Sorry about the wait! I hope you enjoy this :P

And to Nisha about your questions on how long it takes to write a chapter:

It really depends on how long the chapter is and what's going on in it. Everyone has problems with certain parts of writing and my trouble spots are the loooong dialogue scenes where nothing fun is really happening. If you're really excited about the story and love writing it, it shouldn't take you too long-but then again, it all depends on the writer. My problem is always that i get stumped on something and get less and less enthusiastic about it. That's why i try and keep myself motivated with music and writing other stuff. I have a ton of stories on my computer that i started, got really excited about in the beginning, then lost interest-just don't let that happen! Keep motivated, but still be willing to take a break every now and then if you feel like you're forcing it all out. Good luck on your story!

For about twenty more minutes, I pretended to be actively listening to Hodge while he explained the schedule for tomorrow. I picked up only the fact that Clary and I needed to be ready and waiting for the Silent Brothers at five thirty. Alec had taken off to go God knows where after about ten minutes of Hodge's spiel about being careful and respectful to the Silent Brothers.

Trust me, I'd be perfectly respectful. They scared the crap out of me. But then again, I couldn't help but wonder if that might change. Everything about me seemed to be changing lately. Ever since that short, temperamental redhead walked into our hunt everything had seemed to being sliding out of place inside of me.

When Hodge was finally finished talking, I nodded one more time, stood up and left the room. When I turned to head down the hallways towards the residential wing, I felt the tip of my boot hit something on the floor. I looked down to see Clary, her back up against the wall and her head tipped to the side, resting on her shoulder. Her legs were splayed out in front of her and one hand had fallen to her side while the other rested on her stomach.

I smiled a little down at her before turning and poking my head back into the kitchen.

"Hodge," I called. He turned his head up to look at me and I pointed over my shoulder with my thumb. "Do you care what room I put Clary in?" I asked.

"I figured she was just asleep in the infirmary," he said, looking quizzical. I smirked a little.

"I don't think she knew how to get there. She's out in cold in the hallway." I watched as Hodge's brows shot up before furrowing together.

"But Alec just left…why didn't he say anything?" I frowned.

"I don't think he likes her much," I said, leaning against the doorway. Hodge frowned as well and stood wearily from his chair. He walked over to step out into the hallway after me and smiled when he saw Clary. I took another look at her and smiled too. She seemed absolutely perfect, her lips parted slightly as she slept and her hair just barely brushing over her cheeks.

I heard Hodge chuckle and snapped my head around to look at him. He was watching me.

"What?" I asked, furrowing my brows together. He just shook his head in amusement.

"I thought you seemed a little...off before. You've seemed very…alive lately." I frowned, not understanding what he was getting at.

"You like her," he said, sounding very much like a little kid. "She is a beautiful girl, but you stare at her fairly often—more than I would find normal, even for a girl as pretty as her."

"I don't like her," I argued, looking back down at her. "She's just…" I trailed off, unsure how to finish my sentence.

"Her spirit," I finally said after fishing for a way to explain it. "It's like she's a bright light, always moving, always so full of life. And she's brave. And I know all Shadowhunters are brave, but she wasn't raised like us. And she's so selfless. She's going through all of this for her mom. Sure, it's a little bit that she's curious of her past, but do you really think she'd be willing to go to the Silent Brothers and let them dig around in her brain for curiosity? It's like she's a Shadowhunter, but not. She had all the selflessness and bravery of one, but she never got to the point where she became hard and closed-off like a lot of us. I've never met someone with a spark as bright at hers."

Hodge's grin just increased in size. "You're doing an awful job of convincing me you don't like her." I scowled at him, debating just storming away to leave him to take care of Clary. But when I looked down at her, I knew I wouldn't leave her for Hodge to take care of.

I had no doubt that I would wake her up instead of carrying her. So I just settled for grumbling in irritation and ignoring his teasing looks. I knelt down and carefully slipped an arm under her knees and one behind her back. Once I had her settled in my arms, I stood up smoothly, noticing that she barely weighed anything. She stirred slightly and I froze where I stood, not wanting to wake her.

I knew she hadn't gotten much sleep lately and the last thing I wanted was for her to wake up when she was finally getting some. Then another, more awful thought came to mind. What if she woke up to realize that I was holding her? She would freak out.

Maybe she'd slap me again, I thought to myself in amusement.

Thankfully, I didn't have to find out as she just rested her head against my shoulder, tangling her hand in my shirt and muttering something unintelligible. I smiled a little as she gripped my shirt tighter when I began to walk down the hallway behind Hodge. I was careful to make my gait smooth and even to avoid jarring her.

