*one-shot fun-shot*
*if you're looking for reamy DO NOT READ THIS FIC*
We're Horrible People
Part I
"We're getting married?"
"What?" Karma took a step back and practically fell down onto her bed.
Amy had called real quick just a few minutes before to make sure Karma was home. She was all rushed but she wouldn't tell Karma a thing and then all of a sudden she burst through the door breathless with ridiculous news.
"Ya-you and Reagan?" Karma was so confused. She fell back onto the bed and sat down.
"Yup," Amy panted, her smile large and almost insane.
"But-ah," Karma laughed awkwardly, she was supposed to be the supportive friend. She stood up to get closer to her. "You just got back together," she smiled nervously through her not-so-hidden fear.
"Yea, but we dated almost a year before that."
"You're- you're, still in high school. You're both so young."
"She's not in high school and I'm a mature person. And, more importantly, why aren't you excited, you love weddings?" Amy asked, taking a step forward and holding Karma in her arms, adoring her for a moment since she thought that of all things this would actually make Karma unbelievably happy. Well, she obviously thought wrong.
"I, I am happy," Karma lied, smiling softer and loving the way Amy was taking care with her and fixing her hair. She was staring at her in that way she did, looking at Karma like she was the moon. Karma tried to keep it together but it was hard. There were so many days in the past two weeks that Karma just wanted to come out and tell her, tell Amy that she was in love with her, but it felt wrong.
"And you'll get to plan it," Amy said, moving her hands to Karma's neck and touching her skin making her weak, physically weak, without even knowing it. "I knew you'd want to, I knew you'd just love it all."
Karma absent-mindedly pulled Amy's hands down off of her with her own. She felt heavy all of a sudden, unable to stand. She pushed Amy back away from her and sat down again on the bed, holding her side where she felt an unexpected cramp.
"Karma…" Amy sat down next to her. She would have to admit this wasn't the sort of reception she had expected. "What is it? What's wrong?" Amy asked, holding her own wrist and staring down at it for lack of a better thing to focus on.
"I just… It's fast, is all," Karma said, keeping secrets from her again. "But if you know this is what you want-"
Amy took Karma's hand in hers and looked over at her before speaking. "I do," she said concretely.
"Okay," Karma sighed before smiling. She felt her life falling away from her, the life she had planned. There were at least two months in there where Karma actually thought they might actually get the dream. But she was too late, that was all… She was just too late. And there was nothing she could do now because life worked as it did.
Part II
Between Reagan's sister, Lauren Cooper, and Farrah, Karma didn't actually have to do much with regards to the wedding. Everyone had their gifts and their needs. Karma took the sweet emotional things like the dress shopping and the cake tasting and the venue visiting and anything that involved time with amy, time in a car alone, time where amy wouldn't feel exceptionally stressed.
Karma hadn't of course planned on the obvious fact that Reagan would be along for most of those things too. But when she shrugged one duty off onto Lauren and bailed on another duty at the very last minute Amy started to get tense. It just wasn't like Karma to not be there. It just wasn't.
"Karma, where are you?"
"I forgot, I promised my dad I'd prep for the weekend crowd."
"Karms…"
"I'm sorry Amy, I really Amy…"
Little by little Amy began to get tense about it all, Karma was already pulling away. They always promised each other that they'd be involved in their lives, and these were big events. It wasn't lost on Amy that these little stunts of Karma's they were obviously redflags.
"What's wrong?" Reagan had asked, right after Amy hung up the phone.
"I just… I know this is our wedding but…"
"You want Karma here," Reagan said, knowing it just as she always did. She'd long since learned that Karma and Amy were a packaged deal. Right before their last breakup Amy had taken her to a party at Liam's and it wasn't a surprise when shit hit the fan and the party ended with her having to pull Amy off of Liam after fists were thrown and words were hurled all around all in Karma's defence.
"It's stupid… I know," Amy cried.
