VII
That final time of the pregnancy was not calm at all. Mairon already didn't sleep at night, anxious, thinking that any time the childbirth would begin and with it the end of his life in Arda. Sometimes she cried and sometimes she stood all night long observing Melkor, who could sleep, because she thought it would be the last time of seeing him. She kissed him on the cheek, on the lips, told him "my love" and didn't want to be apart from him.
At the same time, during the day she went to the building in Dorthonion and gave many orientations to Thuringwethil and other servants to continue her work. They thought it would be necessary because after the birth Mairon would rest a little from the stronghold service in order to take care of the child - but she was doing this because she expected to die.
Until one day that agony was over. Mairon was in the fortress giving some orders as always, when suddenly she felt the water falling, as the midwife told before.
"It has started", she thought.
She ordered some messengers to call the midwife and Melkor, who told he wanted to watch the childbirth in person. She breathed deeply. Would she had done everything right? Given all the instructions to her subordinates? Said enough goodbies to Melkor? Melkor...
She wanted to cry, but she didn't, for she was in front of many others. Hadn't she cried enough? Hadn't she had enough? She served to the vala she loved - and more than this, she married him, she would give him a son... she was loved by him. She lived millenia by his side. Why should she complain? She should be happy because of this. And now die happily.
Comforted by these thoughts, she felt finally less anxious. Less opressed. It was a duty to perform. She felt better now.
When Melkor arrived with the midwife, both were all attention toward her. The vala didn't stop asking how she felt, and strangely Mairon was feeling well. It was so strange. She thought it was odd to feel so well before dying.
But she didn't talk about this. The three and some more assistants went to a room previously prepared to the birth. They put Mairon lied on the bed. Melkor didn't stay away from her neither for a second, holding her hands inside his own.
- My dear, are you already feeling the contractions?
- Still not. I mean, yes, but they are very weak.
The midwife told them:
- In the beginning they are very weak indeed. After, when they become stronger, it will be the time to push. But you can wait, it will still delay a little. I mean, if the birth would be the same as it is for the humans.
Melkor sighed, almost relieved. The birth had already started and nothing tragic was ocurring. Giving attention to such oracles, when it could be only a mistake...! Yes, he was optimistic. He would go out from that room with his wife and son, both well.
Mairon stood a little time more that way, thinking all of that was being very easy... talking to Melkor friendly, almost forgetting about the prevision, thinking it was not so terrible. But soon the harder contractions came. The pain intensified, and the frequency of the contractions too.
At this time the midwife came closer to her and started counseling her.
- Breathe deep. Yes. Now push harder. Yes, harder. Until the contraction goes away.
They stood like this for some hours. Mairon started sweating, while Melkor cleaned her forehead with a wiper. The midwife and her assistants became greatly surprised, for they didn't expect the Dark Lord to be so kind even with his own wife.
Everything was still calm, all within the conforming. Until the time the contractions became too painful... Mairon felt like if she would be split in half, and didn't know if that would be nomal. The fear of the prevision fell over her, but she didn't say anything for not worry Melkor.
She remained pushing hard, but the tone of her voice betrayed her. She yelled full of pain, and Melkor noticed that.
- Sweetheart, is it very difficult?
The maia breathed in deep gasps and between one and another he could finally answer:
- A little...!
The midwife continued giving orders:
- Push. Breathe and push.
She followed her orientation. But in a determined moment the pain became so hard she grasped Melkor's hands with intensity, trying at least dispersing some energy with this act. Melkor's hand burning pained when she did that, but he didn't take them off. If it would for her to feel better, so she could do that...! It didn't matter.
Some more hours passed like this, in agony and pain. In the intervals between one contraction and another, Mairon already nothing said. Only breathed and tried to prepare for the next contraction session.
So much time passed like this, that the midwife gave a break for her assistants to eat something. More of twelve hours had passed and nothing yet.
Impatient and remembering painfully of Mairon's prevision, Melkor finally decided to interfere.
- Is it normal?
The midwife hesitated. She was very afraid to answer, for she feared the anger of the Dark Lord.
- Not much. Most women with this time already have the baby.
- Why isn't he born?
- He is simply not coming.
Melkor felt she was telling the truth, that there was nothing else to do unless staying there and waiting the baby to come. But he didn't come, and Mairon... was exhausted. She thought if her body could bare that, if she wouldn't die still in the middle of the birth, before the child be born, and her effort would be in vain. No... at least the child would survive.