I trailed Hodge until we reached the residential wing. He stopped at one of the first rooms we came to and opened the door, gesturing for me to enter.

"Her bag's in there already. Get her settled and get some sleep yourself. Make sure you're ready in time, I'll come in and wake her up when it's time to—"

"That's fine," I said quickly. "I'll get her up." I coughed to cover up some of the eagerness in my tone, but I knew that Hodge had heard it. He raised his brows, nodded, and left the room, the door closing behind him.

I sighed with a roll of my eyes and walked over to the bed. I reluctantly lowered Clary down to the bed. As soon as her back hit the bed, she'd released my shirt and was rolling over on top of the covers. I gingerly pulled the blankets out from under her and rested them over her. She was resting on her back when I straightened up to leave. Her red curls were spread out across the pillow, her eyelashes fluttering as she dreamed. I reached forward without thinking about it and brushed a strand of hair from her cheek.

Before I thought better of it, I leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. I left quickly after that, wary that I had woken her. I mentally shouted at myself the whole way back to my room. Why did I do that? Why? What was I doing?

I gritted my teeth as I threw my door open angrily. I shut it behind me firmly and stormed into my room, becoming angrier with myself the more I thought. What the hell did I think I was doing? Doting on this girl who might as well be a mundane, treating her like one of us. Hell, I was defending her over my parabatai. Staring at her when I wouldn't be caught, listening to every word she uttered like some love-struck tween.

I unclipped my weapon belt and threw it across the room. It skittered across the floor until it hit the wall and I dropped down on my bed to yank my boots off.

Why the hell did I kiss her? Even on the cheek, that was over a line. That was over the line of just caring about a lost girl. It was something someone did when they had feelings for someone. I let my feet go back to the ground, both boots still on my feet, and dropped my head into my hands.

"Hodge is right," I muttered. "I do like Clary. Too much." I shook my head violently, tugging on the blonde strands.

"No. I don't like her. I can't like her. She'll destroy me," I whispered to myself.

I stood up again, beginning to pace around my room like a caged animal. I ran my hands down my face as I looked up to the ceiling as though praying for divine intervention. I dropped back down on my bed, tugging less sadistically at the laces of my boots now. I clenched my jaw, deciding that I was perfectly capable of fixing this.

If she hated me, it would be easy to make myself indifferent to her. And it wasn't exactly hard to make a girl hate you—I knew that from experience. All it took was a nasty insult or insinuation. Just from knowing her for a few days, I could think of a dozen ways I could make her hate me. She clearly cared a lot about her family. What if I refused to help look for her mother? Or threw a dig about that Luke, who had turned her away when she needed him.

Just thinking about the look on her face if I did either of those things, though, I knew that I could never do them. Not only would that make her hate me—and probably get me clawed across the face again—it would destroy her just a little bit more. No matter how strong Clary wanted people to think she was, I could see through it. Maybe it was because I was the same way. But I knew that she was really fragile inside. I could see how everything she'd learned was wearing on her. Every little revelation was knocking her world even more out of balance, cracking her a little bit more.

I couldn't hurt her more than she'd already been hurt. I didn't want to hurt her at all. And I wanted to push her away, to protect her, because I know that if I let her get close to me, let myself care about her, I would hurt her more.

And I wanted to protect myself. I could tell that already, she was capable of hurting me. Somehow, she had gotten to me. But how had I let that happen? And how could I fix it? How could I fix it without hurting both of us?

You can't, you idiot. You got yourself into this. You were warned. You were warned that love weakens you. You didn't listen.

Why didn't I listen? But love? I didn't love her. Did I?

"Dammit, why didn't I listen?"

When my alarm clock went off just before dawn, I was already up. I'd jerked awake minutes before my alarm was due to go off, my heart pounding after the dream I'd had. I couldn't get it out of my head as I pulled a shirt and dark jeans on. I slipped out of my room, rubbing my eyes.

I thought about my dream on the way to see Clary.

Dammit, I even think about her when I'm asleep now.

I'd dreamt that Clary and I were dancing. It'd started out like a normal dance that they held frequently in Idris. I'd been dancing jokingly with Izzy, like we always did at balls. I had held my hand out to spin her ridiculously while we both laughed loudly, earning disdainful looks from the adults around us.

But when Izzy had turned back to face me, I was no longer dancing with my sister, but Clary. She'd fallen into my arms with a small laugh, tipping her head back to look up at me.

I'd asked her where Izzy had gone and she just shrugged as she lifted her arms up to clasp her hands behind my neck. The dream had ended just as she leaned up on her toes to press her lips to mine.

