"…he gonna be okay?"

"Of course, Dawny. But uh, just in case, let's move him to the cot down in the basement." Waving her arm, willow made the unconscious vampire float into the air. She grunted under the pressure, but was able to keep him airborne. "See? Not a-whoops… Hard to control… Dawny will you get the door? Hope that doesn't make the concussion worse…Sorry, Spike…"

I… am so thirsty…

He turns over on his cot, not realizing that there's really not room for that, and falls to the floor.

"Ow…" Rubbing his head, he realizes it hurts more than it should for just falling to the ground. He looks around, wondering where he is. Looks like a… basement or something?

Sitting up, he looks around for some clue as to why he's here. Finding that effort fruitless, he begins shakily stands up, pressing the palm of his hand into his head. I get in a fight or something?

He heads towards the stairs, trying to blink the blurriness out of his eyes.

Once he reaches the top of the stairs, he finds himself in an unfamiliar kitchen. I get drunk and fight someone, then spend the night at their house…?

Finding himself alone, he headed firsts for the sink. He turned on the water and put his face up to it, splashing it on him and taking a long drink from it. Guess that helped a little… but I'm still so thirsty.

Turning, he sees the front door. Guess I'll be off, then. He opens the door, but before he can step through the threshold he jumps back in surprise.

"Bloody hell!" He jumps into the other room, away from the light that was pouring into the room. "It burned me!" Looking at his arms in surprise, he turned them over a few times, surveying the damage.

"You say something?" A young girl's voice comes from upstairs. The man is still so intrigued at his arms that he doesn't notice her come down the steps.

Just before she steps into the sunlight, he looks up and sees her.

"No!" he shouts, and throws himself at her. "The bleedin' thing will burn ya!" Not knowing his own strength, he falls to the ground with her.

"Spike? What are you talking about?"

"Spikes? Where?" He shouts, now wondering if someone was after them with pointy objects.

"Oh no…" The girl pushes herself up and pulls herself out from underneath the confused man.

"What? What's going on? Who are you?" The man pulls himself up and stands up against the wall, holding his arms out as if to protect himself. "Where am I?"

"Listen, just… calm down. Why don't you have a seat?"

"I am calm! You calm down! Why won't you answer me, little girl? What's going on?"

"Hey, why is the door—oh, you're awake."

The blonde man looked in confusion as a redheaded girl stepped into the house from the sunlight, closing the door behind her.

"Why… why aren't you burnin' like I did?" Looking down at his arms, he considered the red head. "You immune or somethin?"

"Um… What? Dawn, what's going on?"

"I have no idea. I think he has amnesia or something."

"What the bloody hell are you two goin on about? Who has amnesia?" both of them looked at each other and then over at Spike, who was crossing his arms now. "You're both off your rockers, you two. I'm gettin out of here."

Spike made a move for the door, but stopped short in front of the sunlight.

"Sorry, you're stuck here. Do you remember anything? Do you know your name?"

"Course I know my bloody name! You think I'm a-hey wait a minute." Spike stood up straight, and looked off to the side. "My name…" Mumbling to himself, Spike looked off into the distance. "Hi, my name is… uh… Hello, I'm…" Eyes widening, he looked up again at the two women in the room before him. "Whadya do to me?"

"Nothing! Calm down, and we'll tell you everything. First of all, your name is Spike. I'm Willow, and this is Dawn."

"K. So what then, who are you?" Spike asked as calmly as he could, watching them take seats at the kitchen table.

"Uh… just said, Spike."

"No, I mean who are you to me. You're Willow and Dawn, but who are you to me? And what am I doin here? Do I live here, with you two?"

"No, you don't. You live uh… doesn't matter. Not here. But you are here a ton, because uh…"

"Because why?" Spike prompts when she trails off.

"You protect me. And Willow too, and the others." Dawn motions for Spike to sit down, but he doesn't. He regards her with a suspicious eye, and waits for her to continue. "You uh… You probably have amnesia because you were protecting me."