It was thinking like this that she pushed even harder, wanting not to save her life anymore, but only to put the baby out of her body, safe and well. The body that fed him for nine months could not be his grave now. Not before being born and giving some happiness to Melkor. The Dark Lord felt the strenght of the maia to fade away. No, it could not be true.
- Hold on, Mairon... hold on, you will get it!
Already almost not listening to the vala, Mairon only concentrated in havind the child. He held instinctively in Melkor's hands, and the pain of the vala's burnings even didn't bother him anymore. He only wanted to both child and mother could be well.
Some more hours passed this way. One, two, five, ten, fifteen. When they notice, it already passed two days. The midwife was without eating, sleeping, two dark deep circles above her eyes, few times she went out to go to the toilet and drink some water. The assistants were exasperated; the birth was being too long. Melkor's hands were bleeding for being tightly grasped for so long. Mairon wasn't bearing anymore... she was in the limit of her strenght.
When she seemed to succumb, however, the midwife demonstrated a happy look - the first one in many hours.
- He's coming!
- What...? - said the vala, barely listening to what the woman had to say, almost in a trance after all that time in that cursed childbirth.
- Coming. The baby's head is coming out!
- Yes...?
- Yes, finally!
Listening to that, Mairon, who was almost fainting, took a little more of her own forces - the last source that she seemed to have, in fact - and pushed one more time. Eventually, the head with dark hair started coming out. And after the head, the little body of the child came for once.
The relieving took the maia's body. Finally, the pain had ceased. And as she knew, she hadn't been split in two.
Melkor didn't know if he looked at the child or if he could give attention to Mairon. First, he looked at the consort's face. She was exhausted, but definitely alive. She didn't die...!
- Mairon, you survived...!
The dark vala kissed the forehead of the partner, but she didn't react. She was too tired for doing anything.
After that he looked at the child. He was really beautiful, and the women got surprised of seeing a child being born with no dirt, no crying, nothing. Neither the umbilical cord they needed to cut, once that Mairon was maia and didn't eat, the feeding of the baby should have been done in other form that they, mere mortal ones, didn't know or understand.
The baby could not be descripted with words; his eyes blazed like liquid gold, his hair was dark as ebony and his skin was white as ivory. It was more similar to Melkor's skin, once that Mairon had a golden-like one. And the more impressive thing, the baby didn't cry. He stood quiet, only observing all the present ones and already studied them as if he could already understand them. He was the first baby ainu, born, so no one knew what to do with him, what would be the first concerns.
He looked at Melkor and his eyes seemed to tell he didn't want to be in the lap of the women. As if a supernatural connection could bind them, Melkor stood up from Mairon's side and took the child from the women. The baby recognised him as his father, and smiled.
- He is my son...!
And, taken by emotion like he used to be, the dark vala took the baby and went out of the rooms, There, a small multitude of servants was teeming, for the gossips of the difficult and long birth were spreaded. Seeing all that people there, the vala elevated the child in the air and shouted:
- My son was born!
A generalized yelling was listened, as well as clapping hands. But as he listened to that, the child started crying.
- He must be like his mother, who cannot bare a mess. I will take him inside the room!
The comemorations continued in the outside, and Melkor closed the door to muffle the sound. Then, he put the child in Mairon's lap.
- My dear, hold your son in your arms...
Still exhausted, Mairon took him. Melkor wanted to ask if she finally loved the baby, but he felt it was not the time for that. There would have time after...
The baby, smart as he was, differently from the human ones, took the breast of his mother and started sucking. It was all he needed at that time. Mairon closed her eyes, only wanting to sleep.
The vala then talked to the women, who also were exhausted.
- And she, my wife? What would we do?
- She needs to rest. The human women use to have a postpartum period in which she will pass about forty days bleeding. But this birth was with no blood, with no umbilical cord... with nothing of could be normal in a birth. So, we don't know what to do about this. Let her resting.
- Yes, it seems I need to do this. Listen, you made a good job. I will reward you for that. I still don't know what to give you, but when everything passes, I could rest... I will give you a reward. You brought to the world the most beautiful and formidable child Arda has seen.
They smiled and bowed toward the Dark Lord.
- Now you can rest - told him - You are Edain, aren't you? You need to eat, sleep, bath, all of this. Go.
With one more bow, they went out of the room - but not so early they would rest, for all the people outside wanted to know all what happened indoors.
All of a sudden Melkor saw himself alone with Mairon and the baby. He went closer to the maia and kissed her on the cheek.