"It's not stupid," Reagan said lovingly, holding her girl. She was still sorta floored that Amy had actually said yes. When she asked her to marry her she wasn't exactly expecting an answer, just maybe sex. They'd been broken up for months and she was the one who had strayed though it did seem that Amy strayed often just by having a friend that she herself could never measure up to. But it was different and Reagan knew that. Reagan had cheated on Amy, she had. It wasn't just a kiss. It wasn't something small. She'd slept with her ex and it was dumb and accidentally and she hated herself for it but it was a slip a flaw something she could understand Amy being upset about. But she'd hate herself even more if she didn't try to get Amy back. So she tried the only way she knew how. With a ring and a performance and a whole crowd of people hanging on Amy's answer.
It was perfect. But Reagan never believed in perfect until now. That was part of the reason she let herself fall. Unconditional love wasn't something she was used to. She wanted it, it was true, but she wasn't used to it, Reagan never had a friend like Karma or a mother like Farrah. As the wedding approached Reagan was almost sure that Amy's love for her was somewhat blind but she could trust in her because Amy was a good person despite her blindness.
To Reagan, everything about Amy was just flawless. Even Amy's ridiculous friendship was perfect because without that friendship Amy would never have even looked twice at her and she knew that somehow now.
"We can reschedule," Reagan smiled. She had Amy's hands in hers and she was holding them both, rubbing her thumb along Amy's ring, Amy's answer, Amy's pride.
"Stop looking at me like that," Amy grinned. Something about knowing that they'd soon be forever, totally got to them both.
It'd been so fast but they were both feeling it. The only thing that could screw it up was Karma and even Reagan knew that.
"K, well," Reagan said, clearing her throat and thanking her stars. "I have work in an hour, so…"
"Oh, right," Amy said, waking up from her daze.
"Can you drop me at Karma's?"
"Sure thing beautiful," Reagan smiled, waiting for the kiss that she knew Amy would rush to give her, the kiss that almost debilitated her and made her want for to never move.
Inside the church Reagan felt strange.
"I don't want to get married here anyway," she whispered secretly on the way down from the altar as they passed all the pews. "Somewhere else please, anywhere outside."
"Okay," Amy smiled. She'd like that better too.
Part III
When Amy burst through her door Karma was in no way expecting it.
"What the-"
"I knew it!" Amy said, rage filling her.
When she had burst through the door she could clearly see Karma sitting on her couch all alone in her family room just staring at the tv.
Karma had thrown the tv control, bolted upright and straightened her skirt.
"WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME?!" Amy shouted.
"I-I'm not," Karma tried, feeling panicked.
Amy was in her face right quick.
"Tell me right now," Amy said.
"I can't take it!" Karma screamed, though not nearly as loud as Amy had, screwing her eyes up tight and holding her secrets in as close as she could.
"What?"
"I don't want to marry you!" Karma said, accidentally. Those weren't the words she had meant to say and if anything they were the exact opposite of the truth. What Karma wanted WAS exactly JUST THAT.
"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Amy yelled, holding Karma's wrists to keep her close and force her to confess whatever it was she was hiding.
"I don't want to PREPARE for YOU to get married to SOMEONE else," Karma said, sighing and hating herself once it was out.
"What?" Amy asked, almost hurt. She slowly dropped Karma's arm but still kept her hold on Karma's wrist. "Since when?"
"I don't know," Karma said shyly. She was peeved with herself. She wrestled her hands away from Amy and turned away from her to hopefully hide.
"Karma…" Amy followed her, more carefully now. Karma had walked to the kitchen and pulled a jug of homemade wine out of the fridge. Amy watched her in near disbelief and felt how alien Karma seemed. Karma didn't drink? Karma hated booze. Amy watched as Karma put her large glass down and raised the jug up real high to impressively pour a large amount inside almost dramatically.
"You want some?" Karma asked once she was done.
Amy just stared at her and shook her head no with her arms crossed and her face almost solemn.
"Since when do you casually drink?"
"I dunno," Karma said. "Since now, or a while. Two months ago I guess..." Karma tried to play it off… The truth. She couldn't look at Amy. She held her head while inside she tried not to do the math.
When it started it was the day that Reagan and Amy got back together. Amy had left right after telling her and Karma got so drunk that night that she didn't even remember when she had fallen asleep or what she had done right before. All day at school the next day she had held her head and tried to forget.
"Two months ago," Amy muttered. She wasn't stupid, she knew what that meant.
