Act II: Year 2129

Chapter Thirteen

"Why did Rosalie and Emmett decide to move to Bellevue again?" Edward wondered aloud, fighting the urge to rub his eyes as he stared at the dark highway.

"Maybe they needed to be further away," Alice replied, looking out her window. She sat in the passenger seat, with Jasper behind her. "I wouldn't want to raise a child so close to us, either. We're crazy."

Edward yawned. "Funny, Alice."

"Take a joke, Edward."

"You're not obligated to drive," Jasper reminded Edward. "If you're getting too tired, I'll drive."

Edward shook his head. "No, no," he said. "I'll be just fine. Bellevue is just a little too far. Four hours is a long time."

"We could've taken the CL-110," Alice told him. "It'd be a lot quicker."

"Flying cars," Edward said with a guffaw. "Too modern for my tastes."

"You're so old-fashioned, Edward," Alice said. "Live for now."

"Trust me," he said. "I am."

Bella sat in the other car with Carlisle, Esme, and Jacob. It was silent. Since she had been banished from interacting with anybody even slightly more vulnerable than her for thirteen years like the monster she was, Bella was surprised that they even let her come out to play. They were just visiting Rosalie and Emmett, but those faces would be the newest she'd seen in a while. She saw Edward maybe once a day, while everybody else was around, but it was like she was in prison, and Edward had visiting hours. She hadn't even seen her daughter in thirteen years since she had run away. And knowing Renesmee, she wouldn't want to be found or even looked for, while it was still clear that she was in Denali. She had nowhere else to go, and she wasn't very brave.

Everybody was gone, and so was Bella. Shrunken and excluded and quiet and broken, she could just disappear. Denali didn't seem like a bad place to go.

Bellevue wasn't very interesting. The Cullens celebrated a week early Christmas with Rosalie, Emmett, and their twelve-year-old son Walter. He had Emmett's hair and Rosalie's face, as well as a lot of love for his extended family. He knew he had aunts and uncles and grandparents; he didn't know he had one cousin (and the only cousin he would ever have in his life), though, because she was gone. Long gone.

Walter got all the love and all the presents, so the celebration was a success, but Bella found herself distant. Edward stayed far back, too, but nowhere near Bella. They were one and the same, but they chose - he chose - to coexist without each other. The whereabouts of their daughter were on both of their minds, but they couldn't bring her up without immediately blaming each other. It was all he said, she said at this point. So they coexisted separately.

It was a fucked up holiday.

Early Christmas morning, Bella found herself lonelier than ever. She planned on spending the day with most of her family in the main house, but she was far too empty and far too removed. Maybe she felt this way because it was the first Christmas in a long time that she was positive Renesmee wasn't coming home. All hope was completely gone now.

Besides Renesmee, Bella missed her parents the most. She knew she had lost it when she started calling them. The numbers had been disconnected a long time ago, but Bella dialed the ones she had last known, anyway, starting with her mother's.

Into the dead line, Bella started weeping. "I'm so sorry, Mom," she said. "I wish I could tell you I'm sorry, and I love you. I wish I talked to you more. Phone calls weren't enough. I could have visited a hundred different times. I could have stayed indoors. I didn't have to disappear after my wedding. I didn't have to lie or make excuses. I love you, Mom. I wish you could teach me how to be a wife, to be happily married. I'm failing, Mom, I'm a fucking failure. I'm so sorry. I love you and I'm sorry. I wanna be happy, Mom. I wanna do this right. I love you, I love you, I love you. I'm sorry."

She apologized sixty-seven more times before calling Charlie's old number, and she weeped even harder, wishing she could cry just so her weeps meant something. "Dad," she said. "Thank you. Thank you for raising me right in the best way you could, raising me so I didn't have to run away. Thank you for not being a fucking trainwreck like I am now, and bringing your kid into your bullshit. I love you, and I'm sorry. I don't know how to raise a person. I drove the only child I'll ever have away. I didn't take care of her enough. I didn't love her enough. I'm sorry. Thank you for taking care of me, and loving me. I'm sorry."