I sighed as I reached her door now, unable to banish the longing feelings the dream had left me with. I'd been unable to come to a decision last night. Well, any other than the fact that I couldn't hurt her. And I couldn't make her hate me. I wouldn't be able to see her look at me with those bright, sparkling eyes of hers and see them burning with loathing whenever she looked in my direction. It was a selfish decision. I knew I should let her hate me. But I couldn't.

I pushed the door open and poked my head in, seeing Clary in pretty much the same position as she had been in when I'd left her the night before. Her hair was messier and stuck to her neck with sweat though, and the blankets were tangled about her legs. Clearly she was having as restless of a sleep as I had. I walked in and dropped down tiredly on the edge of her bed.

"Wake up, Clary," I said softly. I saw her jerk in her sleep, throwing an arm out as though to fend off an attacker. I frowned and caught her wrist. When she threw her other arm out, I caught that one too and held them tightly but gently.

"Wake up," I said, louder this time. She jolted awake, sitting up quickly, her vivid eyes popping open. She tried to struggle from my grip in a blind fear before her eyes seemed to focus on me.

"Jace?"

"Yeah," I responded quietly.

"Let go of me," she said, frowning as her eyes flickered to where I still held her wrists. I did as she said, only remembering once she reminded me that I was still holding her.

"Sorry. You tried to hit me the second I said your name." I noticed that her eyes were jumping around the room, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I'm a little jumpy, I guess," she said apologetically. "How did I get here? I don't remember…"

I smiled slightly. "I found you asleep on the floor in the hallway. Hodge helped me get you into bed." Not that I usually need any help getting girls into bed, I almost said. I figured she wouldn't appreciate it much. "Thought you'd be more comfortable in a guest room than the infirmary," I said instead.

She frowned more, pushing hair from her face. "Wow. I don't remember anything. What time is it, anyway?"

"About five," I answered, watching her as she looked out the window.

"In the morning? You'd better have a good reason for waking me up," she snapped. I smirked.

"Why, were you having a good dream?"

"I don't remember," she said. The slight pause and blush on her cheeks gave her away though, and I wondered what she had been dreaming about.

If only she'd had the same dream, I thought wistfully. It would make how I feel a hell of a lot easier.

I stood up with a mental sigh. "One of the Silent Brothers is here to see you. Hodge sent me to wake you up. Actually, he offered to wake you up himself, but since it's five a.m., I figured you'd be less cranky if you had something nice to look at."

She rolled her eyes at my joke. "Meaning you?"

"What else?" She sighed, sounding agitated.

"I didn't agree to this, you know. This Silent Brother thing." I sighed. I figured she'd have second thoughts. But I knew she would agree anyway.

"Do you want to find your mother, or not?" She looked at me flatly.

"You just have to meet Brother Jeremiah," I said, trying to sooth her worries. "That's all. You might even like him. He's got a great sense of humor for a guy who never says anything," I joked.

She sighed and dropped her head into her hands tiredly at my crack. "Get out. Get out so I can change."

I grinned and stepped out to wait for her. Church passed by while I was waiting and began to pace nervously around my legs. When Clary opened the door five minutes later, I couldn't keep my eyes on her face.

She was wearing a pair of cutoff shorts that made her legs look longer than they were. They made her curves more noticeable. The way her legs curved was like torture designed specifically for any men in the area. And the black t-shirt she wore reminded me of Shadowhunter fighting gear. The fact that she was wearing the color of our gear made her seem even more attractive to me.

I groaned inwardly. This was going to be a long day. I saw her eyes skip to Church, her brows furrowing.

"What's with the cat?"

"The Silent Brothers make him nervous," I responded, rolling my eyes at the antsy cat.

"Sounds like they make everyone nervous," she observed, looking nervous herself. I smiled slightly and began to lead her down the hall, leaving Church behind us to meow at the walls.

Throughout the walk to the library, I forced myself to focus on possible plans of action depending on what we learned instead of how I wished Clary had left her hair down instead of putting it up in a ponytail.

When we reached the library, I saw Clary look around with wide eyes at the darkened room. I watched her as her eyes skimmed over Brother Jerimiah once and twice before she realized that he was standing near Hodge. I saw her freeze as she noticed him, her back stiffening in surprise and apprehension.

"This, is Brother Jerimiah of the Silent City," Hodge introduced casually. I'd met him before, and although the Brothers always set me on edge, I couldn't help but watch Clary's reaction as the man stepped forward silently, his robes swirling around his feet.

Hodge stood as Jerimiah stopped in front of Clary, who was still tensed up in fear.

