End Notes
I'm not a seasoned professional at Bella x Edward fanfiction, and it's not even my favorite pairing (yet my most popular - and embarrassing - story to date is one about them, ironically), but when I had the idea for this story, I couldn't leave it alone.
One day in October of 2013, when I had been on a long break from fanfiction writing, I was talking on the phone with a dear friend. I was goofing around when I asked, "What if Carlisle could come up with an antidote to vampirism?" Immediately, we got the science parts figured out (where my creative license regarding science comes in), as well as the title. I was in love with the basic idea of the story and the name. "Remedium" rang in my head for months before I even started writing it.
When I mapped out the plot, I did not expect the story to turn out this dark, but I am actually proud that it did. I don't like to do just one thing in regards to my stories, but I'm always growing as a writer. Writing is my favorite activity, whether it's fanfiction or not. I write poetry, FIRE essays, and sometimes even music. But with fanfiction, I know I've done dark (examples: Gods and Monsters; various one-shots from early 2013), and I know I've done light (examples: Kinda Outta Luck; Cleansing). I had the idea that Remedium would be dark, but not THIS dark. I'm not ashamed, though. I'm glad it turned out this way, dense and precise. It's been a wonderful experience.
As I started writing this story (and dropping it, and then picking it up again), I had a good idea of the readers that I would be dealing with. Jacob fans are always insightful and here for a good story, so I had no worries there, but Bella x Edward fans, I swear... Bella x Edward fans are some of the hardest people to please when your story's not a cutesyfic with human Bella and human Edward involved in various human shenanigans (no shade, though). And naturally, people don't like to see their favorite pairing couple suffer, especially in the way that they do in Remedium, and I know the characterization wasn't my readers' favorite thing in the world. But I can live with not pleasing everybody. I just wanted to tell a story that's been in my head for a long time, and I wanted to tell it beautifully, whether or not the characterizations were beautiful or not.
The characterizations of Bella and Edward in this story are products of my recent fascination with the domestic noir genre (since I read and saw Gone Girl, I've been obsessed, I admit), as well as personal experiences of toxic relationships and watching them unravel in real life. I have two methods of coping with stress, and the healthier one is writing. Writing people unravelling is a lot nicer than seeing it happen before me. In the time that I've been writing Remedium, my personal life has constantly been stressful in regards to family, friends, and mental health. I'm happy to release all that stress in writing. Writing kills a lot of time, as well as a lot of stress. So if you're upset with the story overall, I'm sorry, but I wrote it for me, too.
So if you stuck with this story through all these chapters, throughout all the drama and tragedy and constant angst and feeling of hopelessness, thank you. Thank you so much. You kept me going, both on here and in the real world. On my worst days, I knew that somewhere, some people were reading my story, seeing me do my favorite thing. That really helped me. When things get bad again, I'll start a new story. I can't wait, but at the same time, I can.
A special thanks to:
-teamjacob0729
-LRK860
-sujari6
-Shamatt0403
-Geneu
-cullenmeadow
-MaryMary123
-FICTIONAL-STAR
-Leria
-Shin Maxwell
-Mercyrus
-PastOneonta
-lundyred
-My wonderful Josh (Master Gaga)
-My wife SeDona (Lady Blackwater)
Mad, mad, mad love,
HalcyonSeasons