Bella later realized that the worst part of all of this was that being happily married and successfully raising a child could not coexist. That was definitely the worst part.

She sobbed "I'm sorry" until they were practically screams, and her phone was long dead. In the middle of her sobs, Edward - of all people - burst into the cottage and rushed to where she sat in front of her window. He wrapped his arms around her like she wasn't made of stone, and ruffled her hair like he still loved her, trying to calm her down. She whimpered "I'm sorry" into his chest, and he didn't tell her that there was nothing to be sorry for. He didn't tell her that nothing was real. Instead, he told her that it was okay, and that she was going to be okay.

Within hours, she was okay, and no longer as dissociated as she had been. Edward stayed with her until the sun went up. He didn't try to give her advice or anything; he understood.

When his stomach growled, Bella expected him to leave, but to her surprise, he stayed. For the first time in thirteen years, Edward decided to eat breakfast at the cottage. It was more Bella's house than anything now, but thirteen years was a long time to be angry and frightened, even for them. She was usually around for his meal times, but it was never just the two of them. Not since the accident.

Once she got herself together, Bella pulled out all the big guns for Edward. Even though she hardly knew him anymore, she still loved him and hoped he was okay because maybe he felt the same way about her, based on his actions earlier. She couldn't ignore that background feeling; it would always be there no matter how hard she tried.

"Coffee?" she asked him.

"Yes, please."

She poured coffee into his mug and then sat down across from him at the table. Watching him eat, she couldn't help but notice how handsome he was. He looked about thirty years old now, and he had aged well. He longer looked like the seventeen-year-old boy that she had fallen for in high school; he looked like a man now, with stubble and a more prominent jaw line. He was brand-new. It both dazzled and dizzied Bella.

When he was finished eating, he put his plate away, and he didn't leave. Instead, he sat on the couch, hoisting his feet up onto the glass coffee table. This morning was full of surprises for Bella. He started to get comfortable as he turned on the TV. A Christmas Story was on. A classic.

"The Christmas celebration's waiting," she reminded him. The longer he stayed, the longer she'd ache, and the more upset she'd be.

"That can wait for a minute, can't it?" he asked.

She turned down the television. Then she crossed her arms and looked down at him as she stood. "What's going on, Edward?"

"It's Christmas," he said.

"And?"

"I have something for you." Before she could say anything, he pulled out a small silver box from his pocket and offered it to her.

She stared down at the box, not really surprised and not really happy, either. Jewelry, she thought. It's like he doesn't know me at all. She grabbed it, though, and then opened it. A necklace. Sweet. He stood up to put it on her himself, and she graciously thanked him for the present. She felt a twinge of guilt, though; she hadn't gotten him anything for Christmas. It just hadn't approached her mind. She had never thought he would try to be real with her anymore. And even though he was trying now, it still felt undoubtedly fake.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked her.

It's like he cares all of a sudden. "I'm thinking about how peaceful this is," she said, not sure if she meant it. "Just you and me, right here."

"Are you still stressed out?"

She nodded. "Very."

He wrapped her up into his arms for a hug. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

No, you're not. You're never sorry. You only checked on me when I was bugging out because you couldn't sleep. "You're fine," she said into his chest.

She broke away, and looked up at him. "What are you thinking about?" she wondered.

"Honestly?"

"As honest as can be."

"How much I want you right now," he admitted.

She bent over on to the glass table in the living room, and he simultaneously pulled down her leggings, revealing a gray thong between her ass cheeks. He greedily grabbed and squeezed them as she quickly pulled off her top. She then undid her bra and pressed her bare torso to the table. She wore nothing but her thong and new necklace.

He could never get enough of her ass. It was just perfect for him, and he could grope it for the rest of his life, but he had to get somewhere before it was all gone.

After taking off his clothes, he leaned against her so he could move her brown tresses out of the way and over her right shoulder, and then he put his lips to her bare neck, keeping his hands on her ass. She felt him harden behind her, and subtly pressed her backside closer to him.

Swirling his tongue into her cold, glassy skin, she groaned and rolled her neck. "God, Edward," she whispered.

"Do you like that?" he asked, his mouth still at her neck.

