"I think it's time. Spike and the buffybot can take care of Sunnydale. We can do this. Spike's proven himself, and the Buffybot is way better than… well… when we first started."

"You're right. It is time. Let's surprise Dawny, though. We leave in two weeks."

"Y'see, you can always spot them by the way they walk. Kinda hunched over like." Xander brings his shoulders forward slightly, and pokes out his head. He looks kind of like Amy, the rat.

"Like the way a bad guy walks?" Dawn copies Xander, but brings her hands up and wrings them.

"No, not like that... There." Xander points to a girl across the mall. "See? Nerd. Closet nerd, too."

"Xander, you don't have to convince me. I totally believe there are tons of people who are as big of a nerd as you are."

"No! I'm not, though! Watch me walk, Dawnster." Xander straightened up, walked over to the candy machines, and put a quarter in. Then, he turned and walked back.

"Okay?"

"I don't walk like a nerd or a villain! I walk like-"

"A geek!"

Sighing, Xander tussled Dawns hair affectionately.

"And don't you forget it. Nerd."

"I do not walk like-"

"What in the world are you two arguing about?" Anya had come back finally, movie tickets in hand.

"Nothin, just teaching dawns here how to spot threats. They could be all around, you know."

"Right. Well, I've traded our hard earned cash for these. Where do we trade them for two hours of boring not-hallucinations?"

"An. That's not-"

"Yeah I know. I just wish they were. When I was in China, I used to..." Catching dawn's eye, she hurried to think of anything else but opium dens. "I used to... Fight ninjas."

"Ninjas are Japanese, An. We've been over this." Xander silently thanks Anya for not talking about Opium in front of Dawn. Again.

"Please, how could you tell? They're all short and have those squinty eyes and-" Okay, silent thanking done with. This was probably going to be way worse.

"Anya, come along. Let's get going before someone hears you."

Chuckling, Dawn followed her designated day-sitters into the movie theater.

"Well, I still think we should be watching what we're trading our money for if we're going to go on that awful trip full of mice."

"Um... What?" Dawn looked up at Xander for translation.

"Uhhh An and I are going to go on a vacation. To... An exterminator's retreat. A coworker got us tickets."

"Okaaaaay. That sounds..." Shaking her head, Dawn passed her ticket to the worker. "Totally lame."

Xander tosses his arm around Anya and leads her into the darkened theater, throwing her a look. Anya rolls her eyes and snuggles closer to him.

"Yes, well, Xander assures me it will be fun."

"Okay. I have everything packed." Willow turned and smiled triumphantly at Anya, who was holding up two jackets and a sack lunch.

"That can't fit! There's just no space! Anya-"

"Fine, I guess I'll have to stay behind..."

"Oh give me those." Willow turns back to the bags in front of her. "I'll figure this out."

Rolling her eyes, Anya decided to go to the front room.

"I don't even knew why you think we'll need jackets. It's the middle of summer in Southern California."

"It's just a rule of life, An. You take jackets when you go on vacation. It's like… a thing, I don't know. How much longer do we have before Spike is back with Dawn?" Xander asks his question to Willow, who is re-emerging form the kitchen, holding a bunch of bags.

"Um… half an hour, I think. Okay I'm going to pack all of this in the car. Am I missing anything?" Willow runs over her check list, scratching her head nervously.

"You've done quite well, Willow. Come and sit down for a moment. Xander can load those things up." Giles ignores Xander's look of 'wait, what?' and pats the couch next to him.

Willow drops the bags to the ground and slumps into the couch next to Giles.

"If you're going to convince Dawn this is going to be a good, fun idea, you're going to have to get rid of some of that stress. Try to breathe for a moment. This is all going to be great."

"Oh, Giles… what if it all goes wrong? What if we come back and the house is on fire? Or, Sunnydale is on fire! Or-"

"Willow, please… do shut up. Everything is going to be fine. I've checked every book and talked to every seer, there are no prophecies of anything major popping up in the next three days. So relax, would you?"

"Okay, I'm relaxing. This is me, relaxed." Willow leans back into the couch, and then pops back up again "But what if-"

"Alright that's it. Tara, I'm making her some tea and I might put something extra in it."

"Sure thing, boss." Taking Giles' spot next to her, Tara holds Willow's hand. "It's gonna be great. Amazon, right?"