"Why did you lie to me?" Amy asked. To her it was still simple, Karma just didn't want Amy married. If the shoe was on the other foot, Amy would feel the same way too, but she wouldn't be so horrible about it and that was for sure.
"You were so happy," Karma sighed, sitting lazily at the table and leaning her face on her hand as she drank at a loss.
"I… I won't do it then," Amy said, deciding it. She had been so busy with things she hadn't even thought about how she would feel if Karma and Liam were the ones getting married. She'd feel horrible. She'd hate it. She'd drink too.
"No," Karma said, perking up. "This is for you, Amy. You have to do what you want."
"We always talked about this stuff, it was always something you got excited about. I can't go through with this if it makes you upset."
"Amy!" Karma said getting up and hugging her from behind, loving her. Amy just sat in her chair and took it, she was so confused and almost pissed at herself for not thinking about this until now.
"It's because of the break-up huh?" Amy asked.
"I think so," Karma said. Reagan had cheated and that wasn't something Karma could ever overlook. They'd only been together a few months and Reagan had already gone back to sleeping with her ex. It was fucked.
Like, Karma got it, because she would understand if Amy was still into her, but still. Because she was Amy's best friend, Karma had to see Reagan as this person who could potentially ruin Amy in every way, just break her in two. And that's all Amy was thinking now about Karma's motives. Amy definitely wasn't thinking the truth. She didn't know that Karma had been pining for her. I mean, how could she know? Karma was an excellent liar when she wanted to be.
"Well, what if we put it off?" Amy suggested, trying to make her happy.
"It's my shit, Amy, not yours."
"I know but-"
"I will not let you put this wedding off just because I can't handle it. That's not allowed," Karma said, holding Amy close and stroking her head.
"Fine," Amy sighed. But she wanted it all and that's why she had been SO excited. The wedding was supposed to make Karma happy too, not just Reagan, not just her.
Amy spent the rest of the night ignoring all the questions she wanted to ask.
They went to bed together real early, slept together with Amy cradling Karma and spooning with her because she hated that she made her feel bad and just loved the feel of her in her arms like old times, calm and safe, it was the only thing that settled either of them what with Karma randomly crying and all.
In the middle of the night when Karma woke up, she took a shower for no reason and let the hot water seep over her.
"What am I doing?" She asked herself out loud.
She wasn't aware that Amy had noticed her up and about. Or that Amy had stolen her way inside the room because she wanted to know too, she wanted to know what Karma was doing, thinking, feeling. For once, she did not know.
"Are you okay?" Amy asked. She had been sitting on the toilet seat cover and wondering that exact question before Karma had given her a reason to actually speak.
"I didn't know you were in here," Karma said. She'd been so still just then she even scared herself.
She shut off the water and sat down in the tub while the curtain shielded her.
Amy listened and heard as Karma ran a bath instead and the tub began to fill.
"Were you cold?"
"No…" Karma said.
Sometimes Karma would just take baths when she was cold. Amy knew that about her.
Karma watched as the level of the water in the tub began to rise and hit the curtain. She pushed the curtain out over the tub but refused to pull it back so Amy did.
"Why won't you talk to me?" Amy asked, looking at Karma's face. Karma tugged on the curtain to close it but Amy wouldn't let go.
"Amy, come on, I'm naked," Karma said, though she was curled up slightly with all her bits hidden.
"Fine," Amy said, dropping the curtain but knowing full well that Karma never cared about stuff like that, not with her. Though it had been a while. Amy tried to think of how long. They used to take baths together, used to run naked together, used to skinny dip in lakes, you name it they did it. Being naked together had always been normal. Amy even remembered sleeping naked before, but they never talked about it because somehow they both probably knew it was wrong even then back when it shouldn't have been.
Karma put soap in the water and waited for the bath too fill up enough so that the bubbles would cover her body completely. When they finally did she opened the curtain and laid back.
"I didn't want to wake you," Karma said.
"It's fine," Amy shrugged. She'd put her heels on the edge of the toilet and held her legs in tight resting her chin on her knees just as she used to do when she was a kid in this room and one of them was sick. Karma was just one of those people who would go through reasonable bouts of sleeplessness and insomnia.