"Mm-hmm."

Soon, too soon, he moved his lips to her back and planted kisses as he moved downwards. Before she even knew it, her thong was down to her knees, his head was between her legs, and she was rolling her hips so he could breathe her in better.

"Oh my god," she moaned.

As he stroked himself with one hand and squeezed her ass with the other, he mouthed French words between her legs, and slowly moved his mouth from her core to her ass, which he had never done before.

So unfair, she thought. He's trying all these new things while he's human. What a fake. What a villain.

It wasn't like she was going to make him stop so she could tell him, though. He was being nice, she was being submissive, and they were fucking while A Christmas Story was on. It was a little too perfect.

He kissed her there now like he would on the mouth, effectively branding her. She was his. Even if he was no longer hers, she was definitely his, all because she wasn't strong enough to deny him. She hated to lose, but she hated to be without him more. And after thirteen years, she needed him.

He tasted her for a few moments more before getting back up on his knees and putting both hands on her hips. She groaned when he entered her, and bucked her hips in the most gentle way she could. He took it as rough, and promptly smacked her ass before picking up speed.

The glass table rocked in rhythm to his grunts and her cries. They were too good at being indulgent - or at least he was. He wanted to etch mine into her marble skin, over and over, so there would be no more confusion. Just the evidence. When he had her just the way he wanted her, she was his. All of her was.

And she was okay with that. She wasn't that strong, anyway. She was his.

With every thrust, her nails dug into the glass. She felt it cracking, but she couldn't bring herself to stop, and he didn't seem to care, anyway. He was too busy indulging.

When he was on the edge, his breath was hot and heavy on her neck and her moans could be heard from anywhere in a ten mile radius. He came, shuddering so much that she did, too. They could hardly hear the table shatter under their noise. Bella landed chest-down in a bed of glass, and Edward was behind her, still breathing hard.

"Oh my fucking God," he whispered.

"Did you like it?" he asked.

She hesitated, biting her lip.

"Did you?" he pried.

"It felt good," she admitted, "but it wasn't what I was expecting."

"What did you expect?" he asked, not sounding defensive yet. "You know I'm human."

"It's hardly that," she lied. "I had sex, but I expected love." The second part wasn't a lie. She was becoming real again, because who she had just been with wasn't Edward. Whoever that was just wasn't anything like him.

He only stared at her, his green eyes pensive and unpredictable.

"I know that you know flowers and chocolates aren't a big deal to me," she said, "but that wasn't love, Edward. It was nowhere near it. I think… I think I just fucked a stranger. Jewelry and anal sex - that's not me, Edward. And that's definitely not you."

She noticed that he wasn't staring at her, but he was definitely staring through her.

He didn't see her at all.

He didn't want to.

All of the sincerity and sweetness that he had used to comfort her in the early hours of the morning were gone.

It's like you exchanged romance for sex. It's like you were full of artificial love to give out for free just so you could empty yourself out.

"And I know you love being human," she continued, "but you can't choose to be so fake, and to love me second, and then expect me to be complacent."

The defensive streak was getting into him again. And because she was right in that he certainly did use faux romance in order to get sex, he decided to stray away from the topic at hand. He was good at that, and good at being broad.

"Isn't it enough," he began, "for me to live a long and happy life with you?"

She nodded. "It used to be," she replied, "but I'm not a fool anymore. Edward. This isn't what I want, or anywhere near what I expected. It's not fucking fair."

"Listen," he told her. "Can't you see how almost perfect this is? You've got me; you'll have me for such a long time. If you would allow yourself to be happy, then you will be. This is almost flawless, and you're ruining it."

"I need you to understand something, Edward. I need you to truly and completely understand that 'almost' is never enough. It will never, ever be enough, and if you think that of me, then you don't know me at all. In fact, you would be better off thinking I never existed."

A/N: If you're feeling uneasy but slightly nostalgic, you should. This story is clearly uneasy and does feature some elements of OG Bella and Edward. I uploaded this chapter from my tablet, so if there are more glaring, horrid mistakes than usual, you know why. I'll try to update later this week.

Thank you,

HS