Chapter #13:Break up
Four POV
Today is the day. I have been preparing for this for a couple of weeks now. With Tris's advice I know how to break up with Lily. I have been having doubts about our relationship for a couple of weeks and I know its not fair if I am not as committed as she is. So I texted Lily to come over. I know that Tris is going to Elliot's house so that means we will be alone.
"Can you come over, I need to talk to you"-Four (9:45)
"Sure. Be there soon"-Lily (9:46)
"See you soon"-Four (9:49)
"Love you"-Lily (9:50)
I choose not to reply to Lily's last text because it doesn't seem fair for me to lie to her. About 10 minutes later I hear a knock on our front door. When I open the door I see Lily wearing a striped long sleeve top with a black skirt and really high boots, and what I think is called a tomboy jacket?
"Hey, you look good" I say and pull her into a hug. When she goes for a kiss on my lips I move so she kisses my cheek instead. She looks surprised by this action but doesn't say anything. I then lead her to the living room and we sit down on the couch. I see Tris coming out of her bedroom she gives me a smile then walks out the door. My palms start sweating. I'm really doing this?
"So, I have been thinking" I state, she looks at me confused. I can run 5 miles without breaking sweat but breaking up with my girlfriend is a completely different story.
"About?"
"Our relationship" I say, her mouth drops open, like a fish.
"Oh" She prompts me to continue.
"I think….. I think maybe.. we should break up? I don't feel that connection anymore" I stutter. I see tear welling up under her eye. It breaks my heart that I hurt her, but I don't love her anymore.
"What?" She sounds dazed.
"I'm breaking up with you, I have been having doubts about our relationship for a couple of weeks. I shouldn't be in a relationship if I'm have doubts" I honestly say, but I try not to be to harsh.
"Its Tris, isn't it?" She finally grasp what I'm trying to tell her.
"Partly yes, but this is mainly about us" I don't want her to think that I'm breaking up with her for Tris. But you kinda are? Aren't you.
"We could make it work" Lily says with new determination,
"I'm sorry, I don't even if there is an us anymore." I stand off the couch, moving towards the front door, hoping she would get the hint to leave. But she grabs my arm and pulls me back, holding me down so I can't.
"Please don't leave me. I love you" Her lips start quivering, her eyes start dripping tears every couple of seconds.
"Please don't make this harder then it is. You deserve someone who is going to love you forever" I push of the couch, I pull her into one more hug.
"Did you ever love me?" She ask, but I can tell she's hesitant and doesn't want the answer.
"For the longest time I thought I did. But I realized that I was in love with the idea of being in love, but I can say is that with the bottom of my heart that you are a very special person. But the answer is no" I say truthfully. She breaks into a sob. I rub her hair hoping to ease some of the pain she is feeling.
"Goodbye" I say and give her one last kiss on the cheek.
"Goodbye" She says then walks out the door and out of my life, Forever.
Tris POV
Oct 19, 2014: Journal entry #2
A couple weeks ago I found out that the reason I don't want to be with Four is because I don't want him to leave me like my brother did, having someone so important to you and them just leaving is not something I will ever go through again. Four is the only person I got now, and I probably won't survive if he leaves me and that chance will only increase if we date. I know that I should trust Four but if I can't trust my family who is supposed to love me unconditionally how can I trust anyone else. I just a scared girl living in the past when I should be living in the future.
Four offered his heart and I turn him down because I was afraid he would leave me like my brother did. Its completely bullshit. I should be able to live my life not in fear. But I can't. I still remember the day my family left me. I will never forget it, since I was 18 I had a lot of legal stuff I had to deal with. Medical bills that were for my parents, plus my own. I envy my brother because he got the easy way out. He couldn't deal with his messed up family, I guess. I will never forgive him, but its not like I will ever see him again. But that doesn't mean I don't wonder where he is.
Four has talk to me a couple of times about how the best way to break up with Lily is. They are meeting today while I'm with Elliot. He's been nervous about ending a year long relationship, anyone would be, but it's something everyone has to do once in a lifetime. Even if Four and I decided that we should be just friends doesn't mean he should be in a relationship that he isn't happy in.