- You were very strong, my darling.
- Please... do not stay away from me.
- I will not stay away.
- I don't want to die far from you...!
- Shhhhh, you will not die. The worst part already passed. The birth already occured. See, the baby is wonderful. Look how he likes you...
In fact, the child smiled to Mairon when she looked at the child. The baby loved without a reason... without needing a motivation.
The maia closed her eyes, still exhausted. She didn't know why, but his danger sense still didn't pass completely. Melkor left her and the baby resting and started preparing a bath.
- My dear, do you think you are in conditions of coming here to bath?
- Ah, yes... I believe yes. And the child, wouldn't it be better to bath him too?
- Yes. But what is the best manner to bath a baby?
- I have no idea.
- Neither have I.
As soon as the bath was ready, Melkor took Mairon, who brought their son in his arms, helped her to take off the clothing and enter in the bathtub. Then he took the baby from her arms and entered, already naked, in the tub.
It was so strange. Some days before, Mairon still had the child in the womb, and they made everything without him. But now he was born, the caring doubled. Carefully, Melkor took off the mantle which wrapped the child and washed her. He tried to find a position to carry the child without taking him down and bathng him at the same time. It would still take some time for him to be adapted...
Together with the child, the dark vala washed the blood of his own hands, which was spilled because Mairon grasped them in despair when she felt the birth pain. Ironically, who bleeded in the birth was not the mother or the child, but the father.
After that he gave the child to Mairon and bathed himself. While he did it, he noticed that Mairon leaned back in the tub board, still tired, and the baby enjoyed the warmth of the mother's lap to breastfeed. Melkor smiled. Never before he had given attention to those things. He didn't observe mothers or children, but now it was regarding himself, he thought that was beautiful.
After that he bathed the maia, who seemed to be so tired she didn't take any initiative even to be bathed. But Melkor was happy to see her alive. When the birth started being too long, he started thinking perhaps it could be true toward the prevision. No. It was only a difficult birth, but well succeeded.
They went to the bed. Melkor helped them to be dried and to wear new and clean clothing, and the baby was wrapped in a mantle. As the birth was totally without blood, the sheets were clean. The three laid on the bed - the room where they used to sleep was so far, once the fortress was big, and Mairon was not in conditions of walking up and down.
The baby was put on the bed between the mother and the father. He stayed smiling and brestfeeding, looking at both the parents, happy.
- Mairon... see how he is happy. He knows there is love between us. Do you remember once I asked you if he knew?
- Oh yes, this is true.
- I love you, Mairon...
Melkor kissed the consort's mouth and the baby smiled. Mairon smiled back. It delayed so much for Melkor to admit he loved Mairon¹. So much. But now he admitted, that he started trusting again, he loved fully.
It was only then Melkor noticed how much he was tired. There have been two days of distress, but it had passed. Finally it had passed. Finally everything was fine. He closed his eyes and slept by his wife and son's side, eventually feeling a little peace for everything being well.
In the next day, however, he woke up with the baby crying and Mairon calling him.
- Melkor...!
- What is it? I am here.
But Mairon didn't seem to listen. She was in a semi-conscious state, trembling, the body burning with something which seemed to be the Edain's fever.
- Mairon...!
- Melkor, don't leave me...!
- I am here with you, I won't leave you!
But Mairon didn't answer. She only trembled and called for Melkor's name without stopping.
To be continued
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¹See the fic "Medo de amar" (only in Portuguese). The dark vala took literally millenia and needed many, but many proofs, that Mairon was worthy of his confidence. As in the first times he tried to have relations, he even didn't think and proposed them without even inquiring if they were compatible in his ways of thinking or living (Varda and Arien), and also had already being betrayed by Ungoliant, he decided to choose someone by confidence and not for futile reasons or by emotion/impulse.
And with Mairon he chose right... lol!
The fic would be finished in this chapter, but I decided to invent some more confusion. Let's see what will be the end!
PS: answering to "Guy from Finland": the fate of Morgoth himself won't change - at least until the War of Wrath, neither the elves' fate. I am writing a fic named "O filho da escuridão" (the son of the darkness) where Moriel, the son of Sauron and Melkor, is already adult and the story will be a little diferent from the canon version. Melkor will be cast out in the void but Sauron and Moriel will be well succeeded to bring him back in flesh in a new "fána" in Númenor's temple.
OK, huge spoiler now! xD
Kisses to everyone!