"We're here" the chauffeur said bluntly with a voice so soft that it withered away with breeze of the wind. He undid his seat belt and turned to her, the direction of his head being the only indication that he was acknowledging her presence. Just like what he did with most individuals, his eyes were diverted way from hers in an ever-present sign of both respect and shyness. They set there still for a moment or two; she had yet to undo her seat belt.
"Thanks for the ride, Noel"
She turned to him and nodded, relinquishing herself from the leather strap which tightly set upon her breast as he stepped out and stretched himself after a decently-long car ride, wiggling his legs which had fallen asleep in the small, cramped car. While he waited for her to accompany him, he pulled the scarf under his mouth and unbuttoned the buttons of his winter coat. Coincidentally, he was forced to pull out a handkerchief as he sneezed from the poor weather.
The weather was indeed as it always was when another year was born into infancy: cold, windy, and bitter. The skies were gray most days, today was no different. The days always become dull and bleak in the winter, not only in color but also in the atmosphere of the world which one is surrounded by. Chills, bleakness, and sickness were hallmarks which he had come to be acquainted with since his youth. He immediately regretted making himself vulnerable to the icy wind which pierced through skin and bone, forcing himself to utter a choice word as he buttoned his coat once more and faced the ground to prevent the snow from falling down on his face. It had always seemed to him that the presence of snow made the air seem so much more colder. He could vaguely remember being content with weather which was below zero, however how often the weather seemed to turn to that of a tundra whenever snow fell! He turned around to monitor the progress which his friend was making, glad that he would finally be able to escape the harshness of the outside now that she was walking towards him.
He joined her as she passed him, taking care to rub his hands together and to thaw them out with hot breath. Noel's scarf was finally being put to use once more as it was pulled up above her nose as she pursued her own means of keeping warm. The ground crunched as they walked along the path which was not cleared of the snowfall Footprints adorned the near compound, Addler thinking an ideal excuse for such would be for the task of gathering firewood. Judging from the fact that it was still snowing rather heavily, they had to be fresh. The trees added to the wintry, bleak atmosphere as they presented their dead skeletons to the world for all to see. He had seen birds around even during the coldest days, he had even seen flocks flying by, their honking alerting him and all around that they were flying out to an unknown destination. Perhaps such birds were always present during the winter, but the talk about the world changing, and the "end of days" approaching made him truly aware of it for the first time. He had spent the majority of his time for the past two months indoors, and now he would once again be greeted with the joys of greeting a frosty and frozen morning on a regular basis. He didn't mind the cold so long as he was properly clothed, but ice always proved to be a hindrance to his pursuits and tasks in more ways than one. Frozen windshield, frozen ground, frozen everything.
He took no time in achieving salvation. He looked at the stone labyrinth which looked like a cozy cottage with its frosted windows and warm smoke rising from its chimney. He put aside his anxiety which had built up from not seeing any of the building's occupants for over a month, turning the near-frozen nob of the handle and opening the door. He turned back to usher to his friend to go ahead of him. He was not that competent.
She looked at him curiously.
"Kinda nervous, as I haven't seen you lot in a while. Would you mind leading the way?" he asked with an usher towards the door.
In her usual manner, she nodded with a harmless, meek grunt of affirmation, proceeding to walk in; Addler followed suit. The warm atmosphere which felt to be almost that of a sauna compared to the cruel temperature of the outdoors hit them like an iron. Once again, he felt himself compelled to undo his coat and lower his scarf, taking more daring measures such as taking the scarf off altogether as well. "It's like an oven in here." he proclaimed.
"You'll get used to it" she informed him.
As he finally found himself able to observe his surroundings, he found them most unusual. A plethora of boxes were stacked all around, some labeled and some left without a shred of identification. Most of the stacks went as tall as the ceiling, a good 15 feet from the ground floor. There were so many that whoever put them there had to improvise, placing a few in a most creative fashion so that they might fit in the lobby. The beautiful stone walls were now blocked from view by the mountain of wooden crates. He looked curiously at Noel, who, after recognizing his gaze, turned to him with an equal sense of wonderment, however not for the same reason.
"What's up with the boxes?"
"Winter cleaning"
"Winter cleaning? Don't they usually clean around spring time?"
"What's the point in cleaning around spring time? You spend all your time outside. During the winter you're too bored to do anything but clean."
He nodded in agreement, thus ending the short sputter of conversation. He did indeed hate standing around awkwardly, doing anything would be better than that.
"Noel! Is that you?" called a voice from somewhere in the building.
"Yeah!" she called back. Addler had never seen her raise her voice, even when to simply shout in response.
Felicia came from one of the corridors, an "ah!" escaping her as she fluttered towards the party of two. She inquired into how the trip went.
"Roads were bad" Noel answered firmly.
"Bad, eh? Well, at least you kept dry!"