"Amazon. Right. Me amazon."

"So then, Janice said the greatest thing-"

"I thought you didn't like Janice."

"No, I don't like Janet. Janice is cool. A little slutty, but cool."

"Right. So Janice said…" Spike barely prompted before Dawn dove back into her play-by-play of the evening.

"Ahh it was the coolest party. I still can barely believe they let me go." Dawn practically squealed again, jumping up onto the low stone wall that bordered the sidewalk they were walking down.

"Yeah, well, not like they didn't have insurance."

"Well yeah. Oh, did I tell you? That jerk Janet saw you and said you were like a drug dealer or something. I of course defended you, but now Janet's telling everyone I hang out with druggies."

"She said I was a what? Oh I might kill the bint."

"I don't know what bint means, but I think I'll start calling her that."

Spike chuckled at her for a moment, and then flipped out his lighter.

"What would you do if I started smoking?"

"Bloody tear out the limbs of whoever gave you your first one, drag you to a doctor, and have your lungs removed and replaced with studies about cancer and its effects."

"Uh… wouldn't that kill me just as dead?"

"It'd be a magic doctor." Dawn just laughs, and Spike rolls his eyes. "Anyway, just let me know when you want me to mess with this Janet girl. Could use a good scare these days."

"Gettin that evil itch?"

"Always got that, luv." Blowing smoke into the night air, Spike began to wonder when exactly it had become so easy to talk to the bit.

"Yeah, okay. Spike… what does it mean that you don't have a soul? Like, really? Cuz I mean, I think you're a good guy. And I know of tons of people with souls that are worse than any soulless vampire I've met."

"Yeah? Like who."

"Like hitler."

"Demon."

"What? No way! Was he a vampire?"

"Nope. But he was a demon. Knew you were gonna use him as an example. Not all evil dictators were demons, but Hitler was. The camps were all about that stuff."

"Seriously?" Dawn kicks a rock down the road. "Well, still. Like you said, not all evil dictators were demons. What about them? And, like, murderers and stuff?"

"There's a difference, course, between demons and evil humans."

"What is it?"

"An evil human chooses to lose his soul. Demons are born with a different type of soul, and Vampires… we have ours stolen." Spike takes another drag of his cigarette, and blows the smoke away from Dawn.

"Oh." Is all she can say. Lost in deep thoughts, no doubt.

"Don't worry bout it though. I don't have a soul, but I have my freedom of choice. So I choose to play this side of the fence for a while. Don't know how long that'll last. Don't know what I'll do after that. I don't think about it much, and neither should you."

"Sure thing. I'll just uh… get on that."

"Somethin still botherin you, luv?"

"Do you ever… do you ever wish you had a soul?"

Spike chokes on the smoke in his lungs, and coughs it up.

"What? Bloody hell, no! Never! And be like Angel the Poof of all Poofs? Wash your mouth out. Sides, wouldn't even know how to get one if I wanted. Which I don't and never will. What goes on in that weird little head of yours?" Spike finally gets his lungs working right again, and takes another drag.

"Just wondering. So, anyway, at the party…"

"They're at the bottom of the driveway. Okay, everyone get into places!"

"So I was like 'Chyeah, and I'm the queen of spain!' and everyone laughed so-" Dawn pulled the door open to reveal… everyone? "Uh… what's everyone doing here?"

"Surprise!" They all shout at once, holding out tickets to…

"Disneyland? We're going to Disneyland?" Dawn lets out a high pitched squeal of excitement, and throws her arms around them all.

Spike, meanwhile, turns back around and heads to his spot by the tree. Gonna be another one of those nights.

"This is so cool! We're going for three days? Oh my—when do we leave?" Dawn kept staring at the tickets and holding them close, as if she was afraid they'd just fly away.

"Tomorrow at the crack of dawn. We're all staying here the night so we can just leave tomorrow morning. We'll be at the hotel sometime in the afternoon, and then it's all Disneyland all day!" Willow gave a big smile to Giles, who mouthed told you to her. She couldn't believe now that she'd been so worried.

It was all worth it just to see that smile on Dawn's face.

About an hour later, things got quiet inside the house. They would need their sleep for the big days ahead. Despite the silence, though, there was an excitement in the air that everyone could feel. Including the bleached vampire standing out by his tree.