Amy could remember many pensive nights sitting just where she was while Karma bathed.
"We haven't done this in a while," Amy laughed.
"Guess not," Karma laughed back, though she was more sad than amused. She hadn't wanted Amy to wake and follow her, just as she hadn't wanted for things like this to stop happening. What she had wanted was to drown in her sorrows alone, force the heat to pinch at her and make her all whole again.
"You only do this when you're worried."
"Amy, stop, please… I should've sent you home."
"Wow… Nice," Amy said. "Cause I'm a nuisance?"
"No way," Karma said, shifting in the water until she was turned around on her stomach and facing her friend with her arm laying over the side of the tub and her chin resting gently ontop. "I told you, this isn't your problem to worry about, it's mine."
"But it's about me," Amy said.
"It is but it isn't your fault."
"I hate when you're like this," Amy said, letting her feet fall down. Karma watched as Amy placed both of her hands down on the toilet seat and pushed herself to slide off of it and down onto her knees to join her side really close.
"What do you want me to say?" Karma asked. Amy's face was so close to her now, it was tempting not to feel her breath and stare at her lips and gaze at those eyes and think about just kissing her.
"I want you to be happy," Amy said, having the same struggle. Karma looked sad tonight and she'd cried, she'd been unhappy.
"I'm just not a happy person, Amy," Karma said.
"Bullshit," Amy said. "I can make you happy."
"You do," Karma laughed, rolling her eyes for a second before gazing back at her again and making an odd noise that Amy thought she maybe hadn't heard before. And well, she hadn't, 'cause it was a whimper, the kind of noise one makes when the wanting is a little too much and too telling. Karma let her eyes close and she imagined how it would feel if Amy just leaned in and just kissed her.
Instead of lips Karma felt it as gently fingers brushed her cheek.
"I love you," Amy reminded, watching her friend and wishing she could just know HOW to fulfill her, how to stop all of her pain. If only she had known that all Karma needed just then was a kiss.
"I love you too," Karma sighed, using a wet hand to push Amy's forehead away.
Amy shook it off and felt embarrassed, she'd been too close, that was probably weird.
"I'm gonna go back to bed."
"I'll be out in a sec," Karma said. She wanted to have wet hair on her pillow and a clean body for Amy to hold.
When she got back Amy was asleep but Karma slipped her body close to hers and wrapped Amy's arms around her again so that when Amy woke she would know that she wasn't really the reason for the bath.
Part IV
After that day Karma received a pardon from most of the planning. She slipped off to the side and tried to keep herself from acting out or crying too much, but she had to confess that it was more than difficult.
When Amy called her about the dress fitting Karma sucked it up and practically ran to her.
Reagan was supposed to go with her but Reagan had a complication with one of her events and she couldn't reschedule and it was so last minute but it would mean extra money and the two of them really needed that right now since thoughts of a honeymoon were swirling around like mad, though nothing had been planned yet.
Amy had called Karma right away and fought to get her to come. But when Karma organically began to resist again something horrible happened in Amy, she just randomly started to cry. She was at the store in her dress and no one else was there, it was just this horrible moment. Plus she was starting to wonder why the hell she had said yes in the first place. Karma had been right about her being young and about the fact that she and Reagan couldn't even go a whole year without cheating and having a break-up it was just all crashing in around her.
Karma couldn't have Amy crying like that. She rushed right out to meet her, she didn't even care that she'd left cake mix on the counter at her house or an oven on.
"Amy?"
"Karma?" Amy stepped down off the block and ran to her, Karma caught her in her arms.
Tears rushed Karma. Amy was wearing a white dress and hugging her so tight while she wept. Karma couldn't keep herself from crying.
"You look beautiful," she said.
"No I don't," Amy wept, hitting her friend on the shoulder to chastise her for being so fucking difficult and just so fucking absent.
Amy leaned back and looked at her and laughed.
"You have flower in your hair," she chuckled, reaching up and trying to rid it from it's place.
"Oh, shit," Karma said. "Sorry, I'm a mess.." It was more true than she liked. "Come on, lemme look at you," Karma said, putting the focus back on Amy.
Amy pushed off of her stomach weakly and stepped back, straightening out her dress.