"And this, Jerimiah, is the girl I wrote to you about. Clarissa Fray."

"Hello," Clary said, her voice only trembling ever so slightly. I nearly grinned at her attempt to ease the tension when Jerimiah didn't respond in any way. Her eyes flickered to me for a split second before she locked them back on the cloaked figure in front of her.

"I decided you were right, Jace," Hodge said, breaking the awkward silence Jerimiah had created. I already knew that, of course. He was saying it for Clary's benefit.

"I was right. I usually am," I responded coolly. Hodge ignored me and I frowned as he continued.

"I sent a letter to the Clave about all this last night, but Clary's memories are her own. Only she can decide how she wants to deal with the contents of her own head. If she wants the help of the Silent Brothers, she should have that choice."

I could see the gears in Clary's head turning as she seemed to reevaluate her decision. But I wasn't worried. I knew she would go through with it. She was too selfless to let her fear get in the way of saving her mother.

This is Jocelyn's daughter? The Brother asked, although it was fairly obvious in my opinion. Why else would he have been called here?

I heard Clary gasp and she stumbled back a step. I'd forgotten how frightening the way the Brothers spoke could be the first time you experience it. Their odd way of speaking—since their mouths were sewed shut just like their eyes—was through your mind. Their words echoed around in your skull as though you'd thought it yourself.

"Yes, but her father was a mundane," Hodge explained. I frowned, wondering if that was as true as we'd thought. Hadn't we thought her mother was a mundane?

That does not matter. The blood of the Clave is dominant.

"Why did you call my mother Jocelyn?" Clary asked, seemingly over the majority of her fear. I saw her trying to subtly search for Jerimiah's hidden face. I knew he was trying to be kind, to keep from frightening her, but I couldn't help but think that he should have shown his face immediately—let her get used to it all at once. "Did you know her?" Clary asked, frowning slightly as she gave up her search.

"The Brothers keep extensive records on all members of the Clave," Hodge said, sounding much like the tutor he'd always been to me. "Exhaustive records—"

"Not that exhaustive, if they didn't even know she was still alive," I smarted off without a thought.

It is likely that she had the assistance of a warlock in her disappearance. Most Shadowhunters cannot so easily escape the Clave.

"There's something I don't understand," Clary said. Just one thing? She's way ahead of me. "Why would Valentine think my mother had the Cup? If she went through that much trouble to disappear, like you said, then why would she bring it with her?"

Hodge sighed wearily. "To keep him from getting his hands on it. She above all people would have known what would happen if Valentine had the Cup. And I imagine she didn't trust the Clave to hold onto it. Not after Valentine got it away from them in the first place."

"I guess," Clary uttered unwillingly. She seemed to believe that her mother had taken the Cup as much as I believed that her father was a mundane.

Hodge seemed to sense that she didn't believe them. "Jocelyn turned against her husband when she found out what he intended to do with the Cup. It's not unreasonable to assume she would do everything in her power to keep the Cup from falling into his hands. The Clave themselves would have looked first to her if they'd thought she was still alive." She scowled, appearing to grow angry suddenly. Her anger put me on edge.

"It seems to me that no one the Clave thinks is dead is ever actually dead. Maybe they should invest in dental records," she snapped. I scoffed.

"My father's dead," I snapped in return. "I don't need dental record to tell me that." I knew I sounded like a petulant child, but I couldn't help it.

Clary spun to face me with a mostly exasperated look with a hint of an apology in her eyes. "Look, I didn't mean—"

That is enough, the Silent Brother, who we'd somehow managed to forget about, interrupted her. I saw a spark of annoyance in her eyes as she turned back to look at him. Note to self: she doesn't like being interrupted. There is truth to be learned here, if you are patient enough to listen to it.

Before I could make a smart comment in response, he'd reached up and pushed his parchment hood back. I grimaced while Clary sucked in a breath, her vivid eyes widening to an almost comical size. I was familiar by now with the…unsettling appearance of the Silent Brothers. Missing eyes and lips stitched together, they weren't exactly the most handsome of the Shadowhunters. But then again, I'd heard that Iron Sisters—the Shadowhunters who dedicated their lives to forging the weapons we defended the world with—had flames in place of their eyes. I couldn't imagine that would be much better.

The Brothers of the Silent City do not lie. If you want the truth from me, you shall have it, but I shall ask of you the same in return.

I saw Clary set her jaw defiantly. "I'm not a liar either."

I smiled faintly. An honest person was one I could respect.

The mind cannot lie. It is your memories I want.

I saw Clary suddenly began to pale as the Brother approached her and had to force myself not to jump between them.