Spike hadn't known about the trip, exactly. Tara or someone had mentioned something to him about it briefly, that they were going to go away, and he was in charge of the Buffybot. It'd been a week or so ago. No one had elaborated further.

He wasn't mad, exactly. He knew he didn't fit in with them—not really. He hadn't ever been one of the Scoobies. Not that he wanted to, but…

Sometimes he longed for days passed. Days when he truly belonged. When it was him and Dru. Hell, he'd even take Darla and Angelus on some days. Like this one.

Not that things had been much different then. Go take care of the witnesses, William. Go get us some dinner. Let the grown-ups talk. Don't ask so many questions.

Spikes hands started to shake as he let his mind wander to memories long repressed. Taking out a cigarette, he lifted it to his mouth and held it there for a moment.

At least then I was wanted… most of the time.

Bringing up the lighter, Spike tried to get his mind off of it. He looked up at the stars, and wondered briefly what he was going to do with himself the next three days.

BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS

1981-2001

BELOVED SISTER

DEVOTED FRIEND

SHE SAVED THE WORLD

A LOT

He always smiled at the last two lines. Kneeling down, Spike ran his hands over the words. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the daisy he'd given Anya to put on the grave. He couldn't bring himself to attend properly. That all seemed so long ago, now.

"Guess Dawn'll be startin' up high school. Sunnydale High is bein rebuilt an everything. Love ta'v seen your face when it was announced." Spike takes another drink, then stands up. "Well, gotta go patrollin with that dull automaton. Wish I'd never made it. You know that."

Walking away, Spike calls for the Buffybot. He'd prefer to just work alone, but he couldn't leave the thing on its own. Plus, the more demons and vampires saw its face, the less they came out and caused trouble. Which was a bonus for some reason Spike didn't totally agree with or understand.

Spike was a lot happier than he'd like to admit when they all came back. If he'd had a tail, it would've betrayed him.

As it was, he just leaned back against the tree, smoking, like nothing bothered him in the world. He heard the familiar car long before it was close. The buffybot was inside, charging or something. Spike just stood there, waiting.

"Home… we made it." Xander folded out of the too-small car and landed on the ground face first. "The ground. I feel like I've been at sea."

"Let's… unpack tomorrow. Any objections? No? Okay." Willow was the next out. She guided a half-asleep Dawn out of her seat, and was followed by Giles, Tara, and Anya. Xander just stayed on the ground.

"Well. You lot have a good time, then?" Spike couldn't stop his smirk at their appearance. They looked like they'd been the ones fighting demons.

"Good time. Great time. Too good time. Not eating… ever again." Spike opened the door for them, and laughed as each one dragged themselves into the house.

"I'll take her upstairs, Will. Not like I haven't done it before." Spike picked up Dawn easily, who was dead on her feet. "No more… rides." She protested slightly, before nestling into the folds of Spikes coat.

"Got that right." Xander had finally trailed in after them, and collapsed on the floor next to the couch, which Giles was occupying.

"Right, well. The cots in the basement if anyone wants it. I'll leave you all to it." Once upstairs, he took a second to pry Dawn's shoes off before dropping her onto her bed.

After taking another look at the beleaguered company downstairs, he smiled to himself and was suddenly so glad he wasn't a true member of their crowd. For one, mouse ears didn't go well with his eyes.

"This looks like so much fun! I want to go to Disneyland! I haven't gone since I was way little." Mel looks through the pictures, laughing briefly at one with a big guy giving a costumed princess a hug. "Who is this?"

"That's Xander. You've seen him around, I'm sure. He's like… my adopted big brother. And that's Giles… he's like basically my dad. You know Willow and Tara of course, and that's Anya. She's dating Xander."

"Wow, so fun! Where's Buffy?"

"Oh, she was there for the first day but couldn't stay. We didn't get any pictures with her." The lie slips out so easily, Dawn barely notices. She's been having to cover for Buffy's death the whole summer.

"Where's the blonde guy? Spike, right?"

"Spike? Oh, he didn't come. This was like a family thing. Plus Spike would have hated it." Dawn picks up the picture of all of them going down the log ride together.

I have a weird family, she thinks to herself briefly.