"Wow," Karma said. She'd never really imagined it like that, Amy Raudenfeld in a wedding dress.
Karma held at her stomach and stumbled a tad, catching herself quick on a nearby wall. It was such a delicate slip.
"Yeah?" Amy asked, her smile growing through her teary eyes.
"Yeah," Karma said, nodding yes and wishing that this was her wedding and her bride. She felt at the wall until she could lead herself to a chair close by and sit down.
Amy didn't know what she was doing to Karma every day. How she was making her feel as this wedding just kept on approaching, an infinite deadline that just seemed impossible close given all their long years together.
The tailor called Amy back and Karma watched patiently from her chair as Amy stood in the light of the large windows looking fucking gorgeous right there in that dress and all her jitters.
Karma's phone rang and without looking she answered it and spoke. "I can't fucking take this," she said, clutching at that cramp that had appeared again in her side, the cramp that always seemed to return when Amy was around and right near her making her feel weak.
"Sweetie?"
"Yeah, uh, hi. Sorry mom."
"What can't you take?"
"Oh, nothing.. I left the oven on," she said.
"I was just about to ask..."
"I gotta go mom, I gotta go." Karma said, shoving her phone in her bag without even switching it off.
She couldn't take her eyes off her friend and every now and then Amy would look over at her, see her there and smile at her, so happy that she had come, so happy for Karma Ashcroft the only person in her life who somehow always came through when things seemed the darkest.
Karma waited and tried to stay calm but it was hard not to imagine the wedding day and the wedding night and then the honeymoon and all the moments in which Amy was going to be giving herself to SOMEONE ELSE!
While Amy was changing, Karma sort of ambushed her. She couldn't let another second go, not even one, she needed to look at her again.
"Whoa," Amy said, moving closer to the wall as Karma entered her room and sat down on the stool. "What's up?" Amy asked.
"Do you even know how beautiful you are?" Karma asked, and she was dead serious now, not giving one fuck about how strange the encounter might seem.
"Shut up," Amy said, turning from her and carefully letting the dress fall off of her top.
Karma stood up from the stool and stood behind her, looking around Amy and holding the dress back up to her again while she watched, holding her back into her, seeing how it could be… Her bride… Amy could've been her bride…
"Karma… What?"
"Oh," Karma said, dropping the dress from her hands and turning around. She wanted to scream so she covered her mouth and tried to resist the urge.
Amy hurried out of the dress taking care not to rip it. Once she had stepped out of it she turned to Karma and forced her to face her.
"What's going on," she asked.
"I can't tell you," Karma said. And worry sprung up in Amy. Amy hated to worry about Karma because she naturally did that already 24/7. A real problem would mean the worry would quadruple.
"Karma," Amy whined, standing before her and breathing heavy in her underwear.
Karma's eyes trailed down and noticed Amy's body again. It was worse now that Amy was naked. Or better… Karma couldn't be sure.
"You should get dressed," Karma said, almost coldly.
"I need you to talk to me."
"I already told you this was hard," Karma said, almost pissed at her now. She had been trying hard to stay away and not be here. Karma knew enough about herself to know that she couldn't hold off from kissing her for much longer. It would be one thing if amy was married but up until that point Karma knew she could let herself, she knew it'd be allowed.
Without waiting, Karma stormed out of the dressing room and hurried to her car. She waited inside of it. Eventually Amy came out and got into the passenger seat without speaking.
Karma drove her home in silence and dropped her off.
After at least two minutes of sitting outside Amy's house without words Amy forced herself to talk.
"I need you to be here for this," Amy said, clasping Karma's hand and squeezing it. "I won't be able to do this if you're not here."
"Okay," Karma said shortly, clutching her jaw and wishing for the strength she knew was draining from her quickly.
Once Amy was inside Karma broke down and cried angrily. She knew she was going to fuck it all up, she just knew.
Part V
She held off a long time, and there was a part of her that actually thought she just might make it.
But the wedding was in three days and the rehearsal dinner was tonight.
Karma got there late on purpose, she arrived to find Amy laughing with Lauren in an obvious dressing room.
"Can I talk to you?" She said, so sure that she couldn't wait anymore, so sure that she had to do this thing now.