-x-
I close my journal I put it on my bedside table. I hear the front door open and bits and pieces of Four and Lily's muffled conversation. I check my phone I notice it's almost time for my to meet up with Elliot. I'm still in my pj's because it about 10 am and I don't have work today. Changing out of my pj into black leggings and a light grey sweater that ends mid thigh with a black jacket and brown infinity scarf.
I grab my bag and head into the living room where I see Four and Lily sitting on the couch in deep conversation. Four see's me and I give him a reassuring smile. I soon head over the address Elliot gave me. After the 10 minute of walking I knock on a grey door thats located on the 5 floor of an expensive looking apartment building complex. When the door opens I'm faced with Elliot smiling at me.
"Glad you could make it" Elliot says. He pulling me into a hug and kisses my cheek. I giggle and follow him in his apartment. Which I was correct about looking very expensive.
"Glad I could make it" I return. He leads me into his living room/kitchen and tells me to take a seat on the couch. Where I take a good look around his place, this is the first time I have been to his place. I see a toy chest in the corner of the living room, I almost forgot he has a child. How can you forget that?
"Where is…" I start to say but I remember he has never told me his child name. He seems to pick up on it.
"Lita. And she's out with my mother now. They are shopping for princes dresses" He smiles just thinking about her. It clear to me that he loves her as much and possibly more than a father should.
"If you don't mind me asking, where's her mother?" I ask nervously. Something flashes across his face but he covers it quickly. He takes a deep breath.
"She not in the picture" He says dryly, but I'm hoping for more information than that. He see's my curious stare and continues his sentence. "On my second year of college, I got drunk, like I used to do on every weekend, nothing special about it. But I had just broken up with my girlfriend, we dated all through high school and my first year of college so it was hard. I started talking to Clare -Lita's mother- and one thing led to another and the next morning I woke with a massive headache and I broken condom on the floor next to me" He shakes his head.
"She took the morning after the pill and we went our separate ways, about a year later she showed up with a baby girl named Lita. To say I was shocked was the understatement of the year. We wanted to work together to raise the baby but about 2 month later she left and never came back" He finishes. I grab his hand in comfort.
"It all turned out okay because now you have this amazing angle" I look at the photo next to the tv of them together. I give him a smile.
"How about we have some lunch?" He suggests. I nod my head and we head into his kitchen.
While we are making lunch I ask him a question I have been dying to know.
"When can I meet Lita?" I ask nervously, what if he's not ready. I look at his face hoping to see a reaction.
"Actually, my mom should be coming over soon to drop Lita off. You can meet her then" He says and I almost jump with joy.
"Thats great" When eat our lunch which happens to be his signature BLT.
"That was the best BLT I have ever tasted" I point to our empty dishes, and rub my belly.
"Glad you like it" I walk into the living room and watch some tv. About an hour and a half the front door opens. Elliot stands up to greet his mother and Lita.
"Mother this is Tris…Tris this is my mother Grace" He points between us. "And this is Lita" He picks her up in his arms, she giggles. Lita's wearing a green skirt, maroon button down with combat boots. Wow, a 3 year old has better style than me. I need to step up her game. I walk over to them and level myself with Lita.
"Hello Lita, I'm Tris" She sticks out her hand and I shake her tiny hand, she lets out a small giggles. I give her a megawatt smile .
"Hewo Twiss" She says in her cuter than cute baby voice.
-x-
It's been a couple of hours playing with Lita but all too soon she has to be put to sleep. While Elliot puts her to bed I start cleaning the mess I made with the princess. Elliot then walks in and sits down on the couch.
"Is everything alright" I ask surprised by the sudden change of mood in the room.
"Um… I have been waiting to tell you something but I'm nervous about your reaction" He gives me a cheeky smile.
"I'm sure whatever it is we'll be fine" I put my hand over his.
"I'm moving to Washington DC in a couple of months because I was offered a job I can't refuse" He says. My jaw drops. "And I want you to come with me and Lita"
-Never Fear The Night
Chapter 14 is coming
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