred still…like him? He couldn't believe that, not after what he said to him. Kiku didn't want to go back to class, but he still had to prepare for the school play. Performances were beginning in a few weeks and he didn't have any of his stage directions yet. Thank goodness he had his lines memorized; that would save him a world of trouble. The only catch was that the scene was with Alfred. He didn't want to rehearse with Alfred. Not now, anyway. Not after Alfred had asked him to stay far away from him. He wouldn't have to kiss Alfred in rehearsal, though. Just at the real show. He could fake it until then. With one more deep breath, Kiku walked back inside after Alfred. Mr. Densen was saying something in front of the whole class, Alfred was sitting in a new spot, and Kiku took his regular seat. He didn't know what to think, or what was lying ahead for him.

Kiku was relieved when it was lunch time. The whole beginning of the day had gone so slowly. Rehearsal for the play had been okay. Luckily, Kiku and Alfred's scene hadn't needed many stage directions and they were able to start running the show very slowly. He didn't have to kiss Alfred, which both of them seemed thankful for. Miss Arlovaskaya had taken great joy in how many assignments Kiku had missed while away. He was already up to his eyeballs in school work, but none of it was half as bad as the pile Miss Arlovaskaya dropped onto his desk. She expected it done by the end of the week. The rest of the teachers had been fairly lenient with him. Mr. Fernández Carriedo had even told him that he didn't need to catch up on any of the work Kiku missed! He could just pick up where they were now, and he gave Kiku a few sheets to read that might be helpful, but that was all. During passing period, Ludwig and Feliciano both talked to him. They were happy to see him back. Ludwig offered to help Kiku catch up on some of his missing work, and Feliciano offered to come along too, though he wasn't sure how much he could help with. Nothing else happened, though. Kiku mostly just received a handful of homework.

Kiku sat down at his regular spot. Or his old regular spot, where he'd sat before the month of suspension had come up. He was hoping that his friends still sat here, because he didn't see any of them yet. Kiku pulled out his lunch box and opened it. He was still somewhat happy to be back, rather than to be stuck in the house, cleaning out old, useless boxes. He took a bite of his sushi. It tasted good. He wouldn't say it out loud, but he missed the loudness of the lunch room. He missed hearing others eating around him and the music that blasted through the speakers. Eventually he saw Arthur and flagged him down. He wasn't with Francis though. Kiku wasn't sure if he should think this was odd or not.

Arthur came over and sat down next to him. "Hello, glad to see you're back."

Kiku smiled a little. "Yes, it's nice to see you too."

Arthur opened his lunch bag. He had burned sandwiches, just like the first day of school.

"Sorry about the way I left your house over your suspension. Francis, can really be an idiot."

"No, it's okay. Relationships can be complicated."

Arthur huffed and bit into one of his sandwiches. He made a face as it crunched under his teeth. "Yes, yes they can. I know that for sure."

Kiku chuckled a bit. "I heard from Francis that you two are a little rocky."

Arthur nodded. "We're weird. It's not like it used to be. I want to go back to that."

"From the sound of it, so does he."

Arthur shook his head. "I don't know if we ever can." He chugged his water and took another bite.

Francis came up to the table just as Kiku was about to say something back to Arthur. Francis sat across from them. That was unusual considering Francis usually sat very close to Arthur.

"Hello Kiku. How has your day been since this morning?"

Kiku shrugged. "Alright, I had a fight with Alfred but I guess that was expected."

"A fight with Alfred?" Francis looked taken aback. "What happened?" He looked over at Arthur's food and sneered at it. It looked as if he might make one of his usual snide comments, but he didn't.

"What about a fight with Alfred?" Gilbert jogged over and sat down very close to Francis. He curled his lip at Arthur's lunch.

Arthur looked at Francis. "What aren't you and your friend going to say anything about my lunch?"

Elizabeta was close behind Gilbert. "A fight with Alfred? That can't be good."

Francis said and tightened his lip."No, I won't say anything."

Gilbert laughed. "kesese, you mean that its burned to a crisp?"

Francis help his shoulder. "No, Gilbert. We shouldn't do such a thing."

Arthur pounded his fist on the table. "Come on, now! I know you want to!"

Francis opened his mouth, but Feliciano came over and sat next to Arthur. "Did I hear something about a fight with Alfred?"

"Yes!" Elizabeta nodded at him.

"A fight? With Alfred? I thought it might come at least later in the week…." Ludwig came over and sat down by Feliciano.

"I don't understand why things changed!" Arthur shouted, trying to bring the conversation back to himself.

"Shut up! I want to listen to Kiku's story." Francis snapped at him.

Just like that all eyes were on Kiku. "M-My story?" Kiku blinked and swallowed hard. "I don't know if I'd call a fight a story."

"Well, just tell us what happened. We want to help you, Kiku." Feliciano smiled at him.

In that moment, Kiku felt like he was really surrounded by people who loved him. He knew that they earnestly wanted to help him, which was more than he ever had in Japan. He smiled, a true smile for the first time since they visited his house. "Okay, I think I can trust you guys."