"Yeah sure," Amy said, taking Karma's hand and leading her out of the room and outside to the large white porch that was epically gorgeous and looked out onto grass and then a still lake.
"It's nice out here," Karma said. She hadn't chosen the venue but she approved it, she definitely approved.
"You're shaking," Amy said, feeling the skin on Karma's arms as she quivered. She let her hand slide down and hold Karma's.
Music drifted in from the room where Amy was soon going to be practicing her vows. Amy was wearing that dress and Reagan wasn't allowed to be there for another hour, they would have separate rehearsals of the walk on their own.
"I have to tell you something," Karma said. "But I'm scared."
"Tell me," Amy said, tugging at Karma's arm until Karma fell into her and Amy could lead her into a familiar slow dance.
The music was so lovely and Karma couldn't stop herself weeping. Amy had her in her arms, in that white dress, and God Amy was beautiful.
"You're not talking," Amy said quietly, her voice low and solemn like maybe she just knew.
"I don't want you to hate me," Karma said.
"I couldn't," Amy answered sweetly, knowingly.
"You might," Karma tried.
Amy tilted her head back and stared at her friend, she pulled Karma's hand up to her lips and kissed it.
"Please?" Amy asked, staring down at her with almost awe in her eyes since she hadn't seen her in so long.
Karma stopped dancing and reached a hand up to Amy's face, tracing her lips and then her jaw with her thumb.
"What is it?" Amy asked, her breath catching at the intimate way Karma seemed to be taking her in.
It was just a moment, so brief and right.
Karma pulled Amy in and kissed her her lips finally, letting herself try now because to try later would be too wrong and too much.
"Whoa," Amy said. At first she had fallen but then she pushed her friend away.
Hurt came over her face but mainly confusion.
"Karma?"
"God.. I'm… I'm sorry," Karma stuttered, her face curling up into disgust with herself. This was the lowest of her lows. "I'm sorry," she said again, turning and running away.
"KARMA!" Amy yelled after, catching herself on the rail and watching as Karma ran from her weeping.
Part VI
She didn't even know where she was going but she had to leave and that was for sure.
Amy couldn't follow because Karma ran off into the damp grass and towards her car. She got in so fast and drove herself away.
In a moment of severe debilitation she parked the car down the road and allowed herself to cry enough to get her through until the ride home.
She rushed back to her dressing room, startling Lauren, and grabbing her keys.
"What's going on?" Lauren asked.
"Karma just kissed me," Amy said almost angry as tears drown her face and she left the venue to jump into her car.
Part VII
When Karma got home she ran up to her room fast and slammed the door. Her parents weren't home so at least she could be alone for a while.
She threw herself onto her bed and cried into her pillow, screaming at herself.
"Karma?!" Amy yelled, once she arrived and burst through her front door.
Nervous, not expecting her to follow, Karma held at her mouth up in her room and tried her best to pretend she wasn't there and muffle her cry.
To her chagrin, a small whimper escaped her as Amy approached her door and heard it, her head, throwing the door wide and walking in side.
She was still wearing the dress.
Karma turned and saw. She was shaken and sick with herself.
"No, no," she said, wrapping her arms around her stomach and crying hard as she laid her face back down on the pillow and wept.
Amy watched, confused.
"What's going on?" She asked, approaching her, worried.
When Amy approached she fell and placed her hand on Karma's face. "Karma, talk to me, please talk to me," Amy begged and bled with concern.
"I'm a horrible person," Karma cried. "I'm a horrible person, I can't even watch you marry her, I can't even do that."
"Karma," Amy awkwardly laughed through her own confused tears, "sweetie," she crooned. "It's okay," Amy tried to calm her, it made her smile to see Karma so conflicted about something so simple as a misplaced kiss in a heated moment. But Amy still didn't know, she didn't really know that it was definitely more than that.
"It's not okay. I'm a horrible person," Karma said, throwing Amy's hand off of her only to feel as Amy put it back on her face and tried again to calm her and catch her tears with her soft thumb.
Amy was so close to her and still in that beautiful dress. Karma knew that it was going to come now, it was going to happen. Amy was looking at her face and trying to calm her in the near dark and Karma just knew, she knew it was time.