"Wait—" she began to plead, only for Hodge to interrupt her. I looked at him in surprise. Was he going to force her to do this if she didn't want to anymore?

"Clary, it's entirely possible that there are memories you have buried or repressed, memories formed when you were too young to have a conscious recollection of them, that Brother Jerimiah can reach. It could help us a great deal."

I saw Clary chewing nervously on her bottom lip, her brows furrowed in uncertainty.

"She doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to, does she?" I asked, alarmed at the thought that the Clave had decided this for her already, demanded that she be given over to the Brothers.

I knew what they could do to her if they weren't careful, what any of them could do. They could pull one little thread in her mind and pull it to pieces without even breaking a sweat.

"It's all right," Clary said, her voice determined but shaky. "I'll do it."

As Jerimiah lifted his hands towards her, I heard her whisper, "Will it hurt?"

I scowled when the Brother didn't bother to respond, just placing his scarred fingers along the sides of her face. Her eyes fluttered closed and they both stood in silence for a few moments. I watched her nervously, feeling wretched for having suggested this. I was watching her closely enough that I saw the exact moment when her hands fisted at her sides, her arms and legs beginning to shake. I could see the sweat beginning to glisten on her forehead as her brows furrowed together in pain.

When she gasped out loud, I couldn't watch anymore.

"That's enough," I snapped. Jerimiah pulled his hands from her face and I saw her suck in a breath, her eyes fluttering open once again. I felt instantly calmed when I saw the green orbs flicker around the room. Then I caught sight of a flash of red on her palms and the calmness dissipated quickly.

"Jace," Hodge snapped, appalled that I had interrupted the Silent Brother.

"Look at her hands," I snapped, throwing a hand towards Clary, who blocked the slightly bleeding crescent moon-shaped cuts from sight with her fingers. Hodge's scolding look morphed to one of concern and he put a hand gently on her shoulder.

I itched to move forward and do the same, but forced myself to remain in place. I saw her nod gingerly, swallowing thickly.

There is a block in your mind. Your memories cannot be reached.

"A block? You mean she's repressed her memories?" I asked, not fully understanding what the Brother meant.

No. I mean they have been blocked from her conscious mind by a spell. I cannot break it here. She will have to come to the Bone City and stand before the Brotherhood.

I felt a chill run up my spine as I realized that I would have to stand and watch as Clary had her mind searched by a multitude of Silent Brothers.

"A spell," Clary said finally, looking at Brother Jerimiah in shock. "Who would have put a spell on me?"

I looked to Hodge in alarm. I didn't want Clary to stand before the Brotherhood. Angel only knew what they would do to get the answers the Clave would want.

"Hodge, she shouldn't have to go if she doesn't—"

"It's all right," Clary said softly, cutting me off. I looked at her carefully, seeing her sigh tiredly. It was as though she was already exhausted—and she hadn't even been through the worst of it yet. "I'll go. I want to know the truth. I want to know what's in my head."

I looked at her in barely concealed amazement. She was willing to go through more of what she'd just been through just for some information? Dammit. She's braver than probably ninety percent of the Shadowhunters I've met.

I just nodded. "Fine. Then I'll go with you." No way was I letting anyone else take her to the Silent City. I couldn't trust anybody else to take care of her right. Izzy would probably get distracted and leave her there and Alec would probably distract Clary and leave her there.

It only occurred to me while we were on our way to the entrance to the Institute that the Silent City would be a pretty frightening place for Clary. I felt suddenly excited, feeling like this was the Shadowhunter equivalent of a mundane taking his date to a scary movie to make them cuddle against them when she got scared.

This should be fun.

So, I know that this is shorter than it really is in the book but that just means the next one will be longer than it is in the book! Whoo!

Sorry, I had to get hyped up on gummy bears for inspiration to write the latest chapter to my other story on here! I updated that too today so if you're reading that, you should check that out ;)

I asked this on my other story too so if you read it there i guess you don't have to read it here, but i would definitely be thankful if you read it somewhere!

So I want to start a new story on here. Here's the description for it:

Clarissa Morgenstern had been in a verbally—and occasionally physically—abusive relationship with her boyfriend, Sebastian Verlac, for almost half a year now. She's convinced that he is the way he is because he wants her to be better. And as long as he loves her, it's alright. Right? But when the Lightwoods move into Clary's school district, things begin to get shaken up. And what happens when the Lightwoods' adopted son, Jace, is too smart to fall for the act Sebastian puts up?

I'm really excited about it :) I'd appreciate it if you let me know if that would be something people might be interested in. So please review your opinion on both the chapter and the new idea!

Thanks!

-Cassidy 3