I hadn't originally intended to do another chapter for this story, but then I got an idea and the rest is history. I'm not certain exactly how I feel about it, but here it is anyway: some (I think) kind of cute and mildly awkward fluff. :)
Cullen closed the large door to the War Room, leaned his back against it, and allowed his head to fall back with a soft thump. With closed eyes he let out a long breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. Thankfully the room was empty.
"I'm in trouble," he murmured to himself. The Inquisitor's friends had just convinced him to dance with her in the room below the Main Hall, which was almost embarrassing enough. But he had enjoyed it. He enjoyed the feel of her in his arms, the smile she gave him, the feeling that he could stare into her green eyes forever… He shook his head and moved to the table, trying in vain to focus his thoughts on work instead of on Cara.
The moonlight streaming through the windows was very nearly enough to easily read by, so Cullen scooped one of the papers off the table and leaned against the window. It wasn't the odd lighting that caused him to continually lose his focus on the page, though. He had admitted that the Inquisitor was attractive from the moment they met on the battlefield, but her personality had really gotten his attention over the past few months. When she had been lost after Haven fell, he had refused to give up on her. That was when he realized how much having her around had meant to him, but it was only in the last couple of weeks that he had realized just how much space in his head she truly occupied. He hadn't given it much consideration, though, assuming she wouldn't reciprocate the feeling. He was content in the knowledge that she was just here and they were friends. This had changed that, though. At least, he thought it did. When she had danced with Cole, she looked so exuberant and she was focused solely on him. Watching them, Cullen had found himself wanting her to look at him that way. And she had. It made his breath catch in his throat thinking back on her expression. He hadn't wanted to let her go at the end of the song, but what really threw him was that she hadn't moved either. It was an indication to him that not only did he care about Cara more than he thought, but that maybe, just maybe, she felt the same way.
He chastised himself over and over as he stood there. She was the Inquisitor and they were in the middle of a war! He kept thinking that it wasn't possible and that he shouldn't be thinking of her like that, but it was to no avail; he just couldn't shake his feelings. Admitting it was difficult, but there was no other way to look at it: Cullen cared about Cara quite a bit more than he should. The best he was able to do as he stood there was decide not to say anything unless she did. He wasn't going to make this awkward. Deep down, though, he knew he wanted her to say something. He desperately wanted an excuse to hold her again, to pull her even closer, to press his lips to hers. Cullen didn't think he had been standing there for very long when he heard footsteps outside the door, which opened soon after, shaking him from his wild imaginings.
Cara stepped through the doorway, leaving it open behind her, while muttering something under her breath that Cullen didn't completely catch. He was pretty sure he heard "idiotic" and "stupid" along with a curse or two. She set a wine bottle on the table and started looking around for something, seemingly oblivious to his presence. He wasn't sure if he should say something or not. She picked up a stack of papers and began leafing through them using the bit of light streaming in through the door.
"Read that. Read that. Don't remember that one. Oof, not that one again. Did I see this one? Probably should take it anyway." Cullen had noticed early on that Cara tended to think out loud when she thought she was alone, a sure sign in this case that she didn't realize he was there. "Reports and a pilfered bottle of wine. What a lovely way to spend the night." She looked at the top report and grimaced, then turned to her bottle and grimaced again. "On second thought, I should go get some tea. I'm probably going to need it." Gathering the reports she was going to take with her and the bottle, she turned to go. She only made it a couple of steps before stopping dead in her tracks with a small gasp. Slowly she turned to see Cullen in his spot by the window and he sheepishly met her gaze.
"Andraste's ass, Cullen! You could have said something!" He thanked the relative darkness when he felt his cheeks heat.
"I'm sorry, Inquisitor. You were focused on the reports and I didn't want to startle you." A lame excuse, but true.
"So you stand in the corner like some creepy person? Great plan!" There was her usual sarcasm.
"I am sorry. That wasn't my intention." Cara sighed and hung her head.
"It's alright. It's just been…an odd evening." When she looked back up to him, it felt like her gaze on him was more intense, though the lighting didn't permit him to see it.
