Part 4 – Theology

If we take science as our sole guide, if we accept and hold fast that alone which is verifiable, the old theology must go.

- John Burroughs

Chapter 24

Afterwords Café
Dupont Circle
Washington DC

July 3 2012

"So, how do you like parenthood?" JJ asked as Spencer joined the table.

"It's...wonderful." Spencer smiled broadly. His family had been home for three weeks. He'd never been happier. Shan and Mia were off looking at books, along with Henry and Godmother/Auntie Penelope. He and JJ were holding down a table for lunch. "I had no idea it would be this much fun."

"That's because you missed all the other parts, like colic and 3am feedings and diapers." JJ chuckled. "How is everyone doing?"

"Better. As well as can be expected. Mia loves summer camp, Jack is her new best friend, she thinks DC is the best city on the planet, she loves to eat anything but jalapeños, it's hard to tell if she prefers Grandpa Dave or Auntie Penelope more, she's thrilled with her new room, and she is deeply excited about her fish."

"Fish?"

"Yes. She wants a cat or a dog but we thought that a fish would be a good place to start learning the responsibility of a pet. It's a beta, she named him Rodney."

"Rodney?"

Spencer shrugged. "I have no idea. Thankfully we picked up a lot of those play dresses and legging larger than she needed. The leggings are already shorter."

"Leggings. Skirts. As a mom of a boy I hate you. Do you have any idea how quickly Henry grows out of his pants?" JJ said with a smile. "Any plans for school for her yet?"

Spencer sighed, "Homeschooling, likely with a tutor. She's academically doing junior high work, but socially, emotionally and experience wise she's behind her peers, there's no good way to put her in a classroom like that. Hopefully we can work that out over the year."

"Hopefully. Speaking of homeschooling how is Shan doing?"

"Better. Physiologically she's in almost perfect health. She's had a full physical, they said she's in amazing shape, no lingering health problems."

JJ shook her head. "I cannot imagine having to do what she did. When I was eight and a half months I was happy when I could waddle from my office to the conference room. I certainly wasn't hiking the mountains."

"It actually wasn't as bad as it could have been. The children were essentially his hostages, the insurance he needed to force the mothers to do the work and not say anything so he didn't want to risk them, or the women's general health. He miscalculated their daily caloric intake, but otherwise there wasn't that much actual risk. He was relying on them not really knowing what the human body is capable of, and on psychological manipulation to make them think their babies were constantly at risk"

"I cannot imagine." JJ shook her head. "How is Shan doing psychologically?"

"Better? I don't know, I can tell you she has PTSD, among other things, but she's set up to handle it now. She seems to be coping all right. She's seeing her therapist three times a week, which is kind of a lot but its helping. I've been helping her with her exercises."

"Going to be able to handle that when you go back to work?"

"I think so." He hoped so; he only had another week off.

"Okay, it's nosy but I have to ask, how much is all of this costing you?"

"Nothing. The Order covered everyone's back pay for the time Maupin didn't have them on the books, has them on current payroll and is covering all of the medical costs for them and the children."

"She's still working for them?" JJ sounded surprised.

Spencer nodded. "The Order didn't do anything wrong, it was all the Unsub. Granted, she's working four hours a week to help restore the Roman cache, not sixty."

"What's she going to do after that?"

"Not a clue yet. Right now she's focusing on healing."

"She's not thinking about going back into her field?"

He sighed. "Eight years is a long time to be out of an academic field, especially one of the STEM disciplines. She'd practically have to re-start. She's been showing an interest in the humanities, she might go that way."

"Whatever works. Sounds like she's going to make it though."

"She's a strong woman; I have no doubt she will."

"Are we still on for fireworks tomorrow? Is that going to be a problem?"

"No, she's not triggered by explosions. And we're not going to miss Mia's first fireworks show."

They laughed together at that one.

2400 M St.
Apt 7E
Washington DC

Later that night Spencer found himself in the kitchen.

They were still unpacking, of course, still settling in to the new apartment. On the one hand it was a lot more modern than he would have chosen for himself. But it offered everything Shan and Mia could want or need, especially much better security. And it was only a few blocks to both the Metro and Georgetown University, so he really could not complain. And the kitchen was hob fae approved. "I would have." He said.

"Really?" Shan asked.

She was sitting at their new kitchen table, holding a big glass of water. The problem with having an eidetic memory and enduing trauma was that you didn't have to recover memories. They were right there, the moment you thought about them it was as real as if you were experiencing them all over again. If you didn't work to distance yourself from them, to somehow find that balance, it was almost impossible to heal.

So every night they went through it, one day at a time. They had found that if he gave her what she had needed then, if he met her needs, eased her cravings, soothed the hurts now, it allowed her to put distance on that memory, to put it in perspective and lessen its power over her. What she needed, longed for, craved most of all were gentle touches, reassuring words, and cold, clear water.

And sometimes other things. "Absolutely," he said. "It's traditional. Your pregnant wife has a craving and you meet it, even if it means going out in a blizzard for strawberry ice cream and pickles or something." Ah, he had her laughing. "One time we were in El Paso and my boss' pregnant wife found out and asked him to bring home nopales jam. No, really, she'd been out there when she was younger and tried it and loved it and she just had to have some. Of course no one sells it in DC, right? So while the rest of us finished our paperwork and packed up he drove to four different grocery stores to find a jar of jam." And not a one of them had dared say anything to Hotch about it, not even Gideon. Pregnant Haley wanted jam, pregnant Haley got jam. "By comparison this was easy." The therapist had gone over how to do this. "Okay, what do you remember?"

Shannon closed her eyes. "It's hot." She said. "We're sitting under a creosote bush. They finally let us have bottles of water and tossed military rations to us. I think mine is supposed to be something Asian, it's salty and thick. I'm starving, it's food, I'm eating it, but I really want..."

He slid the plate so it touched her hand. "...dormroom sandwiches..." White bread, mayo, sliced pickles and cheap lunchmeat, inexpensive brain fuel that fit neatly in a minifridge and didn't spoil quickly. Tonight it was boiled ham and roast beef.

"...because they meant home." Shan took a bite before she opened her eyes. "This should not be this tasty." Her eyes were glimmering with tears.

"If you had been home I would have made you stacks of them. Out of pregnancy safe ingredients too." He leaned in and pulled her in close and somehow reached back through her memories to heal one more wound out of a thousand. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For keeping Mia safe. Keeping you safe. Doing what you had to do."

"Anytime"

As she nestled into his shoulder Spencer turned his head and spotted someone in the hotel across the street watching their window. It was likely nothing, but he reached over and closed the blinds anyway.