Addler joined in with a simple "Not quite"
"Oh?" Felicia asked with both intrigue and concern.
"Couldn't find the roof to the kubelwagen" the grey-haired lady explained with as little elaboration as one could conceivably allow.
She gasped. "Noel, perhaps you should change into your fatigues? It'd be nice to get those damp clothes off, wouldn't you agree?" She nodded and went to her room.
With her departure, Felicia turned the remaining person in her company. "Addler..." she said with a facade of a smile, obviously trying to hide something; her efforts were quite visible. "I'm happy to see you back. Perhaps you should change as well?"
He took off his greatcoat, revealing a slightly thinner woolen jacket. "The snow and sleet didn't get down to the coat" he insisted, hinting at the under-layer which was his regular army tunic. She nodded in agreement.
"Are you alright?" he asked, "You seem unnerved." Although it was quite obvious to him that it was he who upset her in some manner which he could not identify, he still went along with the regular and cliché formalities of everyday conversation. Although he was technically her superior, if battlefield promotions were of any worth, he felt her to be the leader of the squad and thus the leader of him as well, his arms being placed behind his back and his head slightly lowered as he felt slightly ashamed for reasons which were yet unknown to him besides the fact that she seemed out of the ordinary, and only towards him.
"Nothing" she answered, a blushful smile returning to her face as she placed a hand on his shoulder. Come, I'll get the rest of the girls, we should have brunch!"
"Since when do you guys have brunch?"
"Well, since now!" she responded, clapping her hands in joy and excitement. "Oh, I'll go get the broth ready!" With that she disappeared down the hall, thus he was left alone in the lobby, looking around as if he was to find some companion to turn to for insight or conversation.
As he made his way down the hall to the dining hall, he felt unnerved. Felicia had an almost unnatural ability to hide what she was really thinking. She always had another trick up her sleeve. She could easily put up an almost-impenetrable facade of joviality and bliss, her true feelings being quite impossible to wrestle out; they were only able to be revealed when she wanted them to be revealed.
-An Hour or So Later-
"Lunch is ready!"
With that the family filed into the small dining hall, sitting down at their seats, Addler's having recently been moved beside Aisha's, to take their meal. The need beforehand for Noel's wet clothes to be washed and a desperate attempt to rekindle a dying fire during the middle of winter postponed the meal to a more common hour of consumption: noon.
"Soup and fried potatoes for us all" Felicia announced, setting a large bowl full of sliced and fried potatoes in the middle of the table. Hands quickly grabbed at the food to be placed beside their steaming bowls of soup. "They're an excellent source of carbohydrates!"
Addler, being one who cared only for potatoes if they were in fried form, committed himself to taking more than the bare minimum serving of what could be considered a meal; this was for him a very rare happening. He looked around the table to observe his companions as he hungrily sipped his spoonfuls of soup. His gaze eventually fell upon Aisha, who was pounding her potatoes into mush with her utensil.
"Haven't you ever learned not to fancy yourself with yer food?" he asked playfully.
"I'm not" she replied with a raised eyebrow. "It's common for us to eat them like this"
"Didn't you grow up in Rome, Addler?" Kureha asked with an argumentative tone.
"I grew up on the Roman side of the border, if that's what you mean."
"So you're Roman? You don't even know your own customs?"
"Kureha..." Rio warned her, a firm glare reaching across the table.
He sighed. "My parents moved 'cause of my dad's job over to Helvetia. Thirteen years later, they had me. Whatever miniscule and unimportant Roman customs they had, I assume they were discarded for the sake of cultural appropriation."
"To think we could've been at Vingt together" Aisha whispered with a chuckle.
Minutes of continuous eating followed, Addler helping himself to numerous servings of potatoes, his companions allowing so generously out of the knowledge that such instances were very rare, before once again conversation struck up.
"Did you miss Felicia's cooking?"
Addler looked up to see Rio looking at him with a curious grin about her. He said that he did indeed, stating the food at Semaine was quite bland. "I'm certain there were bigger rations during the sieges"
"So what was it like in the nuthouse?" Kureha asked once more.
Rio gave her another stare of condemnation, this one having all the intentions of forfeiting her neutrality in order to ensure that civility and politeness would be maintained. Kureha sunk in her seat in the smallest of measures, not willing to expose her embarrassment to the rest of the table.
Addler looked at her with a raised eyebrow, wondering both if she was serious in her question and if he was willing enough to give her an answer. He looked around the table briefly, everyone having hushed their eating in the face of what they knew, all except Kureha, to be a sensitive topic. He decided to humor her; he was all the more happy to inform her. He dreaded the awkward silence.
"Most were crazy or withdrawn, a few were friendly. The frustration of being treated like a toddler who couldn't be trusted to walk himself to the bathroom. The place was enlightened enough to encourage interaction between the patients, englightened enough to let us walk around outside, in the compound, of course, but what sane man would want to spend time with a bunch of crazies? Ai..."