Kiku told them what happened. He decided not to leave out any detail except for when he talked about Alfred's dad hitting him. It seemed wrong of them to know such a gruesome detail. They all listened to him intently. They nodded and frowned when they should have and when Kiku was finished they were oddly silent.

Gilbert spoke first. "What a dick."

"Ve~ why is Alfred smoking? Didn't you used to do that Luddy?"

"Ja…I still do sometimes."

"Hey! Mein kleiner Bruder! Why are you still smoking?"

Elizabeta hit Gilbert. "That's not what this is about."

"It's bad for his health!"

Ludwig frowned. "I don't do it that often! Besides, I'm fit."

Gilbert folded his arms. "I don't like it."

"It sounds like Alfred has it bad." Ludwig tightened his lip.

"Ve~ yeah it does…"

"I wish we could do something to help." Arthur suddenly jumped in.

Francis continued Arthur's thought. "Yes, it seems like he still likes you, Kiku."

"Still likes me? You guys know what happened in the lunch room! That doesn't seem much like like to me."

Elizabeta shook her head. "No, it sounds like he was repeating someone else's words."

"Are you not telling us something, Kiku?" Ludwig leaned in so he could see Kiku more.

Kiku panicked for a moment, then lied. "No, I've told you everything I know."

"Well, whoever put the ideas in his head obviously has a big influence on him." Elizabeta said as she put her arm around Gilbert.

"Oui. He can't decide if he should listen to them or be with you."

"That can't be right." Kiku shook his head. "It's crazy. I mean, that sort of thing only happens on tv."

"No, it can happen. Where do you think the tele writers get the ideas?" Arthur pushed his sandwiches away and looked at Kiku.

"From experience, of course~!" Francis smiled as he finished Arthur's thought again.

"Huh..." Kiku had never considered that before. "Maybe you're right."

"Of course I'm right!" Both Francis and Arthur said that the same time. They then gave each other a glare.

"Well, what can we do about it?" Gilbert asked.

"Ve~ maybe if you kiss him, he'll know that he really wants to be with you!" Feliciano chimed in.

"Kiss him? But he doesn't want me anywhere near him." Kiku looked down at his food. How was he supposed to kiss Alfred if he wasn't going to go near him? If Alfred didn't want him around?

"Kesesese I got this one!" Gilbert leaned forward. "The school play, of course, dummy!"

"The…school play?" Kiku looked up again as things began to click in his mind.

"Ve~ yeah! I forgot about that! You'll just have to give him the kiss of a lifetime!"

"That's not a bad idea…" Ludwig mused.

"Are you kidding, it's perfect!" Francis clapped his hands together and looked very gleeful.

"It's so romantic!"

"If he does it right, it's romantic." Arthur pointed out.

"What if I do it wrong?" Kiku panicked. "I'm not very good at kissing!"

"What do you mean you're not good?" Elizabeta leaned forward as Ludwig had done earlier.

"I don't kiss people that often!" Kiku said and blushed a deep shade of red.

"Well, who does?" Ludwig frowned.

Arthur scoffed and motioned to Francis. "This git over here kisses practically anything that moves!"

Francis looked offended. "That's not true!"

Arthur smirked. "I saw you kissing a mop once!"

Francis blushed slightly. Kiku didn't think he'd ever seen Francis blush before. "That was just a very odd looking woman!"

"My ass it was!" Arthur shot back.

"This conversation is over!" Francis frowned and the both of them stopped.

Gilbert put an arm around Francis. "Hey how about you, Antonio, and I all give the boy a lesson in kissing?" He smirked.

Francis brightened. "Hey, yeah! That's a great idea! The three of us are unstoppable!"

Elizabeta groaned. "Oh no, please don't bring Antonio into this…"

Kiku was confused. "Who's Antonio?"

Arthur looked at Kiku. "You know your teacher Mr. Fernández Carriedo?" Kiku nodded. "That's Antonio."

Feliciano bounced in his seat. "Yay! That means Lovi might come too~!"

"Oh boy…" Ludwig pinched his nose. "I don't know if I'm ready for this."

"Oh come on, Luddy, it's to help out a friend!" Feliciano leaned on him.

"Fine, fine…I can't believe I'm getting so involved."

"So it's settled, then?" Francis asked.

"I think so…" Elizabeta looked at the lot of them.

Everyone turned to look at Kiku. Kiku blushed heavily, he felt pressured. "I mean…I guess if you really want to."

"Yes!" Gilbert punched his hand into the air. "This is gonna be awesome!"

Hey guys, sorry another late update. I promise it should be the last weekend I am in Canada. Well I'm back now and here is that chapter! I hope you enjoy reading it and I hope it didn't get put up too late! How are you all? I hope good, March is a tough month! I'm painting my nails like space this week and I also changed my whole internet to German! I just felt like sharing... anyway have a good week and I will see you next Sunday ~

M.O.