Part 3 – Sociology

My students often ask me, 'What is sociology?' And I tell them, 'It's the study of the way in which human beings are shaped by things that they don't see.'

- Sam Richards

Chapter 18

Capitol Plaza Apartments
Apt. #23
Washington DC

June 2012

There had been a delay in London, bad weather and the GM wanted to talk to Shan. Spencer had been worried about that but Dave and Emily said that Shan and Mia wouldn't leave their sight, and he trusted them completely. But he did still worry.

He went home. He changed the sheets on the bed he never used, set out linens for a bed on the couch for himself, cleaned up the bathroom and put out clean towels. He ran to the market and stocked his tiny kitchen for breakfast and late snacks and whatever else an eight year old might like and his...his...

He needed to talk to someone. He needed to talk to someone who knew what it meant to go and then to come back. "I don't even know where to start." He said.

"Start by letting her know she has a place there, if she wants it." Emily said. "Assuming she does. That's the first question, what do you want out of this? And I mean for you, I know you want to help her get through this, but what do you want?"

That was a very good question. "I want my best friend in my life again." He said after some thought. He had his friends, his family, at the BAU, but sometimes he was still so lonely. "I want to be able to spend time with her and talk with her and go out and do things together. And I want to get to know Mia, I want to teach her what I know and see what she becomes. Maybe it's selfish but I just want them in my life." He thought another moment. "I don't know how that's going to look yet, or even if that's possible, but that's what I want. I want to say I still want to marry her, but I know you're going to tell me that she's different now, and what I really want is to marry the girl I remember. So I have to give it time, give her time, and see what happens."

"Right." Emily replied.

"But I also want to be there for her. I already failed her, I need to see if I can make it right somehow."

"You failed her?"

"I should have trusted her. I should have believed in her and when she stopped writing I should have known that something was wrong and gone to help. I didn't and she had a hellish experience with Mia and was held virtually captive by an Unsub for eight years because of it. That's my fault Emily; I don't know how I'm going to make that right."

Emily was quiet for a moment. "You know, right now I bet she's blaming herself."

"Why?"

"Because she doesn't understand about psychopaths like we do. And because getting her out of there was so easy. She's not going to understand right off that he really wasn't that big of a threat or that we were just lucky that Dave was already in Rome. She's going to think that she should have said something the moment she got that phone; that she should have trusted you to come for her. That she failed you by not trusting you and by leaving you and by making so you missed so much time with Mia."

"No." No, Shan couldn't think that. "No, she did the right thing. Maupin was too close, and I didn't have the kind of...of pull I have now back then."

"Tell her that. Tell her that over and over. Tell her that she did the best she could; she did the right thing and then tell her that she still has a place in your life if she wants it; that you're still there for her and especially for Mia no matter what. And be prepared to repeat yourself over and over again until she feels it in her bones."

"All right."

"And then go find her a good therapist."

"Already working on that. I have a list from the Order so she won't have to hide anything. The hard part is going to be convincing them that someone who wasn't physically captive can still be suffering the effects of imprisonment."

"You'll just have to explain to them that he didn't imprison her body, he imprisoned her mind."

Regan National Airport
Washington DC

As the night wore on Spencer decided he couldn't wait in the house any more. So he went out to the airport, climbed on to the roof of his car, and waited. As he sat watching the planes land his phone went off on a text from Dave. "Someone wants to use my phone."

A moment later. "Hey Billy."

He smiled. "Hey Hob."

"I'm scared."

"You're safe. Mia is safe."

"I know." There was a break, then, "Are you mad?"

"Not at you." That was an easy one. But he thought through the possible ramifications of that question. "I'm not upset about you not saying something sooner, or about not meeting Mia before. I know how people like Maupin operate and I trust your judgment. If you didn't think it was safe then it very likely wasn't. You're both still alive, that's all that matters."

There was another pause. "What about Mia?"

Oh. "Can't wait to meet her. Would have said the same then. I'm thrilled."

"Sure?"

"Sure."

There was a break so long he thought the conversation was over. But then, "He took my ring."

Oh. "I'll get you a new one, if you still want it."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I want it." And with that his heart soared.

There was another long pause. "I'm a mess billy. I feel like everything is falling apart."

"I know. We'll get you help."

"Sure?"

"Sure."

"What can I do to make it better?"

Her insecurity was understandable. "Come home. Come home sweetheart, I kept the best pillow in Avery House for you."

An hour later a plane landed and taxied up to where he was waiting.

When the door opened a few people he didn't know came out first. Then it was Dave, carrying someone very small and wrapped in blankets. He didn't stop, just moved past him to the car.

And then she was there.

He'd thought she was gone.

He'd thought she'd just left, stepped out of his life like his dad had, rejecting him utterly for no good reason. He'd thought they were building a life together based on everything wonderful and she'd just come to her senses one day, realized he was too much of a freak for that sort of thing and moved on.

But that wasn't true at all. She'd been trapped, as much as they had been trapped in that shed on the hike, as much as he had been trapped many times since. Trapped in a web of lies and threats stronger than any chain. But even trapped she hadn't gone, she hadn't rejected him. She still loved him.

And he still loved her. That was why it hadn't worked with Lila, with Austen, why he hadn't bothered with anyone else. His heart was still back on the altar, still in her hands.

And now she was here once more.

She never faltered. She walked down those steps and across the tarmac and straight into his arms. "You're home." He said as he buried his face in the copper silk of her hair once more and her tears started soaking into his sweater. "You're home."