"I suppose it has been." Now it was his turn to look down.
"Not every night you get to spill half your life story to your friends," she scoffed. "I, um, I'm sorry you got caught up in that, by the way. I mean, it was fun, it's just… Well, they shouldn't have pressured you, is all." Cara bit her lip, a habit when she felt awkward. Cullen was quite surprised that she was apologizing for the incident, and couldn't help but think I'm not sorry.
"It's quite alright," he found himself saying as he stepped closer to the table in an effort to reassure her. "I should apologize for being there in the first place." He hadn't meant to get involved, after all. He could just make out her smile.
"Don't worry about it. Skyhold is a big place, but we do all live together; it was bound to happen eventually. Besides, the whole thing was strangely…cathartic." Cullen wasn't entirely certain how to respond to her, so they stood in an awkward silence for a moment before Cara cleared her throat nervously and said, "Anyway, I should get to these reports. Goodnight, Cullen." She turned to go and Cullen spoke to her back.
"Oh, Inquisitor? If you were grimacing at the report I think you were, you'll definitely want tea rather than wine. To call it dull would be an understatement." She waved over her shoulder and smiled at him when she turned to close the door.
"Thanks for the warning!" Then she was gone, leaving Cullen in the dark once again with his thoughts. He nearly jumped out of his skin when the door opened again and Cara leaned through the gap.
"You know, you don't have to work in here this evening if you don't want to. I'll be working on these reports for quite a while and I do have a rather comfortable couch if you'd like to join me. I can easily get tea for both of us, if you'd like." She was inviting him to her quarters? He suddenly noticed she was biting her lip again and it appeared as though she was looking at the table rather than him. Cullen struggled a bit with what to say. He wanted to, but he wasn't certain it would be appropriate. Then again, it was only working in the same room and they essentially did that every day. He waited just a moment too long to decide, though. "Um, if you'd prefer to work alone half in the dark, that's fine. It, uh, it was just a thought. I'll just…" She started to slip out the door again.
"Inquisitor! I didn't mean to imply…" Hang it, he thought. "That sounds much more pleasant than standing over this table for several more hours today. Just let me get what I'll need." He smiled at her and she smiled tentatively back.
"Trust me, it'll be much better. We really should put some seats in here… Anyway, I have a kettle and tea in my room, so I'll get us some water and cups." This time she darted out the door, leaving it open behind her.
Cullen couldn't help but smile. He felt like he shouldn't go and he shouldn't be encouraging this, but it was just work and it was more comfortable. Plus it was good to know she wasn't avoiding him after what happened downstairs. Perhaps this was a mistake, but it never occurred to him to change his mind as he gathered the papers he needed. He still wouldn't say anything to her, but he would enjoy even working together in silence with Cara.
"So here we are in the middle of the Emerald Graves. This stupid giant has fallen directly on top of Dorian. If he hadn't been shouting at us to get him out of there, I would have been worried. Anyway, we finally manage to extricate him and he just stands there in front of me, covered in grass stains and blood looking for all the world like he had just been the victim of the most terrible prank ever. He looks me square in the eye and all he says is, 'Did I ever tell you how much I detest giants?' and walks away with his shoulders slumped and trying in vain to get some of the mess off of him." Cara and Cullen had been upstairs in her quarters for at least an hour, though she had completely lost track of time. They had gotten some work done, but it hadn't taken long for them to start breaking the silence more frequently. Now they were on her balcony regaling each other with amusing anecdotes. It happened to be Cara's turn, and Cullen was listening with an amused smile on his face. "Of course we followed him, intending to go back to camp. Fighting a giant is exhausting, after all. But we only went maybe twenty feet when we felt the ground shake and another giant is approaching us! I don't know why that area is so infested with giants, but they were everywhere! We all just kind of looked at each other, but Dorian... Dorian stood there, a few feet in front of me, and absolutely glared at me to the point that I honestly think if we hadn't made a break for it, he might have helped that giant throw boulders at us!" Cullen laughed out loud at the story, causing Cara to smile even wider; she loved the sound of his laughter.
