Chapter 22
American Girl Place
Tysons Corner Center
McLean, VA
June 2012
Sophie. Not Mia's imaginary friend, her imaginary doll. "We have to find her!" Mia had insisted. "I promised her that I would find her as soon as I got to America so we could go have adventures together!"
So now here they were, in what Spencer swore was the most perfect place to start looking for Sophie, or so Aunt Penelope said. It was one heck of a toy store. Shannon found a place to rest while Mia went looking for Sophie, her hand safely tucked into her father's. Daddy's girl, she thought.
Speaking of Aunt Penelope. "Hey. There you are." Garcia said as she joined Shan on the bench, and Morgan went to join Spencer and Mia. "How are you holding up?"
"Headache's gone, at least for now."
"Those glasses work for you." She looked over where Mia was peering at dolls through the display. She didn't even notice Morgan putting a little paper band around her wrist. "They have a thing here where you give a heads up for kids who might need a little extra help. Since it's her first toy store I thought..."
"Oh. That's great." Shan extended her arm so Garcia could put a matching one on her, like the one Spencer was now sporting. "First toy store. God. She looks so happy."
"How was the eye doctor this morning?"
"Not bad. She put up with it all well. Of course it was her first time for that too. She's always had trouble seeing the board but I couldn't get the maids to understand. All I could do was tell her to sit in the front and try her best."
"And she did and she did amazing. But that is totally to be expected because she has an amazing mom."
"Hardly," Shan scoffed. "Spencer's done more for her in two days than I've done in eight years."
"No, that is not true." Garcia took Shan's hand in hers. "When there is an Unsub around the most important thing anyone can do is get between them and the children. And that is exactly what you did, and you held it there for eight years. That is enormous. That is, like, the endurance test of motherhood and you did great!"
"Yeah, but that's all I did. I don't even know her that well, and I don't feel like I know the world anymore, or even who I am anymore. If I don't know that what good am I to her? She needs Spencer now, not me."
"You're her mom. She is always going to need you. But right now she has other people who can give her a lot of what she needs. Not all of it, but enough of it that you can start taking care of yourself too. You can figure out who you are and where you fit and the more you do the stronger you'll be for her."
"Can I? That's all I wanted, you know, the moment I found out. I wanted to make a home for her, the kind of home she deserves." Shan shook her head. "Hell, the kind of home I deserved, even Spencer deserved. I wanted to do that for our family, but I couldn't..."
"So start now." Garcia said. "I know you feel like you're a mess right now, and that is perfectly normal. Everyone starts out in what they call the Crisis stage, where you feel like everything is going to fall apart at any moment. That's because it's finally over and your body starts to let go of everything you've been holding it all this time. You won't feel like this forever sweetie. And we are going to help you get through it and build the home and family you deserve and then figure out all the rest. It is not too late."
Shan looked over at her, "You sure about that?"
"Absolutely. As sure as you can get."
Some instinct got Shan to look over at the little group on the other side of the room. Where Mia had been happy just moments ago, now she looked pale and wan, was sitting on her father's knee, resting her head on his shoulder. And it looked like Morgan was getting help from one of the women who worked there. "Oh god now what." She sighed.
"Whatever it is remember, you couldn't have known before, you were too busy keeping her safe from the bad guys. We are restarting motherhood from today." Garcia stood up as Morgan joined them. "What is going on?" She asked. "And before you say have you ever, she was too busy dealing with the Unsub so just assume the answer is no."
Morgan thought about this. "Right. Reid thinks her blood sugar dropped. Looks like a little juice will fix her up, but we should get some lunch going."
Shan groaned and dropped her head into her hands. "Stop," Garcia said again, rubbing her shoulders. "You had to keep her safe, that was the priority, you couldn't have known."
"I know. I know. We start over today." Shan got up and went and sat down by her daughter and her love. "How are you feeling bug?"
"Better, I think." Mia said, handing the cup of apple juice back to the attendant. "I got all dizzy. And annoyed." She tuned and rested in her mother's arms. And that helped.
"I noticed." Spencer said. "Does that happen a lot?" Mia nodded. "Do you remember when?"
"Before lunch and before dinner most of the time."
"When I was at work." Shan looked at Spencer with apology in her eyes. "No one ever told me." She looked at Mia. "You said you didn't get hungry before lunch."
"I don't." Mia said. "I get dizzy."
"It's okay." Spencer said. "I think I know what this is and I think it can be fixed. But right now, lunch, for all of us. Including Sophie." He held up a box with a hazel eyed doll.
"But I wanted to get her some pajamas!" Mia said. "And she needs her glasses!"
"After lunch." When did that gentle voice get that strong father tone? It worked though. Mia sighed and got up and followed along.
"I've been looking around this place." Morgan said, trying to break the lingering tension. "You're going to need a bigger apartment.
"I totally need a bigger apartment." Spencer replied.
"The question is, do you totally need us?" Garcia asked. "Because I think I'm going to steal Mom away for some grown-up time."
"Can that include some gym time?" Shan asked. When they looked she shrugged. "The Librarian took two hours off at lunch. When Mia started school I figured I'd at least have a better chance at defending her. Not that I'm any good at it."
"We can work on that." Morgan said.
"We'll need to find one here." Spencer said. "It would be better if you avoided the Priory until Bernard is caught."
"Is that the one you've been using?"
"Reid?" Morgan asked, chuckling, "In a gym?"
"Um, yeah," Shan said, looking at him confused. "We used to ride over to the priory gym every day." She turned to look at Spencer who had a huge grin plastered on his face.
Morgan looked at him. "Oh you have some 'splainin to do."
"We'll figure it out later." Shan said. "Are you three going to be all right?"
"Yeah, we'll be fine." Spencer said. "Go."
But as they went Mia came running up to them. "You will be home for dinner Mom." She said with those big eyes. "Promise?"
"I will always be home for dinner, boo." Shan replied, sweeping her up in a huge hug. "I promise."