"Right."

The whole Scooby gang was assembled later that evening. Spike mostly just watched them, only asking questions occasionally. Turns out when he killed that demon, it released some kind of toxin that was shrouding his memories.

It was interesting, watching them. He didn't feel anything particular towards them, except some annoyance. He couldn't figure out why they kept saying he protected them. He didn't love any of them, that was for sure.

That's because that emotion is gone, little William. Just like everything else that was pure and good.

Spike shook his head. Another flashback. What had his name been? Angelus, that was it.

Why? Why did he stick around these people, who clearly had little regard for him? Even as they were studying for a way to help him remember, he could tell most of them were just goofing off. Even the ones that were seriously looking were only doing it halfheartedly. It was clear he didn't have a place among them, not really.

Spike glanced at the door and considered just leaving. He knows what he is, more or less. A vampire. Can't attack people though, some kind of uh…something. Didn't care. Doesn't matter. He could figure it out on his own.

Standing, Spike regarded the warm scene before them. Couples coupling together. Eating dinner. Looking through old, dusty books. No, this wasn't his scene. Spike couldn't tell you the year he was born or if he had a last name, but he knew this wasn't where he belonged.

So, he slipped out the front door into the night.

"Ah ha! I got it! Looks like this should work. Spike?" Willow looked over to the vacant couch and stood up. "Where'd Spike go?"

"He was over there just a second ago… I thought."

"Maybe he went outside for a smoke?"

"I'll go check. Stay here in case he comes back." Standing, Xander took one last bite of his pizza and headed outside.

It was a warm night, and the moon was full. Xander saw him almost immediately, right next to his tree.

"There you are. Come on back inside, we-"

"I remembered." Spike was leaning against the tree, his back turned to Xander.

"What? You remembered everything? Well, that's good news, cuz-"

"No. Not everything, just… some things. Doesn't matter. I figured it out. Why I stick around here."

Xander leaned against the railing and raised his eyebrows, waiting for him to elaborate.

"That's something I'd like to hear. Unless it's about Buffy, because…"

"No, it's not about uh… Buffy. It's…" Spike turned and faced Xander, eyes clear with understanding. "Really, it doesn't matter." Spike shook his head and started heading up the stairs. "Just hope you know you'll never have to put me down… more loyal than a damn retriever, this Spike is." Spike walked inside, leaving the door open for Xander.

"Angelus. It's been too long. Introduce me to your family."

"Of course, Charles. This is my dear wife and sire Darla, and my daughter Drusilla. Oh, and that there is William, the newest addition."

"I see. Whose is he?"

"Well Charles, they're all mine. Dru picked this one up though, clever girl she is. We needed a good loyal guard dog, after all." I sneer at the Irishmen, and turn my attention back to this stranger named Charles. Don't like him. "Dangerous world we live in. Don't mind him, Charles, come in and have a drink. We got ourselves a whole family for this reunion."

That's the way he'd always been. First loyal to mum, then to Angelus, then to Dru, then to Buffy. It was always the same. Beat him. Throw him out. Yell at him. Threaten him. Didn't matter—never mattered. Just don't abandon him. He'll be devoted and loyal through it all, he'll keep coming back until you force him to stay away. Only difference between now and before was Angelus and Dru knew the power they had over him. They knew how to manipulate his addiction to feeling needed and wanted, no matter the cost. His need to protect the nest. He hadn't always been good at it, of course, but whenever one of his antics got the family into trouble, Angelus knew just what to say to make him feel like dirt and come crawling back, begging to be let back in.

Buffy didn't know the power she'd had over him, but she'd wielded it just as effectively as Angelus had. To him, her hate always felt like love. It's really not a surprise he fell for her so hard. Every time she'd said she needed him, no matter what it was for… she'd been tightening the leash. Binding him to her and everything she held dear.

Even in her death he wasn't free. Couldn't be free. Didn't want to.