"It's okay," Amy said and Karma raised a hand to Amy's neck and pulled her into her again, kissing her AGAIN.
Amy fell into it. She laughed at first and pulled back. When she opened her eyes and saw that Karma's eyes were closed all playfulness vanished as she leaned in as kissed her again, this time for real.
When Amy broke from her, Karma kept her eyes shut as she spoke. "You can't marry her Amy." She said.
It was so horrible she couldn't even open her eyes and admit to herself that she wasn't dreaming and this was real and she had actually spoke.
"Karma…" Amy sighed, removing her hand and standing up.
In Karma's room she realized what had just happened between them.
Karma had been so distant lately and now there was this.
Amy looked down at her dress and flared the bottom part out, watching it as it beautifully shifted in the air, so perfect.
It was all going to be perfect…
It was supposed to be.
"I need you to look at me," Amy said, gathering strength.
She looked down at her own hands and noticed that they were shaking but she wasn't sure when it had started.
The kiss had been everything.
It was everything Amy knew it could be and then some because Karma was more, she always was.
"Look at me," Amy said, ordering her, almost mad.
Karma let her eyes snap open. She stared up at her and sat up, holding her stomach still.
"How long have you been wanting to do that?" amy asked.
Her mind had flashed back to that day with the wine.
"Amy, don't," Karma tried.
"Answer me goddamn it!" Amy said.
"A long time," Karma said, taking a deep breath in and feeling as it moved harshly through her throat like shards of glass.
"WHY DID YOU WAIT SO LONG?!" Amy asked.
"I thought I could beat it," Karma said.
"WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO?!" Amy asked, tears rushing her as she held her head and felt the anger now pure as fresh injected venom. "OH GOD," she said. "I need to go."
Karma watched as Amy ran.
"AMY STOP!" Karma yelled.
At the bottom of the stairs Amy nearly fell she was so weak from it all.
"I can't believe this," Amy cried. "I always wanted this but…"
She caught herself and looked up at Karma.
From the top of the stairs looking down Karma felt like the ruiner of all things yet again.
"I just wanted to make you happy and then once you were happy it was like my whole life was a lie and nothing mattered anymore."
Amy stared up at her and scoffed, upset with her friend.
She turned from her and walked away.
Karma sat at the top of the stairs for a while and cried into her hands. She knew she deserved to be left. She knew she wasn't enough for Amy Raudenfeld and she could never be good for her.
All that time had been building and building up to this.
Maybe they just should never have kept being friends after everything that happened.
Karma wanted to drown herself and cease to exist.
She cried a long time before her tears trailed off and a voice broke her loneliness.
"Karma?"
Surprised, Karma stopped sniffling for a minute.
She had thought for sure that Amy had left.
"Karma, get down here now," Amy said.
Her voice sounded like it was echoing.
Karma got up and followed the sweet voice down the stairs and into the garage.
"What are you doing?" Karma asked.
Amy was bent over near the washing machine. She had both hands on the edge of the washer and she was holding her head over the ground and breathing strange.
"I need you to talk to me about this," she said, refusing to move.
"Are you okay?"
"What the fuck do you think, Karma? I'm supposed to get married in three days and you just fucking too my breath away without so much as a warning. How the hell am I supposed to be okay?"
Despite wanting to feel it, Karma felt her heart hop up in her chest. Took my breath away… Those were Amy's words. Amy said that.
Karma walked into the garage and felt strange.
"Wh-ah-what should I do?" Karma asked nervously, nearly laughing.
Amy stood up straight and waited a beat before turning to face her.
"You know what," Amy said, definitely pissed.
Karma felt herself inhale barely, her throat was restricted by just that vibe Amy was sending off.
"What?" Karma asked. She was afraid to even move.
"I think you need to prove it to me," Amy said.
"Ah, ha," Karma laughed without meaning to. "What do you mean?" Karma asked.
"You said you've been wanting me for months. How do I know you're not just freaking out now that the wedding is here?"
"I-... I guess you don't," Karma said nervously. There was always a hole she wasn't prepared for.
"And I can't just trust you. I mean," Amy scoffed, throwing her hand up in blame. "Lets face it," she said, "you've never been good with your feelings."