He stopped and turned to Aisha, unsure if she'd be okay with him dragging her into this conversation. His eyes were focused away, as usual, occasionally looking at her eyes for a second to show that he did respect her enough to give her what he gave only to those he felt comfortable around. She blushed and chimed in herself.
"He was always eager to see me, you'd think I was his own mother" she said with a playful snicker.
"Again, any sane man would do the same if he was forced into his own voluntary isolation when confronted with a house full of crazies!" he defended himself."
"And the food was bad?" Rio asked for confirmation.
"As bland was one could conceivably make it. I learned they don't even allow salt for nutritional reasons. How the hell do you make anything without salt!?"
"Excuse me," Felicia broke in, rising from her seat and pushing it in.
"Where are you going?" Rio asked, everyone's eyes turned to the soon-to-be departed.
"I need to get some work done." she explained briefly, taking her leave.
-Not Long After-
Addler approached the door to Felicia's office. He had spent the time since lunch in continuous contemplation as to whether he should approach her and how to do it if he chose to. Why? He knew something was up with her.
He knew it could very well turn into a puzzle game, a game in which one has to interpret the veil of deceit and aversion that Felicia always uses when she wants something to be kept under the radar. It's not necessarily the inability to sense her discontent, but to crack her into submission was an entirely different story. Truth be told, he did consider the possibility that she was adamant opposed to confessing whatever troubled her, however such concerns were dismissed with the belief that he'd pick up on such an adamant opposition.
He knocked politely.
"Who is it?" came the question. He responded with an answer which he had prepared. "Rio wanted to tell you something about that company report you're going to have to do."
Silence reigned for a few seconds before footsteps could be heard approaching the door. The door knob turned and open. "Come in" she insisted with a smile. He had intentions of doing so one way or another anyway, so he was glad that the task was accomplished without a struggle.
"So, what did Rio want?"
"You're smart, you know?"
She looked at him confused.
He sighed. He had for a long while suppressed the free flowing compassionate emotions, especially when it came to an actual conversation. He had for so long indirectly shunned the idea of talking with others about intimate topics such as one's feelings, for he had long ago learned the belief that such topics were largely unwanted, or at least not so much unwanted as they were not something to be thrown about like candy. True, he still possessed the desire to help, but did he possess the ability to remove the awkward anxiety, the biting fear of uncomfortableness to get through to her? He knew not.
"You're not only smart in general, but you're smart when it comes to being able to hide your emotions. You're a master of deception. Is it detectable? For me, yes, sometimes. But is it penetrable? Oh how I wonder."
"What are you saying?" she asked calmly, regaining her composure as if she was attempting to pull the veil over her once more
"Ever since I entered the door, you've been acting weird around me, and seemingly towards me alone. If I've done something wrong.." he took a pause and changed from an aggressive to a passive tone. "I want you to tell me"
"Have you thought that?" she asked, "I didn't mean for you to think it. No, everything's fine, I'm happy you're back!"
He put a hand on her shoulder. "Felicia," he said slowly, his breath heavy and his tone sympathetic and entirely passive and stance on the watch to go on the defense. "I want to respect you and your desire to keep your feelings to yourself. Why? Because I respect you as my friend and as the leader of the platoon. If I'm assigned here, then you are my CO, even if not by rank. But I ask you to consider: I'm the kind of guy who like to settle issues. I don't want a friendship to be hindered by an undisclosed trifle. If there's something bothering you... if not for the sake of our friendship, for the sake of my own sanity, tell me, please."
She looked at him still, her neutral expression turned into a frown that knew the gig was up.
"You shouldn't have left Semaine, Addler" she said calmly and sweetly as she commonly did with all else.
"I need therapy with someone I can care about..."
She took a pause, unsure if she should continue or not. "You needed therapy with a trained professional."
"I don't want to fight," he explained with sincerety, "but I know that Kanata, Rio, and I even believe Aisha would do a better job at fighting alongside me than a doctor."
"We don't know anything about psychology, Addler" she said firmly.
"But I do!" he insisted in response. "I've been schooled in it, amateurly to where I know only the basics of how the brain works, sleep, memory, and the operations of various disorders, but I know enough to solve my own problems. My teacher taught me well"
"He taught you how to be a certified psychologist?"
"He taught me about the theories of therapy" he corrected. "Client-based therapy is the most affective and the most sensible. That's what I need to do. The patient helps himself, he doesn't depend on a shrink to take his problems away, it only creates dependence on either the medicine or the shrink"
She said nothing, but looked up at him.
He put his hands on both of her shoulder, and for one of the rare times maintained unbroken eye contact. "I've been schooled, and that schooling as taught me that a patient needs to help himself."
"I've got this" he said.
She looked at him with solid, light blue eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded.