Hey guys! Im backkkkkk –innocent smile- so here is the update for this story:)

"Leave us." I heard her gravel out. Her voice sounded hoarse and I could see her arms were trembling. Her fists clenched as Nyko bowed. He turned and left the tent and Abby was shocked at what she was seeing. "You can't just come in here and say what you want. This was your fault in the first place." She growled out in my defense. She looked extremely pissed off at Lexa. I wonder what happened these past 6 months while I was trapped in that dream world. I stared into Lexa's eyes and without looking away I touched my mom's arm.

"It's okay…" I said quietly. Abby turned to me and then looked back at Lexa before sighing and getting up to walk past Lexa. Lexa didn't wait for her to leave before she was walking quickly to my side and then her strong arms were around me. My eye's widened as she laid half her body across my front squeezing me for dear life. I let out a gasp as a tear dripped down my face feeling the warmth pool near my ear and then go into my hair. My hands trembled as I touched her cold skin that had been hit by the wind and smelled the vanilla and fire smoke caught in her hair.

I couldn't believe it.

She was breathing hard. I could feel it against my neck and then I realized what it was. She was crying. Her body racked with silent sobs as her shoulders shook up and down I pulled her closer and felt the warm liquid touch my neck and drip down to the sheet beneath me. I couldn't help the tears either.

"I am sorry." I heard her say as her voice cracked.

I shook my head and turned my head to lean my cheek against her hair.

"Don't." I said softly. "I don't blame you Lexa…." I couldn't help my throat closing up. "I was lost in there…everything was so….so much better…" my voice cracked.

She lifted her head to stare at me.

"I blamed myself every day." She said so silently I almost didn't hear her. "We thought you were gone forever…your mother said you were in a coma and that the chances were slim you would wake up the longer you were under….you were under for 6 months Clarke." Her lip quivered as she blinks back tears. "6 months."

"I heard your voice." I whispered back.

I felt Lexa's hands squeeze my arms.

"I talked to you every day….except…today…" she looked away and I realized what was going to happen today.

"Were they going to…" I didn't finish as I saw the slight nod.

I put a hand over my eyes.

"There are so many things we need to talk about." I said.

I heard her laugh a little.

"Yes…we do…there is much that you have missed."

"I never want to sleep again."

I felt the laugh against my neck as she leaned her forehead on my shoulder.

"Don't ever scare me like that again."

"I make no promises…" I said as I opened an eye to smile at her.

She left my shoulder to glare at me until she saw the smile on my face.

"I'll try though."

She made a small smile.

"That's all I ask for."

I look down and then over at the cot a little ways away.

"Can you help me up off this table…I'd like to lie down…" I motion to the cot in the corner.

Lexa shook her head.

"You will be staying in my tent…there is much to talk about…" Lexa looked off to the side and I realized how much time had actually past.

I grab her hand and squeeze it.

"What's happened…."

"It must be fate that you have awakened on this day…" she said not looking at me. "I have prayed for your return for the last couple of months and my prayers were never answered until now when I thought I had to give you up…"

I was stunned at what she was saying.

"I thought I had lost you…and yet here you are when I need you most…" She looked at me then with so much conviction in her eyes "a war is approaching Clarke." Her face was Grimm as I stared her down.

"Who is coming." I asked.

"The Ice Queen." I saw fire then in her eyes as she spat her name.

I sighed. "Never a moment's peace…reality sucks.

Lexa gave me an amused look. "Reality is nothing if not lively."

I rolled my eyes and then she helped me off the table and half carried me out of the hospital tent.

I grunted with the effort feeling my eyes begin to blur.

"What happened to Emmerson." I said. I turned a little to look at Lexa who I was basically hanging off of and the fire in her eyes made her seem like the Commander I remembered. Even if her eyes were red rimmed and blood shot and her sniffles were horrendous from the crying.

"Dead." She said with so much hatred I shivered to think on exactly how dead was dead. I mean knowing Lexa she could mean chopped up into little pieces while he was still alive dead, and she still wouldn't be happy.

I smirked a little shaking my head lightly.

"You just love to kill people." I said.

"He deserved worse than death." She grumbled darkly.

"Well at least I don't have to worry about him shooting anyone else in the head then."

Lexa give me that look. You know. The look everyone gives you when you're trying to be funny but really nothing your saying in that context is remotely funny at the time? Yeah that look.

I sighed and chuckled nervously.

"Too soon?"

"Yes." She said and then she looked ahead.

I didn't fight her on that as she went through the tent flap and helped me into her bed.

"Do not move too much."

I nodded.

She walked over to her table filled with documents and maps and pulled a chair and walked back over setting it down and taking a seat.

"Let us talk Clarke." Lexa said as she stared into my eyes. "There is much I need to tell you so I will go first and then if you're feeling up to it you can continue."

I nodded again and then leaned back into the bed and waited.

"It started right after I said my goodbye." She began. The pain evident on her face.

My face remained neutral. This was going to be a long story. I could tell.

I saw the look in your eyes when you realized what I had done and I knew you would never forgive me.

"They made a deal." Your face fell devastated at the turn of events. "How could you I thought you cared!" you yelled at me as tears swam in your eyes. I never forgot.

"I do care Clarke. But I must do for my people above all else." I remember the suffering I was feeling inside. Leaving you like that.

"May we meet again." I knew I didn't deserve it if we did.

When I turned my back on you all I wanted to do was turn back around and say I changed my mind. But I couldn't. This was the only option without losing more lives in that battle. Until come later I found out what you did. I was astonished. I couldn't believe what I had forced your hand to do. I knew it was my fault. So when time came to find you again I went to your camp. But they said you had not been there since it had happened and you were off somewhere in the woods.

I was furious. How could you go out there without protection? On your own? I then ordered a legion of my own warriors to search for you as I did. We spent days trying to track you. We couldn't find you Clarke. It had been too many weeks since you had disappeared into the forest that not even my best trackers could find your trail.

I wanted to form an alliance again…I wanted to try at least. For my people had heard of your conquest and some were frightened of your power. So that gave me a perfect chance to join again. I wanted to make what I did right if only a little. I knew you would never want me again. One day I had just gone off in a direction and just kept going with my horse. My guards behind me following when suddenly I heard a gunshot, it was close and my blood ran cold as I hopped off my horse and raced into the tree's and that's when I saw you.

Laying there, face down with blood pooling quickly. And a little distance away was Emmerson. He was smiling with glee at what he did and all I could do was scream for my men and they raced after him and I leant down looking at you. You weren't moving and I lifted you gently to turn you over and I ripped off my Commanders cape and I tore it.

Lexa looked at me then and I realized what that truly meant to her to have to do that. "It was the only thing I had." She said softly. I nodded for her to continue.

I wrap it around your head as tightly as I could to stop the bleeding. Then I took you into my arms as the men came back with an unconscious Emmerson.

I ordered one to ride as fast as they could to your village and ask for your mom and then I pulled you to me and screamed for the pig to be tied up dragged behind our horses. I took off before my other guard could follow with the worm behind him and I rushed as quickly as I could to Ton DC, to Nyko. When I got there your mother had arrived and she rushed you into the tent. They spent 10 hours in there with you Clarke.

When she finally came out she told me the news. You were in a Coma and she didn't know when you would wake up. I felt loss, devastation, anger, bloodlust. I turned around and screamed at my men to hoist Emmerson up in the town square. I was going to do this myself. I went to my tent and stood there as I ripped off my armor and tattered commander's cape and just ripped everything off. I wiped my face clean as well as the blood soaked hands, covered in your blood. It was like a tidal wave when they first began, the tears. They just fell and I could do nothing to stop the onslaught. I screamed loudly as I shoved the basin of water that was now tainted with your blood off the table from whence it stood and then I turned back around grabbed my dagger and walked out to the town square where many gathered.

I looked on as Emmerson groaned and coughed up blood from how he was dragged through the forest behind a horse. I pulled my dagger and walked up to him not saying a word.

"My death means nothing since the princess has died you can do what you will but my revenge has been satisfied."

I stabbed him in the leg and he screamed like a little girl. I ripped it forward. He howled louder.

I looked at Lexa as she stopped and she gripped her knees with as much conviction as she could while staring at her hands.

"I'm glad he's dead Lexa. You shouldn't feel ashamed on how he was killed." I said softly.

Lexa looked at me in shock. "But I thought you did not like our ways of dealing with punishment." She said quietly as she stared into my eyes.

"I think I'm starting to understand why you do it." I said coldly thinking about Emmerson.

"He deserved every feeling of pain you gave him."

I looked up and Lexa was smiling at me with appreciation.

I chuckled.

"Things sure have changed…your showing so many emotions I can't keep up." I smiled at Lexa.

"Yes. Well…6 months without you would do that to me."

My eyes widened.

"Of course I would never act like this outside of this tent." She said with extreme seriousness.

"Of course not." I rolled my eyes.

Lexa was about to continue her story when Indra came through the tent flap.

"Heda…our scouts have returned." She said dryly.

Lexa's mask returned and she faced Indra.

"Take them to the war room. I will be there shortly." Lexa went to get up and I grabbed her hand as Indra left.

"I'm coming with you." I said.

Lexa looked at me and shook her head.

"It is better if you stay here. Your mother would have my head if she found you walking around out of bed after only being awake a few hours."

I glowered up at her and she squeezed my hand.

"You must become strong again Clarke. I will need you this coming battle. I will tell you all about the meeting when I come back and I will finish my tale."

I didn't have the strength to continue arguing with her so I just laid farther back and sighed my consent.

"Can you let someone know that I'm rather hungry? I'd like to eat and some water too."

Lexa nodded her confirmation before making her way out of the tent.

"How am I going to tell her…that I found her in my dreams." I let out a heavier sigh.

"It's better than dying I guess." I said quietly.