"Amy," Karma said, trying not to feel insulted.
"Don't Amy me, this is it okay. This is it. I'm going to give you one fucking shot at this and it has to be right here and right now."
"Right here?" Karma asked nervously, moving her weight from one foot to the other.
"Yup," Amy said, nervously, feeling it as the possibility swept over her. Karma could actually try to do something right now.
"Well…" Karma said, taking a step forward and smiling. "Okay," she said, taking another step and hearing her.
Amy backed up without meaning to and a loud bang was heard as Karma placed a hand at her hip and another at her neck, kissing her again, and so hard that Amy's ass hit at the machine and caused a loud bang.
"Fuck," Amy said. She hadn't expected it to be fast. "Sorry," she said nervously, feeling as she shook beneath her and Karma smiled, using her tongue to kiss her again. "Mmmmm," Amy moaned. She felt trapped against the washer.
Karma's other hand was on her stomach and Amy could barely take it just there.
"Fuck," she said again.
"Are you going to let me do this or what?" Karma asked, frustrated as all hell.
"Yeah," Amy said nervously, shaking her head. "Do it," she said.
"I need you to stop fucking moving," Karma said huskily.
Amy liked it when Karma ordered her around. It turned her on and made her heart flutter and her chest heave.
"Fuck," Amy said.
"Shut up please," Karma said. She dipped down and grabbed the back of Amy's legs with both of her arms, lifting Amy up to sit on the washer.
"What are you doing?" Amy asked nervously. And she felt as Karma pushed her legs apart and slipped her body neatly inside.
Looking down, she couldn't help her eyes going wide as she watched as Karma took her hands and slid them both from her knees all the way up her thighs.
"Fuck," Amy said.
Karma was shaky and she had a hunger in her eyes that Amy had never seen.
"Ma-maybe we should go upstairs and I can take this oh-"
Amy's voice was stopped as Karma pulled at the back of her knees and made her body slam against her own stomach.
"FUCK!" Amy near screamed, wrapping her whole upper body around Karma's and accidentally hugging Karma's face tightly between her breasts. "Oh shit! I'm so sorry." Amy said, trying to be gentle and push her back.
"Don't be," Karma said, biting her lip and nearly shuttering.
"Okay, okay, I get it now Karma. I believe you okay. I believe you."
"You don't even know," Karma said, shaking her head.
She kept on running her hands up and down Amy's thighs, feeling those legs and the shakiness of her girl that happened just from her touch.
"Fuck, Karma," Amy said, barely breathing. "Stop, please," she begged. "Fuck, stop," she begged.
"You told me to prove it," Karma said. "And I reeeeeally wanna prove it Amy.. I mean.. Reeeally."
It was hard to stop touching her.
Just as it was hard for Amy not to completely orgasm from the small things that Karma had done.
"Please?" Amy begged.
"Fine," Karma said, noticing Amy's hard nipples through her beautiful white dress. She held her hands up in surrender and backed away.
From afar, she just stared at Amy up there on the washer, her dress pushed up just short of her underwear, and her face all flushed from something she obviously didn't think would actually happen and especially not today or like this.
"What do you want me to say?" Karma asked. "I reeeeally tried."
"I don't think I've ever been this fucking turned on," Amy confessed with a certainty. She was trying to recover but it was hard knowing now what she knew.
Karma sighed and walked away. She took the stairs one at a time and began to strip her clothes off and leave them in a trail.
"I'm not saying you can't marry her," Karma said. "I'm just saying if you wanna fuck me right now I know I want you too."
"Fuck," Amy mouthed to herself, so wet and turned on that she could barely make sound let alone calm her breathing.
She got down off of the washer and stood for a moment in the dark of the garage. Her legs felt almost foreign and she could still feel the touch of Karma's hands on her thighs.
She closed her eyes and retraced the places Karma's hand had just been. The delicious feel of it just returned like it had never left.
Everything seemed a mess, it always did.
But this was one thing she knew she wanted.
Gathering herself up, she made her way towards the stairs.
As she rushed up to meet her she unzipped the back of her dress and once she was in the room she let it fall.
"Close the door," Karma said, she knew it was going to happen after all of that.
And then it did.