"That really shouldn't be that funny!"
"I know, I know. But the look on his face was hysterical, and the fact that I always feel like I shouldn't be laughing makes it even funnier for some reason. He would probably threaten me with lightning if he knew I told you about that."
"I'll never tell," he said with a wide smile.
Cara looked out over the mountains, occasionally sneaking a peak at her companion. For once, he didn't seem to be on edge. She had surprised even herself when she invited him to work with her, but now that they were here, she couldn't be more pleased, even if the actual work hadn't lasted for very long. He was a very attractive man, but when he let his guard down, he could also be funny, kind, and perceptive. Cara realized with a start that she could get used to his company a little too easily. In fact, she was already considering asking him to join her tomorrow. They continued to observe the mountains standing at a respectful distance from each other, but she found herself wanting to be a little closer. She had to force herself to maintain a proper distance. While looking up at the moon, though, she put her hand down on the bannister only to meet his fingers rather than the cold stone. It was surprising, but not nearly as surprising as the fact that he didn't move. She didn't want him to, either. Normally he wore thick leather gloves, but tonight he didn't and she relished the brief moment of contact. It was almost electrifying and she wanted nothing more than to lace her fingers into his. She didn't dare look up at him, fearing he would move. What she couldn't see was the surprised look he shot her that quickly morphed into a smile. When she shivered a little from the cold, he suggested they return inside. Cullen sat back down on the couch, which was in front of the fireplace, while Cara poured them both another cup of tea. After carefully considering it, she chose to sit on the couch with him, leaving some space between them, with one leg curled under her. She didn't want to let this moment, whatever it was, slip by.
"This has been remarkably enjoyable," she ventured. She watched out of the corner of her eye as his hand grasped his tea cup slightly harder.
"It has. We see all of your reports from the field, but they rarely have space for the more entertaining side of things. For that matter, I suppose working for the Inquisition in general rarely leaves space for more entertaining things."
"Do you usually work this late?" If she was going to ask, she should do it while she still had the courage.
"Most of the time, yes. There's always something to be done, it seems."
"I know the feeling." Cara paused, trying not to think about what she was getting at. It wasn't like it was an inappropriate request, but boldness had never been her strong suit. "I usually work well into the night also. Perhaps, if you'd like, we could work together more often in the evenings. I mean, it is more comfortable up here, at least when you would be in the War Room. I suppose it wouldn't make sense to walk all the way over here from your tower…" It all kind of came out in a rush and she refused to look in his direction, though she did see him quickly look to her. She hadn't meant to start rambling, but she couldn't calm her nerves enough to stop it in time.
"I would be grateful of the company, if you're certain." Cara's heart felt like it skipped a beat and she suddenly felt like a young girl again with a crush, but she looked at him with a smile that she couldn't keep from spreading. She felt even more giddy when she realized he wore a smile as well. "I should probably take my leave for tonight, though." Placing his cup on a table, he stood and gathered his papers. "Goodnight. Cara."
"Goodnight, Cullen." She suppressed another small grin at the use of her name. It was far from the first time he had used it, but she really enjoyed that he had used it without her prompting him. It was more intimate.
Cullen started down the stairs to her door, leaving Cara in the suddenly-too-big room looking after him. Looking into her fireplace, she tried to sort out her feelings. She felt like a giddy young girl, but she was also terrified she had done something wrong. It didn't seem like it; she just didn't want to mess this up. Dancing with Cullen earlier that evening had forced her to realize how much she cared about him and spending time with him like this had strengthened it. With a sigh, she forced herself up from the couch to at least attempt to read a few more reports. She glanced to the stairs where he had disappeared before she sat at her desk, ran her hand through her loose hair, and bit her lip again.
"I'm in big trouble," she murmured as she leaned back into the seat, resigned to the fact that she cared about the Inquisition's Commander far more than she probably should. And though it scared her, she was quite alright with the realization.